Written by: Melitta Campbell, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Do you feel like a confident networker? Neither did I when I first started out. Then my Victory Formula changed everything.
“You are such a natural networker! I could never have your confidence!”
I feel amused and a little bit awkward when people tell me this kind of thing. The truth is that I’m an introvert, and in my childhood, I was labeled ‘The Shy Girl.’ But at the same time, I appreciate the acknowledgment of just how far I’ve come along my journey to build my confidence, so I pursue more of my life and business goals.
In the early stages of my career, networking events indeed made me feel like a little shy girl who wanted to hide behind her mum’s long plaid 70’s skirt, waiting for that blessed moment when I could finally go home and curl up under a blanket with a good book.
However, when I moved country and started from scratch, I realized no choice but to network to find friends and business connections. It was time to get over my fear of networking.
This network has subsequently been a powerful tool that has not supported my career and personal growth but later helped me launch and grow three businesses successfully.
I learned many important networking lessons over the last two decades. The catalyst behind them all was my Victory Formula. A framework I designed enabled me to rewrite the rules of engagement so that I could build connections in ways that suited my introverted nature. The formula has helped many introverted (and extraverted) networkers start meaningful business relationships with greater ease and joy.
Confident Networkers’ Lessons Number 1
There is always a learning curve.
My early attempts at networking were pretty disastrous. I would stumble over my words and generally feel like a rabbit caught in headlights.
I started to observe what other people did. But, as most of them appeared to feel so at ease as they moved from one conversation to the next, it didn’t really help me.
I even bought a few books to help me learn networking best-practice. It was great to understand what I should be doing finally, and many of the tips shared were helpful. But none of the books I read helped me prepare mentally for the challenge ahead of me.
Then one day, at a leadership training event, we were taught ‘self-coaching.’ We were encouraged to find a problem we were experiencing, then brainstorm solutions before categorizing them and making an action plan. That was the birth of my Victory Formula.
Confident Networkers’ Lessons Number 2
Implement the VICTORY Formula
The formula mapped out my way forward. It consists of seven elements:
V stands for vision. When mingling with strangers, understanding my bigger vision made me feel like it was worth the effort.
I is for intention. My vision helped me get intentional about mastering the skills I needed to succeed. Once networking became set as a clear priority, it cleared doubt from my path.
C means courage, which was often needed in the early stages of my networking journey. Over time, this courage gave way to confidence, which helped me stay in the game.
T stands for being True to myself. This was an important reminder not to be tempted to feel like I needed to be anyone other than myself. It’s only when you show up as your best self that you can be confident and start meaningful relationships.
O relates to the Obstacles that we all face when learning new skills. Being true to myself helped me plan to determine how I would respond to obstacles on my journey.
R is for Rules that guide my actions. These permitted me to grow at my own pace, to make mistakes and call them ‘fascinating,’ and to celebrate all my achievements no matter how small.
Finally, the Y reminds me that "Yes! I can do this."
The formula played a central role in my ability to learn, grow and start feeling more comfortable while networking. So much so, I’ve devoted half of my book ‘A Shy Girl’s Guide to Networking’ to sharing the formula with others who are looking to up-level their networking confidence.
Confident Networkers’ Lesson Number 3
Networking is a Three-Step Process.
Another big realization for me was that networking is a game of three parts. I discovered that it’s what you do before and after a networking event that really determines your levels of success. It’s not just a case of showing up with a pocket full of business cards.
Understanding the three-step process enabled me to break things down and master the art of networking bit by bit. This also helped me to see the results of each new action, which motivated me to take the next action, and so on.
You can learn more about these three stages in the Networking Success Checklist I created to guide my own actions, and now yours too!
Confident Networkers’ Lesson Number 4
Get out there and try.
As my own journey shows, mastering the art of networking can take time and courage, but with the help of the Victory Formula, you can accelerate your growth.
After all, no amount of theory can replace practical exercises, as much as we introverts might like to absorb all the learnings from books in the comfort of our own homes.
There is no shortcut. To master the skill of confident networking, you’ll need to get out there and try the lessons yourself.
To give you one final word of encouragement, networking can end up opening new universes to you and endless possibilities.
My network, for example, has enabled me to launch three businesses at zero cost and become an international public speaker, and now an author too. I met my mentor and publisher through a networking contact!
You never know where your next ‘Hello’ will take you in life, and that’s an exciting prospect!
If you are eager to improve your skills and enjoy building your networking confidence, all the knowledge and guidance you need is in Melitta’s highly actionable and inspiring new book: A Shy Girl’s Guide to Networking.
For more information, follow Melitta on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. You can also visit her website!
Melitta Campbell, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Melitta Campbell is a Business and Communication Coach focused on helping women confidently build and grow a profitable business that enables them to live their purpose and secure the balanced lifestyle they desire. She is also the best-selling author behind the ‘Shy Girl’ series of books for women in business. Starting with her advice on ‘Networking for Business Success,’ through the series, Melitta shares how she has turned to be a ‘shy girl’ into a quietly powerful advantage.
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