A Love Letter to Matchmaking
- Brainz Magazine
- Feb 13
- 3 min read
Written by Daphney Poyser, Matchmaker and Relationship Coach
Daphney Poyser is the founder and CEO of Fern Connections, an LGBTQIA+ Matchmaking and Coaching company. After noticing a lack of diversity within the world of same-sex-specific dating services, Poyser sought to create her own company founded on the principles of greater gender, sexual, and romantic inclusivity.
Matchmaking is an age-old tradition that is, more often than not, tailored towards cis-gender, heterosexual singles looking to find their husband or wife. However, what worked in the past is not what will continue to survive with us into the future.
In my love letter to matchmaking, I want to share with you my top 3 reasons why I think that modern matchmaking is revolutionizing the love industry for the better.
1. Modern matchmaking is anything but traditional
Yes, there will always be people who are looking for a partner who is open to living a more “traditional lifestyle,” but in this age of modernity, the way people are dating and getting to know each other is wonderfully unique. In my time as a Matchmaker, I have seen people become more open when it comes to dating and relationships. I think that people are more open to using technology to date safer and more effectively, such as going on virtual first dates, as is the case for the majority of our clients. I’ve seen the conversation surrounding non-monogamy and polyamorous relationships become more prevalent and positive. I believe that there is room for matchmaking to become the industry that modern singles need, not a service to conform individuals into becoming who the traditional matchmaking industry calls them to be. Matchmaking is no longer an old-hat industry, and I envision that it will only become more non-traditional as the years go on.
2. As of 2025, there is a greater emphasis on diversity and inclusion within the matchmaking industry
Queer people have existed boldly throughout history for many, many years now; however, we all know that folks who are seen as “different” or “contrary” have not always been accepted by the mass population. As a Black Woman, I know firsthand what it’s like to be judged for who you are before you’ve even been able to tell the world who you are yourself. This is why I’m so proud of the work my team and I, and our friends in the industry, are doing to embrace diversity within our community. There are more Black Matchmakers, more gay matchmakers, and more non-traditional matchmakers in the space; we have more clients who are openly transgender or asexual or two-spirit, to name a few, than I’m sure we’ve ever had in the history of matchmaking. I believe that’s something to be celebrated. Because while we may not be where we could be as a society when it comes to embracing diversity, equity and inclusion, we are still doing a pretty damn good job!
3. You don’t have to be perfect to find love, and we don’t want you to
I often meet a lot of people who say, “When I do this or when I fix that, I’ll be ready to date.” But the truth is, you don’t have to be perfect to find your person because the right person should and will love you for who you are, “imperfections” and all. At Fern Connections we don’t ask our clients to be perfect, we ask them to be open to new opportunities and experiences with other wonderful individuals who have a lot to offer to this world. We want to work with the real, authentic you because we believe that version of you is worthy of love just how you are.
If you take anything away from my Love Letter to Matchmaking, I hope that you have learned that there are people out there who are fighting for love. There are people, like myself and my team at Fern Connections, who are enthusiastically advocating for BIPOC, the Two-Spirit and LGBTQIA+ community, and individuals who are neuro-divergent or differently abled. Lastly, and most importantly, matchmaking is for everyone, and everyone is deserving of what matchmaking has to offer.
We invite you to head to our website to learn more about how you can find the love you deserve and desire.
Daphney Poyser, Matchmaker and Relationship Coach
Daphney Poyser is the founder and CEO of Fern Connections, an LGBTQIA+ Matchmaking and Coaching company. After noticing a lack of diversity within the world of same-sex-specific dating services, Poyser sought to create her own company founded on the principles of greater gender, sexual, and romantic inclusivity. Fern Connections was started in 2020 and now has headquarters in Texas and Georgia; the company services individuals nationwide within the United States.
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