Four Damaging Effects of Toxic Secrecy
- Brainz Magazine
- Jun 12
- 4 min read
Written by Latasha Nicole Phillips, Life Purpose Coach
SoulFlwr LLC is a sacred service-oriented business with a focus on assisting those who come in contact with personal development progression with a focus on the self.
Here’s the reality. We all have chapters in our lives that we don’t read aloud. This is because society can be a cruel master toward those experiences. These experiences are a culmination of our mistakes, vices, and temptations. These behaviors not only place us in a bad collective light, but they can also damage our closest relationships, the ones we care deeply about, even permanently. Thus, we seek to protect ourselves (and others) by practicing secrecy. As a result, secrecy has profound roots within the human condition.
Still, secrecy itself is not the villain here. There are many situations where confidentiality is valid. In fact, the practice of secrecy is not only wise but even sacred. The problem arises when we use this practice to harbor things that are unhealthy for us, like trauma and abuse. Here are four ways that toxic secrets can have a damaging effect on you.
What is a toxic secret?
A secret is something that is consciously hidden from others. This can occur on an individual or collective level. These secrets become toxic (unhealthy) when the factors and intentions associated with them are in question. These factors include (but are not limited to) deception, abuse, betrayal, manipulation, infidelity, or even illegal activities. All of these examples have potentially long-term damaging consequences if allowed to remain hidden.
Although toxic secrets can involve others, they are an aspect of our shadow behaviors. This is why their potential impact is greatest on those who carry the secret. Here are the effects they can have on our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being.
Mental impact
New research has linked toxic secrecy to mental ailments such as anxiety disorders and depression. Depending on the impact of the secret, it can even create personality issues that lead to different forms of mental illness and post-traumatic stress disorder.
Emotional impact
The emotional impact of toxic secrets is interlinked with the mental impact. Our thoughts are the co-creators of our emotions. These thoughts signal an increase in energetic movement within our bodies, which informs our emotions to rise, making us aware of our inner discomfort.
Toxic secrets can potentially overwhelm us with emotion, depending on the magnitude of what has occurred. Guilt and shame are key indicators of a toxic secret. These cycles are perpetuated through our motivation to keep them hidden. We can also feel threatened when coerced into keeping a toxic secret due to forced consent. Abuse and trauma are examples of this experience. The damage, thus, parallels the mental impact.
Physical impact
Some of the first physical reactions we may have when encountering a toxic secret are associated with our fight, flight, or fawn responses. We may also feel an intense exhilaration that leads to addictions and other forms of self-sabotage. These two examples are ripe with physical reactions to a toxic secret, and that reaction is disease.
Heart disease, strokes, cancer, and even aneurysms can be consequences of managing this level of destruction to our physical health. And yes, it is not a matter of if but a matter of when. The toll of holding in toxicity is great. Our bodies are made to receive and release as a natural function. To hold onto something unhealthy for us allows it to spread throughout our physical bodies, seeking release. If not released, it will begin to create physical symptoms of illness. We can convince ourselves that the ailment is unassociated with carrying inner poison.
Time is not on our side when dealing with the physical impact of a toxic secret.
Spiritual impact
There is a sacredness that comes with secrecy within spirituality. In this capacity, secrecy can breed a sense of growth and belonging, especially if we are part of a community.
Things become imbalanced when “spiritual” secrets lack integrity, exclude others in a judgmental way, maliciously damage someone, promote isolation, or cause forms of trauma and abuse.
Many institutions practice toxic secrecy in these contexts. Cults are an excellent example of this taken to the extreme. As a result, things usually do not end well.
Conclusion
Regardless of why we hold secrets, we have a responsibility to ourselves (and many times to others) regarding how we show up in the world. Although secrets can be essential in many instances, toxic secrets are always a hazard to our overall well-being.
We encourage you to reflect with integrity and use your discernment when it comes to practicing secrecy. After all, it could be a matter of life and death.
Although we may be able to successfully harbor secrets, they can still hurt us significantly. Choose to be free of the negative impact of toxic secrecy by being open and honest about who you are, while remaining mindful of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
Then tell yourself the truth about any situation that may arise where secrecy could be utilized. Be diligent in this practice. It is the best way to protect yourself and all relationships that secrecy may impact.
Read more from Latasha Nicole Phillips
Latasha Nicole Phillips, Life Purpose Coach
Latasha Phillips & Shawn Cross are African American female leaders in mastery learning and meditation fields who assist others in personal development and self-improvement endeavours. They have two decades of experience with various tools and resources that they currently use to live lives of inner peace and fulfillment. They created Soulflwr LLC as a sacred service to all who are ready to heal their past and themselves.
