Complaining Is The Killer Of Joy
- Brainz Magazine
- May 25, 2023
- 3 min read
Written by: Myrto Mangrioti, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Do you ever find yourself complaining? Of course, you do because we all do. But are you ready to face the hard truth about complaining and what it does to you? (And what you can do to fix it.)
There're only two reasons you complain and they're both connected to the strengthening of your Ego:
The "Victim Identity" Ego
You complain because you believe life or someone is treating you unfairly. The more you focus on this, the more you'll attract situations to affirm it, and the stronger your victim identity will become. It doesn't matter if it involves negative feelings; the Ego just wants to feel strong. And complaining about how bad everything in your life is, does wonders on that!
The "I'm Superior Identity" Ego
You complain because you believe someone or something should change to align with your truth, wants and needs. You think you know better, and this makes you feel like you're a better person than others. You feel superior, and your Ego loves that.
Maybe your first instinct is denial. You tell yourself, "That's nonsense. I don't have an Ego. I'm neither a victim, nor do I have a superiority complex. I just say things as I see them. Why is this bad?". Let me suggest to you that it's your Ego talking! It can play devious tricks on you without you even realising it.
What if you accepted this idea without making a big deal out of it? Everyone has an Ego. But you're not your Ego! It’s just thoughts in your head. The question is, how do you tame it?
Separation and comparison help the Ego thrive. And it doesn't matter if it's in a "positive" or "negative" way.
The stronger the Ego, the more you feel disconnected from life and the less joy you experience.
Complaining is a great way to feed the Ego. It's just wasted, misdirected energy that can't create any meaningful or positive results.
What can you do?
1. First step is to catch yourself in the act.
Be present.
Notice your thoughts and the words about to come out of your mouth.
2. When faced with any situation, you're about to complain.
Stop.
Breathe.
Know you always have a choice.
3. Instead of complaining and reacting, you can decide how you want to respond in a constructive way:
What is the situation triggering in you? Maybe it’s something you need to work on yourself.
Is what you're thinking true or just in your imagination?
If it's true: Accept the isness of the moment because you can't change what is right now! It is what it is.
Practice love and understanding.
If something can be done: Take positive action without criticising or complaining.
Let go... be the space, be at peace.
Find one thing you're grateful for now.
Let go of complaining and embrace life! Every moment, choose to see the beauty around you. Focus your energy on how you can positively create instead of mindlessly negate.
Presence, connection, acceptance, spaciousness and gratitude weaken the Ego and open the door to a deeper knowing of who you are and what needs to be done. They are the ingredients for a more conscious, joyful and fulfilling life.
Myrto Mangrioti, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Myrto Mangrioti believes life is a learning playground that shouldn't be taken too seriously. Struggling with her "good girl" attitude all her life, she found peace by embracing it. That’s when she founded Loving Living to pursue her passion for helping people awaken to their true selves, enjoying their lives to the fullest by living in the present moment. Myrto is a certified Deep Coach, a Canfield Success Principles & Methodology Certified Trainer, and a No.1 International Best-Selling Amazon Author. Early morning, you can find her at the beach. She's vegan and loves nature. Meditation, yoga, music and cooking inspire and ground her. She lives by one word: EMBRACE… yourself, your life, the present moment.
