Written by: Dr. Michele Wells, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The words that we say to ourselves are rooted in beliefs that impact our mental and emotional health. We can choose how we talk to ourselves. Change the narrative of that critical conversation that you are having with you!
Have you ever said to someone or yourself for that matter, “What did you say?” I am asking that because we have the most conversation with ourselves. We have about 70,000 thoughts a day. We can make this a positive or negative dialogue, but awareness of our thoughts is key! Sometimes we need to ask ourselves, “What did you say?”
Even in conversations with others, we can find ourselves not listening because we are ready with our response. So, do we listen to ourselves or are we so used to negative self-talk that we live there?
In my work as a social work educator, I have often taught about the “why” question. When asking someone the “why” question there is an expectation that they know the why. Sometimes this can put people on the defensive if the why is not something they want you to know, or it is not the answer they think that they should give.
We can be driven by what others think of us. So, as we have this inner dialogue we must ask why. Why am I having this conversation in my head that is not uplifting or affirming for me? Why am I selling myself short right now? Why am I allowing fear to dictate what I believe about me right now?
As I said, when we ask why there may be something that we are willing or not willing to admit? What are we trying to hide even from ourselves at that moment? There may be life experiences or negative words spoken over us that come up in our inner dialogue. What we believe about ourselves can be based on our early life experiences or things that occurred at critical points in our lives. Belief is powerful in what we say to ourselves. Those trusted people in our lives make an indelible imprint on our mental and emotional growth. If this growth is stunted the inner dialogue will reflect that belief. Why do you believe you’re not good enough? Why do you believe you would never be accepted? Why do you believe you are not smart enough to contribute?
It is time to dig deep. Figure out where those negative messages came from and change the narrative in your life. When you dig into the “why” question what will you find about yourself? You can have a different dialogue. You choose how you will engage your inner dialogue. No naysayers allowed!
Lastly, as you engage the inner dialogue take note of where you are emotionally. Was there something that occurred that triggered that negative dialogue and what is the root of that emotional response to speak negatively to yourself? Break through the obstacles of negative self-talk and have a more positive conversation with the person that you talk to the most—yourself!
“If what you want to say is neither true, nor good or kind, nor useful or necessary, please don't say anything at all.” –Socrates
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Dr. Michele Wells, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Dr. Michele is a Transformation Strategist, Speaker, and Trainer. Dr. Michele delivers powerful engagement on women’s issues, spiritual issues, goal setting, and life planning. She shares from her own personal experiences as she assists woman to move forward confidently in their lives. Dr. Michele is the founder of Courageous Voice Academy home of her signature program Bold Voice. Her desire is to see woman become the most confidently authentic and productive version of themselves by aligning their mindset with their dreams and desires.
