Finding Courage to Speak Out on Abuse and Healing – Exclusive Interview with Stephanie Mease
- May 29
- 7 min read
Stephanie Mease released her debut memoir, My Beautiful Battle, "a memoir of strength & survival, which shares a raw and unfiltered experience of surviving domestic violence. She writes to give a voice to stories untold, with a focus on honesty and resilience. She wants to create a safe place for the victims to show them they aren't alone. Everybody deserves to have their voice heard! She is currently working on her second novel, which will be a thriller/crime.
Stephanie Mease, Author and Founder of Mease Literary Co.
What finally gave you the confidence to publish My Beautiful Battle after holding your story in for so long?
For a long time, I kept my story buried because I thought silence was safer. But over time, I realized that holding everything in was impacting not only my mental health, but also my ability to fully let my husband in. Publishing My Beautiful Battle became part of my healing journey. I also wanted to spread awareness and allow others to understand the struggles I’ve faced on a deeper level. My hope was that by sharing my experiences honestly, people could not only better understand me, but also feel more compassion and connection toward anyone silently fighting their own battles. It permitted me to stop hiding, to be vulnerable, and to finally turn my pain into purpose.
When you describe the memoir as “raw and unfiltered,” what did you refuse to soften or leave out?
I refused to soften the reality of the abuse I endured and the lasting impact it had on me long after it ended. I wanted to be honest about the different forms of abuse I suffered and how deeply they affected the way I saw myself for years afterward. It impacted my confidence, my relationship with my appearance, my weight, and my sense of self-worth. There were moments where I barely recognized myself because so much of my identity had become shaped by pain, criticism, fear, and survival.
It was important to me that My Beautiful Battle stayed honest, even in the uncomfortable parts, because healing is not polished or perfect. I didn’t want readers to see a filtered version of survival. I wanted them to understand how deeply abuse can follow someone long after the situation ends, affecting not only mental health but the way a person exists within themselves every single day. Leaving those truths out would have taken away the heart of the memoir.
What have readers shared with you that confirmed this conversation around domestic violence still isn't happening openly enough?
One of the things readers have shared with me most is how much of their pain they’ve kept hidden out of fear, shame, or believing no one would understand. So many people have told me they saw parts of themselves in my story, but had never spoken those experiences out loud before. That alone confirmed to me that the conversation around domestic violence still is not happening openly enough.
One reader told me they never truly understood how difficult it can be to recognize when someone is in a domestically abusive relationship until reading my memoir. They said it changed the way they view silence, behavior changes, and the signs people often miss.
Another reader shared that their mother-in-law lost her life at the hands of her abuser, and that my story brought back emotions and conversations their family had struggled to process for years. Hearing experiences like that reminded me how deeply these situations affect not only survivors, but entire families and communities.
If sharing my story has done anything, I hope it has helped create space for more honest conversations, more understanding, and more support for people who may still be suffering in silence.
Why do you think healing after abuse is still so often portrayed as a neat or complete process?
I think healing after abuse is often portrayed as neat or complete because people are more comfortable with stories that have a clear ending. Society tends to celebrate survival once someone appears ‘strong again,’ but the reality is that healing is far more complex than that. Abuse can affect the way you think, trust, love, communicate, and see yourself long after the situation has ended.
For me, healing was never a straight line. There were periods of growth alongside moments of fear, self-doubt, anxiety, and struggling with my self-image and self-worth. Those effects do not simply disappear because time has passed. I think many survivors feel pressure to look healed on the outside while still carrying invisible battles internally.
That’s one of the reasons I wanted My Beautiful Battle to be so honest. I wanted people to understand that healing is not about becoming untouched by what happened to you. It’s about learning how to live, grow, and rediscover yourself despite it.
What helped you rebuild your sense of self-worth after leaving that relationship?
The truth is, I don’t think I’ve fully rebuilt my sense of self-worth yet. Abuse has a way of changing the relationship you have with yourself, and for me, those effects didn’t disappear once the relationship ended. I still struggle to look at myself in the mirror, to accept compliments, or even fully believe my husband when he tells me I’m beautiful. The damage to my self-worth runs deeply because for so long, I was made to feel small, broken, and unworthy.
What has helped me most is having someone beside me who continues to love me patiently through those struggles. My husband reminds me every single day that I deserve kindness, reassurance, and love, even when I struggle to believe it myself. While I may not be at a place where I fully see my own worth yet, I think healing sometimes begins with allowing yourself to be loved safely and consistently until, hopefully, one day, you start believing it too.
For someone silently questioning their own relationship right now, what signs should they stop ignoring?
One of the biggest signs people should stop ignoring is the constant need for control disguised as care, always needing to know where you are, who you’re with, or what you’re doing at all times. At first, it can seem protective or loving, but over time, it becomes controlling and isolating. Another major sign is someone consistently making you feel low about yourself, whether through criticism, dismissive comments, or making you question your own worth.
I also think people should pay attention to how their partner treats them in front of others. Cutting you off while you speak, talking over you, embarrassing you, or dismissing your opinions in front of friends and family can be subtle ways of showing dominance and control. Abuse is not always physical, sometimes it’s in the way someone slowly silences you.
Other signs can be a lack of support or care toward your feelings, achievements, or happiness. Someone who constantly puts themselves first, spends more time prioritizing others over you, ignores your successes instead of celebrating them, talks badly about you to other people, or regularly speaks down to you and questions everything you say or do can slowly destroy your confidence without you even realizing it.
I think the most important thing is paying attention to how the relationship makes you feel within yourself. If you are constantly anxious, second-guessing yourself, feeling isolated, emotionally drained, or like you are becoming a smaller version of who you once were, those feelings should not be ignored.
How do you balance being emotionally open online while still protecting your own peace?
Since writing my story, I’ve become much more comfortable opening up and allowing my husband to truly understand how I’m feeling. For a long time, I kept everything inside, but sharing my experiences taught me that being emotionally honest is part of healing, not weakness.
At the same time, I’ve learned the importance of protecting my peace. If things begin to feel too heavy emotionally, I take a step back and focus on spending quality time with my husband. He is my rock and has played such a huge role in helping me feel safe and supported. Simply having someone who listens without judgment, calms my overthinking, and reassures me that our relationship is a safe place has made all the difference.
I think balance comes from knowing when to share and when to permit yourself to rest emotionally. Being open online is important to me because I want others to feel less alone, but protecting my mental well-being and nurturing the safe life I’ve built with my husband will always come first.
What does “reclaiming your voice” personally mean to you today compared to a few years ago?
“A few years ago, reclaiming my voice simply meant surviving long enough to speak about what had happened to me. I spent so much time feeling silenced, controlled, and afraid to express how I truly felt that even admitting my experiences out loud felt impossible. I had lost confidence not only in my voice, but in myself.
Today, reclaiming my voice means something much deeper. It means no longer allowing my past or the abuse I endured to define my worth or silence my truth. It means setting boundaries, expressing my emotions honestly, and allowing myself to be seen without shame. Writing My Beautiful Battle was a huge part of that because for the first time, I stopped hiding my pain and started owning my story.
I still have moments where I struggle with confidence and self-worth, but reclaiming my voice now means choosing not to suffer in silence anymore. It means speaking openly in hopes that someone else feels understood, supported, or strong enough to speak up too.”
If readers take one message away from your story, what do you hope stays with them the longest?
If readers take one message away from my story, I hope it’s that abuse does not always leave visible scars, but that does not make the damage any less real. I want people to understand how deeply emotional abuse, control, and trauma can affect someone’s sense of self long after the relationship has ended.
More than anything, I hope survivors reading My Beautiful Battle walk away knowing they are not weak for struggling, and they are not alone in what they feel. Healing is not smooth sailing, and it’s okay if parts of you are still rebuilding.
I also hope the book encourages people to pay closer attention to the silent battles others may be fighting. Sometimes the strongest people are carrying the heaviest pain behind closed doors. If my story can create more understanding, compassion, and open conversations around domestic abuse, then sharing it will always have been worth it.
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