I Faced Death, Fear, and My Deepest Wounds with Ayahuasca And It Led Me Back to Wholeness
- Jan 31, 2025
- 4 min read
Written by Valentina Mazzei, Sound and Energy Alchemist
Valentina is a sound & energy alchemist and founder of Where the Magic Happens. With an array of certifications and mastery in her field, she blends ancient wisdom with modern science to guide to the journey of transformation. Passionate about manifestation, she shares her deep understanding, offering practical tools to harness this powerful practice.
In a world that constantly urges us to chase the light, we often forget that true transformation happens when we embrace the darkness. My journey with Ayahuasca has been nothing short of life-changing, each ceremony peeling back the layers of illusion, fear, and conditioning that once kept me from seeing my true self.
This past weekend, I sat with Grandmother Ayahuasca once again, and what unfolded was beyond anything I could have imagined.
The journey begins: A taste of bliss
My first ceremony was pure magic, bliss, enlightenment, and clarity. It felt like I had reached the pinnacle of understanding, a place so beautiful that I considered leaving the next morning, wanting to integrate that feeling into stillness.
But I was wrong.
A conversation with the shaman reminded me that the journey wasn’t over; it had only just begun. And so, I stayed.
Surrendering to the darkness
The second ceremony took me to the depths of my soul, the places I had long avoided, buried under layers of fear, self-doubt, and pain. It was raw. It was intense. And yet, in the midst of it, I found her, the little girl inside me who had been waiting all these years.
Waiting to be seen. Waiting to be held. Waiting to be loved.
She was carrying the key. The key the shaman had told me to find was the key that held both the question and the answer, the problem and the solution.
And in that moment, I understood that healing doesn’t happen by escaping the darkness. It happens by stepping into it, embracing it, and holding ourselves with unconditional love.
The lessons that changed everything
1. Surrender is the ultimate power
We fear what we cannot control, whether it’s death, change, or the unknown parts of ourselves. But Ayahuasca teaches us that surrender is not weakness; it is the gateway to freedom. When I let go, I saw the truth beyond fear.
2. We carry more than our own pain
The trauma, fears, and limiting beliefs we struggle with often aren’t ours alone. They are echoes of our ancestors, passed down through generations. In my journey, I felt their struggles and their wounds, and in doing so, I found deep compassion and the power to break the cycle.
3. Death is not an end but a transition
One of the most profound moments of my experience was facing death. And instead of terror, I found peace. The illusion of separation dissolved, and I saw the infinite nature of existence. Whether through Ayahuasca or deep meditation, facing our mortality liberates us from the invisible chains that hold us back from truly living.
4. Self-worth is found in wholeness, not perfection
For years, I searched for my worth in achievements, validation, and external success. But Ayahuasca showed me that true self-worth comes from radical self-acceptance. The shadows, the fears, and the imperfections are all part of the masterpiece that is me.
5. The real journey begins after the ceremony
The ceremony itself is just the initiation. The real work happens in the integration of the daily choices, the moments of reflection, and the willingness to embody the lessons. Meditation, hypnosis, sound alchemy, breathwork, and self-exploration have become my tools for staying connected to my truth.
The shift: A love like never before
I came back home, and something inside me had changed. I found myself crying tears of gratitude.
Loving myself deeply, purely, courageously. Feeling the energy shift within me.
Knowing, with absolute certainty, that what lies ahead is more beautiful than I ever imagined.
I am whole.
Are you ready to step into your own healing?
For those who feel the call, I invite you to embark on this life-changing journey with the masterful Shamans at Shambala Retreat in the heart of Guasca, Colombia, the sacred space where I have found deep healing, safety, and transformation.
I am humbled, deeply grateful, and beyond excited to walk this path alongside such incredible souls, combining our gifts to support healing and guide the collective back home.
If this speaks to your soul, feel free to reach out to me personally for more details.
Your healing is waiting. Your truth is waiting. And the moment you surrender, you will realize that the darkness you fear holds the light you seek.
And so it is.
Read more from Valentina Mazzei
Valentina Mazzei, Sound and Energy Alchemist
Valentina once struggled a lot with limiting beliefs, self-doubt, and a search for life's meaning.
For years, she sought acceptance, dimmed her light, and felt unworthy.
This led her to a profound interest in the healing arts, where sound became one of her greatest teachers.
As a powerful tool for meditation, deep relaxation, and energetic renewal, sound helps to move stagnant energy while restoring balance and harmony.
After her own transformative healing journey, Valentina made it her mission to inspire and empower others, especially women, by awakening their higher consciousness, helping them rediscover their true selves, and unleashing their full potential and worth through the power of energy and the magic of sound.
