How to Improve Your Communication Skills in Work and Play
- Brainz Magazine
- 3 hours ago
- 7 min read
Written by Carol Passemard, Executive Coach & Mentor
Carol Passemard is in the business of transforming lives. Her aim is to help clients discover their gifts, skills, and talents so they can make a difference in their own lives. Carol founded Breakthrough Retreat 20 years ago as a trainer in Neurolinguistic Programming, Timeline TherapyⓇ , and Hypnosis. Registered with ABNLP and ABH
Are we losing our senses? Discover why it is important to keep our senses active. What specifically they specifically mean to us and how we can develop them in order to transform our communication skills and achieve the best results in both the workplace and our home life.
Why is it important to engage and stimulate our natural senses
This two-part article series, “How to improve your communication skills in work and play.
It explores the importance of engaging and stimulating our natural senses to enhance communication in both professional and personal life.
Part 1.
I explain our communication model
Why do we need our senses to make sense of the world around us
What our visual and auditory senses mean to us
How can we develop our senses to achieve the best results?
Part 2.
We will explore the rest of our senses
What you need to know about them
How can you make improvements to benefit your communication skills
What is the communication model?
We are constantly bombarded with information that we distort, generalise, or delete.
Our conscious mind is only capable of processing a very limited amount of information (7+/- 2 bits a second).
Our conscious mind processes millions of bits of information a second.
We unconsciously use our senses to gather information dependent upon:
The matter and energy that’s around us
The time and space we are in
Our own memories
The type of person we are (meta programs)
The decisions we choose to make
The language we use
Our own attitude
Our own personal values and beliefs
This is how we create our own unique model of the world.
We perceive what we believe our model of the world might be, and create a state within us as to how things appear to us at a particular moment in time. This could be anything from being in a happy state to a sad state, and many other states in between.
Through our state of mind and our own body language, we project our behaviour to the outside world, and that gets us our results.
What are our senses?
Visual
Auditory
Kinaesthetic
Gustatory: Tastes and Smells
Audio Digital: Talking to ourselves
Visual
We see with our eyes and create images in our minds.
Since the advent of mobile phones, we spend a considerable amount of time looking down at small screens. We also use iPads and laptops to focus on the world.
What information are you missing out on by narrowing your vision to small screens?
Audio listening
Many people walk around with iPods in their ears, or headphones listening to their own inner world.
How much information are they losing out on because they are blocking the environment around them?
How to improve your visual awareness
Rosie’s Story:
Many years ago, I worked with Rosie. She was a very talented tattoo artist at the start of her career. But she had no confidence, for many different reasons.
After our workshop, Rosie was invited to work with another artist in his studio. Rosie and I had arranged a Skype call after her first day. “How did it go?” I asked her.
She was unable to look at me during our online call because her focus was entirely on her mobile phone. She was stressed because her boss had not given her feedback after she had finished work, and she plunged herself into a downward spiral of negativity, assuming she had not done a good job. To Rosie, it was all a disaster. She had failed.
“Could it be possible that your boss has had a busy day and not had a chance to give you any feedback yet?” I suggested.
As it turned out, this was the case. He was an extremely busy man. He had been delighted with her work.
Another area we worked on during our online conversations was her breakup with a long-term partner. It had left her lacking in confidence, and she believed she would never have another long-term romantic relationship with anyone else again.
During our next online call, again, she didn't look at me, instead preferring to look down at her phone.
I explained the importance of embracing our visual sense. If she could look up and out into the wider world, away from her mobile phone screen, she may see things from a different perspective.
It was not long before she told me she had started dating a member of a band who played in her local pub. Apparently, he had been looking longingly at her for months, and she never noticed until I encouraged her to do some visual exercises.
A few months later, they moved to New Zealand together, where I continued working with Rosie online.
Our final meeting was after she had been on holiday with her partner to meet up with his family in Bali, something she had been dreading because she was worried about what they would think of her.
Needless to say, she had a wonderful time, and on her return, she realised it was up to her to change her attitude and embrace the life she had. Well done, Rosie.
Learnings from Rosie’s experience
The benefits of building your observation skills every day
Look up, look out, and see something new in your environment
Embrace the wide open spaces of nature and what it has to offer
You will be surprised at what you have been missing out on.
How to improve your auditory sense: Listening
My story and how quickly we can make assumptions:
Recently, Kieron came to change my water filters. I had spoken to his boss, on the phone, earlier in the day while they were both together in the office about what I needed. I was reassured by the conversation we had, and I looked forward to everything running
smoothly.
When Kieron arrived, he appeared to be in a rush to get everything done as fast as possible, and when I asked him a question about something discussed earlier in the day, he said he hadn’t been listening and could not give me an answer to my question.
I was somewhat taken aback, and a little annoyed, as the answer should have been in his area of expertise in water treatment, and I said so. After a moment's thought, he answered my question, then rushed off to his van to get the form he had to fill in before going home.
It was then that I noticed his mobile phone, left in my kitchen, and the photograph on it of a beautiful little girl. When he returned, I commented on the photo and asked him if this was his only child.
We immediately engaged in a more meaningful conversation. He told me his wife was expecting their second child within the next two weeks, and he was worried about being so far from home. It would take him at least two and a half hours to get back.
Immediately, my assumption of his rather unprofessional behaviour working with clients changed. I now understand why his mind was on other things instead of his work.
Actively listening to what others say gives us an opportunity to make choices as to how we might respond and make a difference
When we listen to those around us instead of speaking or interrupting, we gain insight into their model of the world and can respond in a more meaningful way.
Learnings from my experience
Actively listen
Put aside everything else you are doing and pay attention to the speaker
Wait until they have finished speaking, and allow a pause
Consider what they have said and then respond
Exercises to improve your visual sense
Every day take a walk out in the countryside, or in your city
Before walking, stand still and pick a specific point to focus on
Look up to just above your eye line
As you keep focusing on the point, imagine you can see two images to the left and right without moving your head
How far can you see?
Each day, expand the width of your peripheral sense until you have a bandwidth of 180 degrees or more
As you walk, keep using your peripheral vision
See things you have never noticed before.
It’s a great exercise to do with a friend
Then compare notes
You will both see different things
Exercises to improve your auditory sense
During your walk in the countryside or city, take time to listen without your iPods or headphones
What do you hear?
It is rare, in the busy world we live in, to experience total silence; there is always something
If walking with a friend, agree to enjoy silence for a while and share your discoveries afterwards
When in conversation:
Add your visual sense, look at the person you are conversing with
Demonstrate you are listening by keeping silent while they are talking
When they have finished speaking, allow a pause before responding
Giving you time to think about what they have said and how you want to reply
Review, improve, and develop your skills
Practice, practice, practice.
There’s a whole world out there ready for you to observe and listen to.
Next time we will build on your learnings and add the benefits of kinaesthesia, gustatory, and that human sense of talking to ourselves.
Watch out for the next episode to discover more about our senses and how we can develop them.
Read more from Carol Passemard
Carol Passemard, Executive Coach & Mentor
Carol Passemard has gained many skills through her own life’s experiences. She is a trainer in Neurolinguistic Programming, Timeline TherapyⓇ , and Hypnosis. Her unique style of a 2-day intensive workshop helps people who are feeling stuck and unable to see the wood for the trees. They are often at a crossroads in their life. Carol provides them with an opportunity to get to know and understand themselves, whilst working in a safe environment. Often, clients say this workshop is an experience. It’s a place to get rid of negative baggage and learn new tools and techniques in order to make a difference in their personal and business life.
“Seeing things from another perspective has helped me massively.”
