10 Tips on How to Become Your Authentic, Bold Self
- Brainz Magazine
- May 8
- 6 min read
Updated: May 14
Written by Maxine Smith, Life Coach
Maxine Smith is a renowned career coach and mentor, best known for her impactful work within the corporate world. As the founder of Spirit Soul Solutions, an online coaching platform, she offers a wide range of life coaching services aimed at personal and professional development.
Have you ever wondered how some people look and seem so well put together? Have you questioned where you may have lost the plot completely on how to show up for yourself and others? Have your interactions of perspectives become questionable to the version you are becoming, and feeling a raging war within as you struggle to leap forward and feel stuck on a past version that is destroying you internally and out? Let's reveal and work towards your authenticity.
What is Authenticity to you?
Being authentic or becoming your authentic self means stripping naked and facing the truth of past versions of who you were to yourself and others, what no longer serves you, and who you now want to show up as for the betterment of yourself and to selflessly serve others.
What prompts this authenticity?
As you journey through life, each passing age provides wisdom into thought-provoking questions. What have I become, and who am I becoming? We evaluate our roadblocks and what keeps us there. We challenge our inner being to grow, not only in book knowledge but in seeking out truth and seeking divine rooting to leap forward.
The five questions to ask yourself
Where have I completely lost the plot? Why does it seem like what used to work in all areas of my life no longer serves my highest mental, emotional, spiritual and physical wellbeing?
Why am I constantly exhausted? We tend to people, please, boss please, friends and family please, because it's become our norm in the hopes that people will change. Or we do things out of routine when it drains us like a leaking toilet.
Why am I not satisfied? We achieve goal after goal, dream after dream, and that’s short-lived. We have wonderful social circles and support structures in place, but we have a constant dissatisfaction within our lives and can’t quite identify the root cause of this self-raising dough of turmoil.
What do I need to change? We are so used to being self-critical that we analyse everything around us, in our pasts and current and decide to unconsciously repeat the expired solutions and expect greater outcomes because we are the judge and the jury.
Who needs to change? The answer most of us ‘Realists’ think and say is not me as a person, because ‘I’ have worked through old patterns, limiting beliefs, self-sabotage, and the list goes on. Is it true?
Why isn't it working out this time? Yes, you have exhausted all options, changed approaches multiple times and yet still feel this empty lingering pain that cannot be cured with a shot of tequila and a beach holiday.
10 tips on how to become your authentic, bold self
1. Do introspection
Go within with no expectation or premeditated answers. Unclothe yourself from the outfits of I'm better off this way, this is who I am, take it or leave it attitude. Be brutally honest with yourself and the divine. Yes, this is a deeper level of unpacking those feelings, those secrets of your heart and facing yourself in the flesh, but letting your spirit take control.
2. Reflect on past versions of yourself
Be kind at this stage because what you have kept hidden that is unresolved will resurface, and you don't need to rehearse the show because the audience is long gone and buried. Instead, celebrate the lessons learnt, how much you’ve grown, changed for the better and express your gratitude for what you have now and where you come from.
3. Listen to what is not working
Most of us love the sound of our voices in our heads and out loud. It's not required at this point, please stop. When we listen with intent, we start to hear the silent whispers of what we already know but fear addressing because we honestly don't know how to. That's the beauty, you don't need the answers right there and then. Listen, pause, take a breath, then release. Ask yourself, have I heard this before from whom, does it have any truth to it, and is it coming from a place of love?
4. Release the rope of the tug of war
We hold on to our ‘I'm fine just the way I am’, certain things are just not meant for me, perception, even though we know we desire a difference in our lives. We cling so tightly to our ropes like a game of tug of war. No, it's okay, I can live without being at peace with what matters most in our lives, whatever it may be for you. Let it go because you, too, deserve all the desires of your heart.
5. Forgive yourself and others
This is like a curse phrase to so many people. Forgiveness is not easy, as we have to acknowledge what the pain & hurt were. However, what we at times fail to know is we’re all living this life for the first time and make mistakes along the way and by allowing ourselves to forgive, we heal physically, mentally, emotionally and the pay back is supernatural spiritual maturity and growth, whether we want to believe it or not. Try it and see how some of your ailments suddenly disappear.
6. Resolve conflict
It is quite simple to sweep things under the rug and play pretend, and we all live happily, secretly, and angrily with one another. This only creates greater animosity and resentment. Deal with conflict head-on with humility, empathy, self-awareness and allow yourself and others to process in a manner they know how to. We need to be mindful in our delivery and always keep in mind that ‘if it were me’, how would I want to be approached, addressed, understood and perceived. Then also let them be. There is a beautiful podcast by Mel Robbins, tune in and listen to ‘Let Them’. Mel Robbins: Let Them’
7. Take inventory
Identify what areas of your life are harmonious and flowing with peace, give thanks and outwardly express your gratitude. Then take stock of those areas you have identified that keep breaking, repeating old patterns, with trying to resolve them with the same old solutions. Write it down, put it up where you can see it and intently focus on them and how they make you feel. Write these down as well, then focus on what you want your desired outcome to look like.
8. Change and adapt
This is the grooming phase. You took stock and planned in the previous step. Now you need to map out or sketch what needs to happen next. Choose the opposite of what you usually say or do to resolve these. Do it scared, do it uncomfortably, and do it with faith, believing that it will work out positively for yourself without any preempted expectations.
9. Seek feedback
We often take on new tasks, projects, paths, or make decisions and wonder if we’re on the right track and especially when it's self-improvement, we want to know if we’re making a positive impact. Seek feedback from trusted sources. People whom you value and trust for their input in your life. Be it your coach, mentor, spouse, or friend.
10. Prioritise wellbeing
As you venture on this unknown journey, know you are loved and supported. Know that this is a marathon, and it will take time. Speak kindly to yourself, think humbly of yourself. Take breaks if it means solo travel or a night/day out with a friend or spouse. Invest in your hobbies and take care of your health (spiritual, mental, emotional & physical). Celebrate your wins, great and small and compliment yourself.
Be bold and be you
As you embark on this path, take back your power that’s within you. Be proud that you are willing to change today and reap the life rewards. You don't have to do it by yourself. Book a free 30-minute discovery call today. Let's work together to create your authentic, bold self.
Read more from Maxine Smith
Read more from Maxine Smith
Maxine Smith, Life Coach
Maxine Smith is the inspiring leader of Spirit Soul Solutions, an online coaching platform. Her own career challenges and the search for a place where she could thrive and grow led her to this path. Maxine's work is deeply rooted in transforming limiting beliefs and changing patterns that no longer serve her in all areas of life. She believes in continuous self-improvement and views herself as a work in progress, constantly evolving to help others do the same.
