How To Reach In The Face Of Fear
Updated: Jun 29, 2021
Written by: Meghan Patiño, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
These past couple of months, I have worked with clients to declare and fulfill on new relationships, business opportunities, career shifts, and being their own boss. Before the bold declaration, there is a universal hesitation. I recognize it within myself and my clients. Clients shine in their possibility and somewhere that glimmer fades with thoughts of “What if I fail?” or “What if what I do doesn’t work?” There’s an imaginary cliff we edge ourselves up to, look down when it comes to taking action, and decide it’s safer to stay where we are rather than leap toward the other side. Any transformed future is a leap.
So how do we fulfill new possibilities in our businesses, relationships, and personal lives when we really do not know if our leap will be successful? How do we hold onto our goals with both steadfastness and flexibility, because not every leap will have us landing on our toes?
Most people, most of the time related to achieving their goals as external validation of who they are. Within this story, if you fail, then you are a failure (one of the fallacies of white supremacy culture is that there is no grace for mistakes, for learning, or for our humanity). Often, we aren’t aware of how much we place our legitimacy in the results. We establish a brittle relationship to our goals, that leaves us bankrupt. We’re either hell-bent on achieving the results at all costs to ourselves, our loved ones, or anyone we consider “other;” or resigned to the probable future that nothing will change (a good way to not have to be vulnerable). But there is a way to generate breakthroughs and results without placing your value in external validation.
It looks like relating to your goals from your highest commitments. A high commitment relates to your core values and is an organic part of who you are. You may have a commitment to start a business, but from a higher viewpoint, you may see that essential to who you are is being a creator or builder. Declaring goals from this place gives access to bold leaps, confidence amidst rocky waters, and the ability to adjust our stride when needed. This is the sweet spot to return to as we take necessary action toward manifesting results.
Get curious about what your higher commitments are and search for how your goals are already embedded within these commitments. By doing this, you heed to the wisdom of the Sufi proverb that says: “Blessed are the flexible, for they never get bent out of shape.” Taking aligned action from your highest commitments allows for both steadfastness and flexibility that’s needed on the journey of manifesting your visions, projects, and goals.
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Meghan Patiño, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Meghan Patiño is a leader in coaching women to trust themselves as they create a positive impact in the world of organizational leadership, business, and community change. Her clients are entrepreneurs, leaders in tech companies, non-profit executives, public servant managers & parents transitioning to work. All her work is dedicated to the journey of belonging to yourself and to boldly revealing the essence of who you are as you lead your life. Inclusion, self-compassion, anti-racism, and integrity are values she leads by. She utilized her Master in Social Work from St. Louis University to design and implement leadership programs for over 10 years before graduating from Accomplishment Coaching, where she was trained in over 200 tools and distinctions to use with individuals and groups to create deep, sustainable shifts. She lives in Seattle with her partner and three kids and is always up for embracing the chaos, beauty, and adventure of life.
