Written by: Christina Henderson, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
"It takes a village," they say, to raise a child. It takes a community of support to surround that village and raise them up in the good times and the challenging times. Your peer support community is right before you if you ask, look, and listen. You create it for yourself.
It may include the family doctor that listens to what ails you or the next-door neighbor who is always there for your kids after school so you can work to pay the bills. It may be the parent you connect with in the hospital emergency room when your kids are going through something similar and need care or the mural artist whose creation makes you smile every time you pass by. Your yoga instructor, soccer coach, or hair stylist might also be a part of your support community. The key word here is community. You are connected to people daily, so what does your peer support community look like?
Everyone has a journey; no two are the same. Only some people will understand your journey, and that is okay. Surround yourself with people who have similar lived experiences. That is the key to creating a community of peer support.
Let me tell you a story. My twin boys were born 27 years ago, three months premature, weighing just over a pound each. I was airlifted to a hospital in a different city and province. I was a first-time mom and had no idea who to turn to or what to ask for. That didn't stop me from asking. The nurses were the first to offer me hope by helping me focus on what was strong with my boys instead of what was wrong. They encouraged me to care for myself and made me laugh when I needed it the most.
Then came my cousin through marriage who lived near the hospital. I had never met her until now, but she came every day I was in the hospital and brought me food, clothes, and comfort. She was the first one I saw after I delivered my boys—the first one to hold my hand and let me cry. From afar, my family called daily to give as much love and support as possible. They flew to meet the newest family members and offer much-needed respite. They knit blankets, bonnets, and booties for my boys that remain in their keepsake boxes today.
The other parents I met in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit became my most significant resource and source of support as we lifted each other up and held onto each other while our tiny babies fought to live. We understood each other's journey even if they were each our own. That shared experience became a stronghold, a community of peer support that lasted for years. A community of peer support is a layered creation. Depending on your circumstances, you may have a medical support layer, an education support layer, a specialist support layer, a family support layer, and a friend support layer. Together the layers are your community of peer support. You can call on one layer or several as you need them.
I often refer to my community of peer support as my tribe. They are the people that I can turn to as needed and often. They are the people in my community who understand my journey; they get me and want to help raise me up. They want to provide strength, guidance, and sometimes just a safe space for me to be heard and a soft place to land. What I know for sure is that I am never alone. Even when I think no one is listening, there always is. Always remember that. Your peer support community is right before you if you ask, look, and listen. You create it for yourself.
Complete this chart to clarify your internal and external supports.
Internal Supports ( your strength that help you cope) | External Supports ( people, strategies you rely on for support) |
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Christina Henderson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Christina is a leader in Peer Support coaching and facilitation. As the mom of 27-year-old sons who both have special needs and an educator for the past 18 years, Christina brings her lived experience and story to everything she does. She walks the talk and offers an authentic, purposeful experience to whomever she works with, whether it be parents, youth, educators, or corporate staff.
Christina is the owner of Peerspectives Consulting and Facilitation, a certified Peer Support Worker, and a certified Flourishing Educator, Wellness, and Relationship Coach. Christina moved into peer support and coaching as an extension of her passion for connecting people with the resources they need to thrive. Her mission is to help people focus on the strong, not the wrong.
