Teisha Rose, is a health and wellness mindset specialist, founder of Hurdle2Hope®, author of 'Life Interrupted' and host of the podcast ‘Wellbeing Interrupted’. Teisha uses her experience with multiple sclerosis and stage four breast cancer, along with social worker expertise, to empower individuals with chronic illness and their support network.
Waking up to the news of Shannen Doherty’s passing was devastating. My initial thoughts went back to my teenage years—how sad it is that both Dylan and Brenda from Beverly Hills 90210 have now passed. Then the reality hits. I too am living with Stage 4 breast cancer. A surreal fact even two years after diagnosis.
Facing the reality of stage 4 breast cancer
In February 2022, what started with a confirmed cancerous lump led to a gut-wrenching call. The afternoon before my scheduled mastectomy, the surgeon called to advise that my surgery had been cancelled. The phrases “there is no point,” “cancer has spread,” and “it’s now about managing your cancer” left me gasping for air. My stomach wasn’t just churning; it had gone into complete freefall, realising I was now facing Stage 4 breast cancer. The terms "incurable" or "terminal" dominate Google searches, and the statistics on survival rates are terrifying—I still refuse to give energy to these words or numbers.
Living with breast cancer introduces you to a new world. You realise how many people are affected by this disease. You also become more aware of those who die. It's not just about reading updates in Stage 4 breast cancer groups that another sister has passed; it's also about encountering news headlines that can stir deep sadness within you. Although the person being mourned isn’t personally known, you still feel a profound connection and a sense of loss. What becomes even more jarring are the headlines.
Challenging the language of illness
Unless you've entered the world of Stage 4 cancer, you may not realise how unsettling the language commonly used to report such deaths can be. Reading the news about Shannen Doherty, it was the headlines that described her 'battle' or 'fight' that felt particularly stark.
As Nicky Newman said in her final Instagram post announcing her death:
“If you’re reading this it means I have died. I made it 5 and a half years though, not bad for a stage 4 breastie ey. And none of this ‘she fought her battle nonsense’, I didn’t lose anything, the cancer eventually took over & that’s okay, we all knew this would happen.”
In living with an illness, the words "fight" and "battle" are often woven into the narrative. On the surface, these words might seem empowering, evoking images of courageous warriors. Yet, words carry energy and impact. They shape our experiences and our realities.
If a scan shows progression, does that mean you didn’t fight hard enough? Absolutely not. On those tough days when even the smallest actions feel monumental, does it mean you’re not trying hard enough? Again, absolutely not.
As an Executive Contributor for Brainz Magazine, I aim to use this platform to initiate a conversations. In this instance it’s not about calling out or embarrassing anyone using the 'battle' or 'fight' narrative, but to highlight its impact on those of us living with illnesses.
Embracing life beyond the diagnosis
I hadn’t fully understood the impact of the language surrounding illness until a particular moment of clarity. It was another reel on Nicky Newman’s Instagram, showing her being pushed around in a wheelchair while enjoying Disneyland in Paris, that served as my wake-up call.
You see, part of embracing life after my stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis involved a bold decision—moving to 100 acres of land and being surrounded by nature. Despite this exciting new adventure, I was initially hesitant to use a walker to explore our new home. Having been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1997 at the age of 22, I had long equated using a walker with letting MS "win." I thought it meant that somehow I had lost.
And that’s the power of this battle narrative. It stops us from making changes in our lives, as somehow we equate change with defeat. The more we all subscribe to this narrative, the more we stop ourselves from making changes that allow us to fully embrace life.
Transforming health narratives
This week has left me feeling a bit confused and emotional. I started question whether all I am doing with my business Hurdle2Hope®️ is futile. I began to think when I die, will those around me also say that I have lost the battle, that I succumbed to my fight?
But then I read beyond the headlines and realised the mind-blowing impact Shannen Doherty has had across the world. Not only raising awareness for stage 4 breast cancer but also encouraging us all to live fully. And that needs to be my focus.
So, I sit here writing this article, and later today I'll be planning upcoming episodes of my podcast 'Wellbeing Interrupted.' Instead of feeling deflated, I want to channel this feeling into continuing to challenge the conventional thinking around health and wellbeing, including how our choice of language can significantly influence our ability to live well.
And I leave you with this: For me, stage 4 breast cancer is a gift—a gift that I would happily return or exchange, but still a gift that puts life into perspective. It highlights what is truly important. You see, that is what winning looks like. Regardless of when or how we die, if we choose to live fully and embrace life, then we have not lost any battle, that’s for sure.
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Read more from Teisha Rose
Teisha Rose, Health and Wellness Mindset Specialist
Teisha Rose is an innovator in health and wellness mindset, transforming personal challenges with multiple sclerosis and stage four breast cancer into a platform for empowerment. As the founder of Hurdle2Hope®, author of 'Life Interrupted', and host of the 'Wellbeing Interrupted' podcast, she has developed the transformative Hurdle2Hope® Roadmap. This offers mindset insights and strategies not just for those living with chronic illness, but also for health professionals and caregivers, significantly enriching the global health and wellness community.
