Why This Time Requires The Cultivation Of Boundaries, Not The Building Of Walls
- Jul 24, 2023
- 4 min read
Written by: Traci Philips, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We are in a catalytic time. Because of this, we may be finding ourselves, and experiencing others, feeling and demonstrating higher degrees of restlessness, impatience and even anger and sadness.
The most core and prolonged imbalances within the world and ourselves are surfacing, causing powerful emotions, confusion, destruction, inconvenience and a fundamental need for us to make different choices. We are, in many ways, uncomfortably aware of what isn't working, what needs to shift and be addressed and reorganized. We are also very tired. The past three years have many feeling raw and without the necessary energy to tackle the large number of changes that need to be made. Things are coming apart, to be sure, but could it be a chance for us to come together in healthier and more authentic ways?
All of this has us becoming more acutely aware of our boundaries, or lack of them, when it comes to particular situations, our time, energy and relationships. At times like these, it is more important than ever to consider our choices.
Where might we be telling ourselves stories that inhibit our ability to take right action for ourselves?
Where can we best support ourselves by taking a future forward stance and be disciplined and persistent about creating a plan to be better aligned with what we truly want from our life experiences?
Where can we be self-respecting, bold and unapologetic in our communications around what works for us and what does not?
We are not victims unless we choose to interpret our lives through this lens
Walls are what we build to protect ourselves when we do not take the time to define and clearly and consistently communicate and uphold our boundaries. I know this in my own life, far too well. This is a highly chaotic time in which we find ourselves. All periods of transition are. We can choose to create something better, or we can make decisions that perpetuate more of the same. We can resist opportunities that come along because they go against our imprint for comfort, or we can allow them to inform us and bravely choose to forge a new, uncharted path. Change can be challenging and can have us tested at every turn, but within it lies the potential for growth and improvement. It is clear we are feeling called to complete things. Anything that is laying around our lives without a purpose, passion or a place is an energy drain. Unfinished business needs to be completed and released. Putting it off only causes more loss to our precious energy stores and our vitality. Being present for what we truly want requires us to address what we've been putting off and create clear boundaries around what supports and fuels us. Are there things draining your energy that need to be said, done or completed?
Commit to tackling them now
Where our emotions are showing us places that need to be acknowledged within ourselves and in our lives, we have the chance to become proactive about how we handle them and move them to a place that feels and is better for us. If we don't, they will, unconsciously, become the very areas where we will build walls.
Boundaries are a "we" game
Walls are a "me" versus "you" game
Boundaries are about deciding, communicating and taking responsibility for what we need. Beyond simply setting a boundary, however, it's about working to still connect, understand and be generous with others in our environment. As we determine what is right for each of us, it's important not to weaponize experiences and our responses to situations that make us uncomfortable. If we do, we risk perpetuating and spreading the discomfort to those around us and within ourselves. If something causes us stress, it is essential to take the steps to repair and make it right without making it worse. The times we are in are a tremendous invitation to figure out how to best do this.
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Traci Philips, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine As an Executive Leadership & Performance Strategist, Traci Philips supports visionary business owners and corporate executives to learn and practice better communication, resolution strategies, decision-making, and leading during times of change and when the stakes are high. A three-year stint co-facilitating a men's transformational program for industry leaders incarcerated in Federal Prison taught Traci more than she could ever have learned elsewhere about high-stakes leadership and the cost of bad decision-making. This experience fueled a passion in her to help top leaders learn what they needed to know so they wouldn't end up losing what matters most. Her ultimate goal is to support her clients to live authentically and lead powerfully by creating more awareness about who they are, how they want to be seen, and what legacy they want to leave behind. Traci is the co-host of Eavesdrop in the Moment, a bi-weekly podcast that discusses current trends and leadership. Her book, Looking In: Discover, Define and Align the True Value of Your Life, Leadership and Legacy is helping leaders around the globe increase their confidence and self-identity to meet leadership demands and their personal performance potential.
