Written by: Kim Ward, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The holiday season can be a challenging time for many, myself included. We tend to reminisce about loved ones who are no longer with us, stress about holiday shopping and obsess over the extra bills that are staring us in the face.
I want to explore the specific area of loss and how you can increase profitability in your business by addressing your subconscious triggers that keep you somber, isolated and just unengaged.
My sister was only 22 years old when she died by suicide, exactly one month after Christmas. Devastation was an understatement. When the following holiday season approached, I realized that I was filled with anxiety and the opposite of joy. My subconscious mind was doing everything in its power to remind me of the upcoming death anniversary.
I had programmed that traumatic experience in my whole being, so each and every season after her death was like a countdown for me. I relived every emotion, every memory and every detail. The idea of Christmas had now attached itself to a horrible and unexpected loss.
Seven years later, my mother chose to end her life just 3 days after Christmas.
This started my clock and countdown all over again. Each and every holiday no longer brought me joy. Instead, I was left with moments of daydreaming where mom would bust into my house with laughter asking me where my stuffed mushrooms were.
I hope that you haven’t endured this level of pain, trauma and suffering but I do know that you have memories and scars that haunt you.
Maybe you’ve lost a job or you were forced out of one, maybe you had an unexpected divorce thrown at you, maybe an unexpected illness.
When we get slapped with challenges and adversity around the holidays, I tend to believe that we retreat and kind of do nothing, waiting for it to blow over.
Staring at the calendar, knowing that I would have to soon relive every detail of the horrific death of both my sister and my mother less than a month a part from one another was too much, so here’s what I did.
Each day when my daughter went to school, I would come home and sink into the couch. I ignored my phone, avoided social media and binge watched a popular holiday channel. Maybe I was living vicariously through the stories or just trying to avoid my pain but by doing so I was failing my business.
Two weeks went by and I hadn’t reached out to anyone, hadn’t posted on social media, hadn’t written my list and something spoke to me. As I was laying on the couch I had asked myself “Who are you letting down by not showing up”?
Of course, the answer was obvious. I was hurting myself, my husband, our daughter and all of the people that needed me; the people that I could positively impact.
Are you okay with robbing them of a transformation that only you can offer through your personality, wisdom, skills and even your life stories and lessons? I wasn’t, so I made a decision.
It sounds simple, but everything that we do is just a decision. At that moment, I decided to get up off of that couch and look myself in the mirror, committing to do the hard work.
I took 3 steps to crawl out of that hole. Little by little I found myself back at my desk doing the income producing work and not letting my family down. I want that for you. The pain may never go away but you can work through the subconscious triggers and not allow them to hold their thumb over you.
As silly as they sound, here are my 3 steps. Take them and take them seriously. Give yourself some grace as you navigate through this process and the holidays. Nothing that we do is overnight, but it is over time if you’re willing to stick with it.
Step 1: Talk it out. Find a friend, a family member, a support group, etc. Talk therapy alone is about 82% effective and you will find that getting your thoughts and feelings off of your chest will do you a lot of good and relieve some of the stress and anxiety. This will free some mental space and give you an opportunity to focus on the tasks that need to get done and not avoided.
Step 2: Journal. When you write with pen and paper, you are activating more than 6 places in your brain. Just write. Do it consistently. The somberness will start to melt away and you will begin to step back into your power, instead of being held down.
Step 3: Develop a self-care routine that will give you some much needed attention. Many times our subconscious triggers also cause us to stop taking care of ourselves. Don’t give into that. Set your exercise routine or a spa experience in your calendar as if it was an appointment and honor that time and commitment. Making yourself a priority again will help lift your spirits and allow you to feel good, confident and just maybe ready to tackle the day.
Kim Ward, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Kim Ward, is a leader among driven entrepreneurs, helping them find their fire so they no longer feel defeated and make decisions that move them closer to their goals instead of sleepwalking through their day. After losing her sister and mother to suicide, and surviving an attempt of her own, Kim has dedicated herself to improving the quality of lives around her. She is the CEO of Katie's Mission, a nonprofit organization fighting to end the stigma around mental health and providing wrap-around services to those in need. Kim is a co-author in a 1 best-selling compilation book in 4 countries - "The Power of Yes. How Network Marketing Creates Dream Lives". Her mission: Help you get through challenges and adversity with a powerful truth that can help those around you.
