From Projection to Presence – The Hidden Power of Vulnerability
- Jan 15
- 4 min read
Leonie Blackwell is the founder of Empowered Tapping® and a naturopath with over 30 years' experience in emotional wellbeing. She trains practitioners globally and empowers individuals through her Bwell Institute and personal growth community, the Tappers Tribe.
Have you ever had the realisation that if the people in your life had been able to sit in their own vulnerability, your world would have been very different? Sit with that thought for just a moment.
Imagine if they had been able to own their insecurity instead of masking it with criticism. Acknowledge their jealousy instead of undermining you. Or sit with their discomfort instead of shouting at you.
Imagine the difference in your life. Their avoidance might not have compounded your experience of heartache and pain.
Instead, you were left to navigate not only your pain, but also the unspoken, unprocessed emotions of those around you. Their unwillingness to feel their feelings became your burden to carry.
The cost of avoiding vulnerability
Most people are never taught to sit with vulnerability. Instead, they learn to avoid it, swallow it, project it, or disguise it. Vulnerability is labelled as weakness, something shameful that must be hidden at all costs.
Yet the truth is this: avoiding vulnerability doesn’t make it disappear. It leaks out. It turns into blame, control, rejection, denial, and dismissal. It erupts in passive-aggressive comments, cold silences, or disproportionate reactions.
For trauma survivors, this avoidance is especially devastating. It invalidates their pain. It creates isolation. It doubles the weight they already carry.
The difference between projection and presence
When we avoid vulnerability, we project it. We make someone else responsible for what we are unwilling to face in ourselves.
When we own vulnerability, we move into presence. We feel the insecurity, fear, jealousy, overwhelm, or discomfort, and we let it be ours to hold, without spewing it outward.
Presence transforms vulnerability from something hurtful into something connective. It opens the door to empathy, compassion, and truth.
Learning to sit with your vulnerability and choosing to act with compassion and empathy for the reality you are facing strengthens relationships.
Imagine if more people did the same, the ripple effects would be enormous.
Vulnerability in action
Owning vulnerability doesn’t mean wallowing in it or making it someone else’s problem. It means being willing to name what’s true in the moment:
“I feel insecure right now.”
“This situation is triggering uncomfortable feelings within me.”
“I notice I’m feeling jealous.”
These admissions, simple as they seem, change the dynamic completely. They remove the mask. They turn defensiveness into dialogue. They soften walls into bridges.
When we acknowledge vulnerability in ourselves, we permit others to do the same. That exchange is where intimacy, trust, and healing grow.
Why vulnerability feels so hard
We avoid vulnerability because it feels dangerous. For many, past experiences have reinforced the message that showing feelings leads to ridicule, rejection, or abandonment. So, we protect ourselves by staying on the surface.
But this “protection” is costly. It keeps us disconnected. It makes us reactive instead of responsive. It drives wedges where we most crave closeness.
Ironically, the very thing we fear being hurt becomes more likely when we refuse to sit with what we truly feel.
The hidden power of vulnerability
Vulnerability isn’t the enemy. It’s the birthplace of authenticity. It’s the seed of empathy. It’s the pathway to compassion.
If the people in your life had been willing to sit in their vulnerability, you may have felt more supported through your experiences. But their avoidance also teaches a deeper truth: you get to choose how you act. No matter how others behave, you can choose not to abandon your own feelings and not to project them onto others.
Instead, you can choose presence. You can meet your vulnerability with honesty, and from there act with compassion. It’s a two-way street. Self-compassion and compassion for others improve everyone’s sense of self.
Moving from projection to presence
If you want to begin practising this shift, here are a few gentle starting points:
Pause before reacting. Notice the emotion rising in you, is it fear, jealousy, insecurity, overwhelm, or discomfort? Name it silently before you act.
Own the “I.” Instead of deflecting with blame (“You make me feel small”), try “I’m feeling insecure right now.”
Sit with the feeling. Let the emotion exist without trying to fix it, avoid it, or project it. Vulnerability loses its sting when we make room for it.
Choose compassion. Once you’ve acknowledged your vulnerability, ask: How can I respond with empathy for both myself and the other person?
In closing
If more of us sat with our own vulnerability instead of avoiding it, our relationships, communities, and workplaces would be profoundly different. Individuals would feel supported rather than dismissed. Connections would deepen. Trust would grow.
The hidden power of vulnerability is this: when we move from projection to presence, we don’t just change our own lives, we change the world we touch.
Read more from Leonie Blackwell
Leonie Blackwell, Naturopath, Author & Teacher
Leonie Blackwell is a leader in emotional wellness, with over 30 years of experience as a naturopath and educator. She is the creator of Empowered Tapping® and founder of the Bwell Institute, offering accredited practitioner training and transformational personal development. Leonie has worked with thousands of clients, trained hundreds of students, and taught internationally, including trauma recovery programs for refugees. Her published works include Making Sense of the Insensible, The Box of Inner Secrets, and Accessing Your Inner Secrets. She is passionate about helping others live with authenticity, purpose, and joy.
