Written by: Jennifer Sharp, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Do you ever feel like you don’t have enough time to get everything done?
In business?
In your private life?
You work hard but never seem to get ahead. You do all you can to delegate and prioritise your time, schedule projects and work efficiently. You have control. But do you?
How often do you stop to attend to a co-worker, or answer that call, or email? Are you in constant contact with an Energy Vampire?
An Energy Vampire is someone who seem to get your attention at the most inopportune time. They must chat to you now, they want their email answered yesterday, they continuously interrupt in some way. This leaves you exhausted. But you also feel trapped. They need answers. You need to be left to do your job.
You can’t control what others do but you can control how you respond. The following are practical steps you can take to minimise distraction and how to prevent your energy from constantly being drained. These steps not only apply to the workplace, but to also your personal life. I know I have family members who constantly want my attention. I’m sure you do too.
There are 4 types of Energy Vampires:
1.The Egomaniac/Narcissist
This Energy Vampire has an agenda that supersedes all. Everything is about them, including your time. They constantly talk about their achievements, not acknowledging those who contributed to their success. They consider others to be overly dramatic or too sensitive.
They have strong, at times overpowering personalities, but you can work with them.
These are the people who need to feel important, valued and expect to be acknowledged that their contribution is the only right one in either the workplace or a life situation.
The best way to deal with these people is to acknowledge and validate them but then to also turn it around. For example, you may say to them, “That’s a fantastic idea, but how about we explore doing …” or “thank you for your thoughts/ideas, but we need to explore everyone’s suggestions…”
2. The Melodramatic
You may know your personal boundaries, but this person doesn’t. This person doesn’t have an understanding of what to share and what not. Whether it's gossip about a co-worker or someone mutual in your personal life, they feel the need to share even though your body language is suggesting you are far from interested in the conversation.
The best way to deal with these people is to show kindness but clearly communicate that you are not interested. State clearly and directly, “I don’t feel comfortable discussing this here …” or “I can see that you are concerned but can we focus on this task and discuss at a later time…” End or change the conversation as quickly as you can.
3. The Dependent
This person needs constant reassurance that what they are doing is right. They don’t want to let you down, therefore, won’t make any decisions without constantly checking in. They are aware their contribution not only affects you but the whole team. They display learned helplessness. They display wonderful intentions but are unable to work independently.
Answering every single question only exacerbates the situation. The best way to deal with these people is to stop fixing the situation every time this person comes to you. Stop assuring them and create opportunities for them to work things out for themselves. Coach them in the “how’s” of problem solving. Show them appreciation for their efforts and be patient with them. Kindness is key with this person.
Do I hear you say you’ve heard all this before? Do I hear you say – “This is not working!” I’m sure you have heard it all before and it may not be working … yet.
Being consistent is key.
And this is the hardest part.
An Energy Vampire is rewarded every time you engage with them regardless of what kind of vampire they are. If you have tried all these strategies and more and feel they are not working, reassess what you are doing. How are you reacting to this person? Are you giving into them occasionally – demonstrating inconsistency?
The hardest part of dealing with these people is being consistent. Sometimes it can be easier to give in, but this is when you have to stand your ground. Stick to your plan in dealing with them every time, without fail.
If the scenario’s appear to get worse, then it’s working. Hold tight and keep going! The Energy Vampire will eventually learn their strategy of “attention getting” isn’t working anymore.
4. Maybe it’s you!
Could the Energy Vampire be you?
When was the last time you checked in with yourself?
How is your behaviour in the workplace? Around your family and friends?
When reading this, did you have any “aha” moments?
If you recognised some of these in yourself, you also have an awareness to do something about it. You can quickly nip these behaviours in the bud by being proactive and reining in your interactions with others. It’s all a part of growth. It’s all a part of stepping up not only in the workplace, as a leader, but in life in general.
By continually acknowledging these behaviours, whether it’s you who is the Energy Vampire or others around you, and by continually initiating those conversations and allowing growth for everyone, your energy is freed and so is theirs. Your mental health and wellbeing vibrations are raised along with it. Most importantly, with new, healthier boundaries put in place, you can all put your best forward not only in the workplace but in life.
Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, Daisy Lane Publishing, or visit my website for more info! Read more from Jennifer!
Jennifer Sharp, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Jennifer Sharp is a leader in the publishing industry, having founded an award-winning publishing press. She has assisted many with telling their success stories globally, whether it be in business or life. She has created coaching and mentoring programs that develop the writer's confidence in themselves and strategies that help them stay confident within themselves in all areas of their lives authentically. She is the founder of Daisy Lane Publishing and Mindset Magic - Confidence Coaching. Jennifer is on a mission to support as many as she can with living their life fully with positive intentions and to assist them with publishing their story along the way. Jennifer is also passionate about children's picture books and poetry, bringing to life stories that deal with trauma, displacement, homelessness, separation, domestic violence, and language learning.
