Written by: Dale Darley, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise . As the last embers of this year die away and a new year awaits us, it is a time of reflection. I find myself contemplating the year with a mixture of fondness and dislike. Fondness because I have learned more about myself again. It's felt like a crash course in being human. And dislike because of what I have witnessed. I feel deeply and wish with all of my heart that I could add some magical herbs to my cauldron, stir it three times while dancing naked around the flames, and all life on Earth could be healed. If only it were that easy. So, even though this wasn't my favorite year. I have had worse. I imagine this is the same for many of you reading this. My 2018 was horrid. My spine fractured, and with other complications, I spent well over a year healing. I emerged stronger and discovered a level of sheer bloody-mindedness and resilience that certainly surprised me. These odd years force us out of our comfort zones, to declutter what does not serve us and ask what we want? Cue the Spice Girls telling us, 'I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want.' I'm ready to zig-a-zig ah. Are you? I feel right now, at least for me, that this is a powerful time to be thinking about what I want to manifest for the future. So let me ask you? What dreams do you have that you didn't realize in this last year? How can you let in your future heart's desires? Dreams, especially wild dreams, tell us a lot about who we are. The trouble is we can feel conditioned into having should and ought dreams that sound like they are the right dreams, but in reality, they only touch the surface. I would love to invite you to meet your wild inner child. The one with no filters on his or her imagination and ask what are your three wildest dreams. To make this work, you really do have to throw off the shackles and dance with the wildness within. Even if you are not visual, use your main communications style and let yourself be in the experience. Here are mine: To write a brilliant, first, bestselling novel which gets turned into a film and helps me to become rich beyond my wildest dreams. To fly in a spaceship around the Earth to witness it from all angles and perspectives. To sing on stage at Wembley, clad in rock chick leather gear, wowing the audience with the power and meaning of my songs. I can see and feel these clearly. Now in case, you think I'm incredibly shallow for desiring riches beyond my wildest dreams. Or a little dotty to think that I could fly around Earth in my lifetime, and I know you must be giggling at the rock chick because you have heard me singing to the dogs. Let me explain... This is where I find the juice that reveals what my wildest dreams really mean to me. Soon, I'll start to write my first novel. The person I want to become is more of a creative writer, a weaver of magical words that share deeper meaning. Flying around the Earth is about perspective, seeing the big picture, and humanity from all angles. But the rest is about how I can be of more service in the world. There is something that says to me, with more cash, I can help more people. I am saddened by what I have witnessed this year—people who can no longer sustain their business or job. People now have no money or benefits to put food on the table and pay the bills. Lives that have been torn apart by fear and isolation. And so many lives lost, from all kinds of things. I have two rescue dogs ; what about the lack of funds for the extra abandoned animals? Where I live, it's been tougher than ever for animal charities. I could go on , and there will be something that has touched your heart, I am sure. So, get in touch with your wild inner child and let it all out... Try it! Write down three of your wildest dreams, leave them, go for a walk, sleep on them and then look deeper. You will certainly find that the inner meaning of your dreams will reveal your purpose. Who do you want to become? What do you want to experience more of going forward? I want to become the weaver of stories who will inspire others to write to heal and then write to heal the world. My deepest desire and purpose is to touch many hearts with the alchemy of words. In doing so, I fulfill my purpose of being a better human in the service of others. What I want to experience is more kindness, compassion, and understanding in the world. What about you? For more information, please visit my website ! Read more from Dale ! Dale Darley, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Dale works with her clients to help them to discover the magic in their story through the power of writing, journaling, and energy work. Dale is an expert at getting your story out, finding the essence of who you are, what you want to become, and supporting you to get what you want through coaching and programs. She believes that writing heals, and her vision and mission is to create a community of people who find clarity, purpose, and meaning through their writing. That these people go on to inspire others to know what is possible in the world. Dale holds an MBA from The University of Glamorgan and an ILM Level 7 Executive Coaching certificate. She served in senior marketing management roles in the IT and manufacturing sectors before working for herself.

Written by: Maggie Perotin, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise . Achieving great things, such as growing your business, is never easy. The entrepreneurial roller coaster of ups and downs leaves room only for the most persistent, consistent, and dedicated out there. But the journey to your success can be quite simple. For me, simple always beats complicated, and that's why I'd like to share with you this 3-step framework. I’ve developed the below 3-Step Coaching Model that aligns with a simple framework of how to successfully grow a profitable business. I’m hoping that by sharing it with you, you too can take it, apply it, and achieve the results you want. Dream We all dream. It's a natural gift that no one teaches us. Since birth, we're curious and want to discover the world with this magical wonder in our eyes. And as we explore it, we start dreaming. We dream about places we want to go to, people we want to meet, a person we want to become, and the things we want to do. Then as adults, we have the privilege to transform the dreams into our Vision: a vision for ourselves, our business, our relationships. Such a vision becomes a basis for the next steps. But before I get there, there are two other things in this step you need. The first one is your mindset and the second leadership . Without the right mindset and self-leadership first, you’ll give up sooner than you think, or you’ll hinder your business growth because you cannot become a people’s leader without the ability to lead yourself first. And both: mindset and leadership are not static, once set and done things. They’re a journey of growth and self-improvement. So as you enter into 2021, take the time to think about what do you need to do to grow the mindset of the person you want to become. What areas do you improve on to create the results you want for yourself? Plan Once you have the Vision, it's time to Plan. If you're scared of planning, don't be. Planning is an exciting and creative process to put your dreams on a trajectory to become a reality. Let me give you this analogy first. There is nothing more exciting than planning a dream destination trip to Paris, Bali, or Hawaii, right? Planning your business growth is no different at all. Here are 3 things you need in both cases. The first one is your goals . They become your destination, especially when derived directly from your Vision. If the goals are your destination, then strategy and tactics become your roadmap to achieving them. So, let's go back to our exotic trip example. You pick Paris or Bali or Hawaii (yes, in 2021, this might be all allowed again!), then you create a strategy on how to finance it, who to go with, where you’re going to stay. Tactics are steps you’re going to take to implement your strategy, such as booking plane tickets and accommodation, telling whoever is going with you about it, packing, getting to the airport, etc. Can you now imagine how planning would work for our business? And for me, this is much more exciting than an exotic trip. Why? Because here, you create your future! If your goals are aligned with your Vision, you’re starting to fulfill your bigger purpose through planning . You're planning how to make a difference in your life and those you help. You're planning how to make the world a better place, one client at a time. Do Finally, we’ve arrived at the third step. What would your dreams and plans become if there was no doing following them? Doing is where the rest of the magic happens. It's here where the creative process you’ve started in planning comes to complete fruition. And as you’ve probably guessed, this step also consists of 3 parts: action, habits, and systems. First, action allows you to make your goals a reality with the help of strategies and tactics you’ve created. The right mindset and self-leadership are there to motivate you, push you and help you learn and improve as you go. Moreover, habits and systems make it easier altogether. Why? Because the collections of your daily habits and systems make the “hard work” easy, fun, and less laborious. They save time, energy, and effort. And that’s what we all want! Don’t we? They offer you the ease of doing, create a compounded power of progress, and ultimately add to your competitive advantage. As James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, wrote: “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” In Closing I hope that before 2020 goes away forever, and 2021 makes its entrance, you’ll take time to plan your business success. It’s so much fun to start creating your future results now! And if you’d like a step by step, walk through how to do it, connect with me. I have a great free training Design Your Success 2021 that I’ll happily share with you. Until then, I’d like to wish you Happy Holidays, and May You Realize Your Boldest Business and Personal Goals in 2021! Follow me on Facebook , Instagram and visit my website ! Read more from Maggie! Maggie Perotin, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Maggie Perotin is a business and leadership coach, helping entrepreneurs grow their businesses without the overwhelm so they can live the life they want. Through her DREAM-PLAN-DO coaching model, she helps her clients reach their potential and get results while maintaining balance in life. Maggie has over 13 years of coaching and leadership experience in the corporate world in various domains. She holds a Masters Degree in International Relations, Facility Management Administration designation, and currently pursuing an Executive MBA at Jack Welch Management Institute. Maggie uses all her knowledge and experience to help entrepreneurs be strategic and creative in building a successful business and brand that attract their ideal clients. She is passionate about spending quality time with her blended family with four kids in the Canadian nature, traveling, self-development, and healthy cuisine of the world.

Written by: Julie Allison, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Usually, on a Saturday, I would have been riding a Big Wheel across the rocky concrete sidewalk in popsicle-stained clothes or imprisoning fireflies in glass jars. I had no idea what I wanted to “be” when I grew up. But, on this Saturday afternoon, my older brother and I sat on the living room floor listening to my father read while the green shag carpet scratched my legs. Bedtime stories were routine, but a new book in the middle of a sunny Saturday afternoon felt important. So did our book, Girls Can Be Anything by Norma Klein. With floppy hair and an oversized lab coat costume, the main character, Adam Sobel asked his best friend, Marina, to bring him the stethoscope as he announced the rules for a game of hospital. “Girls are always nurses, and boys are always doctors,” Adam affirmed. “Why is that?” Marina asked in her bouncy pigtails and red dress. She wanted to be the doctor, too. “Good question,” I thought. I waited for my dad to read the answer. But, Dad kept reading. When Adam and Marina played airplane, Adam announced that he was the pilot. He told Marina to “walk around in back and give people drinks,” which she did. But, when she wanted to be the pilot, she left and went off to fly her own plane. “Dad, why does Julie get to fly the plane?” my brother interrupted. I was now playing the part of Marina, the foil to all of my brother’s plans. I looked up from the book as my brother sought an answer for this treasonous decision. Truthfully, I wasn’t interested in playing airplane or being the pilot on that day. I would have chosen to hop on my banana-seat bike and ride circles around the block, but his reaction drew me in. We expected my brother to have a seat in the cockpit. It was MY presence as a pilot that needed a book to explain. Outwardly, I straightened my back and smirked at my brother when dad replied that I could be anything I wanted to be. Inwardly, I felt the sting settle in. Why was my brother always focused on taking something away from me? In time, I would grow to wonder: Why didn’t Marina ask THAT question? Why is his freedom tied to limiting mine? If I was Marina, my brother, who was only ten months older than me, was my real-life Adam Sobel. When we played outside on those summer days, I always had to be the bad guy. Once, he caught me, handcuffed my wrists around the neighbor’s patio porch column, and took off to resume his play. I waited in silence for an eternity with my forearms pressed into the painted wood behind me. When I had to pee, I called for mom to bring the key. “For heaven’s sake,” she said when she unlocked me, but I showed no fear or anger… just pride that I had played my part well. Where was Marina then? How often would I morph myself to play their game? On another hot day, the boys took off their shirts and ran around bare-chested in the sun. I took mine off, too, until a neighborhood mom saw me through her kitchen window. She stepped outside in her ruffled yellow apron with a toddler on one hip and a hand on the other. “Girls have to keep their shirts on. Only boys can take them off.” I ran back inside and sat on the edge of my bed. “Girls have to keep their shirts on. Only boys can take them off.” I replayed the words in my mind as I tried to understand this rule. Did Marina know that her book was all wrong? It’s not just Adam Sobel who wants to be in charge. It’s the neighbor, too. It would take years for me to articulate what I then knew to be true. Women can play the part of Adam. I put my T-shirt back on and followed the rules of the game. Soon, we moved to a new block in a small town several hours away. Our red brick ranch home was wedged between the end of the cul de sac and the neighborhood grade school. I only had to squeeze between the evergreen bushes at the edge of the driveway to reach solitude and freedom on the playground and the lush green carpet of the open fields. But finding freedom when the boys were around was hard. They tossed worms down my shirt when the fields were muddy. They chased me on their bikes. Once, they surrounded me and demanded that I kiss a boy in my third-grade class, or they wouldn’t let me go. I stood there in the center of that circle, shaking my head until my mom peeked through the bushes to call me home for dinner. The boys rode off, but they would be back again on another day. When the boys picked teams for baseball, my brother assigned me to right field. “Yes!” I said as I skipped out to my position, surprised at his willingness to let me play the game. At the end of the inning, I ran to the dugout to line up for my turn to bat, only to learn a new twist to the rules: playing isn’t the same as batting. “You’re an all-time fielder,” my brother exclaimed and sent me back to right field. I tucked back through the bushes and plopped down at the kitchen table. “Why won’t he just let me play?” I complained to my mom. “Boys don’t like girls to be good at things meant for boys, and baseball is for boys,” Mom replied. “Why is that?” I could hear Marina ask. “That’s just the way it is.” Adam would have responded. My childhood self started to think that Adam was right. Who Wrote the Rules? Today, I want to go back to that Saturday afternoon on the shag carpet and ask questions. When Marina wants to be a doctor, why do BOTH she and Adam become doctors? When Marina wants to be president, why do they BOTH become presidents and hold a presidential dinner together? Does that mean girls can only play those parts when a boy doesn’t have to give up his? Why? When Marina flies her own plane, why isn’t Adam the flight attendant? He plays the role of co-pilot, but not the attendant. Instead, she makes the plane “self-service” with a “little machine in back” that dispenses drinks. Why? Does Adam not know how to serve drinks? What about other jobs, like teachers, florists, therapists… and bug catchers? Why weren’t Adam and Marina fighting over those jobs? Who decided that doctors, pilots, and presidents were the only jobs worth pursuing? Why do all of the coveted jobs require one person to reign over others like a king? Who made these rules? Perhaps the books should have been titled “Girls Can be Anything…as Long as They Follow the Rules.” Changing the Game In college, most of my professors were still men, but many of my classes were filled with women. We worked hard, followed the rules, and were on our way to becoming doctors, lawyers, accountants, and even pilots. Marina was still in my pocket, buried deep beneath the well-worn fabric of experience. For years, I would keep her hidden, running the tips of my fingers over her spunk, but never bringing her out to play. She collected the questions that still went unanswered. A few years after graduation, I took a job as an accounting supervisor working for a male boss in a male-dominated profession. Our relationship was strained from the beginning. He delegated work. I asked too many questions. He got angry and would stand behind my desk chair with his feet spread and his arms crossed, breathing down my neck. “Just do it, young lady.” “Because I said so.” For my performance review, he led me to the board room, closed the door, and offered me a seat in one of the soft leather chairs at the sleek wooden table. He sat at the head of the table and opened his thin folder. Like a litigator in court, he had come prepared. “You are intimidating to the men in the department.” Then, he paused and held my gaze as he waited for my reaction. I caught a glimmer of delight behind his eyes as if he had caught me sneaking into the kitchen after bedtime. My heart sped as he laid out his case with meeting dates, minutes, and feedback he had received from male co-workers on the floor. On a Tuesday in July, I suggested at the department meeting that we change a monthly process. On a Thursday in August, I questioned why I was given a task that had already been completed by another employee. “I’m sorry,” I interrupted. “I’m confused. Don’t you want your employees to bring up new ideas? Don’t you want me to try and save the department time by eliminating duplicate work?” “I want you to bring your ideas to me or another man in the department so that we can bring them up in the team meetings.” He spoke without a hint of reservation. Adam Sobel would have been proud. “Ahhhhhhhhhh!” I screamed in my head while my cheeks turned red. My heart hammered against the front of my chest. My underarms grew sticky. There was no point in pretending to be calm; I could hold back no longer. “You don’t get to tell me what to do.” My Marina-inspired rage boiled up and spilled out. “That’s NOT just the way it is!” “I don’t want to be your stewardess.” “I’m not your nurse.” “I am already everything. I’m done playing your game.” The meeting with Human Resources was uneventful. With her big blue eyes and red hair, the director sat behind her desk in her private office. I spoke openly. She listened with interest and empathy. Nothing could be done unless I filed an official complaint, but it would be his word against mine, and who wants to go up against Adam when the rules are in his favor. I resigned from the organization weeks later and had my exit interview with a female controller over lunch. Word got back to me days later that she was surprised and disappointed that I didn’t reveal any information about my boss or our department. Surely, she understood. I knew how to follow the rules, too. Sometimes it’s best to walk off the field if your own team doesn’t want you in the game. Finding the Freedom to Play my Own Game I wish I could say that was my last encounter with Adam Sobel or that I’ve always had the courage to confront him. More times than not, I’ve twisted myself into playing my role or simply walking away… leaving the next woman to deal with Adam. However, as an individual, Adam was never the only problem. Like my brother, the neighbor woman, my mother, my boss, and even myself, Adam was always just one part of a system. He played his part of command and control, and I played mine. I morphed myself, hid, and followed the rules of someone else’s game. “Why is that?” Marina taught me to ask. Now, almost fifty years later, I have my OWN answer… It’s hard to go against a system. It’s hard to be seen. It’s hard to take your shirt off when you know the neighbor will judge. It’s hard to stand at home plate and demand that someone give you a turn to bat. It’s hard not to internalize the expectations given by those in our lives who love us. It’s hard to break the rules. It’s hard to be engaged in a constant battle when there is always another Adam waiting in the wings. There are no easy solutions, but there are things we can do together to find freedom and disrupt the system: Develop our own self-esteem – The system thrives on selfless women; the more we prioritize our own interests with confidence, the freer we become. Fly a plane if that’s your dream, or ride your bike and capture the fireflies. Stop morphing ourselves – Adam isn’t going to change if we continue to play our defined roles and twist ourselves into other people. If we are ourselves, the world around us will be forced to adapt instead. Stop playing the role of Adam – We lose nothing by lifting someone else, so hire women, promote women, shop at their stores, and be less judgmental of women who live differently. If your neighbor takes off her shirt, look the other way. Own our strength and allow it to be seen – Marina does no good hidden in a pocket. Let her stomp around in public and ask, “Why is that?” whenever you get the chance. Take your turn to “bat” – Expect and demand to be given the same opportunities as Adam and ensure that other women on your teams have access to do the same. Allow women to be women – Freedom for women doesn’t come from getting to be a man; it comes from allowing us to be women. Let’s stop expecting women to function as men, especially in the workplace. Elevate roles labeled “feminine” – Women make great doctors and lawyers, but we need to start elevating and compensating ALL roles. Nurses are as important as doctors, especially when it comes to patient care. Break a few rules – If we want to live by our own rules, we have to start by breaking the old ones. If it feels uncomfortable to step out of line, imagine how uncomfortable your change will feel to Adam… and smile. Create new rules or go without – Rules are invisible boundaries. Every time we set a limitation, let’s make sure we understand who the boundary is serving. Stand in the center of the circle – Sometimes, action isn’t possible or safe, and all we can do is stand at the center of the circle and shake our heads “no.” Adam can still be found everywhere, waiving his book of rules and granting permission only when he sees fit. We can hand him the stethoscope or pull out the big wheel and wave to him as we fly past. It’s not easy. Peddling can get hard. But our legs will get stronger, and the path we carve will soon feel less like Adam’s and more like our own. We’ll breathe in the expanse of those lush open fields as we play our own game. Freedom doesn’t come from Adam. It comes from within. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn. and visit my website for more information! Read more from Allison! Julie Allison, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Julie is a passionate and experienced financial professional dedicated to helping women launch and manage financially sound companies. She believes that women's creative and collaborative approach makes them uniquely suited to mentor, guide, and lead. When women-owned businesses grow, so do their voices, influence, and communities. Julie has over twenty-five years of financial management experience inside major corporations working with marketing, manufacturing, and supply chain teams. She has learned first-hand the pitfalls of corporate greed and brings a holistic view of business success to her clients. Julie is the founder of Watch Her Grow, a company providing expert financial services to women-owned businesses.

Written by: Yogesh Osher, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Approaching the year's festivity period or the ‘silly season,’ I want to give you "Three Secret Keys" on how to cruise your way through this fun/challenging time while being and becoming even more empowered. I want to help you overcome the more than common problems that most people face with this time. Just to have a perspective, this ‘fun’ time of the year is also typically when suicide rates go up, and depression or anxiety kicks in too. So do these 3 secrets, make sure to thrive, and don't get bogged again in this time's typical familiar traps. If you keep at heart these 3 things that I will share, your whole festivity experience will be one of empowerment and joy. Let’s dive in! Secret No One: Balance — The overcoming of old triggers. This secret is the key to NOT getting stuck in the old triggers. So, how to do it? Firstly, you need to know what are the old triggers. Then by looking deeply into them, you’ll find the core idea or thought that is so painful and triggers the reaction. When you find that out, you’ll be a third of the way out from the trap. The second third is asking yourself, "Do I want to go there again?" And here is exactly where your new choice is born! Take your answer and turn this energy into your ability to see, feel, know and accept your emotional action while not reacting and choosing to act (step 3) differently this time! Let your choice come from your freedom of being who you are, being in your body in your embodied sense of self. Secret No Two: Boundaries — The self-protection method. When we know that certain things, or behaviors, or activities, or foods, or drinks, etc., are not good for us, we need to say NO. This is a very positive capacity! This may even be true for some conversations or interactions that we know produce only pain and suffering or regrets. It may also certainly be true to thinking patterns like excessive worry, or constant blame, or self-criticizing, for example. Changing these things can change your whole way of experiencing relationships and life! The power of NO is critical. Because without NO, there is no true YES. Learn to say no, and see how more respect and more appreciation comes your way. It's true that there may be some challenges to your new NO, but it will help you cement your choice and become clearer on who you are, even in the face of resistance or challenge. Secret No Three: Maturity — The ability to self soothe. The main difference between children to adults is that children have the constant external support of their caretakers while adults have the constant support of their inner self-care. Or, in other words, self-care. As long as we really or expect or even wish for that constant external support, we still have a childish approach. That doesn’t mean that we can't be loved or helped by parents or others, but it means that the attitude is more of a mature one to this support. It's not a dependency that disempowered me but gratitude that fulfills me. And the only way to achieve this fulfillment (note it is not pride) is with the ability and attitude of SELF-LOVE and SELF-CARE. In short, this secret is to learn how to be the parental figure for yourself. Yes, very empowering, very practical, sounds funny, but it actually works! I have seen lives transformed with this secret alone! I wish you a great festivity period and hope you will be the most empowered version of yourself throughout this period! To your empowered success! Yogesh Osher. For more information, visit https://www.livingtotalwellness.live/detoxpro. Read more from Yogesh! Yogesh Osher, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Yogesh Osher holds a Masters Degree in Gestalt Therapy. He is a highly skilled Gestalt therapist and group facilitator, a certified Wellness Coach and Yoga Teacher, and a Detox Practitioner (Dip. Natural Therapeutics). He is the founder of Living Total Wellness and a co-founder in the global naturopathic movement of Natural Yogic Treatments. In the past two decades, he has been studying, practicing, and teaching Zen, Tantra Yoga Meditation, Gestalt Therapy, and Functional Medicine. His life purpose is true wellness. Engaging a synergetic synthesis of east and west and drawing on methodologies, practices, and systems that bring real results. He currently offers online wellness programs integrating personal growth with detoxification and lifestyle changes. He brings a spiritual outlook to promote lasting transformations in the life of his clients. Using the gestalt process, self-empowerment, and practical wellness, Yogesh promotes a heartfelt integration and elevation of life as a whole.

After being chained to the same corporate job for close to 14 years and living with debt for most of her adult life, Brenda decided it was time to stop playing small. She changed her relationship with money and success (and more importantly, herself) to turn her passion into profit. Within 7 months of leaving her corporate job, she had built a successful 6-figure business. As a High-Performance Mindset Coach and the host of The Limitless Life podcast, Brenda helps other driven Women tap into the power of their subconscious minds so they can access their full manifesting potential. She does this by helping transform limiting beliefs and fears that create patterns of self-sabotage so they can create an abundance mindset and go from worry to wealth. You’re known as the High-Performance Mindset Coach and host of the Limitless Life Podcast. Can you tell the readers more about that and the work that you do? I help professionals stop self-sabotage, unblock their abundance mindset, and activate their manifesting capabilities. I do this by helping them transform their limiting beliefs and fears that are causing patterns of worry and self-sabotage; into creating new patterns of confidence and an abundance mindset which cultivates new levels of untapped wealth. We know you’re passionate about transforming limiting beliefs, self-sabotage, and Money mindset. Why do you have a passion for these topics, and why do you believe that people should focus on this? I am so passionate about what I do because I was the person who had a blocked abundance mindset. I had a horrible relationship with money and success, and I lived with a scarcity mindset for most of my life. I could make a lot of money, and then I would find ways to get rid of it, usually by taking care of other people because I was an over-giver. My worthiness was tied into my wealth in so many ways, and that includes staying in a job that I didn’t love because I was conditioned to believe that you get a good job and you stay there... no matter what. I believed that making money (and keeping it) had to be hard and stressful. I felt like my financial situation and the amount of money I could make was totally out of my control. And I don’t want other people to have to go through that . I don’t want them to be stuck in the pain of overwhelm. You can have all of the best systems and funnels in the world, but if you have beliefs that go against what you are trying to create, it will be a struggle. This is why Mindset work is SO important, we talk about being healthy and moving our bodies, but so few people focus on making the muscle between their ears more powerful. You have some very interesting hypnotherapy methods and techniques. Would you like to share some of that and how that can make a change in people's lives? It’s actually a wonderful tool to help calm the nervous system down. This is important because if you’re constantly stressed out and in fight or flight mode, your subconscious is not open to new suggestions (beliefs). Using hypnosis creates a deep state of relaxation . It distracts the conscious mind , and you have a sense of increased awareness and heightened suggestibility. This allows access to the subconscious mind through the imagination, which also produces the ability to experience thoughts and images as real. This is how we begin to transform beliefs and also create a bigger vision for manifestation. Our subconscious minds require repetition to transform a belief, and they will play on a loop the last thing you think about when you are falling asleep. Have you ever had a problem you couldn’t solve, and you go to bed thinking about it, and when you wake up, you have the answer. It’s cool, right? I take full advantage of that, and I create immersive hypnosis audio programs designed to be listened to at bedtime. Not only do they put you in a state of deep relaxation, but they also give us the ability to access your subconscious mind so we can transform beliefs that aren’t serving you so you can take new and empowering actions when you’re awake. How does it get any better than that? Having said that, Hypnosis is only one of the techniques I used. I am a very action-oriented Coach, and it’s important to understand that even with hypnosis, you still need to take action in other ways to fully tap into your potential and activate your manifesting capabilities. If you can mention the three most powerful lessons you learned so far as an experienced Mindset Coach and Entrepreneur, what would that be? Such a great question. If your mind can conceive it, you can achieve it, but success is only guaranteed based on our actions. I had to stop trying to do it all on my own. One of the most important lessons I have learned so far is to invest in myself and my business. Finding a Coach/Mentor who understands you and can help guide you to where you want to go. And also, understanding that you may outgrow them, so to speak, and you will work with different Coaches and Mentors throughout the years depending on what stage of business and personal growth you are in. Stop being so serious, and just be YOU. When I started, I thought I had to speak a certain way, act a certain way, or I wouldn’t be taken seriously. It was like I was a different person . The business started to feel forced and out of alignment. What are the greatest benefits your clients say they are getting from working with you? Well, aside from busting through income ceilings and plateaus, I am certain they would all agree that experiencing their level of confidence expand and seeing all areas of their lives transform is one of their greatest benefits. When you work on one area of life like the money mindset, the transformation creates a ripple outward into other areas of your life in beneficial ways. Finally, what do you have in front of you, and what’s your next big goal or project? I just created my new Abundance Mindset Quiz , and it accurately helps you discover your current Abundance Mindset. And applications are now open for the first round of my new Activate Your Abundance Mindset group coaching program, which starts January 11, 2021. I’m really excited about this because It’s a 6-month intimate group coaching experience where I lead people through an immersive, action-based transformation to unblock their abundance mindset. Connect with Brenda on her Instagram and her website , or c heck out The Limitless Life Po dcast ! Read more from B renda !

Written by: Maria-Paz Hornisch, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. The biggest mistake I see entrepreneurs making when they choose their email marketing platform is that they try to go for either the cheapest option or don’t do enough research beforehand, so they end up using a tool that doesn’t fit their business. This can be very frustrating, especially for solo entrepreneurs trying to do all the things in their businesses. It can lead to wrong strategic decisions, such as not wanting to use email marketing because “it’s hard” or “I don’t have the tech skills for this.” Email Marketing can be simple! With the right guidance and knowing the exact steps to take, you’ll be able to use this fantastic and helpful tool in your business and implement the strategies your business needs to grow even further. To choose the right Email Marketing Platform for your business, you need to ask yourself the following key questions: 1. What’s the current stage of my business? There are many email marketing platforms out there, but you need to make sure to use the one that fits your business. Are you a solo entrepreneur just starting? Are you using several platforms you want to integrate with email marketing? Have you been in business for years and need to change your email marketing platform to implement new and sophisticated marketing strategies? 2. Do I have a product or service-based business? Suppose you’re selling products within different categories and shipping methods. In that case, you need to use a sophisticated email marketing platform that can integrate to your website (or at least be able to connect them with an external provider, such as Zapier) and be able to send automated emails depending on the purchase or action a customer did on your website. On the other hand, if you have a service-based business and want to send out newsletters, deliver your freebies, and create automated email sequences, then a regular email marketing tool will do the work. 3. What’s the use I’m going to give to my email marketing platform? Make a list of all the requirements you and your business have for an email marketing platform, so you are precise when looking for all the options available. Do you want to send only email marketing campaigns and newsletters? Do you want to use it also as a CRM (customer relationship management) tool? Do you want to create automated workflows? Do you want to segment your subscribers? Add tags? Need to send post-purchase emails? 4. Which email marketing platform fits my needs? Take a look at the email marketing platforms out there and check if they offer the features you have written in your list (either in their free or paid plans). You’ll have a clearer view of the investment you need to make, and by comparing it to your budget, you can make a better and informed decision. Do you want to learn the best Email Marketing strategies and the great things it can help accomplish in your business? Register to my Free Masterclass. For more info, follow Maria-Paz on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn or visit her website. Read more from Maria-Paz! Maria-Paz Hornisch, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Maria-Paz Hornisch is the Business Coach & Digital Marketing Strategist behind The Digital Madl, dedicated to helping ambitious mompreneurs with branding and digital marketing strategies to create a rock-solid presence online and skyrocket sales. Maria-Paz is a bachelor in Business Administration and holds an MBA in Luxury Business from ISC Paris École de Commerce. For twelve years, she developed her career in Chile, France, and Germany, working for a Spanish multinational commercial bank and two German luxury and fashion e-commerce companies. Originally from Santiago de Chile, she now lives in Munich, Germany.

Written by: Lea Gerlock, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise . Have you ever had a day where everything seemed to go right? Where each part of your daily routine flowed smoothly without interruption? An enjoyable day can make you feel calm, centered, even joyful. And then, out of the blue, something negative sneaks up on you, and that’s it. Your mind grasps on tightly to the problem (and the feelings you feel as a result) and refuses to let go. Suddenly, you can no longer focus on, or be grateful for, the one hundred things that went well that day. All you can think about is the one thing that didn’t. The trigger that opens the door to a flood of negative emotions can be something different for all of us. Perhaps a disagreement with a friend, maybe the never-ending guilt that comes along with parenthood, or a missed deadline at work. Even something as insignificant as a small mistake can suddenly render you unable to focus on anything else but your negative feelings. This is where I step in and ask… "Just who is in charge here, you or your emotions?" Before you answer, I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is, the answer is you. You ARE in charge of how you feel. The bad news is you are not completely in charge of what happens in your world. There will be events that bring about an emotional reaction, and that part, you cannot control. However, you can certainly take charge of how you feel when things do go wrong. Despite the relentlessness of your negative emotions at times, you do not have to be a victim to them. As a Life Coach, I’ve helped many clients get past overwhelming emotions with a three-step process. I know it can feel impossible when you are in the thick of it. Still, I promise this is within your power. When you feel pushed around by your emotions, here are some tips to help you reclaim control: Step 1: Feel what you feel (Awareness) The first and most fundamental step is self-reflection. To take charge of your emotions, you must first identify what you are feeling. Emotions can be complex, sneaky things. Grief, for example, will often masquerade as anger until you expose it for what it is. The better you get at identifying how you are actually feeling, the better equipped you are to face it. Take out a notebook and start journaling. Don’t critique or edit your feelings; get them out on paper. Once you know what you are actually dealing with, practice things that encourage an actual mind-body experience. Many of us have developed unhealthy coping mechanisms to avoid our negative feelings. We numb out. We pretend it isn’t happening. So, when difficult emotions pop up, we have no idea how to handle them. Stop that. It is impossible to conquer your emotions if you avoid them entirely. They will still pop up, only by then you won’t have a clue what to do with them, having pretended they don’t exist for so long. Just feel it. Emotions can be many things, but one thing is for certain they are fluid and ever-changing. You are never stuck in a permanent state. You have to go through the bad ones to get to the good and vice versa. If you suspect you are numbing out, try to bring your mental and physical states together in harmony. Yoga, tai chi, or meditation are great tools to help you achieve this. Step 2: It is what it is (Acceptance) Back in the Stone Age, a good day meant survival. Emotions were not something to be numbed out or avoided because negative feelings were often directly connected to personal safety. In modern times, we no longer have that incentive to recognize our negative emotions and respond appropriately. However, that doesn’t mean we don’t still experience them. We have no idea how to deal with them anymore. We have gotten so accustomed to a life of comfort that when faced with difficult emotional situations, we balk at the thought of feeling that discomfort. However, we evolved as a species because of our ability to recognize and feel negative emotions. Our feelings of fear, anxiety, sadness, or frustration are not going anywhere. So, get comfortable with being uncomfortable sometimes. Life does not have to be perfect. We are wired for both the highs and the lows. Acceptance, rather than avoidance of your negative feelings, is the key to moving past them. Step 3: Take action where you can (Action) Once you have identified, experienced, and accepted your negative emotions for what they are, it is time to act. Action can take different forms for all of us. Maybe for you, action means a gratitude journal to remind you of the best parts of your life. When you are grateful, it is hard to become bogged down in negativity. Perhaps action means taking steps to surround yourself with positive people and influences that bring about balance to the difficult times. Maybe action means celebrating your small victories and treating yourself with the kindness you extend to others. No matter what action means in your life, one thing remains true. You and only you have the power to determine your state of mind. Maybe you cannot control the root cause of your negative feelings, but your emotional well being is within your domain. Do not avoid your feelings or try to change them. Just be as you are. In doing so, you put yourself back in the driver’s seat. Empower yourself with the knowledge that whatever you feel, you will handle it. And nothing lasts forever because you will not allow it to. You are stronger than you think. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Lea ! Lea Gerlock, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Lea Gerlock is the Founder and CEO of Personal Chapter, a life coaching and personal development empire focusing on mastering all transitions to step into one’s highest potential. As a divorced mom of 3 and recovering alcoholic, Lea was able to break through the fear, self-doubt, and uncertainty that comes with major transitions in life. After overcoming her own battles, Lea quickly learned that so many people struggle to navigate major and minor transitions. Her superpower is helping people transition into the next and very best chapter of their lives. When Lea is not working, she enjoys traveling, long walks on the beach, and spending time with her 3 amazing sons.

Written by: Samantha Touchais, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. I am currently sitting down to plan out the rest of December and the first quarter of next year for my business. I have already done this process, but I have been feeling overwhelmed with the amount of work I’ve given myself to do for the next couple of weeks, and I am getting to the point where I can’t see the forest for the trees. I have a huge list of things to get done, and I have three major goals that I am aiming for in the first quarter of next year. Each of those goals individually is a full-time job in itself. Yet, I have decided to aim for all three in my usual eternally optimistic fashion and believe I can achieve it. I like to encourage others to push themselves out of their comfort zone, and I believe that goals should be stretching. But I have learned a very important lesson over my years in business, and I would like to share it with you now. "There is no point in setting a goal when you don’t understand its purpose." Goals should feed into the overarching success you have planned for yourself and your business. If you are anything like me, you end up with a big ‘to do’ list, knowing that each thing in its own right will contribute to the business, but then do not know where to start. Instead of taking action and seeing those results, you keep finding more and more things to add to the list. This leads to overwhelm for me, as I see one big list of important things to do and realize that I do not have the time to do them all right now. This is where prioritization of goals comes into play, which can be achieved via two simple but very effective questions. The two key questions to ask yourself during any planning session. There are two questions I have asked myself today, which have not only helped with the overwhelm but have helped me gain clarity on the next steps that I need to take for my business. The first question is this: 1. What is most important to me right now? There is no right or wrong answer to this question, and it is obviously very personal but think about what you will be most satisfied with achieving and then view your goals and tasks through that lens. Perhaps you want to focus on bringing in more income to your business in the short term. Perhaps you want to focus on building your personal brand. Maybe you need to increase the credibility you want to build up around yourself and your business, or perhaps you need to create more content and assets to use in social media and for your email list. While all of those areas will be important for building a business and bringing you success, each of them requires different actions. There may, of course, be some overlap, but they are different goals that, although complementary, will require you to plan differently and accordingly. This question has really helped me clarify what I need to be doing over the next couple of weeks into January. The second question that has really helped me today is: 2. What is going to have the biggest impact on my business? The way I have handled this question is to break my tasks into short and medium-term. I have a coaching business, and so I must continue to connect with new and fresh audiences all the time while remaining loyal to my current audience. The biggest impact for me comes from taking on a new client, so I will now view my action list through that lens. How are you going to break your To-Do list down? What steps can you take now that will impact your business in the short and medium-term? By getting clear, you get in control, which is the best feeling at the end of a long and difficult year. You can find Samantha on her website , wellbeingseries, and LinkedIn ! Read more from Samantha ! Samantha Touchais, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Samantha Touchais is a Business and Mindset Coach helping women create a safe and secure path to launching their dream business by providing them with the support and tools to make it a success. She has over 20 years of marketing and strategy experience working for large international companies worldwide. Her love of how the mind works and creating the right mindset for success led her into coaching. She lives and breathes marketing and mindset and loves sharing her learnings with others. Author of four books and the creator of the Well Being Series (a collection of apps and books that provide meditations and affirmations for well-being based on the latest neuro-science), she loves exploring Europe, where she has been for the last 14 years, but misses the beaches of her native Australia.

Mags is a story coach, impact co-creator, and the founder of House of Hives. She helps female entrepreneurs and change-makers use their personal stories in their business, bridging the gap between emotive storytelling and strategic marketing. Together with developmental editor, Karina Asti, and event strategist, Ana Gallo, she helps women co-create books and collaborative online summits to empower themselves and their brand. Why are you so drawn to stories? I've been a storyteller for as long as I can remember. I have a little framed note on my desk that says 'Oma' (the Dutch word for grandmother). It's my first piece of writing and is dated when I was three. I remember loving writing assignments in school and being praised for my efforts, too. I loved stories and was always reading. Many a night, my parents found me in bed, face-planted in the middle of my book because I would read to the point of exhaustion. In high school, I was given an art assignment to create a picture book. I wrote a fairy tale about a storytelling monster that brought together two rivaling kingdoms (and I think there was a royal wedding too, because I was still young and didn't know what the patriarchy was yet). The book was massive! I made it on 100 x 75 cm cardboard. My teacher loved it and scored me 11 out of 10. As much as I loved stories, it wasn't until later that I realized the power of storytelling and the way that stories both define and change the world and our lives. So, when did you become aware of the power of stories? In 2013, I co-founded SwanWaters, a platform to support survivors of emotional abuse in rebuilding their lives. That's when stories became an integral part of my life, even as we discussed the platform and decided on its name. We selected the story of The Ugly Duckling as the inspiration for the website. The journey from outcast to winner seemed such an effective parallel to the journey from victim to survivor. However, the story was even more relevant than I first realized. You see, in most fairy tales, the hero has to pass a test, or overcome their shortcomings, slay the dragon, learn humility ... that kind of thing. The Ugly Duckling, however, doesn't have to do anything to become a swan. He was always a swan; all he needed to do was grow into himself. As I recounted my childhood and shared my healing journey, I gained confidence, built stronger relationships, learned to set boundaries ... the list goes on. Slowly but surely, I started growing my swan wings. This work, as well as my own healing, made me realize that so much of what I was struggling with in life tied into the stories I was told and was continuing to tell myself. I began to understand that many of the ideas I had about myself were just a projection of my family's trauma and toxicity. There was nothing innately wrong with me, no matter how hard my parents had tried to convince me otherwise. And it wasn't just the stories that came from my abusive family life, but also the stories reflected in society. So much of my journey can really be summarised as me changing the narrative in my own head; I could feel myself return to a truer version of myself. So many of us are constantly trying to bully ourselves into better versions of ourselves. When thinking about that promotion we want, we usually work ourselves to the bone, because that is the story we know: hard work and personal sacrifice is a requirement for professional success. Or we go through diet after diet, beauty treatment after beauty treatment, because we are programmed to believe that we are only worthy of love and acceptance if we fit a certain definition of physical perfection. All of us are constantly living and reliving the stories in our heads, and it often means we are playing a lot smaller than we are capable of. How did you go from storyteller to story coach? In 2019 I started to feel a need to move away a little from the really hardcore trauma work I was doing. I was not put on this earth to hold space for that, and I began to notice the effect it had on me. It was hard work, and the people who are capable of doing that work need to be celebrated as heroes, honestly! So, I started working with people who were a little further on their journeys of self-discovery and started teaching about self-compassion and value-driven decision making. Many of the people I spoke with were women; many of them entrepreneurs ready to change the world. Often, we ended up talking about the stories they were telling themselves and about ways they could share their personal journeys with their audiences. So, when 2020 came around, I, like many, was asked by the Universe to reinvent myself. As I started mapping out my next moves, my thoughts centered around the joy I felt in helping people reframe and tell their stories. I liked working with people on vulnerability, visibility, and self-esteem. It made sense then, to focus my work around those topics. As I was trying to outline my new business, my vision kept growing. I could see how the women I was supporting in their business were often supporting women through their work as well. That's where the idea of Female Empowerment Squared came from. I wanted House of Hives to empower women, and I knew I couldn't do that all by myself. By then, I had experienced how lonely solo entrepreneurship can get, and I knew I functioned a lot better and could be much more creative when I worked with other people. So, I approached some of the amazing women I had met at the fabulous wellness-first co-working space in The Hague, the Netherlands (honestly, if you are ever there, check out FloLab!). I like to think that I asked them to join House of Hives, but they like to say I told them. Whichever way it happened, here we are now with House of Hives, supporting women to tell their stories. How do you support women in their storytelling? First of all, we create platforms where they can come together and tell their stories. Not just to each other, but to the combined audiences of everyone involved. We organize collaborative online summits where speakers all submit a pre-recorded presentation around a central theme. We also publish co-authored books, where around 20 authors each submit a chapter of the book. By promoting together, they are well-positioned to reach the best-seller list on Amazon. Being a best-selling author really opens doors for an entrepreneur and adds authority to their brand. The elements of co-creation are important to us; collaboration is one of our core values (the others are vulnerability and female empowerment, in case you were wondering). So, take the idea of collaborative marketing. By promoting a summit or a book to everyone's audience, the stories suddenly reach so many more people. We all have people in our audience who are interested in us or what we do but are not quite our ideal client, or that we just don't quite vibe with. They may, however, be ready to work with one of the other entrepreneurs in the group. This is how we can spread the word about our work and connect to new audiences that may be interested in our services. Why do you think it’s so important that women’s stories are shared specifically? For centuries we've been listening to stories about women that are less than flattering. We're irrational, hysterical, untrustworthy, manipulative shrews who are nothing without a ring on our finger! At least, if we believe mainstream female representation. Many women are struggling because of all these preconceived ideas we have about what it is to be a woman. But these notions are toxic to everyone, not just women. That’s because the stories that society integrates into reality inform the stories we tell ourselves about our worth. So, when women tell their own stories, we can change the societal female narrative. And changing the narrative means that we can change how future generations perceive themselves and their place in the world. Follow Mags on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and visit her website for more information!

This post is sponsored. Having the correct leveling feet for machinery may be the most value enriching investment a business can make. Leveling feet for industrial use give business owners peace of mind from costly liabilities that may otherwise pop up. On top of that, by having a sturdy base for equipment, a business can expect to have their products last longer and run more efficiently. Those working in the food industry swear by leveling feet, and it is with good reason. They can make a sanitation process much more efficient and will also add extra durability to costly equipment. For those who may be curious about how leveling feet are beneficial for industrial use, continue to read on. How Do Leveling Feet Work? Leveling feet for industrial use act as the stabilizers for any processing equipment involved in a processing factory. Sometimes floors are not truly level. Therefore, leveling devices can help keep equipment in place and on a straight level. Leveling feet are composed of a footpad and a threaded shaft. The shaft comes with a female and male mount to meet the needs of the machine they are attached to. Once secure, the leveling foot will provide a firm base for its equipment and make them accurately level. While that may not seem like a big deal, this can prevent vibrations from damaging floors and equipment, or bacteria from contaminating machinery. They are an essential piece for your appliances. What Machines Need Leveling Feet? At times, industrial machines need to generate significant amounts of power to function. One of the effects generated as a result of this power could be vibrations. If machinery is not stabilized and level, it can come loose and be extremely dangerous. It may even lead to out-of-control machinery that could seriously hurt someone. So, it should come as no surprise that almost any surface that is not level can benefit from leveling feet. Having a properly level surface will improve efficiency and reduce miscalculation. Since leveling feet come in all shapes and sizes, it is easy to find the right leveling feet for all appliances. Which Leveling Mount is Right for Us? Finding the right leveling mount will depend on your needs. Certain heavy-duty leveling feet include features such as vibration reduction, swiveling capabilities, adjustable height, load amount, material, and more. Each leveling pad will need to be the appropriate fit for the machinery it is used for. Therefore, it is particularly important to know what you need. One example would be adjustable glides. These leveling feet are great if your appliance is small and needs to be moved occasionally. They hold a lighter capacity, come with a rubber foot pad, and are usually non-skid to prevent damage. Another example would be for those in the food industry who may need leveling feet that are sanitary. Therefore, hygienic leveling feet using stainless steel material would help to prevent bacteria and mold from forming. Keep in mind that these are basic and broad overviews. To find the correct leveling feet for your industrial use, please seek out professional advice. Are Leveling Feet Sanitary? This may be the most important question to answer for those in the food industry. If a business is looking for hygienic leveling feet, they will need to search a little bit more in-depth. The truth is, not all leveling feet are sanitary. By investing in the right product, businesses will give themselves defense from contamination, malfunctions, accidents, and much more. Therefore, it is of the utmost importance for those working in the food industry to use stainless steel leveling feet. On top of that, only some manufacturers have certified USDA certification. Anyone looking in the food industry should make those two credentials their top requirement.

Written by: Nancy Elliott , Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. The idea that communication is the key to a successful relationship is the most commonly held ‘myth’ circulated worldwide by relationship experts. As a result, this ‘myth’ has become deeply embedded within the ‘Psychology of relating.’ Unfortunately, this means experts in the field take a myopic view on what tools are critical for cultivating a loving and successful long-term relationship. For over 10 years, I have been an accredited Psychoanalytic Psychotherapist in Private Practice; my specialization is working with women, and I love my job. Day in, day out, I watch as my clients sit opposite me, utterly crushed and totally overcome with despair. All because they have a core belief, whether conscious or unconscious, that their relationship must be over if the communication has broken down or is lacking in certain areas. I remain steadfastly optimistic and explain to my clients at this point that sometimes, the breakdown of communication is precisely what a relationship might need to grow to its next level. I recommend that they reframe the meaning that they are giving to this issue. Perhaps, the conflicts they are experiencing around communication indicate that the relationship is trying to reconfigure itself anew and requires that the individuals work towards adjusting themselves accordingly. In her influential book ‘Women Who Run With The Wolves’ Jungian Psychoanalyst Clarissa Pinkola Estes describes how fundamental it is to accept the life/death cycle in our relationships. “If one wishes to be fed for life, one must face and develop a relationship with the Life/Death/Life nature. When we have that, we are no longer bumbling around fishing for fantasies, but are made wise about the necessary deaths and startling births that create true relationships”. I too, was once held under the spell of the ‘communication myth’ and was initially counseling my clients to try to ‘talk it over’ in various ways. It wasn’t until I became a more seasoned clinician and gained more experience in my own relationships that I started to see the flaws in the idea that communication is the key to a good relationship. I realized that many people I knew had a deep love and respect for each other but just couldn’t seem to see eye to eye on some or many things. While this was causing conflict and a stuckness for them, it was by no means an indication that the relationship lacked love or the ingredients to make it long term. These relationships were far from over, I thought. There must be another way to move past the blocks presenting themselves in relationships due to a lack of communication and the meaning we are giving it. In the end, it was a combination of the work I did in my clinical practice, the failures and successes in my own relationships, along with the research evidence I gathered over the years, that enabled me to identify a mismatch between how effective this ‘communication is key myth’ was, in actually resolving the challenges we face around communication breakdowns in our relationships; and, what tools are actually working in the lives of people, to effectively help them transcend their particular issues around communicating with their loved ones. It became clear that we had to ditch the idea that our relationship health is hinged on our ability to communicate with our partner. The fact is, there are some issues that no amount of well-meaning smart talk between two people who love each other can resolve or surmount. Ask anyone who’s in a long-term relationship. This is because relationships are enormously complex. Wherever two disparate elements are attempting a long term merger or synthesis, complications will arise. Such an emphasis on communication as the fulcrum of our relational success is, therefore, an oversimplification. It is also dangerous and misleading. Want the good news? There is a way to transcend the differences inherent in our relationships without good communication, and that is through good old fashioned love. I mean, the Unconditional kind of love. Now, take a deep breath, channel Joe cocker, and repeat after me, “love lifts us where we belong." I admit, unconditional love is a rather vague and sweeping method to apply as a concrete technique to one's relationship problems. So, let us get specific. If communication is not the key to a successful relationship, then what exactly is it? “The most critical tool necessary for a relationship to succeed longterm is Acceptance. Acceptance is the first step towards unconditional love. Of oneself and of others." Unlike depending on the prospect of good communication with those we love, acceptance doesn’t seek resolution or understanding from the other. It is an inside job. Now, this is really rather prudent because, let’s face it, we can’t control a single thing that others will do, think or feel about us and vice versa. We can’t change anyone. We cannot control whether those we love can respond to our needs adequately or to what degree they have the emotional language we require to feel sufficiently loved or acknowledged by them. We are powerless in this regard. Acceptance, on the other hand, gives us total power. It is the stance that enables us to love unconditionally. We can then emotionally detach from investing too heavily in how those we love behave and love them anyway. Think about a parent's love for their child. Acceptance puts us in the driving seat of our own emotions and feelings. This means we get to love the people we love just the way they are, which is precisely how it should be. Plus, we get to be really kind to ourselves by not being consistently wounded when someone we love doesn’t want to do things our way. Remember, it’s never personal. Now take a deep breath, channel Barry White, and repeat after me. “Don’t go changing, to try and please me. I love you just the way you are." For more information, follow Nancy on Facebook , LinkedIn and visit her website ! Nancy Elliott, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Nancy Elliott is a leading Single women’s influencer specializing in relationships. She is a high performing 1-1 and group Coach offering programs ranging from 3 months to 1 year. Nancy's childhood was shaped by 3 generations of women who struggled with low self-worth and co-dependency. She inherited these traits and struggled with relationships. Determined to break this family cycle, Nancy created strategies, tools, and techniques to dramatically enhance and cultivate a strong and loving relationship with herself. She has since dedicated her life to helping women deepen self-love and self-worth; also to deepen wisdom and expand their capacity to love and be loved. Nancy says "When a woman releases egoic structures of grandiosity or victimization, she experiences a psychic and somatic shift, from victimized or traumatized self, to an intentional and generative relationship with herself. She will automatically begin to show up powerfully; with new stronger boundaries. This is when the magic begins, from this deeper center, and now she can create the extraordinary relationships she always knew she was capable of” And so it is.

Written by: Linda Evans , Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Dear parents of teens and young adults, This is an open letter from a college career advisor. I've worked with thousands of your children in my decade of working in higher education at 5 universities with students from every group of majors (liberal arts, STEM, business, social work, pre-health). Many of them are brimming with anxiety and shame. I hate to break this to you, but you are often the source of their anxiety and shame because they feel they cannot meet your expectations. I spend considerable time correcting the beliefs and mindsets they learned from you. I’m not saying you should lower your expectations, but they should be based on current reality. Look, I know you mean well. Of course, you want your children to have the utmost success and happiness in life! But your good intentions are sometimes misguided or outdated. What worked for your generation may not work for your Gen Z children, and what works for Gen Z will likely not work for their children. I want to help you debunk the myths about college and careers that are not true anymore and are not serving your children, assuming that you also want them to have authentically meaningful lives and not just stable jobs that will keep them from living rent-free in your basement. From my years of experience working “in the trenches” with college students and constantly working on my own professional development by attending conferences, reading articles, viewing webinars, and consulting with colleagues, I have compiled some of the most common myths I deal with and the truths to counter them. 1. My child needs to get a college degree no matter what. Not all people learn well in a classroom setting through mostly listening, reading, and writing; some people learn best through practical and tactical training. Not all people desire an occupation that requires a college degree. A college degree alone does not guarantee gainful employment. Some employers, including large reputable tech companies, have eliminated the requirement of a college degree (or never needed them to begin with) and hire workers based on a narrow set of skills that can be obtained through vocational schools or boot camps. For example, there are a multitude of respectable jobs in the technical and medical fields that only require a certificate that can be earned at a community college in less than 2 years. (Check out these ideas ) Forcing your child to complete college without consideration for their natural career interests or learning styles can prove to be a waste of everyone’s time and money. However, if your child is not sure of their interests and enjoys academic learning, college could be a perfect place for them to explore and test out career specializations. 2. High grades are the most important thing to focus on during college, and my child should only spend time on classes and extracurriculars that directly relate to a specific career field. Grades are just one of many factors employers look for in candidates. According to a 2020 study by the National Association of Colleges and Employers (NACE) , which conducts multiple studies each year, employers also look for extracurricular activities, compatibility of major, internship experience, leadership experience, and work experience in general. They want to hire well-rounded people who can balance multiple activities besides studying because real life is complex and demanding! Encourage your children to be involved in multiple enriching experiences beyond the college classroom. This is so important to students’ personal and career development that increasing numbers of universities have established new offices devoted to Experiential Learning to encourage and guide students to participate in community service, research, internships, and study abroad. 3. My child needs to determine their major, so they will know what they will do for "the rest of their lives" by the time they graduate from college. The times of getting a job at a company and working your way up for the next 4 decades in order to retire with a pension are becoming increasingly rare. We live in a “VUCA” environment, coined in 1987 by scholars at the U.S. Army War College. It stands for volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous - which is likely to give anyone great anxiety! According to a 2012 study by the Federal Reserve Bank of New York , only 27% of college graduates work in a field related to their major. Those are likely the ones whose desired occupation requires a straightforward major like accounting, electrical engineering, or elementary teaching. The vast majority study their area(s) of greatest interest, which is the path of greatest success because they are intrinsically motivated to persevere and excel. 4. My child needs to study one of the majors that lead to maximum job security and earning potential (i.e. business or engineering). There is no such thing as 100% job security, as the 2008 and COVID-19 Recessions have demonstrated. There are jobs with increasing demand, as indicated in the Occupational Outlook Handbook website maintained by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, and there are jobs that are declining in demand due to technology such as artificial intelligence. A 2017 study by the U.S. Department of Education revealed that one-third of college students change their majors at least once; students in STEM (science, technology, engineering, math) majors are more likely to change majors than non-STEM students. More and more employers are looking to hire college graduates who possess essential competencies rather than specific majors. So avoid worrying about your child’s choice of major and support their development of employers' most wanted competencies . Focus on encouraging them to pursue courses that provide the greatest rigor and fascination, which are the most likely to foster self-motivation and hard work towards meaningful goals. 5. My child will forever be unemployed or underemployed if they major in the humanities or social sciences (aka liberal arts). This is a short-sighted simplification. Yes, graduates in STEM earn more in their first job after college than graduates who majored in English, Psychology, or History. However, this 2019 New York Times article states that the earnings of liberal arts graduates tend to catch up and exceed that of STEM graduates by age 40. The two main reasons for this are STEM skills quickly become obsolete and liberal arts majors are more likely to go on to management positions. Of course, these are broad generalizations. Personal determination and adaptability, as well as unforeseeable market forces, are more important factors for career success and high salaries. Some of the most financially successful and famous professionals have a liberal arts degree, and they do not regret it. Here’s just one list of examples. 6. My child should be certain of what job title they are pursuing. Job titles are constantly evolving and are, thus, an ineffective way to plan career directions. Countless job titles have become obsolete and new job titles are being created every year as technology and world trends advance. Job availability at the time of graduation depends on market demand at the time and where your child is willing to live. More effective career directions could be determined by encouraging your child to answer the questions, “What problems do you want to help tackle in the world? What do you find endlessly fascinating to learn about? What strengths and skills would you like to use in your daily work?” Point your child to their university career counselors to explore these questions in depth. 7. My child’s levels of financial success and career prestige are a reflection of my success as a parent. This is a belief in many cultures that is deeply entrenched and difficult to dispel, one that assumes your children are mindless extensions of you with no ambitions, strengths, personality, or agency of their own. This kind of pressure and expectation on children can often lead to deep shame, frustration, dread, guilt, resentment, and confusion that keeps children from exploring and excelling in their careers of choice. Maybe you experienced this pressure from your parents and have accepted that this is just how things are, but each new generation is like a blank slate. I invite you to re-evaluate and perhaps re-define the sources of your satisfaction and fulfillment in parenting. Thank you for reading this long letter and considering these points. I applaud you for being an involved and informed parent. Your children are blessed to have parents who care. I look forward to helping your children create meaningful and fulfilling careers and lives. Yours Truly, Linda Evans Make sure to follow Linda on Facebook , LinkedIn , and visit her website for more info! Read more from Linda ! Linda Evans, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Linda Evans is a strengths-based career coach and personal branding expert. In 2011, she founded her virtual career coaching business, Launched by Linda, LLC. Her full-time career has been in higher education since 2012 and she currently works in Career Services at Trinity University in San Antonio, Texas. Linda has a B.A. in American Studies and a minor in Ballroom Dance from Brigham Young University, and an M.A. in Psychological Counseling from Columbia University. She is also a Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach, and has certificates in positive psychology and public speaking.