Why What Feels Right Isn't Always Helpful
- 4 days ago
- 7 min read
Jamee Culbertson integrates Taoist practices, the Alexander Technique, and spiritual healing for transformative experiences. She is a Senior Healing Tao Instructor teaching Tai Chi, Qigong, and Taoist meditations at the Universal Tao Boston School of Taoist Practices. Jamee is a teacher trainer certifying teachers in both disciplines.
What if lasting change does not begin with trying harder, but with seeing more clearly? The Alexander Technique offers a practical way to understand how perception, habit, and awareness shape our experience, and how learning to notice these patterns can open the door to profound change.
Just recently, I was reminded how quickly habit can shape perception. The other day, I stepped into an elevator on my way to the Gay Pride Parade in Boston. An elderly couple was in the elevator as well, a gentleman leaning against the wall and a woman looking at her phone. She said, “It’s so busy here today.”
I spoke up, “Many people are going to the gay pride march in Boston today.” She did not look up from her phone. Upon reflection, I noticed how I immediately thought she held disdain for gay pride, and I felt myself separate from her.
After what felt like a very long moment, she looked up from her phone, smiling, and said out loud, “Oh, the gay pride parade is happening in Boston today.” She said it as if she had just read it on her phone rather than having heard me tell her about it. There was no disdain in her discovery or remark. My judgment was totally based on my own past experience and not on the present reality. I’m glad I could recognize that. I felt my body soften, and I returned a smile.
We don't see the world as it is, we see it through ourselves
Have you ever been convinced someone was upset with you, only to discover later that they were simply distracted? Or perhaps you've tried to improve your posture, speak more confidently, stop a habit, or stay calm under pressure, only to find yourself doing exactly what you intended not to do.
Most of us assume that we experience reality directly. We believe we see what is there, feel what is happening, and respond accordingly.
Yet F. M. Alexander discovered something surprising: our perception of ourselves is often shaped more by habit than by present reality. He called this faulty sensory appreciation.
This does not mean our senses are defective. It means that familiar patterns of thinking, feeling, and reacting can become so normal that we mistake them for truth. What feels right may simply be what feels familiar.
Over time, these habits become the lens through which we experience ourselves and the world. The challenge is not that we have habits. The challenge is that we often do not realize we are looking through them.
Habit is more than repetition
Habit is intelligence that has stopped updating itself to present conditions. What once served us well can continue long after the circumstances that created it have disappeared. What feels right may simply be what feels familiar.
When most people think of habit, they think of repeated behaviors. The Alexander Technique points to something deeper. Habit is not merely repeated behavior; it is repeated interpretation. My system is trying to help me using old information.
Our nervous system learns to anticipate what experience means before experience is fully present. Eventually, these interpretations become so familiar that we stop recognizing them as learned responses. They become the lens through which all new experience is filtered.
A person who has been told for years that they are shy may continue to experience themselves that way long after the evidence suggests otherwise. Another may believe they have poor posture and spend years trying to "sit up straight," unknowingly creating more tension in the process.
The challenge is not that we have habits. The challenge is that we often cannot see the assumptions embedded within them.
In this sense, habit is intelligence that has stopped updating itself to present conditions. Because perception and action are deeply intertwined, habit is never only physical. It influences how we interpret situations, how we anticipate outcomes, and how we experience ourselves. We do not simply repeat movements. We repeat ways of perceiving.
Why trying harder often doesn't work
Many of us assume that change requires more effort. If something is not working, we try harder. If a habit persists, we apply more discipline. If we feel stuck, we push.
Yet effort alone often produces frustration because it operates within the very patterns we are trying to change. Alexander observed that people frequently use the same habitual responses to solve the problems those responses helped create.
Trying harder may strengthen a pattern rather than reveal it. This is one reason genuine change can feel elusive. We are attempting to solve the problem from inside the assumptions that created it.
Inhibition: The freedom not to repeat the familiar
One of Alexander's most important discoveries was what he called inhibition. The word is often misunderstood as stopping or pausing before action. In practice, it is something more subtle. Inhibition is the ability to notice a familiar response without immediately following it. It is the moment of freedom that appears when we become aware of a habit before fully committing to it. Not stopping. Not suppressing. Not forcing. Simply becoming available to another possibility.
This shift may be small, but it changes everything. It allows the nervous system to reorganize rather than automatically repeat what it already knows. The moment we become aware of a habitual pattern without immediately obeying it, something new becomes possible.
When interference falls away
When habitual patterns are not constantly reinforced, something remarkable begins to happen. Breathing adjusts naturally. Balance recalibrates. Movement becomes easier. Attention becomes clearer. What once felt like effort often reveals itself as unnecessary interference.
This does not mean becoming passive or doing nothing. Rather, it means discovering how much intelligent coordination is already present when we stop trying to control every aspect of experience. The Alexander Technique is not primarily about adding something new. It is often about removing what gets in the way.
What neuroscience is beginning to confirm
Modern neuroscience increasingly describes the nervous system as predictive. Rather than passively receiving information, the brain continuously generates expectations about what is likely to happen next. Perception is not simply taking in reality. It is an ongoing process of prediction and updating. When those predictions remain flexible, we adapt well. When they become rigid, we begin responding to expectations rather than to present circumstances.
Seen this way, learning is not merely the acquisition of new information. It is the discovery of where existing interpretations have become mistaken for reality. Consider someone learning the Alexander Technique. They may feel perfectly upright while actually pulling their head back, tightening the neck, and compressing the spine. When they discover a more coordinated way of organizing themselves, it often feels wrong at first. Not because it is wrong, but because their perception has adapted to the familiar pattern.
This was Alexander's great insight: feeling by itself cannot always be trusted when habit is involved. Faulty sensory appreciation does not mean our senses are defective. It means our interpretation of sensory information has been conditioned by habit. The system is not malfunctioning. It is relying on an outdated map.
The space within action
We often imagine that perception comes first and action follows. Real experience is rarely that simple. Perception and action continuously influence one another. The way we see affects how we move. The way we move affects how we see. What matters is not finding a perfect moment before action. What matters is becoming sensitive to the quality of attention within action itself. This sensitivity does not interrupt life. It changes how we participate in it.
Taoist wisdom and effortless order
The Taoist tradition points toward a remarkably similar understanding. As the Tao Te Ching states:
"The Tao does nothing, yet nothing is left undone."
This is not a call to inactivity; it points toward action without unnecessary interference. A tree does not strain to grow. A river does not force itself to flow. Living systems possess an inherent intelligence. When excessive control softens, a more natural order often emerges.
Change begins with curiosity
Most people approach change with judgment. They notice tension and try to get rid of it. They notice a habit and try to fix it. They notice discomfort and try to overcome it.
The Alexander Technique invites a different approach. Instead of asking, "How do I fix this?" we begin by asking, "What am I doing that contributes to this experience?" Curiosity often reveals possibilities that effort cannot.
Learning to see anew
Perhaps the greatest gift of the Alexander Technique is not improved posture, reduced tension, or greater ease of movement, although all of these may occur and are a welcome benefit. Its deeper gift is the possibility of seeing ourselves more clearly.
Most difficulty arises not from a lack of intelligence but from interference with it. Much of that interference comes from interpretations that have become so familiar we no longer recognize them as interpretations. We mistake our conclusions for reality, our expectations for perception, our habits for ourselves.
The good news is that perception can be educated. We can learn to notice our assumptions. We can learn to recognize when habit is speaking louder than present experience. We can become curious about reactions we once took for granted.
In Alexander's work, this is not achieved through force or self-improvement. It begins with observation. The moment we become aware of a habitual pattern of being without immediately following through with it, something new becomes possible. We discover we are not condemned to repeat the past. We can learn to see anew.
Read more from Jamee Culbertson
Jamee Culbertson, Senior Instructor, Teacher Trainer
Jamee is a Senior Instructor at the Universal Tao Boston School, teaching Tai Chi, Qigong, and Taoist meditation. With nearly 40 years of experience, she integrates Taoist practices, the Alexander Technique, and spiritual healing. She is an internationally certified Alexander Technique Instructor and teacher-trainer at the Boston Conservatory at Berklee. Jamee has taught at Harvard University, Mass General’s Home Base program for veterans, and community wellness events like Rosie’s Place. Her work blends ancient wisdom and modern techniques to support healing, balance, and self-awareness.
