From Silence to Strength – How OCD Tried to Break Me and What Helped Me Rise Again
- Brainz Magazine
- Jun 23
- 4 min read
Written by Hussain, OCD Advocate
Hussain is the founder of TheStrugglingWarrior.com, with over 10 years of personal experience with OCD. Holding a bachelor's degree in electrical engineering, he has been featured on influential mental health platforms such as IOCDF, ADAA, and NOCD. He is committed to helping, educating, and raising awareness for OCD and those struggling in silence.
What if the thoughts you feared the most were your own? For years, Hussain lived in silence, battling an invisible enemy called OCD, one that twisted his deepest values into relentless torment. In this powerful story of pain, awakening, and advocacy, he shares how he went from isolation to impact, and how The Struggling Warrior was born to help others feel seen, understood, and never alone.
The childhood no one saw
I was just seven years old when OCD first showed up but no one, not even me, knew it by name.
Back then, I just thought I had to be “extra careful.” That if I didn’t say my prayers perfectly, I might offend God. That if I didn’t triple-check my schoolwork, I’d somehow write something evil or wrong without noticing.
I started to reread things over and over. My hands would tremble with guilt. I’d erase words until the page tore apart. It wasn’t homework anymore – it was a minefield.
And still, I said nothing. Because I didn’t understand what was happening to me. And when you don’t understand something, you start to believe it’s your fault.
The pain behind the smile
From the outside, I looked like any other student – maybe a little too focused, maybe a little too anxious but nothing alarming.
Inside?
I was breaking.
I feared I’d written blasphemy without knowing it. I feared I’d harmed someone unintentionally. I’d walk past bumps in the road and wonder if I had run someone over without realizing. I couldn’t trust my thoughts. I couldn’t trust my senses. I couldn’t trust… me.
Even speeding cameras became a trigger. I’d hold my breath, put my hand over my mouth, terrified they’d catch me saying something offensive.
This wasn’t just “being careful.” This was OCD – a disorder that hijacks your values, your beliefs, your sense of self.
But still, no one talked about it.
What broke me… also woke me
Years passed. The guilt became unbearable. The checking, the mental rituals, the avoidance – it all became a full-time job.
I hit a breaking point.
And in that breaking… came awakening.
I finally stumbled upon the word OCD – not the joke version. Not the “I like things tidy” version. But the real, raw, terrifying truth of it.
For the first time, I saw my pain reflected in someone else’s story. And for the first time, I realized…
I wasn’t crazy. I wasn’t alone. I was fighting something real.
The struggling warrior was born
That moment changed everything.
I decided I would no longer stay silent. That I would speak for the version of me who sat in the dark, terrified and misunderstood.
That I would become the person I needed when I was younger.
So I built The Struggling Warrior – a website, a safe space, a movement.
It started with one blog post. Then another. Then an ebook. Then a toolkit. And now… a community.
Every word I write is for someone who thinks they’re too broken to be helped. For the ones who’ve lost faith in recovery. For the warriors still standing in the fire, not knowing if they’ll ever make it out.
What helped me heal
OCD doesn’t vanish. But healing happens. And here’s what helped me get my life back:
Learning about OCD — Truly understanding how it operates gave me power over it.
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) — The gold-standard therapy that taught me how to face my fears without performing rituals.
Journaling my intrusive thoughts — Instead of hiding from them, I wrote them down. Tracked them. Defused them.
Building structure and routine — Because OCD thrives in chaos.
Faith and spirituality — Not as a compulsion, but as a source of grounding and comfort.
Community — Finding others who got it was like breathing fresh air after years of suffocating.
And most of all: reminding myself daily that OCD lies but I don’t have to believe it.
You deserve to feel seen
If any of this resonates with you – if you’ve ever felt like a prisoner to your thoughts – I want to give you something that helped me take my first real step toward recovery:
This simple yet powerful tool helped me track my intrusive thoughts, understand my patterns, and reclaim control, one day at a time.
You’ll get it instantly, and I’ll send you supportive emails, stories, and recovery tools along the way.
You don’t have to figure this out alone.
This fight has a name. And so do you.
OCD wants you to believe that you’re the only one. That no one would understand. That you’re “too far gone.”
I believed those lies once too. But today, I stand here–not cured, but in control. Not free from struggle, but free from silence.
If I could go back in time and tell my younger self anything, it would be this:
“You’re not broken. You’re just fighting a battle no one else can see.”
And now, you don’t have to fight it in the dark anymore.
Read more from Hussain
Hussain, OCD Advocate
Hussain, founder and CEO of TheStrugglingWarrior.com, is a passionate advocate for those navigating the challenges of OCD. With over a decade of personal experience, he has transformed his struggles into a mission to empower others. Featured on top mental health platforms like IOCDF, ADAA, and NOCD, Hussain uses his journey to provide guidance, insights, and practical tools for overcoming OCD. His goal is to inspire and support individuals to reclaim control of their lives, one step at a time.
