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How To Be Confident – Not Arrogant

Written by: Aimee Teesdale, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.


A few days ago, I found a note that I had written as a young girl around the age of 13.

It was a pep talk, to myself, in the form of a mixture of heart-based wisdom and demanding expectations.

There was one particular sentence amongst the scribbles that really jumped out at me. It said:

"Love yourself! But not too much. If you're not happy with yourself, then no-one else will be, and that's what you want."

There are 3 things that struck me simultaneously about what I'd written.

1) The fact that I felt the need to tell myself to love myself was confirmation I didn't at that time

2) That deep down, I already knew the secret to peace and success even at such a young age (only to forget it and rediscover it again at age 31)

3) That we are conditioned to believe that loving oneself 'too much' is a bad thing.

Even as adults, we use the phrase "s/he loves himself!" as a derogatory term denoting an arrogant individual instead of a positive compliment or achievement.

When I used to give public talks on how to increase confidence, I would regularly get people in the audience tell me: "But I don't want to be so confident that I look arrogant," as though arrogance sits on the same scale as, and a higher degree than confidence.

I now realize that this is not true.

Loving yourself more, and thus being more confident, will NOT make you arrogant if you are TRULY loving because arrogance is NOT a state of being caused by true love.

Arrogance comes from fear and is when a person feels the need to inflate their ego to compensate for their deep, hidden, unloving beliefs they actually hold about themselves.

In effect, they do NOT love themselves.

They are only pretending that they are (often even to themselves).

The more you truly love yourself, what happens, in fact, is that you become more secure, forgiving, authentic, compassionate, creative, service-orientated, and successful in your endeavors.

You joyfully pursue your passions and fulfill your life's purpose because you feel less afraid of things not working out.

You can create more financial security, freedom, and abundance because you are more focused on serving others since your needs are already met.

People including clients, romantic partners, friends, and collaborators - are magnetized towards you because you feel good to be around.

Your physical and mental health improves, and you are more resilient in the face of setbacks because you are not attached to any particular outcomes, objects, or others as a source of validation.

You attract golden opportunities, experience magical synchronicities, and experience more ease and flow to life because you start allowing a greater intelligence source to lead and guide you instead of YOU insisting on controlling everything.

And on top of all that:

You just feel GREAT, and life becomes a fun game to play.

How do I know? Because that's EXACTLY what's happened in my life, and in all of my client's lives too.

So, let's stop accusing arrogant people of "loving themselves" and instead have forgiveness and compassion for the fact that they are not, actually, loving themselves.

Let's encourage (true) self-love like we encourage eating more fruit and veg: it's REALLY good for you!

And let's start loving each other more, too.

Twenty years on, I've written myself a new pep-talk, one that maybe my future self will one day again look back on.

This time it says:

"Love yourself. Limitlessly."

And I am a champion for you to do the same.

You are warmly invited to: Fall In Love With You: a very special, free live masterclass on Wed 20 January 2021 in which I reveal my transformational 5D Method™ to becoming the person you would love to be and creating the life and business of your dreams. Click the link for more info & to register.

Connect with Aimee through her website or Instagram! Read more from Aimee!


Aimee Teesdale, Executive Contributor Brainz MagazineAimee Teesdale is an international six-figure success coach, speaker, author, podcast host, and digital nomad, living her dream life whilst enabling others to live theirs. Using her signature 5D Method™, Fearless Framework™ and Love.To.G.I.V.E Approach™, she enables service-based business owners and entrepreneurs to accelerate towards six-figure success and create financial security, freedom, and prosperity from doing only what they love faster than ever. Her ability to create such rapid transformational results with her clients is due to her personal experience overcoming 20 years of struggle, fear, and severely limiting beliefs. Discovering the secret to success - both for individuals and humanity - really is: less fear, more love.



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