3 Steps to Building Resiliency

Written by: Emily Rentas, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

Life will always test us. Even when we do the best planning…

Whatever we face, it is important to develop and nurture the skills necessary to overcome obstacles, challenges, and difficulties. The more we work on these skills, the more resilient we become during change and adversity. When facing difficult situations or circumstances, it helps to remember the wise words of German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, “That which does not kill me makes me stronger.”

Resilience allows us to adapt well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, or significant sources of stress and change. The characteristics of resiliency include creativity, open-mindedness, persistence, and optimism. The most important part of resiliency is our belief in succeeding during times of adversity and change. When we believe we are, we can move towards our goals and become resilient in the process with confidence. When we default to a negative mindset or catastrophic scenarios in the face of challenges, we weaken our resiliency and potentially sabotage our opportunity to resolve the issue.

Do you find yourself often defaulting to the worst-case scenarios or even find it difficult to face new challenges?

Check out the following 3 steps to building your resiliency skills and deal with adversity with strength and grace.

STEP 1: Accept and sit with reality.

Accepting the current conditions of your unfortunate circumstances begins to remove your resistance to change. Not allowing yourself to come to terms with the current circumstances keeps you stuck and peddling your mental wheels to destination nowhere. When we decide to stop avoiding, denying, or struggling with our problems in life or business, we then open the space to allow our time and energy to be spent effectively problem-solving.

Once we begin to understand the uncomfortable feelings or approaches are part of a normal response to the situation, we can begin to commit to the necessary steps to resolving it. Sit with the moment of accepting the challenge and allow yourself to acknowledge the circumstance while committing to resolving it with a plan. It will not be easy, but you will not get there by ignoring the elephant in the room.

STEP 2: Shore up power and commit to keeping it going.

Collecting inner strength is necessary for our problem-solving journeys. Cultivating resiliency approaches and strategies for an extended amount of time will drain energy or resources. Consider where your energy, time, and resources are going towards and decide what you may need to modify, remove, or increase where necessary so that you can have the strength to keep going.

Think thoughtfully and intentionally about why you are deciding to do so. There will always be moments we are called to adjust strategies and approaches when necessary when dealing with a challenge. Do not give in to knee jerk reactions or solutions along with the challenges you face. Especially those that offer a “quick fix” or a “one solution solves all.” It may sound like a good idea now, but what is the real cost later? Part of cultivating resiliency requires us to decern when things are not working or identifying when we are successful at the intervention at hand. Developing resiliency is a marathon, not a sprint.

STEP 3: Imagine the new.

Dealing with adversity and change will require you to imagine a new reality or possibility. That means thinking about things differently than you may have in the past or considering new approaches, tools, or resources. Keeping an open perspective will allow you to easily identify effective approaches and solutions, whereas a negative or closed mindset can have you missing important opportunities or solutions.

Facing challenges head-on is never easy, and allowing yourself to take the path of least resistance will allow you to arrive at effective solutions much quicker. Think about what you expect to happen or how it will happen. You will be surprised at identifying potential self-sabotaging thinking in the process. Self-sabotaging thinking can lead you to eliminate possible effective solutions. Anything is always possible.

Do not forget, act, and execute!

For these stages to be effective, they require us to act on them and carry them out to completion. Taking intentional and consistent action is necessary on our resiliency journey. Without thoughtfully acting on effective problem-solving steps, we run the risk of reacting on autopilot, ignoring/worsening the situation, or end up cluttering our mind with information that is never acted upon.

Resiliency to adverse situations and circumstances is built throughout time and requires us to constantly check in with ourselves on dealing with them. We often tell ourselves stories about our past and present situations. Building resiliency allows us to strengthen our ability to imagine new endings for those stories so that we have a chance to change how we see and experience the future. We cannot control the things that happen to us, but we can control how we respond to it and what stories we tell ourselves about the meaning of it all.

Consider hiring a coach to assist you in building these skills further. Choosing to work with a coach with the right skills will allow you to become more resilient and successful when dealing with adversity and stress. A coach can help you become unstuck, help identify obstacles, and motivate you to successfully reach your goals with a clear plan.

Grab the free resiliency guide here and build on the skills necessary to create the life you dream of!

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Emily Rentas, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Change agent Emily Rentas is a leader in mental health, coaching, leadership development, operations, project, and non-profit management. Born and raised in the Bronx, New York, to immigrant parents of Dominican and Puerto Rican descent, Emily has navigated the cultural and economic systems and landscapes first- and second-generation immigrants are facing within the United States. She has been on a journey of counseling and mentoring clients and teams throughout her 10+ years within mental health and social services communities and organizations in New York City and the United States as a whole. She founded Paragon Solstice Inc. to help optimize and build resiliency in the lives, businesses, and organizations of those embarking on new journeys and transitions through their collective impact. Emily brings a wealth of knowledge and expertise in transformation and mindset development together with a passion for leadership and mindfulness into her coaching style. With this approach, Emily aims at helping individuals, businesses, and organizations to create sustainable solutions that will unlock their unique potential and impact.

Her mission: Guide individuals and businesses to create the keys necessary to open doors to bring visions and goals into creation.



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