Coming Home to Our Roots – The Blueprint That Shapes Us
- Brainz Magazine
- 11 hours ago
- 5 min read
Written by Nelum Dharmapriya, Doctor & Health Coach
Dr Nelum Dharmapriya is a Brisbane-based GP with a special interest in metabolic health, menopause, and lifestyle medicine. She combines 30 years of clinical experience with a personal passion for helping women thrive in midlife and beyond.
As I embark on a visit to my country of birth, Sri Lanka, after a seven-year absence, I find myself reflecting deeply on the meaning of home. This reflection was unexpectedly sparked by an essay my son wrote ten years ago, as a Year 12 student, on what “home” truly means. Reading his words again reminded me that home is not just a place we return to, it is something we carry within us, shaped by memory, experience, and identity.
This return has also made me think about how profoundly our early years shape us. Where we grew up, how we grew up, and the environment we were immersed in during childhood form the first blueprint for our lives. From those early experiences, we learn how to behave, how to relate to others, how to cook, how to celebrate, how to respond to challenges, and how to see ourselves in the world.
Our traditions, culture, beliefs, language, food, family dynamics, and social norms quietly programme us, often long before we are aware of it. And wherever we go in the world, that blueprint comes with us.
Growing up amid uncertainty
I did not leave Sri Lanka because it was carefully planned. I left because of circumstances beyond my control. In the late 1970s and 1980s, political turmoil gripped the country. Schools and universities were closed for long periods, in some cases for up to two years. Violence became part of daily life. Curfews were common. News reports regularly spoke of deaths and unrest. The riots of the 1980s left deep scars, not just on the nation, but on families and young people trying to imagine a future.
Growing up in that environment shapes you early. Living with uncertainty teaches resilience, adaptability, and courage. These experiences become part of your internal wiring, not because you choose them, but because they are necessary. For many of us, migration was not simply about opportunity, it was about safety, education, and the hope of a more stable future.
From Sri Lanka to Scotland
From tropical Sri Lanka, I moved to the north of Scotland, to Aberdeen, to study medicine. The contrast could not have been greater. Warmth was replaced by icy winds, familiar rhythms by quiet streets, and familiar accents by strong Aberdonian dialects I initially struggled to understand.
I was far from family, far from familiar food and language, and suddenly very aware of being different. I had to adapt quickly to a new culture, a demanding profession, and a system that was not designed with someone like me in mind.
Alongside kindness and support, I also experienced racism. I was called “paki”, a word intended to reduce and dehumanise. On one occasion, as a junior doctor doing a home visit, a father refused to allow me to examine his daughter because of the colour of my skin.
These moments were painful. But I made a conscious decision early on. I would not allow ignorance or fear from others to define my worth or diminish my pride in where I came from. My roots were not something to apologise for. They were a source of strength, resilience, and perspective.
Identity across generations
That sense of pride mattered deeply when it came to my children. My sons grew up knowing that their brown skin was something to appreciate, not question or shrink from. Identity was never framed as a burden, but as something to stand in with quiet confidence.
Our roots are not just personal, they are generational. How we hold our identity teaches the next generation how to hold theirs.
Another beginning: Australia
Moving to Australia marked yet another fresh start. I became the first doctor in a new medical centre that had struggled to recruit a GP. Once again, I was building trust from the ground up.
Most patients were welcoming, but there were moments that reminded me how deeply ingrained bias can be. On one occasion, a woman insisted she would only see a doctor with an English name. When she heard mine, she left without being seen.
When the receptionist apologetically told me what had happened, my response was simple.
“It’s her loss.”
That response did not come from defensiveness or anger. It came from being deeply anchored in who I was.
Roots as strength, not limitation
Our early experiences, both joyful and difficult, shape us in ways we may not fully recognise. They influence how we show up in the world, how we respond to challenge, and how we relate to others.
When people migrate, they do not arrive empty-handed. They bring rich histories, resilience, adaptability, and perspective. These lived experiences enrich the societies they become part of, creating diversity, inclusion, and a vibrant exchange of ideas and values.
We should never apologise for our roots. At the same time, honouring our heritage does not mean holding onto everything unquestioningly. Some beliefs or experiences we grow up with can be limiting. They may keep us bound by fear, silence, obligation, or a narrow definition of who we are allowed to be.
So how do we know what to shed?
A simple guide helps.
Does this belief expand me or shrink me?
Does it allow growth, or does it keep me bound by fear or smallness?
Does it align with the person I am becoming?
Letting go of what no longer serves us is not a rejection of our culture. It is evolution.
Coming home
As I return to my country of birth, I realise that coming home is not just about geography. It is about understanding the blueprint that shaped you, the culture, the experiences, the challenges, and the strengths, and choosing how you carry them forward.
We can hold onto what is good and grounding: connection, community, resilience, tradition, and pride. And we can gently release what limits us. When we do that, we don’t lose ourselves. We come home to ourselves. And wherever we go in the world, that sense of home travels with us.
Continuing the journey
If this article has encouraged you to reflect on your own roots, where you come from, how your early experiences shaped you, and how you want to move forward, I warmly invite you to continue that journey with support.
You’re welcome to book a free discovery call with me. Together, we’ll explore where you are now, what your body and life need in this season, and how you can move forward with clarity, confidence, and self-trust.
You’re also invited to join our Whole Food Revolution Community, a growing circle of midlife women who are learning, lifting, stretching, reflecting, celebrating, falling down, and getting back up again together. When you surround yourself with women who understand the journey, everything feels lighter, and the wins feel bigger.
For ongoing education and inspiration, you can subscribe to our Whole Food Revolution YouTube channel, where we share practical, evidence-based insights on muscle building, metabolic fitness, movement, hormones, and the science of ageing well.
Our roots are not something to outgrow or apologise for. They are the foundation that shaped us, and the strength we return to when life asks more of us. When we understand where we come from, we move forward with greater clarity, confidence, and compassion, for ourselves and for others. And that awareness, that coming home to who we truly are, can begin at any stage of life.
Read more from Nelum Dharmapriya
Nelum Dharmapriya, Doctor & Health Coach
Dr Nelum Dharmapriya is a Brisbane-based GP with 30 years’ experience in women’s health and metabolic wellbeing. Founder of Whole Food Revolution, she empowers women 40+ to reclaim energy and confidence through the three pillars of science, lifestyle, and mindset.
