ADHD and Women – Why It’s Time to Redefine the Narrative
- Brainz Magazine
- Apr 1
- 5 min read
Yumna Zubi is a Clinical Psychologist and CEO of The Couch, a leading multidisciplinary practice in Johannesburg, South Africa. She specializes in advancing mental health care through innovative leadership and collaborative evidence-based treatments.
For decades, the ADHD narrative has been shaped by symptoms traditionally associated with young boys: hyperactivity, impulsivity, and behavioral disruption. This male-centric lens has left generations of women underdiagnosed, mischaracterized, or entirely unseen.
But today, the conversation is evolving. And as we step into a deeper, more nuanced understanding of neurodiversity, one truth becomes clear:
ADHD doesn’t look the same in everyone. And in women, it often hides in plain sight.
From deficit to difference: A new lens on ADHD
Let’s consider Sofia: a creative, high-achieving executive known for her visionary thinking and magnetic leadership. But behind closed doors, she’s overwhelmed. She frequently loses track of time, forgets commitments, and feels emotionally dysregulated, especially around hormonal shifts.
What Sofia doesn’t realize is that her symptoms aren’t “quirks.” They’re the hidden signatures of ADHD, masked by years of social conditioning and self-blame.
We’ve long misunderstood ADHD as a deficit in attention. But in truth, it’s a regulatory difference, affecting how we manage energy, emotion, time, and information. In women, this difference is compounded by hormonal cycles, perfectionism, and the relentless pressure to appear “together.”
This isn’t dysfunction. It’s a different neurological rhythm that deserves recognition, not rejection.
The ADHD kaleidoscope: Why the female experience is different
Imagine looking into a kaleidoscope—constantly shifting patterns, dynamic and layered. That’s ADHD in women: ever-evolving, multifaceted, and shaped by an interplay of biology, identity, and culture.
The hormonal influence: Estrogen plays a powerful role in regulating dopamine—the neurotransmitter closely linked with ADHD. Hormonal fluctuations across puberty, menstruation, pregnancy, and menopause cause ADHD symptoms to rise and fall. This unpredictability often leads to misdiagnosis or internal confusion.
The masking effect: Women with ADHD often adapt to social norms by “masking” symptoms, presenting as organized, composed, or high-achieving, while internally struggling. Over time, masking leads to burnout, identity erosion, and delayed diagnoses.
The inner critic: Unlike the externalized behaviors often seen in boys, girls with ADHD internalize. They experience chronic self-doubt, rumination, and shame. These invisible symptoms are often mistaken for anxiety or depression.
Emotional dysregulation & RSD: Women with ADHD often experience emotional intensity, including Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), a deep emotional pain triggered by perceived criticism or failure. This heightens relationship challenges and emotional exhaustion.
The social disconnect: Social struggles may not be obvious, but they’re real. ADHD-related impulsivity, forgetfulness, and sensory sensitivities can make friendships and group dynamics difficult, leading to withdrawal or isolation.
Strengths intertwined with struggles
“We live at the intersection of too much and not enough—too intense, too sensitive, too scattered, too slow. But in truth, we are just profoundly attuned to a world that runs on overload.” — Neurodivergent Women’s Reflection Journal
The ADHD experience in women is not a story of limitation—it’s a story of paradox. Many possess powerful strengths: creativity, emotional intelligence, intuition, and rapid problem-solving. But when unsupported, those gifts can be entangled with overwhelm, inconsistency, and burnout.
Understanding both is the first step toward balance.
Strategies for thriving with ADHD
Thriving with ADHD isn’t about “fixing” yourself. It’s about building a personalized, integrative framework that supports regulation across the emotional, cognitive, and somatic systems.
Just as every neurodivergent mind is unique, so is the path to healing. Therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all—and the path to learning, healing, and growing may look different for you. The key is to discover the approaches that meet your nervous system, your lived experiences, and your emotional rhythms where they are.
Evidence-based and integrative approaches include:
Psychodynamic therapy: Explores unconscious patterns and the roots of identity, shame, and emotional conflict—often shaped by years of feeling misunderstood.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Offers powerful tools for emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and improving interpersonal dynamics—critical for navigating ADHD’s emotional landscape.
Somatic work: Reconnects body and mind through awareness-based practices like grounding, breathwork, and movement—ideal for those who feel disconnected from their bodies.
TRE (Tension & Trauma Release Exercises): Supports nervous system regulation by releasing deep-held tension and stress through gentle tremoring exercises.
Neurofeedback: A non-invasive technique that helps the brain self-regulate in real time, enhancing focus, sleep, and emotional balance.
Art therapy: A creative, sensory-based modality for processing emotions nonverbally—especially helpful for those who think in images or struggle to articulate their experience.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Targets executive function and negative thinking loops with practical, structured tools that support daily functioning.
Lifestyle anchors: Movement, rest, nutrition, time-blocking, and screen hygiene help support nervous system health and create a foundation for sustainable well-being.
A call to business leaders: Embrace neurodiversity
In an era where innovation is currency, businesses must stop overlooking neurodivergent talent.
Here’s how leadership can cultivate ADHD-inclusive environments:
Flexibility over rigidity: Empower autonomy and self-paced productivity.
Visual tools and clear structures: Aid focus and time orientation.
Empathetic feedback: Understand emotional regulation differences.
Celebrate cognitive diversity: Recognize that divergent thinking is an asset, not an anomaly.
Creating inclusive spaces isn’t just ethical; it’s economically smart.
Visibility is not enough – We need structural change
Social media platforms and podcasts have ignited a cultural shift, allowing women to share long-silenced stories. Many are connecting dots, finding language for their experiences, and finally accessing diagnoses.
But awareness without action leads to stagnation.
Medical systems, educational frameworks, and workplaces must evolve. We need policies, language, and leadership that support—not suppress—neurodivergent women.
It’s time to rewrite the narrative
For too long, women with ADHD have contorted themselves to fit into a neurotypical world: overcompensating, masking, and questioning their worth.
But as awareness grows, so does the opportunity for transformation.
When women with ADHD are seen, understood, and supported—they don’t just survive. They rise. They innovate. They lead.
Let’s build a world that makes space for their brilliance.
If you’re reading this and recognize your own experience, or something new you hadn’t named before, you’re not alone. At The Psychology Couch, we are continually researching, learning, and committed to improving the lived experiences of women with ADHD. We’re here to understand your unique needs with compassion and curiosity.
If you feel called to share your journey with us, we’d be honored to hear your story. Your voice contributes to a more inclusive, informed, and supportive future for all women navigating neurodiversity. Click here to share your story.
Read more from Yumna Zubi
Yumna Zubi, Clinical Psychologist and CEO of The Couch
Yumna Zubi is a Clinical Psychologist and CEO of The Couch, a leading multidisciplinary practice in Johannesburg, South Africa. With over a decade of experience in private practice, she has established a reputation of ethical integrity, collaborative efforts, innovation and advocacy across academic, clinical and business spaces. Her commitment to transforming challenges into opportunities drives her work in business, leadership and mental health care, ensuring lasting healing, learning and growth.
