Linette Gonzalez is a Nurse Practitioner, Health Coach, and Yoga Instructor who approaches health through clinical and integrative lenses. Her work is centered on helping people understand the patterns behind their symptoms while combining evidence-based medicine with nutrition, lifestyle, and whole-person care. In this interview, Linette explores what it means to look beyond “normal” lab results, why sequence matters in healing, and how her personal experience with fibromyalgia shaped the way she listens to patients. Linette Gonzalez Alarcon, Family Nurse Practitioner & Health Coach What does integrative health look like in practice for someone who has tried everything and still does not feel like themselves? Integrative health, in practice, means I stop treating you as a list of separate complaints and start treating you as one connected system. Most people who come to me have already done the conventional route. They have seen a primary care provider, a gastroenterologist, maybe a rheumatologist or an endocrinologist. Each specialist looked at their own organ and said, "This part looks fine." But sometimes no one has stepped back and asked why the fatigue, bloating, anxiety, and joint pain began around the same time. So, the first thing that changes is the questions. I want to understand what was happening in your life when the symptoms began, how you sleep, how you digest, how you handle stress, how you move, and what your labs looked like over time rather than on one day. As a Nurse Practitioner, I believe conventional medicine has an essential role. We need to identify and treat disease, rule out serious conditions, and use appropriate testing and treatment when indicated. Integrative care adds another layer by asking what factors may be contributing to how someone feels and how we can support the body’s ability to function well. You do not have to choose between the two. To me, integrative care is about connecting the dots, looking at the whole person, and creating a personalized plan based on what we find. Sometimes the first step toward feeling like yourself again is finally understanding that your symptoms are not random. They are information. When someone’s labs look normal, but they still feel unwell, what do you look at next? "Labs are a snapshot. Your symptoms are the film." “Normal” is not necessarily the end of the conversation. A lab report usually tells us whether a result falls within a reference range based on a population, and the general population is not especially healthy. It does not, by itself, tell us the whole story of an individual’s health. First, I want to make sure we are not overlooking an underlying medical condition. I consider the person’s symptoms, history, medications, and clinical presentation, and whether additional evaluation or testing is clinically appropriate. For example, a thyroid panel that is technically in range, paired with fatigue, cold hands, and hair loss, deserves a more comprehensive evaluation, not a shrug. Beyond that, I look at patterns over time. How are they sleeping? How are they eating? How is their digestion? What happens to their energy throughout the day? What stressors are present? How much are they moving? What medications or supplements are they taking? When did the symptoms begin, and what was happening in their life at that time? I pay attention to the person, not just the number. Two people can have similar lab results and feel completely different. I never want “your labs are normal” to mean “nothing is wrong with you.” Sometimes it simply means we need to broaden the conversation. How did your own experience with fibromyalgia change the way you listen to patients whose symptoms do not fit neatly into a diagnosis? My experience with fibromyalgia profoundly changed the way I listen. Being diagnosed in the past taught me what it feels like to sit on the other side of the desk. When your symptoms are difficult to explain or do not fit neatly into a diagnostic box, you learn how frustrating it is to know that something is not right while struggling to communicate exactly what is happening. It also changed how I see a diagnosis. In the conventional world, a diagnosis can be incredibly useful, it gives us a framework for understanding symptoms and guiding treatment. I respect that, and I use it. But I see it as a starting point, not the whole story. Two people with the same label can have completely different drivers behind it, and a person without a label can still be very unwell. That experience taught me that listening is not a soft skill, it is part of clinical care. Nurses know this. Those of us who worked at the bedside learned to listen and to see the whole person, not just the chart. Patients may not have the perfect medical vocabulary, but their story matters, and part of my job is helping them translate what they are experiencing into something we can investigate. My own journey made me more curious and more compassionate. I want patients to feel they have a partner willing to look at the bigger picture with them, rather than dismissing something because it does not fit. Symptoms are complex and multifactorial, and as clinicians, we need to consider everything. Where do you think the root cause conversation becomes too simplistic in wellness? I think the “root cause” conversation becomes simplistic when it suggests every health concern has a single cause that can be identified and fixed with a single intervention. It also becomes oversimplified when "root cause" turns into a cliché for sales. If the answer to every health problem is the same supplement, cleanse, or restrictive diet, that is not root-cause thinking. Believe it or not, many practitioners in the wellness space still try to “solve” migraines simply by recommending magnesium. Human biology is much more complex than that. Multiple factors can influence health: genetics, environment, nutrition, sleep, stress, physical activity, medications, medical conditions, relationships, and many others. Sometimes we can identify a clear driver. Other times, we are looking at several factors interacting with one another. I think of it as a bucket, there may be multiple factors filling it, and eventually the bucket overflows. The goal is to understand what is contributing to that overflow. That is why I prefer to think in terms of patterns and contributing factors rather than one isolated cause. For me, the root-cause approach means asking better questions and being willing to look deeper while staying grounded in clinical judgment and the best evidence we have. It also means being willing to think outside the box, because science does not yet have all the answers. It is about expanding the lens, not replacing one oversimplified explanation with another. How do you decide when an integrative approach is appropriate and when someone needs further medical evaluation? This is where having a clinical background matters most, because safety comes first. I don't see integrative care and medical care as opposing approaches. In many cases, they should work together. Before I ever talk about lifestyle, I ask whether anything in front of me needs to be medically ruled out. Unintentional weight loss, blood in the stool, night sweats, a new severe headache, chest pain, neurological changes, a lump, or rapidly progressing symptoms are not integrative health coaching conversations. They are "you need to be seen, and soon" conversations, and I say so directly. That is why assessment and careful listening are the foundation of the coach-client relationship. Once we've addressed urgent or significant medical concerns, an integrative approach can help us see the broader picture. Nutrition, sleep, movement, stress management, lifestyle habits, and other supportive strategies can be valuable components of a person's overall health plan. Sometimes both need to happen at the same time. Someone can have a medical diagnosis and still benefit from improving their nutrition, sleep, physical activity, and stress resilience. To me, good integrative care is not about avoiding conventional medicine. It is about knowing when each tool is appropriate and making sure the person receives comprehensive care that is both safe and individualized. Why does the order in which you address health matter so much in your approach? "Holistic care is not about doing more, it is about doing what is appropriate, in the right order, at the right time, for the individual." I believe the body works as an interconnected system, so the order in which we address different aspects of health makes a meaningful difference. I learned this by being my own first patient. When I finally decided to heal, I did not start with a protocol, I started by being kind to myself and calming my nervous system. A body constantly under stress has a harder time repairing and regulating. Once I created more safety and stability, the rest became possible. Hence, I prefer a step-by-step approach rather than changing everything at once. Sometimes people do too much, changing their diet, adding multiple supplements, starting an exercise program, and addressing several symptoms at once. When something improves or gets worse, it becomes difficult to understand what actually made the difference. In addition, I constantly see a mistake in practice: people start at the end. They buy the probiotics, the adaptogens, and the methylated vitamins, then wonder why nothing changes, when they never removed what was actually causing the damage in the first place, whether it is an inflammatory diet, a chronic infection, environmental toxins, or stress. So, I start with the foundations, identifying potential contributors, supporting nutrition and digestion, improving sleep and recovery, addressing lifestyle factors, and making changes that are realistic for the individual. From there, we gradually build, based on how the body responds. For me, holistic care is not about doing more, it is about doing what is appropriate, in the right order, at the right time, for the individual. For someone dealing with fatigue, brain fog, and digestive issues, what are the first patterns you would ask them to examine? I would start by stepping back rather than immediately focusing on one symptom. Fatigue, brain fog, and digestive complaints can have many possible causes, so the first step is understanding the person’s individual history and overall picture. Before I change anything, I ask people to observe three patterns. The first is timing and the relationship between symptoms. When does the energy crash, and what happened in the hours before it? What happens after meals? I look at digestion as a daily report: bloating, bowel patterns, food triggers, and whether certain foods seem to affect how they feel the next day. I also look at sleep and stress. Are they waking during the night, relying on caffeine to get through the day, or feeling wired but exhausted? These patterns can give us clues about blood sugar regulation, digestion, sleep, and nervous-system stress. I also want to understand the timeline, whether symptoms began after an illness, medication, major stress, or dietary change, and what medications and supplements are in the picture. Honest observation turns “I feel terrible” into a pattern we can work with. It tells us where to start instead of guessing. My goal is to understand the individual first and create a safe, personalized plan rather than applying a one-size-fits-all protocol. What does “health is more than the absence of symptoms” mean to you personally? To me, "health is more than the absence of symptoms" means that feeling nothing wrong is not proof that nothing is wrong. Many chronic diseases develop quietly over years, sometimes decades, before the first obvious symptom appears. Insulin resistance can develop for years before blood sugar rises. Autoimmune conditions begin developing long before they are diagnosed or show up on routine testing. Blood vessels change silently. By the time symptoms appear, the underlying process is often well established. That is why I do not accept "I feel fine" or "my labs are normal" as the end of the conversation, particularly when someone is eating poorly, sleeping badly, not moving, and running on chronic stress. The body gives subtle signals long before it produces a diagnosis: changes in energy, mood, sleep, digestion, sugar cravings, or a lab value gradually drifting toward the edge of the reference range year after year. Those signs aren't a disease, but they indicate something is out of balance. Personally, I lived for years thinking I was healthy, and I was proud of it. I never realized that the brain fog I experienced as a child was an early signal that something was not right. When I finally looked back over my whole life, I could see patterns that had been there for decades. That is what the absence of symptoms can hide. Real health is not simply having nothing that hurts or nothing that has been diagnosed, it is the body functioning well, maintaining balance, and having the resilience to adapt before small imbalances become bigger problems. What is one thing you want people who have been told everything looks normal to understand about their health? I want them to understand that their experience matters, and that they have a right to advocate for their own health. If your tests come back clear, but you still do not feel well, that is not a reason to ignore what you are experiencing. It is also not a reason to assume something mysterious or catastrophic is being missed. It is an opportunity to pause, reassess, and ask better questions. Start with your story, because it holds information no test can. Then become an active participant in your healthcare. Ask why a test is being ordered, ask what the results actually mean, ask what has been ruled out, what has not been evaluated, and whether other factors are worth considering. Question things, not because you should distrust your providers, but because you deserve to understand your health and be part of the decision-making process. If the person in front of you is not curious about those questions, find someone who is. Remember that you do not have to choose between conventional medicine and an integrative approach, both have a place. I was once told my pain was in my head, and it took me years to stop believing it. You do not have to wait that long. Your symptoms are information. Learning to read that information, asking questions, and advocating for yourself is how you take your health back. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and my website for more info! Read more from Linette Gonzalez Alarcon

Written by: Editorial Team “Export of cars today remains a promising direction, since there will always be demand for transportation,” says the Ukrainian entrepreneur and businessman, founder of the company GR8 Auto LLC, Illia Korotkyi. “When someone is going through a tough financial period, they'll pass on a new car and look for alternatives, for example, ordering a used vehicle from the U.S. Due to the war in Ukraine, changes in logistics chains and other international factors, we temporarily reduced export activity and focused on the domestic US market. Before the start of full-scale, we exported 50-60 cars per month, now only 3-5. In the long term, we plan to restore and develop this direction.” Since 2024, Korotkyi has been working in America, where he is developing his own company for the sale and export of used cars, GR8 Auto LLC, in North Carolina. In running the business, he applies his own systematic approach, a developed methodology, thanks to which GR8 Auto LLC is successfully developing and operating reliably. “Any business needs order, control and stability. My methodology allows us to structure all processes and ensure the controlled growth of the company. In our work, we combine a systematic approach with modern technologies, CRM, AI tools and automation, which gives us a serious advantage over competitors who work according to outdated methods,” says the owner of GR8 Auto LLC. Export process Although GR8 Auto LLC’s activities are currently concentrated mainly on the domestic US market, Illia plans to expand the full-fledged export of used cars to countries in Europe, Central Asia, the Middle East and Africa in the near future. He walks through every stage a vehicle goes through, from purchase to overseas shipment. “For both export and domestic sales, most of the processes are the same: vehicle selection, inspection, purchase and logistics. For the domestic market, repairs and preparation for sale are added, and for export, international transportation and customer support until the car is received. First of all, we control quality. Even before the purchase, we check the history through Carfax, analyze the seller and the technical condition of the car. For export, we carry out photo fixation of the vehicle at the auction, at the port of departure and upon arrival in the destination country. This way, we monitor the car's condition at every stage of transport.” At the logistics stage, the company sends about 90% of vehicles in containers. It cooperates with international carriers such as Maersk, Hapag-Lloyd, and ZIM. Air delivery is used only for individual premium orders when the client is ready to pay for maximum speed. To minimize risks in international car operations, GR8 Auto LLC uses the principle of transparency, and Illia Korotkyi personally checks all processes. “We explain to customers in advance all possible risks, spell out the relevant terms in the contracts, and set out the appropriate terms in every contract. This way we minimize misunderstandings and can work stably. Although there are stages in the international export of cars over which we have no influence. The biggest uncertainties are related to international logistics and changes in customs regulations. Transportation costs, routes, delivery times, and customs payments may change regardless of our company”. Prospects for international export development Korotkyi says that in the near future he plans to fully resume exports to countries where GR8 Auto LLC already has clients and many years of experience. "The priority for us remains Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, Ukraine, Poland, Lithuania, Germany, and the United Arab Emirates. We also see potential for development in certain African markets, where we already have some experience." Such activities will have a positive impact on the US economy. The export of used cars will contribute to an increase in trade volume, support the work of American auctions, transport and logistics companies, and port infrastructure. Transportation of cars abroad will create new jobs in the field of transportation and foreign trade. In addition, this will allow expanding the geography of exports, attracting new international customers and strengthening trade ties between the United States and partner countries. In parallel, new directions will be developed, and processes will be simplified for customers using digital tools and automation. The entrepreneur plans to improve logistics to ensure the fastest possible delivery of the vehicle to the destination. He says that international customers want to receive their car as soon as possible. Due to complicated logistics, they are increasingly asking about the possibility of accelerating delivery. This is especially true for premium segment buyers who are ready to use air transportation. Korotkyi plans to focus on developing this area. The entrepreneur is optimistic about the company's continued growth. Korotkyi expects continued growth for the business. "I see GR8 Auto LLC as an international company with several representative offices in major US states and a strong export sector. We plan to sell over 100 cars per month in America and export over 200 per month to different countries of the world. Our goal is to create a strong international brand that will be associated with reliability, service, and a professional approach to the automotive business."

Written by: Editorial Team Modern life moves at a relentless pace, leaving little space for mental stillness and turning stress into an everyday routine. People worry about work, family, finances, and the constant stream of information that follows them throughout the day. Even moments intended for rest are often interrupted by notifications, news updates, advertising, social media feeds, and endless digital distractions. As a result, many adults struggle to switch their attention, recover mentally, and create space for genuine relaxation. For some, an unexpected solution may be found not in another wellness app or productivity strategy, but at a piano keyboard. Beyond its musical appeal, the instrument offers an opportunity to focus attention, engage the mind in a meaningful activity, and temporarily step away from everyday concerns. We spoke with Olena Zhunda, a Master of Musical Arts, educator, and author of a methodological model for developing artistic skills in pianists, about why more adults are choosing to learn the piano and how musical practice can become a valuable part of modern life. Why it's worth playing According to Zhunda, interest in piano study among adults has grown significantly in recent years. Students arrive with a wide range of goals. Some want to learn a favorite song, others hope to improvise, revive a skill acquired in childhood, fulfill a long-standing dream, accompany their own singing or that of family members, develop a meaningful hobby, reduce screen time, create a personal creative space after work, prepare a musical gift, or simply experience something beyond the routine of everyday responsibilities. For an adult, it is especially important that the repertoire has a personal meaning. Therefore, they often choose classical pieces, film music, jazz, Ukrainian songs, or modern compositions for study. She believes that piano playing represents an active form of recreation because it requires a person to engage with a complex task involving multiple processes at once. While playing, the pianist reads notes or follows the keyboard, listens to the sound being produced, coordinates both hands, maintains rhythm, anticipates upcoming musical phrases, adjusts touch and dynamics, and continuously evaluates and corrects mistakes. Such activity temporarily displaces the flow of thoughts, messages and digital stimuli. A person stops consuming information and shifts into a creative mode. That is why the piano can work as an active digital detox: for a certain time, attention has a clear object, sequence and audible result. “At the same time, I do not call it a treatment for stress. The piano does not replace sleep, physical activity, psychotherapy, medical care or solving real-life problems.” Zhunda also points out how regular piano playing can help support cognitive and emotional well-being. She says that systematic training gives the brain a complex task in which auditory, visual, motor and executive processes are simultaneously involved. During piano practice, individuals engage their auditory attention, coordination, and memory while developing planning, anticipation, concentration, patience, self-control, and the ability to identify and correct mistakes. According to Olena, the feeling of an immediate result is emotionally important. A person presses a key and immediately hears the result of their action. Even a small improvement, for example, a more even pulse or a more natural connection of two phrases, creates a feeling of personal competence. “I do not recommend exhausting hours of classes for beginners. Short regular sessions of about 15 to 20 minutes can be a start. Fifteen minutes is a practical minimum that is easier to repeat systematically. It is better to practice short sessions several times a week than one two-hour class.” Over time, piano study can strengthen discipline, patience, and concentration while teaching students to work toward long-term goals, respond calmly to mistakes, recognize progress, and enjoy the creative process itself. Zhunda says that a regular, screen-free creative ritual can become part of one's daily life. As skills develop, adults may perform for friends and family, accompany singers, participate in amateur music groups, attend group classes, record their performances, or pursue personal creative projects. The most valuable result of classes is the formation of a stable creative connection with music and the habit of moving from the mode of information consumption to the mode of personal action and creation. Playing the piano vs. Meditation Zhunda sees clear differences between piano practice and traditional meditation or mindfulness techniques. She says that in traditional meditation, a person often focuses on breathing, bodily sensations, or observing thoughts. While playing the piano, concentration is maintained through action: movement, listening, rhythm, coordination, musical form. That is, meditation often involves observing, while musical practice suggests organizing and creating. She notes that different people respond to different methods of managing attention. For some, silence creates the ideal conditions for relaxation and reflection. For others, silence simply leaves room for another cycle of thoughts and worries. In those cases, a structured activity may provide a more effective path to concentration because it is demanding enough to interrupt the internal dialogue. She says that the piano is not ‘better’ than meditation. It is a different way of working with attention. Both practices can complement each other. At the same time, Zhunda emphasizes that the benefits of piano playing depend on how the activity is approached. The instrument has a better chance of maintaining a positive emotional state when a person chooses it voluntarily, studies music that has personal meaning, works at an appropriate level of difficulty, practices consistently without excessive pressure, and views mistakes as a natural part of learning and the teacher takes the person's individual goals into account. By contrast, the expected benefits may disappear if adults bring an excessively demanding professional mindset into their musical studies. Constant self-comparison, unrealistic expectations, overly difficult repertoire, physical overexertion, or treating every mistake as a personal failure can undermine the experience. The teacher explains that if a person has a long-term depressed state, panic symptoms, insomnia, severe exhaustion or cannot perform everyday duties, they need professional help. A music lesson is not therapy and should not be presented as a treatment. Mistakes at the start Adult beginners often encounter challenges that slow their progress and reduce motivation. Many repeatedly play an entire piece without isolating difficult passages, set unrealistic goals, compare themselves with professional musicians, focus exclusively on correct notes rather than musical quality, practice despite pain, or continuously search for new learning materials instead of developing a consistent routine. Another common mistake is waiting for inspiration before practicing, even though motivation often appears after the work has already begun. According to Zhunda, all these mistakes reduce motivation, because a person sees only the gap between themselves and the desired result. It is much more useful to compare today’s performance with their own recording from a month ago. Zhunda believes that the piano remains one of the most accessible and practical instruments for adult beginners while also offering opportunities for musicians with prior experience. “One of my adult students used to play the cello, and now she has decided to learn the piano. Her previous musical experience proved an advantage. She was well-versed in the bass clef, because it was the one she used when playing the cello, but reading the treble clef required additional practice. In addition, she is left-handed, so we carefully worked on the coordination of both hands, without altering her natural motor patterns. Unlike the cello, where performers typically focus on a single musical line, piano playing requires reading two staves simultaneously, coordinating both hands, and maintaining a balanced sound. Therefore, one of the main tasks at the initial stage was gradually building the skill of reading two-line notation. We worked in small steps, in no hurry to move on to complex repertoire. More important were regularity of classes, careful reading of notes and understanding of musical text. Today this student plays much more freely with two hands, confidently reads music in both clefs and navigates the musical notation much faster.” Adults successfully form new skills when learning is built sequentially, taking into account their previous experience and individual characteristics. Today, Zhunda lives in the United States, where she works as an accompanist at Wingate University, a piano teacher at Moonlight Music School in Monroe, North Carolina, and a pianist at Messiah Lutheran Church. She is also the founder of La Mi Sol Musical Art LLC, a piano studio dedicated to developing the creative abilities of both children and adults. Her work in the United States is focused on implementing and refining an original piano teaching methodology adapted to the realities of contemporary American music education. The approach aims to strengthen artistic expression and stage confidence while supporting long-term musical development. Its effectiveness is reflected in students’ public performances, competition results, and awards at international events, including the Charleston International Music Competition.

Written by Aran Bray, Founder of Be Outstanding, Speaker & Human Performance Coach Aran Bray is the creator of The Take One Moment Method (TOM), a practical approach to human behaviour that focuses on the moment before action. His work helps people recognise patterns, interrupt automatic responses, and develop real self-direction. It keeps happening because a pattern is running, and the pattern is doing its job. Not bad luck. Not a flaw in your character. A pattern: a loop of trigger, behaviour, result and reinforcement that runs underneath your attention and gets slightly stronger every time it completes. The repeat is the point. A pattern that repeats is a pattern that works, at least for the part of you it was built to protect. That is the whole answer. The rest of this page unpacks it so you can use it tonight: what the loop looks like from the inside, why effort has not broken it, how to find yours in four written lines, and how to interrupt it at the one moment when interruption is possible. The question underneath the question Is something actually wrong with me? No. This matters, because at eleven at night, the question underneath the question is usually that one. Nothing has to be wrong for a pattern to run. Most people typing this into a search box are good at what they do and have been for years. The business is fine. The diary is full. Other people bring them their problems. Somewhere in the background, there is a thing, often one specific thing, that keeps not happening. The conversation that keeps getting postponed. The change you said you would make when things calmed down. Things calmed down. It still did not happen. The sting is the gap between knowing and doing. You know what to do. You have known for a while. When that gap stays open long enough, it stops feeling like a delay and starts to feel like information about who you are. It is not information about who you are. It is information about the loop you are in. Those are different problems with different solutions, which is why treating this as a character problem has got you nowhere. Willpower is a spike, a pattern is a baseline Trying harder is not working because the effort is landing at the wrong point in the loop. You have probably already run the obvious repairs. The notebook system. The early mornings that lasted about eleven days. The podcasts, now playing at one and a half speed while less of their content goes in. Perhaps a coach who worked on the business rather than on the person running it. Each one worked for roughly a fortnight. That fortnight matters more than it seems. It proves the problem was never discipline, because for two weeks you had discipline, and the pattern came back anyway. Here is what trying harder actually does. It pushes on the behaviour, the visible middle of the loop, while the trigger that starts it and the payoff that feeds it stay untouched. The trigger still fires. The payoff still arrives. So the loop wins on any day you are tired, stressed or distracted, which is most days. Willpower is a spike. A pattern is a baseline. If you have caught yourself saying, “I am trying so hard, and it is just not changing,” that sentence is accurate. It is also evidence. Sustained effort with no change means the target is wrong. Stop aiming at the behaviour. The loop never asks your opinion What is actually happening when it repeats is a loop with four stages, running faster than your awareness of it. Trigger. Something starts it. A gap in the day, a certain name in your inbox, a particular tone in a meeting, Sunday evening. Triggers are specific, and they are learnable, which becomes useful in a moment. Behaviour. What you actually do. Usually the avoiding move: the tab that opens, the task that suddenly becomes urgent, the reasonable-sounding decision to wait for a better moment. Result. The immediate outcome. The uncomfortable thing goes away. Relief arrives fast, and fast is what the loop is optimising for. Reinforcement. The relief teaches your brain that the avoiding move works. So the loop becomes slightly cheaper to run next time and slightly more expensive to interrupt. That is the real cost of another lap: not the day you lost, but the deeper groove you paid for it with. Notice what is missing from those stages. A decision. The loop does not ask your opinion. By the time you are aware it is running, you are usually at stage three, feeling the relief and telling yourself a small story about why today was genuinely not the day. There is one moment when you get a say It sits between the trigger and the behaviour, and it is short. I call it the edge: the point where you either continue the existing pattern or choose a different action. Everything useful on this page happens at that moment. Four lines on a piece of paper You find your pattern by writing it down once, in plain words, as four lines. This is not a journalling habit, and it does not need an app. It is a single act of noticing, done on paper, tonight if you want. Take the thing that keeps happening and work backwards through one recent, specific repeat. Yesterday’s version, or last Tuesday’s. Not the general shape of it. One actual occasion. Then complete four lines: The trigger was... What I did was... What I got was... What that taught the loop was... Here is an example, invented for illustration rather than taken from anyone’s life: the conversation you keep not having with a business partner. The trigger: they mention next year’s plans. What you did: nodded, agreed, made a private note to raise it another time. What you got: a comfortable meeting. What that taught the loop: raising it another time is now, once again, the official plan. You will know your four lines are honest when they are slightly uncomfortable to read back. If they read smoothly, you have written the polite version. Go again. Every pattern protects something Then add a fifth line if you can: what the pattern is protecting. Every pattern protects something. Comfort, usually. Sometimes an identity, or the version of events where nothing has been risked yet and so nothing has been lost. Naming the protection takes half the shame out of the loop, because a pattern that protects something is not stupidity. It is machinery, doing its job past the point when the job needed doing. Meeting it at the edge You interrupt it at the edge, with four moves run in order. I teach this as EDGE, and the whole method is here, not a preview of it. Expose. Recognise the pattern while it is happening. This is what the four lines were for. Once the trigger is written down, it stops being weather and starts being a cue. The first sign it is working: a small internal flag, mid-moment, that says, “This is the pattern.” Detach. Create a little space between the trigger and yourself. One slow breath is enough. You are not trying to feel calm. You are trying to feel the gap between the urge and the action, because in that gap, the loop is not driving. Slow the moment down, and the moment stops deciding for you. Guide. Choose a direction, decided in advance, not composed at the edge. The edge is a terrible place to deliberate, so do not deliberate there. Before the trigger next fires, finish this sentence: “When it happens, I will...” Say the first sentence. Open the document. Make the call. One concrete act, small enough to survive a bad day. Execute. Do it immediately, while the gap is open. Small and done beats large and planned. The size of the act matters far less than which side of the edge it lands on. You will catch it afterwards first Be ready for the unglamorous truth of the first fortnight: you will mostly catch the pattern after it has already run. That is not failure. Noticing afterwards is the first repetition of noticing, and the gap between the pattern running and you spotting it shrinks with each one. You are installing a new response next to an old one, and installation is quiet work. Slow is not stuck How long does this take? Weeks. Honestly, weeks. Insight is fast, and change is slow, and the difference between them is repetitions. A pattern that has run for a year has a year of reinforcement behind it. It does not dissolve because you have understood it. It weakens each time it fires and you do something different at the edge, and it weakens slowly at first, then noticeably. The sequence usually runs: catching it afterwards, then catching it during, then occasionally getting there ahead of it. Each stage is progress that the day itself will not feel like progress. So measure the right thing. Do not measure how often the old pattern still fires. Measure how quickly you spot it. That number moves first, and it pulls the rest along behind it. Slow is not stuck. Slow is regulated. Knowing was never the problem If you already know all this, then you have arrived at the real problem, because knowing was never the problem. Somewhere in these repeats, you have probably said the other quiet sentence: “I know I am better than this.” It is usually said like an accusation. Read plainly, it is just accurate. You are better than the pattern. That is precisely why watching it win feels the way it does, and why one more book was never going to be the answer. The gap between knowing and doing does not close with information. It closes with repetitions at the edge, and repetitions hold far better with structure and a witness than they do alone at eleven at night. A page can hand you the map A page like this can hand you the map. It cannot stand at the edge with you on a Tuesday when the trigger fires and the old move is halfway out of the door. That part is the actual work, and it is the work I do with people over ninety days, one-to-one and in small groups. It is not therapy, and it is not for anyone in crisis. It is for someone who can already name their thing in one sentence and has run out of patience with knowing. If that is you, the door is a free introductory conversation at be-outstanding.com. The purpose is suitability, not pressure. If the page was enough, take the four lines and use them tonight. Nothing is wrong with you. A pattern has been running, and now you have watched it run. If you’d like to explore more of my writing on human behaviour, possibility and expansion, visit my website. Follow me on LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Aran Bray Aran Bray, Founder of Be Outstanding, Speaker & Human Performance Coach Aran Bray is the creator of The Take One Moment Method (TOM), a practical approach to human behaviour that focuses on the moment before action. His work centres on why people don’t act on what they already know, and how automatic patterns are formed through repetition, conditioning, and emotional response. By helping individuals recognise and interrupt these patterns in real time, he enables lasting behavioural change and genuine self-direction. Aran works with individuals, leaders, and organisations to develop the ability to act clearly when it matters most.

Written by Linda Løwebeck, Counselor & Teacher Linda Løwebeck is known as a psychic medium and healer. She is the founder of Spirit of One, where people can book her for counseling, healing, and information about the spirit realm. She is also the head of an unidentified flying object (UFO) group called CE-5 (Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind) Copenhagen, which conducts CE-5 Skywatches in search of extraterrestrial life. Life has a way of leading your attention outward in many directions. Over in this, over in that, over in him, over in her. It leads attention away from the centred Self, and it is a daily task to stay centred while interacting with life, which can feel overwhelming. Your core Self is full of wisdom, potential and peace. Leading your life from there makes life much more serene and a lot less stressful. Here are five ways that you can reconnect with your centred Self and serenity. Meditating has a magical effect on your centredness and life. Just meditating for five minutes works wonders for you. Usually, there are inner distractions, and the mind jumps around, also known as the monkey mind, because of its rapid movements. The best way to calm the monkey mind is to write down the different details, such as things to memorise for later. Emptying the mind of thoughts onto notes for later attention. It is my experience that it is highly beneficial to spend some minutes emptying the mind before going into meditation. Another practice you can do is journaling. This is where you let your thoughts out onto paper and express everything in your mind. No holding back and no politeness. These are your raw, authentic thoughts on things. This method has a very deep cleansing effect and can bring up all sorts of emotions. It is common to cry or shout and let the profanities out. A third method is to pay attention to your dreams. Dreams come in two forms. Firstly, when we sleep, we always go astral travelling, and we usually cannot remember it. Lucid dreaming is a gateway to becoming conscious while dreaming. Secondly, the brain processes daily life, and the subconscious has a lot to say. With dream interpretation, pay attention to the feelings in the dream, more so than the images. The feelings give clarity to situations in waking life. A fourth way to reconnect to your authentic Self and serenity is through bodywork therapy. Old feelings and traumas are stored in the body’s muscle memory. Bodywork therapy lets these stuck emotions flow and creates space for them to be released and processed. It is life-changing to finally let go of both childhood traumas and adult traumas, and this is essentially what we all need. Lastly, a fifth way to come home to your centred Self is through psychic medium consultation and healing. A psychic medium and healer offers guidance from the spirit realm and can heal energies in the body and auric field. The transformation can also have its origin in past lives, and here a psychic medium can help release it. This is where conventional therapy cannot reach, and it is my observation and experience that symptoms subside through regression and past life healing. My perspective on reconnecting to Self, the pure, peaceful Self, is that we have to do the inner work. It is a very long process to rest in the Self permanently, and it can be done, but most people will not attain that. What is attainable for everyone is to come back to your centre, and with some effort, as explained, you can be there most of the time. Your life will be more peaceful, more aligned, and serenity emerges. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Linda Løwebeck Linda Løwebeck, Counselor & Teacher Linda Løwebeck is a psychic medium and healer from birth and has also trained her gifts at a psychic school. Since childhood, she has been in communication with spirits and has had the ability to heal. She uses her gifts to help people find clarity in their life situations and heal their discomfort with Spirit of One. UFOs have always been an interest, and in 2015 Linda saw her first one. She established the UFO group CE-5 Copenhagen and has had many sightings. Her mission is to expand awareness, so people can experience a clearer approach to life and experience spirits, healing, and UFOs

Written by David Starlyte, Contemplative Psychotherapist & Retreat Leader David is a Contemplative Psychotherapist, transformation advisor, and sacred journey leader whose work explores the psychological and existential dimensions of human suffering and transformation. Integrating Buddhist psychology, relational depth, and contemplative practice, he guides high-functioning individuals through processes of inner transformation, psychological integration, and immersive sacred experiences. Movement is not the enemy. The compulsion to keep moving is the question. Blue light radiates perpetually from skyscrapers and screens, pervading our minds. Highways pulse with cars, Ubers, buses, and delivery trucks. Traffic blares. Podcasts leak into the night. It is no wonder the noise in our minds rarely settles. This compulsion to increase productivity has become a cultural phenomenon. We live in a world that rewards momentum, availability, and output. Yet amid this relentless pace, an important question remains. What are we moving towards, or escaping from? A runner moving with the wind may be expressing athleticism, freedom, and vitality. Or they may be defending against the discomfort of standing still. A person may work from an inner drive to express creativity and passion. Or work because the thought of stopping feels intolerable. We may travel because we are genuinely curious about the world. Or because staying where we are brings us too close to feelings we would rather avoid. Even meditation can hold this tension. We may practise to meet the mind with greater compassion, or we may use it as another way to get rid of suffering. Movement itself is not the problem. Human beings need activity, connection, creativity and purpose. The question is one of intention. Is our movement an expression of life, or protection from what might surface if we paused? When busyness is excessive, it moves beyond a response to life’s demands. It becomes a habitual way of relating to ourselves, a rote modus operandi that keeps us occupied, distracted, and at a safe distance from difficult inner terrain. When we slow down, feelings can arise that productivity has kept at bay. Anxiety. Grief. Restlessness. Loneliness. Uncertainty. Anger. Questions about identity, direction and meaning. We may begin to notice the adaptations, assumptions and roles that once helped us survive, belong, function and feel secure. Then comes a more fundamental question: "Who am I when I am not doing?" Thich Nhat Hanh, author of Peace Is Every Step, wrote, “The first practice is to stop running, come home to our bodies, and recognise our suffering.” Stillness is not simply being alone in an empty room. It does not require the world around us to become quiet. It asks us to become more present within the body, the physical vessel through which we experience our lives. Stillness is less about controlling the external world than changing our relationship to the activity within us. British psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott described the “capacity to be alone” not as isolation, but as the ability to feel contained within a reliable relational environment. This matters because stillness is rarely easy when we have learned that being alone with ourselves is unsafe. Our capacity for stillness may depend, in part, on our ability to stay present without immediately needing to escape, perform, or seek external reassurance. What might happen if we stepped, even briefly, outside the momentum of ordinary everydayness? Stillness does not necessarily ask us to change our whole lives. It asks us to develop a different relationship with movement. When stimulation feels ceaseless, we can pause long enough to notice what is happening around us, and within us. That pause can become a small but meaningful act of intentional living. Stillness invites us to pivot in how we meet the inner experience that “busyness” may have been helping us avoid. In stillness, we may enter a liminal space, a threshold between an older stage of life and a new way of being. Identity can pause because the future has not yet crystallised. We are no longer fully who we were, yet uncertain who we will become. This in-between space can be uncomfortable. It asks us to release the mask of “knowing” and loosen identities formed to survive and feel secure. Yet it can also bridge knowing and being, between the old self and the emerging one. Contemporary society persistently asks, “What are you doing?” Shifting this orientation contemplatively, one may rather ask, “What is arriving here now?” The shift from doing to being is not passive surrender. It opens into new possibilities. It is a way of living that does not treat every experience as a problem, project, performance, or identity to manage. German social psychologist Erich Fromm asked, “If I am what I have and if what I have is lost, who then am I?” If our only relationship to the world is ownership, achievement, and acquisition, we remain in the mode of “having,” rather than being. Stillness offers another possibility. We can encounter an experience rather than react to it as a means to an end. We can notice, feel, observe, and remain present. The situation itself may not change, but our relationship to it can shift as awareness deepens. Stillness acts as a kink in the machine of modernity. It interrupts automatic living and invites us to pay attention to how we regulate ourselves, where we seek meaning, and how we understand our place in the world. Yet even stillness can become another achievement project. Yoga studios are filled with bodies moving through collective asanas. Carefully curated meditation techniques played over wellness retreats can become another form of striving, an attempt to attain an imagined version of peacefulness. The point is not to perfect stillness. It is to recognise when we are running. Why do we find it so difficult to stop? If we paused for a moment, we might encounter what is already here. Stillness offers the brave an opening to remain present when there is nowhere left to run. Perhaps, in that pause, we discover that what we were escaping from has already arrived. Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from David Starlyte David Starlyte, Contemplative Psychotherapist & Retreat Leader David is a Contemplative Psychotherapist, Naturopath, transformation advisor, and retreat leader specialising in psychological suffering, complex trauma, identity, and meaning. With Master’s degrees in Applied Buddhist Studies and Mental Health, formal naturopathic training, and over 25 years of international experience, he integrates psychology, spirituality, and contemplative practice to support meaningful transformation. He also develops premium retreats and sacred pilgrimages for deep psychological and existential integration.

Written by Suzi Rose, Menopause Coach & Specialist Oncology Pharmacist Suzi Rose is a specialist oncology pharmacist and certified menopause coach. She is the founder of The MenoPharm, a pharmacist-led menopause coaching service that empowers women to navigate hormonal change with clarity and confidence. Menopause is far more than a brief phase later in life, yet outdated stereotypes continue to shape how workplaces understand and support women experiencing it. This article explores the often overlooked mental, physical, and professional impact of perimenopause and menopause, and why personalised, clinically informed workplace support matters. The menopause myth that’s holding women back When workplaces picture menopause, they often imagine a woman in her mid 50s, slowing down, fanning herself, perhaps looking tired. You don’t need a research paper to see how deeply this stereotype is embedded, just Google “menopausal woman.” The images show grey-haired, older women wrapped in blankets or clutching fans. This narrative is not only outdated, but it is also clinically inaccurate. Menopause is one day: the day after a woman has gone 12 consecutive months without a period. The real impact lies in the 7 to 10 years before that day, when perimenopause symptoms begin, and the years after, when symptoms may persist. This means women in their early 40s, and often late 30s, are already experiencing significant hormonal changes that affect mental wellbeing and workplace performance. Yet these women remain invisible in workplace policies, imagery, and culture. The mental health reality: A neuroendocrine transition Menopause is not a psychological event, it is a neuroendocrine transition. Fluctuating oestrogen, progesterone, and testosterone affect: Serotonin regulation – increased anxiety Sleep architecture – fragmented sleep and emotional vulnerability Prefrontal cortex functioning – brain fog, word-finding difficulty, slower processing These changes are measurable, predictable, and clinically recognised. The data is clear: Seventy-three percent of working women aged 40 to 60 experience menopause symptoms (Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD) 2023). Symptoms strongly associated with mental wellbeing include anxiety, low mood, sleep disturbance, cognitive impairment, and loss of confidence. The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) 2025 evidence review confirms menopause can impair confidence, wellbeing, and, though less often, job performance. 1 in 10 women leave the workplace due to menopause symptoms (All-Party Parliamentary Group (APPG)/CIPD). These are not “soft issues.” They are workforce issues. The symptoms no one talks about, but every workplace must understand Heavy, unpredictable bleeding: Perimenopause often brings erratic cycles and heavy menstrual bleeding. Women describe bleeding through clothes during meetings, needing to leave work abruptly, or feeling constant anxiety about access to toilets. This is not a minor inconvenience, it is a major psychological burden that affects confidence and participation. Musculoskeletal pain: Hormonal changes affect collagen and joint stability. Many women experience joint stiffness, frozen shoulder, back pain, and reduced mobility. These symptoms directly impact comfort, productivity, and mental wellbeing, yet they are rarely acknowledged in workplace policies. Cognitive changes that affect visibility and confidence: Brain fog and word-finding difficulty don’t just affect memory, they affect credibility. Women describe losing their train of thought mid-presentation, forgetting key points during pitches, stumbling over familiar words, blanking in high-pressure meetings, and avoiding speaking up due to fear of “freezing.” These symptoms strike hardest in moments when women need to appear sharp and authoritative. For senior women, this can be devastating. The midlife pressure sandwich Alongside hormonal change, many women are navigating ageing parents needing care, teenage children facing exam stress or mental health challenges, empty nest transitions, relationship changes, and financial pressures. This combination creates a mental load younger generations don't experience. Why one-size-fits-all mental health support fails Generic mental health strategies assume symptoms are psychological. Menopausal symptoms are biopsychosocial, hormonal, cognitive, emotional, and contextual. Younger employees may face burnout or stress. Menopausal women face all of that plus cognitive changes, sleep disruption, vasomotor symptoms, urogenital symptoms, heavy bleeding, musculoskeletal pain, ageist stereotypes, fear of stigma, midlife caregiving pressures, and relationship strain. This is why menopause must be treated as a distinct mental wellbeing category, not folded into general mental health provision. Menopause action plans: Now a legal requirement From Spring 2027, under the Employment Rights Act 2025, large employers (250+ employees) must publish a Menopause Action Plan. This marks a shift: menopause support is now a formal workplace responsibility, not a discretionary wellbeing initiative. But action plans alone are not enough. Without clinical depth, manager training, and cultural change, they risk becoming tick-box exercises. What effective support looks like Evidence-based adjustments: flexible start times, temperature control, quiet spaces for cognitive reset, hybrid working options, review of meeting culture, and access to specialist menopause support. Manager training: managers must understand the biopsychosocial nature of symptoms, how symptoms present in meetings and deadlines, how to hold sensitive conversations, and how to create psychological safety. A personalised approach: The missing piece Signposting women to a webinar is a start, but it is not enough. Every woman experiences menopause differently. Every woman carries a different life load. Every woman needs a tailored approach. Specialist menopause coaching Working with a credible health professional, such as a pharmacist-led menopause coach, provides personalised discussion of hormonal and non-hormonal treatments, guidance on supplements and lifestyle interventions, tailored strategies for cognitive symptoms, sleep, musculoskeletal pain, and heavy bleeding, support in navigating workplace conversations, and advocacy when women feel unable to speak up themselves. This nuanced approach is the most effective way to keep experienced, highly skilled women thriving in the workplace. Organisations have a unique opportunity to move beyond compliance and create truly supportive, clinically informed environments. The most powerful step of all is personalised support, because no two women experience menopause the same way. For personalised workplace menopause coaching or organisational support, connect with Suzi Rose on LinkedIn. Follow me on Instagram, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Suzi Rose Suzi Rose, Menopause Coach & Specialist Oncology Pharmacist Suzi Rose is a specialist oncology pharmacist and certified menopause coach with over two decades of clinical experience. Working in breast cancer services, where many women experience treatment‑induced menopause, inspired her to deepen her menopause expertise and support women through this transition with clarity and compassion. She is the founder of The MenoPharm, a pharmacist‑led menopause coaching service dedicated to improving women’s health and wellbeing. Suzi blends medical knowledge with personalised coaching to help women understand their symptoms, explore treatment options, and feel supported every step of the way. She also writes and speaks on menopause, advocating for better awareness in healthcare and workplaces.

Written by Dr. Nina Jatuparisuthiseen, Acupuncturist Dr. Kanokwan “Nina” Jatuparisuthiseen is a board-certified and licensed acupuncturist, a Certified Sports Medicine Acupuncture® practitioner, and the founder of Nina Acupuncture. Her work is known for its clinical precision, individualized care, and effective results for pain, stress-related conditions, and well-being. Longevity has become one of the most discussed topics in modern wellness, leadership, and performance culture. But longevity is not simply about extending lifespan. It’s about extending health span: the years we live with energy, clarity, and emotional resilience. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, life expectancy in the United States was 79 years in 2024, 81.4 years for women and 76.5 years for men. At the same time, national initiatives such as Healthy People 2030, led by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, reflect a meaningful shift in healthcare priorities from reactive sick care to preventive, proactive well-being. This evolution raises an important question, especially for high-functioning individuals navigating demanding careers and complex lives: How do we live longer and better without adding more pressure, protocols, or perfectionism? One answer lies not in something new, but in something rhythmic and ancient. The body clock: Where ancient wisdom meets modern science Traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) offers a framework known as the "Body Clock", a 24-hour cycle in which different organ systems are believed to be most active at specific times of day. Modern circadian rhythm science similarly recognizes that our physiology is governed by timing. Hormone secretion, digestion, cognitive performance, cellular repair, and emotional regulation all follow daily rhythms. When our lifestyles consistently work against these rhythms through late nights, irregular meals, and constant stimulation, the result is not just fatigue. Over time, this disruption can manifest as sleep problems, metabolic imbalance, mood instability, brain fog, and burnout. When we align with these rhythms, the body is better able to do what it is designed to do: self-regulate, repair, and restore. When the body clock falls out of rhythm Circadian disruption often begins subtly and compounds over time. Common signs include: Difficulty falling or staying asleep Weight gain or metabolic resistance Digestive discomfort Low morning energy Mood swings and irritability Brain fog and reduced focus In TCM, even the timing of symptoms may provide insight. For example, waking repeatedly between 1 and 3 AM, often with anxiety or restlessness, corresponds to Liver time, which is traditionally associated with processing emotional tension and detoxification. From a TCM perspective, symptoms are not random. They are signals. How to reset your body clock: Six rhythm-based practices Longevity does not require extreme interventions. It is built through small, consistent choices that respect biological timing. 1. Wake with the sun (5-7 AM) This window corresponds to the Lung and Large Intestine systems in TCM. Beginning the day with warm water, gentle breathing, and light movement may support elimination, oxygenation, and natural energy production. Morning exercise can align well with circadian biology, while intense evening workouts may elevate alertness and interfere with sleep for some people. 2. Eat regular meals, not too late (7-9 AM) The Stomach system is believed to be strongest between 7 and 9 AM, making this an important window for nourishment in TCM. Warm, cooked breakfasts are traditionally believed to support digestion and metabolism better than cold foods. Research also supports eating larger meals earlier in the day. Finishing dinner in the early evening and avoiding food within three hours of bedtime may improve both digestion and sleep quality. 3. Productive windows: Work with your brain, not against it (9-11 AM and 3-5 PM) One of the most overlooked longevity strategies is how we structure the workday. Both TCM and modern neuroscience suggest that productivity is not evenly distributed throughout the day. 9-11 AM: Peak mental clarity – Associated with the Spleen and Pancreas in TCM, this window may support focus, learning, memory, and strategic thinking. It is an ideal time for high-value work and creative problem-solving. 3-5 PM: Sustained energy and execution – Linked to the Bladder meridian, this period is traditionally associated with stamina and physical vitality. It is well suited to meetings, execution-focused tasks, or movement-based activities. Longevity is not about doing more. It’s about doing the right work at the right time. 4. Midday pause (11 AM-1 PM and 1-3 PM) 11 AM-1 PM: Heart time – Midday softness may improve emotional regulation and afternoon productivity. Eating slowly can help the brain register fullness cues more effectively. A short walk, diaphragmatic breathing, or even a few minutes of stillness can help reset the nervous system. 1-3 PM: Small Intestine time and the afternoon dip – During this time, the body is focused on absorbing nutrients from food. It is normal to experience a drop in energy levels during this period because, according to TCM, the body’s Qi moves inward to support the organs and restore the body. Therefore, it may be a suitable time for a short nap or low-intensity activities. Taking a gentle walk outside and getting some fresh air can help reenergize the body and mind. 5. Evening wind-down (5-7 PM and 7-11 PM) 5-7 PM: Kidney time and dinner – In TCM, this period is associated with the Kidneys. It may be beneficial to eat a light dinner. After dinner, consider activities that gently support circulation, such as walking, massage, stretching, or yoga. 7-11 PM: Switch to rest mode – According to TCM, 7-9 PM corresponds to the Pericardium, while 9-11 PM corresponds to the Triple Heater. Melatonin naturally rises during the evening, and its production is highly sensitive to light exposure. Dimming the lights, reducing screen exposure, journaling, or meditating during this window may help activate the parasympathetic nervous system and prepare the body for restorative sleep. 6. Sleep earlier for deeper repair (10 PM-5 AM) Deep sleep is generally concentrated in the earlier sleep cycles. Growth hormone, which plays an important role in tissue repair, metabolism, and cognitive health, is primarily released during deep sleep. In TCM, the period from 11 PM to 3 AM corresponds to the Gallbladder and Liver and is traditionally associated with restoration and detoxification. Consistently staying awake during this window may compromise sleep quality and recovery. Earlier sleep is one of the most powerful longevity practices available. The real longevity insight Before reaching for more supplements, health gadgets, or complex biomarker testing, we can begin with something timeless: aligning with the body’s natural rhythm. Your body already knows how to heal, repair, and restore itself. It simply needs time, consistency, and the right conditions. Longevity is not about optimization. It is about alignment. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Dr. Nina Jatuparisuthiseen Dr. Nina Jatuparisuthiseen, Acupuncturist Dr. Nina Jatuparisuthiseen, DAc, L.Ac., LMT, C.SMA, LE, is a board-certified licensed acupuncturist and founder of Nina Acupuncture. She holds advanced training in sports medicine acupuncture, traditional Chinese medicine, and lifestyle and wellness coaching through Harvard Medical School Executive Education and specializes in evidence-based pain management, sports injury recovery, mental and women’s health, preventive care, and systems-based approaches to long-term health and resilience. Her work emphasizes mindful, ethical, and patient-centered care.

Written by Heather Higgins, Counsellor & Grief Coach With extensive experience supporting people through grief and the professionals who work with them, Heather delivers practical, compassionate insights grounded in counselling, psychology, and emotional wellbeing. Her work focuses on helping individuals and organisations navigate grief with confidence and care. Grief can be a confusing and overwhelming experience for anyone, but for children and young people, understanding and expressing grief can be particularly challenging. Children may not always have the words, emotional awareness, or understanding to communicate what they are experiencing, and their grief can look very different from what we might expect. They may appear withdrawn, angry, distracted, unsettled, or seemingly unaffected before returning to play or everyday activities. These changes can sometimes be misunderstood as behavioural difficulties rather than expressions of grief. Supporting a grieving child or young person is not about finding the perfect words or trying to take away their pain; it requires creating safety, connection, understanding, and space for them to grieve in a way that feels right for them. Understanding that children grieve differently One of the most important things to understand about childhood grief is that there is no single way for a child or young person to grieve. Their response can be influenced by their age, developmental stage, relationship with the person who died, previous experiences of loss, family circumstances, and their understanding of death. A child may cry openly one moment and then return to playing or laughing shortly afterward. A teenager may withdraw from others, become irritable, struggle at school, lack concentration, or appear as though they simply want to be left alone. These responses do not necessarily mean that they are “not grieving”; they may simply be processing their loss differently. When adults understand that grief does not always look like sadness, they are better able to recognise when a child may need support. Recognising the hidden signs of grief Children and young people do not always have the emotional vocabulary to say, “I am struggling with my grief.” Instead, their emotions may be communicated through changes in behaviour. This might include becoming more withdrawn, angry, anxious, clingy, tearful, restless, distracted, or experiencing difficulties with sleep, concentration, memory, friendships, or schoolwork. Some children may also become particularly well-behaved or seem determined to keep everyone else happy, hiding their own emotions because they do not want to add to the adults’ worries or become “a burden”. Behaviour is communication, and when we look beyond what we can immediately see, we begin to understand what a child is trying to tell us. Give children honest, age appropriate information Adults sometimes avoid talking openly about death because they believe they are protecting children from additional pain. However, avoiding conversations or using vague language can sometimes create more confusion and uncertainty. Children benefit from clear, honest, age-appropriate explanations that allow them to understand what has happened and ask questions as they develop. Statements such as “gone to sleep” or “lost” can sometimes be confusing for younger children, particularly if they interpret language literally. It is important to create opportunities for questions and recognise that children may ask the same questions repeatedly as they process the information. All of this is normal. Honest, healthy conversations help build trust and reassure children that they are allowed to talk about what has happened. Create safe spaces for grief Children need to know that grief is something they are allowed to talk about, but they also need to know that they do not have to talk before they are ready. Creating a safe space means allowing emotions to be expressed without judgement and reassuring children that whatever they are feeling is okay. This might involve talking, drawing, writing, playing, looking at photographs, creating memories, or simply spending time together. For some children, conversation may feel too direct, and creative or play-based activities can provide a more comfortable way of expressing emotions. The goal is not to force a conversation but to make sure the door remains open whenever they are ready to walk through it. In my book Guided By Grief: From Parental Loss to Professional Purpose, I reflect on my own experience of grieving as a child, both how it felt at the time and how I understand that experience differently now as an adult and counsellor supporting children and young people. I hope sharing this perspective offers some insight into what it can feel like for a child to experience a loss they have little understanding of and why support does not always need to begin with therapy. 10 practical ways to support a grieving child or young person Supporting a grieving child is not about having all the answers. Small, consistent actions can help children feel safe, understood, and connected while they adjust to life after loss. Every child is different, and there is no ‘one size fits all’ way of supporting them, but here are some simple approaches that can make a meaningful difference: Listen without judgement: Give children opportunities to talk about their feelings without immediately correcting, reassuring, or trying to make things better. Sometimes, they need someone to simply listen and acknowledge what they are experiencing. Use honest and simple language: Avoid language that could create confusion, and allow children to ask questions, even when those questions feel difficult or uncomfortable to answer. By modelling open and honest conversations about death and bereavement, we can show children that these are not topics they need to fear or avoid. When adults demonstrate that it is okay to talk about loss, children are more likely to learn that their own thoughts, questions, and emotions are also safe to share. Reassure them that their feelings are normal: Children might experience feelings such as sadness, anger, guilt, fear, confusion, relief, or even moments of happiness while grieving. Reassuring them that different emotions can coexist can help reduce the fear that they are grieving “wrong.” Maintain routine where possible: Familiar routines can provide children with a sense of safety and stability during a period when so much may feel uncertain. Maintaining school, activities, friendships, hobbies, and everyday routines can provide moments of normality without suggesting that they should simply “move on.” Give them choices and control: Loss can make children feel as though many things are happening beyond their control. Offering small choices, such as whether they want to talk, what activity they would like to do, or whether they want to participate in remembrance activities, can help restore a sense of control. Keep the conversation open: Grief does not disappear after the funeral, and children may continue to have questions months or even years later. Let them know that they can continue talking about the person who died and that there is no expiry date on their grief. Remember that play is important: Children may move between grief and play very quickly. This is not necessarily avoidance. Play can provide a natural way for children to regulate emotions, process experiences, and experience moments of normal childhood. Remember significant dates: Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and milestones can bring grief to the surface again. Acknowledging these dates can help children feel that their loved one has not been forgotten and that it is okay if difficult emotions return. Involve the child in decisions about support: Whenever appropriate, give children a voice in how they would like to be supported. Asking what helps, what feels difficult, and who they feel comfortable talking to can help them feel heard and respected. Know when additional support may be helpful: Many children and young people may benefit from additional support while experiencing grief, and creating a culture where asking for help is viewed as a strength can make it easier for them to access that support when they need it. Wherever possible, involve children and young people in conversations about the support available to them and include them in decisions about what might feel helpful. Continue to check in with them regularly, rather than assuming that starting counselling means they no longer need support from the people around them. If a child or young person is attending counselling, they may not always want to share the details of what they discuss with their counsellor, and that is okay. Having a safe, confidential space where they can speak openly can be an important part of the therapeutic relationship. As adults, our role is not necessarily to know everything that is discussed in counselling, but to respect their privacy while remaining available and supportive. If a counsellor has concerns about a child’s safety or wellbeing that need to be shared, they will follow the appropriate professional and safeguarding procedures and communicate with those who need to know. Ultimately, knowing that they have both a safe professional space and trusted adults around them can help a child feel supported without feeling pressured to talk before they are ready. Supporting the adults who support them Supporting a grieving child can be emotionally challenging, particularly when the adults around them are grieving too. Parents, carers, teachers, and professionals may feel pressure to remain strong while simultaneously trying to support a young person through their loss. However, adults do not need to hide every emotion to protect children. Seeing trusted adults honestly acknowledge their own feelings in an appropriate and safe way can actually help children understand that grief is something we can talk about. At the same time, children should not feel responsible for managing the emotions of the adults around them. Supporting the adults is therefore an important part of supporting the child. Creating a more grief-informed childhood If we want children and young people to grow into adults who feel comfortable talking about grief, we need to start those conversations early. Grief is not something children need to be protected from at all costs; they need age-appropriate support, honest information, emotional language, and safe adults who are willing to sit alongside them. When we teach children that emotions are not something to fear or hide, we help develop emotional literacy that can support them through future experiences of loss and change. Creating grief-informed families, schools, and communities means giving children permission to ask questions, express difficult emotions, remember the people they have lost, and understand that they do not have to grieve alone. Creating change through conversation Supporting a grieving child does not require us to have all the answers. It requires us to be willing to listen, remain curious, and create spaces where grief can be spoken about without fear or judgement. The conversations we have with children today can influence how they understand loss, emotions, and support throughout the rest of their lives. By becoming more comfortable talking about grief, we can help create a future where children and young people are not left to make sense of loss in silence but are surrounded by adults and communities who understand how to support them. If this article has resonated with you, you may also enjoy my article, Why Conversations About Grief Matter More Than Ever, where I explore the importance of creating more open and compassionate conversations around grief, or Supporting Grief vs Trying to Fix It, where we explore the difference between trying to take away someone’s pain through grief and being there for them in a person centred way, and the difference this can make to their grieving and healing process. You can also read my interview, How Parental Loss Shaped My Work With Grief, which explores the personal experiences that influenced my professional work supporting people through loss. My book, Guided by Grief: From Parental Loss to Professional Purpose, explores my own experience of parental loss alongside the professional journey that followed. I also share practical grief education, reflections, and support through my Instagram community at @HeatherHiggins_GriefSupport. Whether you are a parent, carer, teacher, counsellor, school, or organisation supporting children and young people through grief, starting the conversation can be one of the most important steps you take. We may not be able to remove a child’s pain, but we can help ensure they never feel that they have to carry it alone. I provide grief education workshops designed to support those working with and caring for children and young people, helping build confidence, understanding, and practical skills when responding to grief and bereavement. If you would like to find out more about my workshops or discuss how grief education could support your school, organisation, or team, please feel free to send me a direct message on Instagram or email me here. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn and visit my website for more info! Read more from Heather Higgins Heather Higgins, Counsellor & Grief Coach Heather is a grief specialist, counsellor, author and facilitator with extensive experience supporting children, young people, adults and the professionals who care for them. After losing both parents at a young age, she now uses her lived experience to support others through bereavement. Her work focuses on helping individuals and organisations better understand grief, loss, and emotional resilience through practical, compassionate approaches. Through her writing and teaching, she aims to make conversations around grief more informed, accessible, and human.

Toronto, Ontario – Stacey Soans has been featured in a Shoppers Beauty campaign for a well-known cosmetics line recognized for its concealer, with the campaign highlighting the importance of inclusive beauty, diverse skin tones, and complexion products designed to meet the needs of a broad range of consumers. Stacey Soans, a Toronto model, professional golfer, and published author, featured in a beauty campaign celebrating diverse skin tones The Shoppers Beauty campaign highlights the cosmetics line’s approach to complexion beauty and its focus on diverse skin tones, reflecting the growing demand for beauty products that provide options across a wider spectrum of complexions. The campaign places emphasis on concealer, complexion makeup, inclusive beauty, and representation within the cosmetics industry. Stacey Soans is featured in the campaign imagery as a professional model, contributing to a beauty campaign focused on representation and the evolving needs of consumers across different complexions. Stacey Soans brings her professional modeling experience to the Shoppers Beauty campaign, adding to a portfolio that spans commercial, editorial, and beauty-related work. Toronto model Stacey Soans featured in a Shoppers Beauty campaign highlighting inclusive beauty and diverse skin tones The campaign reflects a broader shift within the beauty cosmetics industry toward greater shade diversity and inclusive complexion products. Concealer is a core category within complexion makeup, and consumers increasingly expect beauty brands to recognize the wide range of skin tones and undertones represented in today’s marketplace. For Stacey Soans, participation in the Shoppers Beauty campaign represents another chapter in her professional modeling career. Stacey Soans has worked across fashion, beauty, and commercial modeling while also establishing a professional profile spanning professional golf, women’s golf, publishing, and HR leadership. The Shoppers Beauty campaign featuring Stacey Soans brings together professional modeling and contemporary beauty, with an emphasis on diverse skin tones, inclusive cosmetics, complexion makeup, and beauty representation. The campaign also reflects the continued evolution of beauty advertising, where authentic representation and broader complexion ranges have become increasingly important considerations for consumers searching for cosmetics that work across different skin tones. About Stacey Soans Stacey Soans is a Toronto-based professional model, professional golfer, published author, and HR leader. Stacey Soans is the author of Fairways & Femininity, a book focused on women’s golf, golf culture, and lifestyle. Her professional background spans professional modeling, professional golf, publishing, beauty, media, and human resources. Stacey Soans continues to build her professional portfolio across modeling, golf, publishing, and media. Her appearance in the Shoppers Beauty campaign adds a significant beauty and commercial modeling feature to her work as a Toronto professional model. About the Shoppers Beauty campaign The Shoppers Beauty campaign showcases a leading cosmetics line recognized for its complexion products and concealer, with an emphasis on beauty for diverse skin tones, inclusive complexion makeup, and representation across the beauty industry. The campaign features professional modeling imagery and highlights the importance of providing beauty options for consumers with a broad range of complexions. Contact information Email: info@staceysoans.ca Name: Stacey Soans Website Instagram LinkedIn

Written by Nathalie Cabart, Life Coach and Energy Healer Nathalie is a Life Coach and Energy Healer and a former global qualitative researcher with 30+ years of experience working with women leaders worldwide. She blends cross-cultural insight, deep emotional work, and energy healing to help women in business change their inner narrative and step into their full radiance. High performers are remarkably good at keeping going. They adapt, push through, deliver, and reassure themselves that things will calm down eventually, but the body often starts communicating long before we are ready to listen. Here are seven signals we tend to override, and what might change if we started treating them as information instead. Burnout rarely starts with burnout We often imagine burnout as the moment when someone can no longer continue, but long before reaching that point, there may be smaller signals. A body that feels unusually tired. A knot in the stomach before a meeting. Irritation that appears more easily. A Sunday evening that suddenly feels heavy. A growing inability to switch off. None of these signals, individually, means someone is heading towards burnout, but they can be invitations to pay attention. The World Health Organization (WHO) defines burnout as an occupational phenomenon resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterised by exhaustion, increased mental distance or cynicism towards work, and reduced professional efficacy. What interests me as a coach is what happens before we reach that stage, because high performers are often particularly skilled at overriding discomfort. It’s just a busy period. I’ll rest when this project is finished. Everyone is tired. I can handle it. Usually, we can, until handling everything becomes part of the problem. 1. You’re tired, but being tired has become your normal It is not necessarily the tiredness itself that is the signal. It is how quickly you dismiss it. You wake up depleted, get moving, and reassure yourself that you will recover later. High performers are often remarkably good at functioning while tired. They compensate. They organise. They push through. Which means the question “Can I still do everything I need to do?” may not be particularly useful. Of course you can. A more revealing question might be, "When did feeling depleted become normal?" What would happen if, instead of explaining your tiredness away, you treated it as information? 2. Your body reacts to things your mind says are “fine” There is nothing particularly wrong with that meeting. That colleague is difficult, but manageable. The workload is intense, but you’ve handled worse. Your mind has a perfectly reasonable explanation for everything. Yet, your stomach tightens before a particular call. Your shoulders rise when a certain name appears in your inbox. Your jaw clenches during a meeting. Your breathing changes when you think about Monday morning. Your mind says, I’m fine. Your body seems to be saying something else. In my previous Brainz article, Why the Future of Leadership Requires Somatic Intelligence, I explored the idea that our physical sensations are not necessarily inconvenient interruptions to our thinking. They can also be valuable information. They don’t necessarily give us the answer, and they shouldn’t automatically dictate our decisions, but they can give us something worth exploring. What does my body seem to know that my mind hasn’t acknowledged yet? 3. You’re still performing, but you’ve stopped feeling alive This may be one of the easiest signals for high performers to miss, because nothing is actually going wrong. You meet your deadlines. You contribute in meetings. People can rely on you Your performance reviews may still be excellent, but something has quietly disappeared. Curiosity. Enthusiasm. Pleasure. That little spark you used to feel when a new idea emerged, or an interesting project landed on your desk. Work hasn’t necessarily become unbearable. It has simply become flat because you are still functioning perfectly well, there is no obvious reason to stop and question it. We tend to notice when performance drops. Perhaps we should also pay attention when aliveness drops while performance remains intact. Instead of only asking, “Am I still doing my job well?” try asking, "How do I feel while I am doing it?" 4. Small things have started feeling strangely big An email irritates you more than it should. Someone asks a perfectly reasonable question, and you feel immediately annoyed. A minor change of plan feels disproportionately difficult. You get home, and the smallest request makes you think, "Can everybody just leave me alone?" Then comes the guilt. Why am I reacting like this? Perhaps the more interesting question is, "How much space do I have left?" When our internal capacity is already stretched, another request does not necessarily feel like one small thing, it feels like one thing too many. Rather than immediately judging the reaction, become curious about what sits underneath it. Sometimes irritability is not telling us that the people around us have suddenly become more irritating. It may be telling us that we have been carrying too much for too long. 5. Rest starts making you uncomfortable You finally have an afternoon with nothing planned, and within minutes, you find something useful to do. You check emails on holiday, answer the message that could easily wait, or sit down and almost immediately think of something you should be doing. We often interpret this as drive. Sometimes it is, but sometimes our inability to stop deserves curiosity, too. For many high-performing women, doing has become deeply connected to identity and value. Being productive feels good, being needed feels reassuring, and being useful feels familiar, which can make doing absolutely nothing surprisingly uncomfortable. Try noticing what happens the next time you stop. Not what you do, but what you feel. Restlessness? Guilt? Anxiety? The urge to become useful again? Then ask yourself, "Who am I when I am not producing anything?" 6. You keep saying yes while your body is saying no Someone asks, "Could you just...?" and before you have even thought about it, you reply, "Of course", but somewhere inside, something contracts. Your stomach tightens, your energy drops, and perhaps there is a tiny flash of irritation before you suppress it. Your words say yes, but your body says no. This is where somatic intelligence becomes very practical. Listening to your body does not mean obeying every sensation or refusing everything that feels uncomfortable, it means including that information before making the decision. Try inserting one sentence between the request and your response, "Let me check and come back to you." Then notice what happens inside when you imagine saying yes, and what happens when you imagine saying no. The answer may still be yes, but there is an important difference, this time, you were included in the decision. 7. You have become excellent at knowing what everyone needs, except you You know what your team needs, what your client expects, and what your family needs. You know what needs organizing, what needs fixing, and what needs doing next. You anticipate, you adjust, and you take care of things. You are extraordinarily good at reading the room, but if someone suddenly asked, "What do you need right now?" would you know? Perhaps this is the quietest signal of all. Not exhaustion, and not overwhelm, but gradually disappearing from your own field of attention. Your days become organized around questions like, "What needs to happen? Who needs something? What comes next?" Meanwhile, the questions directed toward yourself slowly disappear, "How am I? What do I need? What feels right for me? What is my energy telling me?" This disconnection rarely happens overnight. It happens one ignored signal at a time. What if we treated our bodies like businesses treat weak signals? For more than 30 years, I have worked in international qualitative research, helping organizations understand people and identify emerging changes in behaviors, expectations, and culture. In business, we pay enormous attention to weak signals. It might be a small change in consumer behavior, an unusual comment repeated across interviews, or a subtle shift in language. It is something that does not yet constitute a trend but makes us curious enough to investigate, because we know that what looks insignificant today may reveal something important about tomorrow. Today, in my coaching practice, I am struck by the parallel. Our bodies produce weak signals, too, the tension that keeps returning, the exhaustion we explain away, the meeting we inexplicably dread, the loss of enthusiasm, or the repeated yes that feels like a no. Yet while organizations invest resources in detecting weak signals in markets, we can be remarkably skilled at ignoring the weak signals within ourselves. Perhaps it is time we became equally curious about both. The goal is not to diagnose, it is to notice earlier. None of these seven signals means, on its own, that you are experiencing or inevitably heading toward burnout. The purpose of noticing them is not to label ourselves, but to rebuild a conversation with ourselves. Instead of asking, "Can I keep going?" try asking, "What is this telling me?" Instead of immediately fixing the tension, ask, "When does it appear?" Instead of overriding the tiredness, ask, "What might I need?" Instead of automatically saying yes, ask, "What happens inside me when I consider saying no?" These are small questions, but they change our relationship with the information our body is constantly giving us. Perhaps we do not always need more resilience. We talk a lot about resilience at work, and resilience matters. However, I sometimes wonder whether our admiration for the ability to bounce back, adapt, and keep going can unintentionally reinforce the very behavior that gets high-performing individuals into trouble. Perhaps the next step is not simply becoming better at enduring, perhaps it is becoming better at noticing. That means noticing when our energy changes, when something repeatedly contracts inside us, when enthusiasm disappears, or when our body is quietly asking for our attention because the body rarely starts by shouting, first, it whispers. One of the most valuable skills we can develop as professionals, leaders, and human beings may be learning to listen while it still can. If this reflection resonates with you, you can read my previous Brainz Magazine article, Why the Future of Leadership Requires Somatic Intelligence, where I explore why listening to the body deserves a place alongside analytical and emotional intelligence in the way we work and lead. If you would like to explore how you can reconnect with your own signals, energy, and inner clarity, you can learn more about my work through Flowernflow. Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and YouTube for more info! Read more from Nathalie Cabart Nathalie Cabart, Life Coach and Energy Healer Nathalie is a Life Coach and Energy Healer with over 30 years of experience as an international qualitative researcher. After decades spent working with leaders of major global brands and listening to consumers across cultures, she now helps women in business shift their inner narrative, reconnect to their worth, and step into their full radiance. Through a blend of deep listening, emotional insight, and energy work, she guides women to lead their lives with clarity, confidence, and authenticity.

Written by Ann Smets, Human Potential and Soul Integration Facilitator Ann Smets is a Human Potential & Soul Integration Facilitator and founder of Soulestara. She bridges physical health, nervous system regulation, and energy alignment to support individuals and leaders in achieving clarity, vitality, health, and sustainable performance. What if one of the greatest strengths in leadership is not the ability to keep everything under control, but the ability to remain grounded when it inevitably changes? During my deeper studies of Taoist Inner Alchemy, I encountered a simple image that has stayed with me ever since: a butterfly resting on an open hand. We can enjoy its beauty, marvel at its presence, and appreciate the moment completely. But the moment we close our fist and say, “Stay,” something changes. What began as joy becomes attachment. For leaders navigating uncertainty, transformation, and relentless change, this small butterfly carries a surprisingly powerful message. Why we hold on to what works We are trained, professionally and psychologically, to hold on to what works: the winning strategy, the high-performing team, the successful business model, the state of flow, the sense of momentum. We don’t simply enjoy good things, we naturally try to preserve them. Then, often without realizing it, we begin building our sense of stability around keeping them there. The trouble is that this instinct, however understandable, can slowly turn joy, achievement, and even personal or spiritual growth into something to chase rather than something to experience. There is nothing wrong with ambition, desire, or wanting something beautiful to continue. Wanting more is part of being alive, and it often drives innovation and excellence. The difficulty begins when our inner stability becomes dependent on a particular external condition remaining unchanged. Markets shift. Teams reorganize. Careers evolve. Relationships change. Bodies age. Success itself changes shape. If our sense of wholeness depends on any of these remaining fixed, we are standing on ground that is, by nature, always moving. Taoist philosophy offers another possibility: learning to participate fully in life without demanding that life remain the same. Interestingly, modern psychology has language for something remarkably similar: psychological flexibility. A 2026 review examining 88 studies in workplace settings describes psychological flexibility as the capacity to continue moving toward valued goals despite stressors and difficult internal experiences, rather than becoming trapped in rigid attempts to control or avoid them. Perhaps the ancient open hand and the modern psychologically flexible mind are pointing us toward a similar truth. We don’t become powerful by controlling every change. We become powerful by changing our relationship with change. 1. Enjoy the butterfly without needing it to stay Imagine the butterfly landing on your hand. You don’t need to look away because you know it will eventually leave. Nor do you need to close your hand around it to prolong the experience. You can simply enjoy it. This distinction is subtle but profound. Psychologists use the term “savoring” to describe our capacity to notice, appreciate, and deepen positive experiences. A 2026 systematic review and meta-analysis of 20 randomized controlled trials involving more than 4,800 participants found that savoring interventions produced meaningful improvements in positive psychological outcomes. In other words, allowing ourselves to deeply experience a beautiful moment is not frivolous. It matters. Here’s the paradox I love: the open hand does not experience less joy. It may allow us to experience joy more fully. For leaders, this could mean celebrating a successful quarter without immediately worrying about reproducing it. Appreciating an exceptional team without assuming its composition will never change. Enjoying recognition without turning that recognition into the foundation of one’s identity. Leadership practice: When something is going particularly well, resist immediately asking, “How do I keep this?” First ask, “Am I actually allowing myself to experience this?” 2. Accept that change is not the same as failure One of the most difficult lessons for high performers is that change can feel like failure even when nothing has gone wrong. A strategy that worked brilliantly for five years may stop working. A valued employee may leave. A business may need to reinvent itself. A role that once felt deeply aligned may suddenly feel complete. Our instinct is often to restore what was, but nature rarely works backward. Taoism invites us to observe life as movement rather than permanence. Seasons change without considering summer a success and winter a failure. A river does not believe it has lost its way because the landscape forces it to change direction. This perspective has enormous relevance for leadership today. Increasingly, leadership research emphasizes adaptability and resilience in environments shaped by technological disruption, economic uncertainty, and rapid organizational change. The challenge is no longer simply to create stability. It is to help people move intelligently through instability. That begins with the leader’s own relationship with change. Sometimes the end of a chapter is not evidence that we failed to hold onto it. It is simply evidence that the chapter ended. Leadership practice: When something changes unexpectedly, notice whether your first question is, “How do I get things back to the way they were?” Experiment instead with asking, “What is this change asking me to see?” 3. Choose truth over comfort Underneath our resistance to change, the mind is remarkably consistent in the stories it creates: “This shouldn’t be happening.” “Once this changes, I’ll finally be at peace.” “I’ve lost something I need in order to feel whole.” These stories are not personal failures. They are very human attempts to create certainty in an uncertain world, but they can also keep us one step removed from what we already know. This is where a practice I call truth over comfort becomes powerful. Truth over comfort does not mean deliberately choosing what is difficult. It means becoming willing to notice when comfort is quietly preventing us from acknowledging what is already true. I know this role is no longer aligned with me, but staying feels safer. I know what I actually want to say in this meeting, but keeping everyone comfortable feels easier. I know this strategy has stopped working, but abandoning it feels like admitting defeat. I know I am chasing this next achievement partly because I believe it will finally make me feel complete. Psychological flexibility becomes particularly relevant here. It does not require us to eliminate uncomfortable thoughts or emotions before acting. Instead, it asks whether we can make room for discomfort while still choosing an action aligned with what genuinely matters. That is very different from waiting until everything feels comfortable. Leadership practice: Ask yourself one question: “What is true underneath what I want to be true?” Then be quiet long enough to hear the answer. 4. Stop forcing the river One of the Taoist concepts I return to again and again is wu wei. It is sometimes translated as “nonaction” or “effortless action,” although neither translation captures its full richness. Wu wei is not passivity. It is not sitting on the sofa waiting for the universe to update your business plan. It points instead toward action that is less forced, less coercive, and more aligned with the conditions that are actually present. This can feel counterintuitive in leadership cultures that reward pushing, controlling, and relentlessly driving outcomes. Yet sometimes more force creates more resistance. We see it in organizations when leaders try to preserve a strategy whose time has passed. We see it in teams when control replaces trust. We see it in ourselves when we keep pushing through exhaustion because stopping feels like weakness. The river doesn’t stop moving when it encounters a rock. But neither does it spend the rest of its existence arguing with the rock. It adapts. It finds another path. Leadership practice: When you notice yourself forcing an outcome, ask, “Does this situation need more effort, or does it need a different relationship with effort?” Sometimes the wisest action is still decisive action. Wu wei simply reminds us that decisive does not have to mean forceful. 5. Don’t build your identity around your latest success There is another reason the butterfly metaphor matters so much for high performers. Success is intoxicating. The promotion, the launch, the recognition, the financial milestone, or the breakthrough can create a wonderful surge of satisfaction. There is nothing wrong with enjoying any of it. But psychology also recognizes hedonic adaptation: our tendency, to varying degrees, to adapt to changed circumstances. Research has found that some of the happiness associated with positive life changes can diminish over time as the extraordinary gradually becomes normal and our aspirations begin moving toward the next thing. This may explain something many successful people eventually discover: the destination they were certain would make them feel complete somehow becomes another starting line. The problem isn’t success. The problem is asking success to tell us who we are. When our identity becomes attached to being the successful leader, the indispensable expert, the growing company, or the person who always knows what to do, change becomes threatening not only to our circumstances but also to our sense of self. Taoist wisdom repeatedly brings us back from accumulation toward simplicity. Perhaps the deeper question is not, “What have I achieved?” It is, “Who am I when the achievement is no longer there to introduce me?” Leadership practice: Celebrate what you have created. Then notice whether you can appreciate the achievement without needing it to define you. 6. Return to what doesn’t move before you react This leads to perhaps the deepest question in the entire practice: What is it within me that doesn’t change? Our thoughts change. Emotions change. Circumstances, relationships, roles, beliefs, and identities evolve throughout a lifetime. Yet we can become aware of all of these changes. Taoist Inner Alchemy invites us away from constant identification with the surface movements of life and toward a deeper inner awareness. This is not something I believe we need to intellectualize. It can be experienced much more simply through the body and breath. Before an important meeting, between calls, or after receiving difficult news, take sixty seconds. Feel your feet. Soften the body. Allow the breath to slow naturally. Notice what is happening inside you before deciding what to do about it. There is scientific support for the physiological value of this kind of pause. A large systematic review and meta-analysis of voluntary slow breathing, drawing on more than 200 studies, found increases in measures of vagally mediated heart rate variability during and after slow breathing practices. These measures are associated with parasympathetic regulation and the body’s capacity to adapt to changing demands. Ancient traditions did not speak in the language of heart rate variability or autonomic regulation. They simply understood the value of returning to centre. Leadership practice: Before responding to something emotionally charged, give yourself one minute in which nothing needs to be solved. Feel first. Breathe. Then respond. That minute can change the quality of everything that follows. 7. Lead with an open hand Eventually, the butterfly teaching moves beyond our relationship with ourselves. It changes the way we lead other people. An open-handed leader can care deeply without controlling everything. They can build an extraordinary team without treating talented people as possessions. They can mentor someone knowing that one day that person may outgrow the role. They can create a vision passionately while remaining willing to change the route when reality provides new information. This is not detached leadership. It may actually be a more loving form of leadership because it allows people, ideas, and organizations to evolve. Control asks, “How can I keep this exactly as it is?” Leadership asks, “What does this need in order to become what it is capable of becoming?” Those are very different questions. Perhaps this is one of the great paradoxes of leadership: when we loosen our grip, we do not necessarily become less committed. We become more available, more responsive, more curious, and more able to meet what is actually happening instead of constantly comparing it with what we hoped would happen. Leadership practice: Look at one person, project, or outcome you are holding particularly tightly. Imagine opening your hand around it, not abandoning it, simply releasing the demand that it unfold exactly as you planned. Notice what becomes possible. What remains when everything else changes? Perhaps this is the question beneath all seven lessons. What remains when the title changes? When the company changes? When the relationship changes? When the body changes? When the thing we worked so hard to create becomes something different from what we imagined? We spend enormous amounts of energy trying to create certainty around circumstances that were never designed to remain still. But what if genuine stability isn’t created by finally arranging the outside world perfectly? What if it comes from developing such a deep relationship with ourselves that we can remain present even while the outside world rearranges itself? That, to me, is where ancient wisdom and modern leadership begin to meet. Psychological flexibility teaches us that we can experience discomfort without becoming controlled by it. Research into savoring reminds us that we can fully appreciate positive experiences rather than rushing past them toward the next achievement. The physiology of breath reminds us that the body itself can become part of how we meet pressure and change. Taoist wisdom adds something quieter: Don’t close your hand. Coming full circle The deeper we go in exploring what remains constant beneath the noise of changing circumstances, the more this work seems to bring us not further away from ourselves, but back home. Steadier. Freer. Less at the mercy of the next good or bad thing that happens. Perhaps, paradoxically, more able to love what is here. The butterfly is still welcome to land. We can admire its colors, feel the delicate touch of its feet against our skin, and allow ourselves to be completely enchanted by its presence. We just don’t need to close our hand around it anymore. Ready to lead from the inside out? This understanding sits at the heart of the work I share with people who are ready to move beyond managing life exclusively from the thinking mind. Through Taoist Inner Alchemy, Qigong, Chi Nei Tsang, breathwork, and energetic practices, I help people reconnect with the deeper intelligence of the body, heart, and inner self, creating greater space for clarity, vitality, and conscious choice. Because true steadiness does not come from creating a life in which nothing changes. It comes from discovering the place within you that can remain present while everything does. If you feel called to explore this work more deeply, I invite you to discover my sessions and programs. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Ann Smets Ann Smets, Human Potential and Soul Integration Facilitator Ann Smets is a Human Potential & Soul Integration Facilitator and founder of Soulestara, working at the intersection of physical health, nervous system regulation, and energy alignment. With a background in Taoist healing practices and body-based therapies, she bridges ancient wisdom with modern life. Her approach focuses on creating lasting transformation by working through the body, the subconscious, and the energetic system. Her mission is to guide people into a more conscious way of being, where clarity, energy, health, and fulfilment naturally emerge.