Written by: Dara Connolly, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
It’s been said that confidence is the driving force that makes your dreams come true. Sure, experience is important, but where you lack experience, you make up for it with confidence. As a confidence coach who has coached thousands, I can tell you confidence will take you farther in life than your education, background, or experience combined. How do you improve your confidence?
First and foremost, you must realize confidence is a choice. You can choose right now to become more confident.
In this short article, I will detail the 3 ways you can be more confident right now.
1. Increase your belief in yourself.
Most people think they have strong self-esteem and belief in themselves, but when life challenges them or difficulty arises, they are the first to put themselves down. Try this exercise: rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 on how much you believe in yourself right now. 1 is very low, and 10 is full of confidence. If you fall below a 6 or 7, your ability to achieve your goals and dreams will be limited.
Our minds can only achieve what we expect to happen. If you don’t believe in yourself, you won’t put the effort in to succeed.
For example, let’s say you want to lose 10 pounds. However, you constantly tell yourself you are “too weak” or you “need to eat a piece of chocolate daily.” These beliefs confirm that you don’t really believe you can lose the weight and you most likely won’t.
We all can push ourselves through setbacks and challenges. However, don’t try to rely solely on motivation –that will only frustrate you.
The most motivating factor of whether you will achieve something or not is whether you believe you will.
Most people blame their circumstances for their lack of accomplishment. The truth is, regardless of your income level, whether you quit college, or if you had a rough upbringing– the motivation to pursue through obstacles comes from believing in your ability not on external factors.
Start by changing the way you talk to yourself. Instead of “I’m a failure because I can’t do this”, say “I’m learning how to do this and will succeed next time.” When you believe you can accomplish amazing things you will!
2. Speak up when you need to.
How often do you hold back your opinions, beliefs, or questions to appear polite or agreeable? Confidence is not just about speaking up more, but about speaking up when you need to. If you find yourself saying “yes” when you mean “no” or are frustrated that you didn’t ask a question or state your opinion when you wanted to, you are holding back your voice which diminishes your confidence.
When we speak up it affirms that our voice is important and deserves to be heard. You cannot be a confident person if you do not express yourself.
Practice at your next social encounter and use your voice when you would normally hesitate and notice how differently you feel afterwards.
3. Push yourself to do something that challenges you every day.
Remember the dreams you had inside of you when you were a young child? Are you living them today?
Most of us let our dreams fade when we get caught in the busyness of life– but existing is not living. When you try new things and expand yourself outside your comfort zone your comfort zone expands. Here is something you can do right now: write down a list of 10 big dreams you have. No dream is too small or too big! Whatever it is write it down. Then post it somewhere you can see it every day. (Pro tip: You may want to keep it private to avoid family members or friends teasing you about your dream.) Next, think of one small step you can take to achieve it right now today.
You must take immediate action.
Want to hike the Dolomites? Join a local hiking group and begin with a 2-mile walk.
Want to write a book? Start a stories folder on your computer.
Dream of speaking on a stage but are extremely shy? Start a conversation with a stranger at your next Starbucks outing.
Think of one simple step that you can do right now towards your dream and do it. No procrastination allowed. Just do it.
Science tells us you are more likely to achieve your goals when you take one small immediate action towards it. Then tomorrow take another action. Before you know it, you will be moving through your comfort zone and what appeared so scary is now behind you. The ability to believe in yourself is the definition of self-confidence. What can you do right now to get you closer to your dreams?
The amount of confidence you have inside of you is dependent on your ability to act on these 3 tips. Begin right where you are. You can improve and expand your confidence and live a full, exciting, and happy life! Make the decision to believe in yourself, speak up when you need to, and challenge yourself every day.
Choose to be confident, it is the best investment you can make for your life.
These are just a few of the many tips I can teach you on how to live with confidence. Join my new Club for exclusive coaching content with me and other experts to take your confidence to another level.
And if you’ve read my article, I’d love to hear from you!
Dara Connolly, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Dara Connolly is the author of the new book Flip Your Fear and founder of PTC™– an award-winning confidence program. Dara was the ultimate juxtaposition – a Black-Belt martial artist and a lifelong timid wallflower filled with fear! She now helps individuals speak up with confidence and be more influential and impactful when speaking in front of an audience.
Dara is a TEDx speaker and nationally recognized expert in the field of confidence. She has been featured on FOX, CW, The Connect Show, The List Show, Dr. Laura, and other media outlets. Her latest book, Flip Your Fear is available on Amazon.
