Why After Healing, Comes Rest and Why You’re Not Lazy
- Brainz Magazine
- Aug 29, 2025
- 6 min read
Updated: Aug 30, 2025
Written by Lorraine Kenlock, Holistic Psychotherapist
Lorraine Kenlock is a Turks & Caicos-based psychotherapist specializing in trauma, ADHD, and mind-body nutrition. With advanced training in EMDR and somatic therapies, she helps clients across the Caribbean heal through culturally-attuned online and in-person sessions."
Healing is often spoken of in terms of bravery, transformation, and resilience. We celebrate the person who survives illness, who comes out of trauma therapy lighter, who finally leaves a toxic relationship, or who journeys through grief and finds their way back to joy. What we don’t talk about nearly enough is what happens after the healing itself, the quiet, disorienting, and sometimes frustrating season of rest.
Many people who undergo significant healing, whether physical, mental, or spiritual, are startled to find themselves feeling tired, sometimes more fatigued than they’ve ever been. They question themselves:
“Why do I feel like I could sleep for days? Why do I have no energy to do all the things I put on hold while I was sick, hurting, or in survival mode? Shouldn’t I feel stronger now?”
And when those questions meet the fast-paced, productivity-obsessed culture we live in, they quickly turn into shame:
“Maybe I’m just lazy. Maybe I’m not as strong as I thought. Maybe I should push harder.”
This is where I want to pause with you, reader, and offer a gentle truth:
You are not lazy. You are healing. And your body is asking to catch up.
The hidden labour of healing
Healing, in any form, is not passive. It is labour.
Think of a wound closing. On the surface, it may look simple. Still, beneath the skin, an orchestra of processes is at work: blood clotting, tissue regeneration, immune responses, nerve repair. Healing requires energy, focus, and time. The same is true for emotional and psychological wounds. When you begin to process trauma, sit with grief, or release long-held stress, your brain and nervous system undergo immense work. For instance, when you're processing trauma, your brain is working hard to reframe memories and stabilize your nervous system. When you're sitting with grief, your brain is working to integrate the lessons and stabilize your nervous system in its new state. When you're releasing long-held stress, your brain is working to relearn patterns of safety and stabilize your nervous system in its new state. Neural pathways are rewired, hormones rebalanced, and patterns of safety relearned.
For many people, healing is like carrying a heavy backpack uphill for years. When you finally take it off, the relief is immense, but so is the fatigue. Your muscles ache from what they carried. Your lungs burn from the climb. And your body insists: Now we must rest.
Why rest feels like exhaustion
When the body has been in a prolonged state of survival, whether from illness, trauma, or chronic stress, it diverts energy to simply keeping you alive, systems like digestion, reproductive health, and deep immune repair often go quiet because survival takes priority.
Once safety is re-established, these systems come back online. But doing so requires fuel and downtime. The tiredness you feel isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s your body rerouting energy back into the processes it had to postpone.
From a psychological standpoint, rest is also about integration. After breakthroughs in therapy or spiritual awakenings, your mind needs time to integrate the lessons, reframe memories, and stabilise the nervous system in its new state. Exhaustion is part of that recalibration.
Rest is not laziness
We live in a culture that worships busyness. Productivity is often equated with worth, and exhaustion with virtue. In such a culture, stillness feels suspicious. Rest becomes guilt-ridden.
But let’s be clear: rest is not idleness. It is not indulgence. It is not a failure.
Rest is not a passive state, but an active process of recovery. It is the space in which:
Cells regenerate. Your body literally repairs itself during sleep and stillness, validating the importance of these restful states in your healing journey.
The nervous system resets. Rest allows your parasympathetic system to enter the “rest and digest” mode to balance the hypervigilance of stress.
Emotions integrate. Quiet moments give your brain the chance to consolidate experiences, much like files being saved on a computer.
Energy replenishes. Just as a muscle must rest after exercise to grow stronger, so must your whole being after healing work. When you're healing, your body is using a lot of energy to repair and recover. Rest allows your body to replenish this energy, making you stronger and more resilient in the long run.
You are not lazy for needing this. You are wise for honouring it.
Signs your body is catching up
Sometimes, understanding the signs helps ease the guilt. Here are common ways rest manifests after healing:
Increased sleep. You may sleep longer hours or need naps.
Mental fog. Your brain feels slower as it recalibrates.
Physical heaviness. Your limbs may feel weighted, even if you haven’t exerted yourself.
Heightened emotions. Fatigue makes space for softer feelings, tears, tenderness, and gratitude.
Cravings for solitude. Social energy wanes as your system directs resources inward.
These are not setbacks. They are messages. They are the body’s way of saying: I’m working behind the scenes. Give me time.
Cultural shame around rest
For many of us especially those from cultures where resilience is celebrated and vulnerability is dismissed rest can feel dangerous. In Caribbean communities, for instance, there’s often a deep narrative of survival: “You push through. You get on with it. You don’t stop.” Stopping was never an option for ancestors who had to endure slavery, colonial hardships, or economic instability.
That legacy lingers. We measure our value by our ability to keep moving, keep producing, keep holding everyone else together. To lie down, to pause, to admit we’re tired feels like betraying that legacy.
But rest is also a form of ancestral work. To rest is to declare: I am safe enough to pause. I honour my ancestors by allowing my body what they were denied: peace, recovery, and softness.
The psychology of post-healing fatigue
Let’s explore this from a therapeutic lens.
Trauma recovery: When trauma is processed, the nervous system transitions from a state of constant hypervigilance to a calmer state. That shift can feel like exhaustion because the adrenaline that once fueled you is no longer present.
Depression and anxiety treatment: As symptoms lift, the body often demands extra sleep to repair neurotransmitter imbalances and re-establish circadian rhythms.
Grief healing: Grief isn’t a linear process. Even in moments of peace, the emotional labour of mourning takes a physical toll. Rest allows you to metabolise the loss.
Physical healing: Following surgery or illness, the immune system devotes enormous energy to repair. Fatigue is a sign of healing, not a sign of failure.
Practical ways to honour rest
Permit yourself. Literally tell yourself: Rest is healing. I am allowed to pause.
Set boundaries. Say no to unnecessary demands. Protect your energy as sacred.
Create rituals of rest. Herbal teas, warm baths, gentle stretches, or evening walks can help your body associate rest with nourishment rather than guilt.
Listen to your body clock. If you need naps, take them. If you crave stillness, honour it.
Nourish wisely. Healing bodies crave simple, nutrient-rich foods such as soups, fruits, whole grains, and herbal infusions.
Reduce stimulation. Step back from constant screens, noise, and over-scheduling. Quiet fosters restoration.
Rest as integration, not regression
It’s tempting to think rest means you’re “falling back” after progress. But the opposite is true: rest is integration. It’s the bridge between what you’ve healed and who you’re becoming.
Imagine planting a seed. You don’t dig it up daily to check if it’s growing. You water it, ensure it gets sunlight, and then allow nature to do its work in silence. Rest is that silent growth.
Affirmations for this season
“My rest is productive; it is restoring me.”
“I am not lazy, I am replenishing.”
“Healing takes energy, and my body knows what it needs.”
“By resting, I honour my past, nurture my present, and prepare for my future.”
A new narrative around rest
What if we reframed rest not as something earned after achievement, but as something essential to life itself? Just as the ocean has tides, the body has rhythms. Just as the sun sets each evening, we too are meant to cycle between doing and being, exertion and recovery.
After healing, your system whispers what the world often shouts down: Slow. Rest. Allow.
You don’t owe anyone explanations for this season. You don’t have to justify naps, quiet days, or low energy. You don’t have to perform wellness by leaping into busyness the moment the pain eases.
Instead, you can choose a different story: one where healing doesn’t end with the breakthrough but continues through the rest that follows: one where rest is not laziness, but liberation.
Closing reflection
If you find yourself in this stage, healing complete, yet exhausted, know this: nothing is wrong with you. You are not broken. You are not weak. You are not lazy.
You are catching up.
You are recalibrating.
You are becoming whole.
Honour the pause. The work of healing is not only in the struggle but also in the stillness that follows. Rest deeply, because rest itself is part of the cure.
Read more from Lorraine Kenlock
Lorraine Kenlock, Holistic Psychotherapist
Lorraine Kenlock is a psychotherapist specializing in trauma, ADHD, and the mind-body connection, with a unique focus on Caribbean mental health. Blending EMDR, nutritional psychology, and culturally attuned therapy, she helps clients heal from chronic pain, grief, and shame—both in Turks & Caicos and online. Her groundbreaking work bridges island traditions with modern neuroscience, offering a fresh perspective on resilience.
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