The Practice That Gave Me My Life Back at 82 and Helped Me Keep Doing What I Love
- May 8, 2025
- 3 min read
Updated: May 11, 2025
Written by Edward Gurowitz, Guest Writer
I just had my 82nd birthday. Thirty years ago, at 52, I couldn't wait to retire, and the low likelihood of my being able to do so was a constant source of stress. I learned about self-monitoring as a therapist and coach, and decided it was time to try some of my own medicine. At first, I didn't see much difference – I was angry, reactive all the time, followed by bouts of remorse. Nevertheless, I persisted in my practice and noticed that the time between reaction and awareness that I had been triggered got shorter, and the remorse much less as I realized the automaticity of my responses. Finally, I began to catch the reactions before they took over, before I acted on them. From then on, I've had more energy, more focus, I started writing (newspaper column, two books, articles like this one) and I'm still working not because I have to but because I love it.
Self-monitoring is, at its heart, self-awareness. Fritz Perls, the founder of Gestalt Therapy, said, "Awareness itself is curative." When we react, we are often in the throes of what Dan Goleman calls an "amygdala hijack." Self-monitoring as a regular practice allows us to catch the hijack before the amygdala takes over and mobilizes the body for fight, flight, freeze, or fawn (appease) responses. This creates a space between reaction and response when the pre-frontal cortex can intervene, and we recover the power of choice over our actions.
The journey of self-monitoring is not an easy one. It requires persistence and patience. Initially, the changes might seem insignificant, but over time, the benefits become apparent. The practice helps in shortening the time between reaction and awareness, reducing remorse, and eventually catching reactions before they take over. This leads to increased energy, focus, and a sense of control over one's actions.
Self-monitoring has been a game-changer for me. It has allowed me to continue working and enjoying my life even at the age of 82. It has given me the ability to manage my reactions, stay focused, and maintain my energy levels. The practice of self-monitoring is not just about controlling reactions; it's about understanding oneself better and making conscious choices. It's about creating a space between reaction and response, allowing the pre-frontal cortex to intervene and recover the power of choice.
Practical tips for self-monitoring
Start with awareness: Begin by paying attention to your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations. Notice when you feel triggered or reactive. This awareness is the first step towards self-monitoring.
Keep a journal: Writing down your experiences can help you track your progress and identify patterns in your reactions. Note the situations that trigger you and how you respond.
Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing, can help you stay present and calm. These practices can reduce the intensity of your reactions and create a space for thoughtful responses.
Set intentions: Before entering situations that you know might trigger you, set an intention to stay calm and composed. Remind yourself of your goal to monitor and manage your reactions.
Reflect and adjust: After a reactive episode, take time to reflect on what happened. Consider what you could do differently next time. This reflection helps you learn and grow from your experiences.
Seek support: Sometimes, talking to a therapist or coach can provide valuable insights and strategies for self-monitoring. Don't hesitate to seek professional help if needed.
Self-monitoring is a powerful tool for personal growth and self-awareness. It helps in managing reactions, reducing remorse, and increasing energy and focus. The journey might be challenging, but the benefits are worth the effort. As Fritz Perls said, "awareness itself is curative," and self-monitoring is the key to achieving that awareness.
Edward Gurowitz, Guest Writer
Ed Gurowitz is a seasoned coach, trainer, and consultant with over 40 years of experience. Based in Reno, Nevada, he has worked with Fortune 100 companies, startups, and non-profits, providing expertise in team building, leadership development, and strategy implementation.
Dr. Gurowitz holds a Ph.D. in Psychology from the University of Rochester and a B.A. in Psychology from Cornell University. He is the author of three books including his latest, Transformation: From Potential to Practice.
With a global perspective and a commitment to unlocking potential, Dr. Gurowitz brings wisdom and compassion to personal and organizational transformation.
