Written by: Rita Hurry, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. The Spiritual Woo-woo. I know most turn away from it and laugh at the craziness of it all, but all is the internal part of you. It is the emotions, subconscious, true part of who you are, the higher part of you. It’s you! When you struggle through things that sometimes knock you down emotionally, physically, or mentally, it’s that inner strength and that inner you that gets you back up. It’s what you call ‘the spiritual woo-woo’ stuff. You are more than your external self. Everything in life that you experience is because of what is going on internally. If you carry negative emotions from the past with you right now, then guess what – that will affect what you manifest in your life both in the present and in the future. Where you are in your professional and personal life is due to what is going on within. It is what I call ‘the bouncing off stage’ to where you want to go. So, if right now things are difficult and not all rosy, then you need to do the internal work to change everything. Work from the inside out. You can never ignore what is going on internally. If you are anxious, fearful, stressed, or de-motivated, you need to clear all that negative stuff internally to overcome these. Each day is an inside-out job. There is never a day where the internal stuff is not factored in. It's the number one ‘to-do’ on the list of your priorities. So, no matter what you think of all the spiritual stuff, you need it to create that healthy balance in life. If you want true happiness and fulfillment in life, you have to factor in the internal stuff. It is the foundation of who you are. Visit me on my Facebook, Instagram, Podcast, and website! Read more from Rita! Rita Hurry, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Rita's mission is to help individuals in the Creative Arts, Media, Music, and Film Industry, believe in their dreams and never give up on making them come true. Making the impossible - I'm Possible. She began Life Coaching in 2003 and has never looked back since. She is a great believer in Personal Development and Mindfulness work, whether it is practically or spiritually. Rita is a Subject Matter Expert in Law of Attraction & Flow Coaching, Mindfulness & Meditation, Business, and Nirvana Fitness and Energy Healing. She was awarded Best Law Of Attraction Coach in 2015. She has coached many clients across different professions. For example, CEOs and Entrepreneurs; Casting Agents; Actors; Singers; Musicians; Authors; Artists, DJs, and so many more across the globe and nationwide, including those working in the education industry. She is currently the co-founder of RIME Entertainment and co-hosts. She co-produces an online Interview Show called RIME Entertainment Showcase, where she and her co-host interview people from all over the globe who have overcome hurdles in life and are now fulfilling and living their dream.

Written by: Merrill Isherwood, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Is it truly possible to forgive completely? This was a question I often asked. I recall so vividly reading a news article published in 1998 about an American anti-apartheid activist and student at Stanford University who, whilst working in South Africa as a Fulbright Scholar, was murdered in 1993 by a mob of men in Gugulethu near Cape Town. The young lady’s name was Amy Biehl, and she was a mere 26 years old. The article explained how her parents had traveled to South Africa after the incident. Despite what had happened, they continued their good work in the community, becoming involved in the upliftment of the youth through the Amy Biehl foundation they established in 1994 in honor of their daughter. Whilst splitting their time between South Africa and the USA, they attended the amnesty hearing for all four of her killers. The case was heard by the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, established in SA to promote reconciliation amongst the diverse population groups within the country. The four accused were officially pardoned and released from prison on the 28th of July 1998. Her parents publicly forgave the perpetrators for their crimes and, in doing so, changed the course of many lives, not just those of the four men, but others, including me, who heard their story about forgiveness. Two of the men subsequently joined them in their work at the Amy Foundation (the Biehl was dropped later on), and they continue to work side-by-side with Linda Biehl, who manages the foundation on her own after the passing of her husband, Peter, in 2002. At the time, I could not grasp how anyone could be capable of forgiving someone who had committed such a terrible crime. Likewise, when watching crime stories, they too depict victims forgiving their attackers for crimes committed against them. Watching these, I admit to being reticent to believe that anyone could actually forgive the person for these oft-times heinous, violent crimes. I am an optimistic soul but felt this was stretching the boundaries of belief too far. Until I underwent my own metamorphosis, it was not easy by any means. It took several months but after much deliberation and doing certain activities, I was truly able to forgive the people in my life who have victimized and broken me. There were two particular individuals - one an intimate partner, the other a manager to whom I reported. I learned through these experiences how powerful verbal abuse is and the painstakingly agonizing psychological manipulation they exerted upon me. It cannot be explained to someone who has not gone through something similar. In life, there are sometimes no words that can express the deep, inner feelings we experience. Whether from physical pain or some form of emotion. We cannot transfer our thoughts or feelings to another person for them to share with us. It is our story alone to experience, have those thoughts, and feel those intense emotions, trying to understand why we’re going through that specific experience. So, how did I do it? I did it by following these easy, but often, very emotional, steps to forgiveness: These activities can be done with the person whom you need to forgive. Otherwise, they can be done in a roleplay scenario with someone else, or you were talking to the person as though they were present. Note to self: Forgiveness is not about forgetting, nor does it mean a reconciliation has to occur. It is also not a feeling. It is a conscious choice of an action one needs to take. Step 1: Acknowledgement Acknowledge the hurt/pain/anger/anxiety caused to you through the person’s words or actions. Step 2: Consider Consider how and how deeply the hurt/pain/anger/anxiety has affected you since you experienced it. Step 3: Acceptance Accept that you are unable to change the past. Consider what could have driven the person to treat you that way. Even if you do not feel it was justified if the person is available, can they tell you why they treated you that way? If it will not cause you trauma, ask them if they know how it affected you. If not, then tell them if they will listen to you. If not, let it go. Step 4: Determine Determine whether or not you will forgive and what the potential consequences can be if you choose not to do so. Realize that spending your life with regrets, anger, hurt does not serve you well. Note: Forgiving the person for their actions is not the same as ‘condoning’ what they did to you. Step 5: Repair If the person is available and you wish to repair the relationship you had with them, how do you intend to achieve this? Are you clear in your mind why you wish to repair it, and how do you think the relationship will be between you moving forward? Step 6: Learn It is important to find meaning in the hurt/pain/anger/anxiety you suffered. What did you learn from how you felt? What did you learn from the way the other person treated you? What can you take away from the experience/s? Step 7: Forgive yourself Learning to forgive yourself is a critical step in the forgiveness journey. We often carry guilt around with us about why we didn’t do something to stop ourselves from being hurt when it was happening. We are not always in a position to stop it. The hurt may occur when you’re a child, youngster, or simply just not in a position to stop it (whether due to the other person being an authority figure/elder/relative or various other reasons). Know that if you could have, you would have, and now that you have experienced it, you will be in a position to assist someone else who has gone through it or is going through a similar experience. Let that guilt loose. It has no place in your life now. It is not serving any purpose but to hold you back. Step 8: Forgive the person Various actions can be taken physically to forgive the person who harmed you. You could write them a letter telling them how it made you feel when they were hurting you. You could explain to them the hurt and suffering they caused you then and over the subsequent years. You can tell them how it affected your relationships, your self-esteem, and your sense of self-worth. Once written, you can read the letter aloud as if you were reading it to them, then tear it up and throw it away, or go outside, to a safe clearing, and burn it. This act of destroying the letter serves to allow you to let go of the past, the hurt, the anguish, and the destruction the person caused you. You could tell them you hope they realize the extent of the harm they did to you, but that you forgive them and you wish them well. You could sit quietly and think about all they did to you and silently, feeling a sense of peace within, take a deep breath, focus on your heart, and feel the sensation within you of letting them go. Follow all of these up with a quiet moment taken to feel your heart healing from the hurt and trauma you have experienced. Feel it beating strongly, with purpose, reminding you that you still have reason to live a full and happy life. Want to learn more from Merrill? Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and visit her website. Merrill Isherwood, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Merrill Isherwood is a life transformation coach who has spent much of her life being of service to others in the corporate world and her personal life. She has an exemplary work ethic and is driven by living a life of integrity, having honesty, kindness, trust, and respect as her core values. Her psychological counseling degree, supported by her accreditation in life coaching, allows her to ensure her clients are suitably supported in transforming their lives. She specializes in body image, lack of self-esteem, overcoming abusive or toxic relationships, finding life direction, forgiveness, and overcoming adversity. To her, a life well lived means making a difference in each person's life that you are fortunate enough to touch, even if only in the smallest way possible.

Written by: Lois Wagner, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. One of my earliest childhood memories of having toys was a fabulous doll that cried. I would have been around six or seven years old, and I can still see a vision of myself standing at the garden gate waiting for my dad to come home as my doll had stopped crying, and I just knew that he could fix it. He missed the train home, and I was so angry and upset that I threw my doll to the ground in one of my early dramatic moments. And guess what – my doll started crying! My mom bought me a Sindy doll when I was ten or eleven. This was a rival version of the Barbie doll. My doll had the best wardrobe of all the dolls in the neighborhood. My sister was incredibly talented at sewing, and she made everything from swimsuits to fur coats for my Sindy. When I turned thirteen, I decided I was too old for dolls and set up a table on the pavement and sold everything related to these childish pursuits. My mom was impressed by the amount of money I made and said I had a head for business. I was extremely proud of my accomplishment. Was this when the idea of becoming a career woman was first formulated? Maybe. But it goes deeper than that. Although I had dolls, I never played with them much. I preferred to play schoolteacher or librarian. My dolls were often my students in class or readers in my library. From my first years in school, I enjoyed playing the role of teacher. I created a schoolroom in one of the outside buildings with desks, a blackboard, pens, pencils, rulers, and erasers. My mom supplied me with reams of paper which I turned into notebooks for my students. I would borrow books from my library next door to use as textbooks for my students. Nobody wanted to play with me. All my friends wanted to play pretend house and mommy games with dolls and dens. I used to bribe my neighbors to play school with me when my Auntie Anne came to visit. She always brought at least three cakes with her. And when I sold my dolls, I lost my students and stopped playing teacher. My mom used to drive the mobile library, and I would spend many hours on the library bus reading. We had a servant’s room outside the house. I turned this into a library, collecting any book, comic, or other reading material I could lay my hands on. I created a catalog and made library cards for members. I made little pocket envelopes that I pasted in the back of each book where a card was placed to write the borrower's name and the date the book was checked out. I would then retain the card until the book was returned. I would also write the return date on the envelope in the book so the borrower knew when to return it. When the book came back, the card had to found and replaced in the pocket. This little library grew to be quite successful, with many books and numerous neighborhood members for most of my teenage years. I had a very talkative and dramatic personality. From a little girl and into my late teens, I was always told to stop acting and to stop talking so much. What has this all to do with my calling? With my career? I wanted to study journalism and did not realize this dream as I met a man and chose him over education. By default, I landed a career in marketing. A successful career in marketing. I pursued this path for many years until I progressed into marketing consulting, then management consulting, and then Organisational Development consulting. I finally landed up in training, coaching, and public speaking. Training, coaching, and speaking are my life’s purposes. I am passionate about what I do, and I do it well. The lesson What is the lesson from this childhood story? Why am I sharing this? When your children and other family members, when your neighbors and friends, and when your clients are looking for guidance to decide on a career path, examine their interests and the natural talents that they displayed as children. You may find magic there. Look at the game of schoolteacher that I played. Teaching, helping others to learn and develop. Look at what I do now. Training and coaching, helping others to learn and develop. Look at my passion for books. Learning and developing a growth mindset. Look at what I do now. Learning and researching topics for my training, coaching, and speaking, Look at what people always told me to stop doing. Acting and talking. Look at what I do now. Talking and acting in training rooms and on stages (virtually and in-person). Topics And what do I train and coach and talk about? Resilience, grit, and forgiveness. These were traits I learned as a child. I had a very dysfunctional childhood of poverty, drinking, fighting, and violence. The games I played helped me escape from the realities of the real world. And it helped me to develop that resilience, that ability to make sense of the misfortunes and deal with them. The grit came when I started to focus on a new reality, find a new path, a new focus that I could follow with persistence, perseverance, and passion. And finally, the forgiveness that I had to learn to give freely and compassionately to those who did the best that they could be based on their own life journeys. The forgiveness that set me free. In future articles, I will discuss more about the journey from victim to survivor, to thriver, and beyond to freedom. For more info, follow me on Instagram , LinkedIn , Youtube-Channel , and visit my website ! Read more from Lois ! Lois Wagner, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Lois Wagner: Your friend for forgiveness. Helping you move from victim to survivor to thriver and beyond and then to freedom, after facing a life or business challenge or adversity. Lois lost a business and went bankrupt. She was attacked, raped, and left for dead. She was forced into retirement and experienced many other challenges. Her work is based on these personal major adversities and life experiences. Lois learned to forgive (she forgave the rapist and the business partner who betrayed her) and moved on to a more rewarding and fulfilling life. Lois guides you through building your resilience and grit, developing a growth mindset, energizing your mojo, and learn to forgive. This is achieved via one-on-one coaching, group masterminds, and keynote presentations. Lois’s book – Walking Without Skin: A Journey of Healing – From Fear to Forgiveness to Freedom is part memoir and self-help guide. Fly Free with Lois – Your Friend for Forgiveness

Written by: Marilda Cutrone, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. People usually think that they need to invest a fortune to launch an online business and make money. Luckily, this is not true, especially today. Take affiliate marketing, for example. This business is a low-risk business model with high earning potential. Obviously, you need to acquire the necessary skills to get started. For this purpose, you want to follow a proper program . And if you have the patience and persistence, you’ll eventually crush it. In this article, I want to give you an objective and straightforward picture to put you in the right perspective. I've identified nine reasons why you will not only fall in love with affiliate marketing but also want to get started right away. Nine Top Reasons 1. It’s cheap to get started. You don't need to invest any money in stores, accountants, shipping, or other business fulfillment. The company handles everything, and you only have to help them to get customers. What do you earn? Commissions. In some cases, you get very high commissions. Some others might be low, but you can easily manage to get many commissions daily if the product is in high demand. It is one of the most profitable businesses that you can start. You need to invest in an excellent online program to learn how to get started, what you need to do, and in which order. 2. You can work from home. The beauty of this business model is that you can do it on your own terms. This means that you can work from where you want, and also when you want. This way, you can start along with your current job, and then, when you will be able to earn as much money to be financially independent, you can quit your job and focus solely on this business. What you need is an internet connection—no need to commute anywhere, so you will soon get a better life-work balance as well. As an affiliate, you will be provided with your personal affiliate link, and through this, you start earning commissions for every sale. In addition, you can start marketing on social media; you will find the best platform for you by going through the program to acquire the skills. 3. You don’t need your own product. In affiliate marketing, you avoid the most challenging issue most entrepreneurs face: create a good product. The product is already developed and tested by the company. You need to choose a product that you really love and are passionate about and start promoting it. Simple as that, and you don’t have storage costs nor shipping costs. 4. You don’t need to stock products . In this business model, you don’t need to buy and stock products. All the work is done online and through links. Automation and app will simplify your job, so you don't need to be tech-savvy. As you refer products to consumers through your social media posts, emails, or web pages, you can also work with different companies and multiply your income streams. There are thousands of products at your disposal out there. Once you master the process, then you can do it several times. 5. You can work with flexibility. You can plan your schedule according to your or your family's needs. How many hours do you need to put in every week? It depends on your goals and your actual situation. You can start with only 1 hour per day if you'd like to. The good thing is that you will also earn residual income. So, for instance, once your business is up and running, you might have sales 24/7, 365 days, so if you go on a vacation, you will still make money even if you are not working on that activity. 6. You don’t need to worry about Customer Support. In this business model, you don’t need to handle customer complaints. The company already got a customer support team and product experts to handle the refunds and respond to unhappy customers. Your role as an affiliate marketer is to provide the company with customers or people willing to become customers. All the rest is the responsibility of the company. 7. You don’t need to worry about Competition. Affiliate marketing is relatively uncharted territory, and you can choose a niche. What does it mean? You are not marketing to anyone in the Globe, but you decide who you want to target: moms rather than elderly rather than youngsters or ironmen and so on. You choose the product; then you choose your niche, and this way, you get rid of the big competition, as your offer will always be unique. 8. You can lower the risk factor. In this business model, getting started with minimal resources also means that you don't need to worry about losing significant capital. Instead, in traditional business, you need to focus on the "return of investment" (ROI), which can be a source of immense frustration. If you have a low budget, affiliate marketing is the best option for earning low-risk and high profit. What you need is to learn how to execute it properly. 9. You can get passive income. Passive income means earning money when you are not actively involved. Affiliate marketing is probably the best way to make a passive income, especially if you start with a low budget. According to PayScale , the average annual passive income for an affiliate marketer is $51,217. The bottom 10% of affiliate marketers earn $37,000, and the top 10% earn $71,000. Not bad if you think that you can do it part-time. Don’t you think so? To wrap it up The ability to earn commissions on sales and passive income month in month out gives you massive freedom and flexibility. Now consider how our society has changed in the last two years, and you'll picture this business model's potential. There are millions of consumers buying goods and services online every and each day. Therefore, it goes without saying, affiliate marketing is undoubtedly the next big thing . If interested in joining our program, please click here . Follow Marilda on Instagram , find her on Facebook , or visit her website to learn more about the programs. You can also subscribe to her YouTube-cha nnel ! Read more from Marilda! Marilda Cutrone, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Marilda walked away from a successful 20-year career as Senior Project Manager. For many years, she felt unfulfilled: she was continuously struggling to juggle her career and family. And eventually found herself drained and depressed. Marilda massively changed her life in 2019 when she realized that developing a new set of skills in the current economy is necessary. And here is why: over $2.5 trillion per year is being spent on retail purchases online and, over the last few months, there's been a 25% increase in online sales. Marilda created her own business – Living My Digital Life – and reached a whole new work-life balance level by leveraging the digital skills. This shift would not have been possible for Marilda if she had not discovered the power of affiliate marketing. She is now the owner of her time and can build her career around the family (not a life arranged around the job as it used to be). Her mission is to empower other women to stand up for themselves and make the same shift. Hence Marilda offers a program that walks you through specific steps to learn the skills you need to create a profitable online business from scratch.

Written by: Jenn Taylor, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. If you're 6-months into your New Year goals and that piece of paper has fallen off the fridge, or you stopped going to the gym or feel like your motivation and momentum have slowed, I have eight steps to help boost your motivation. Have a plan, and be specific. Your goals can't be “I want to work out” or “I want to lose weight.” They should be written, “I'm going to take three classes at the gym a week on Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays,” or “I want to lose 20 pounds by this date, and here is my food plan”. Goals need to be specific. Remember that momentum is hard to get going. Elicit help if needed (a gym membership, classes you have to pay for, etc..). An accountability partner is one of my favorite motivators. Break your goals down into small steps. You can't eat an elephant in one bite is one of my favorite quotes. Break your larger goals into small steps. Remember that you have a purpose. You’re reinventing or rekindling a passion. There are why's to goals. Why do you want to lose 20 pounds? Why are you working out? Why do you want to earn more? So that you can be more active with your kids? To take a trip you’ve wanted to plan? Choose a specific why. Revisit your goals. It’s not uncommon to make the assumption that you have failed or given up on goals when really all you need to do is revisit and pivot the goal. Don't be too hard on yourself - pivoting the goal and changing over time is normal when setting goals. It doesn't mean that you gave up or didn't accomplish something. It means that you had to make changes, and changes aren’t necessarily a bad thing. Have a support system. This is so huge. Accountability is vital, and you need to share your struggles and successes with your support system. In the beginning, it can feel like you don’t know how you are ever going to get to the end, and that support system is for acknowledging how far you've come. We tend to look at how far we need to go - like, “oh my gosh, I have so long to go,” but we don't often look back over our shoulders at how far we've come. Love what you do and do what you love. If it’s exercise, and you chose walking, and you hate to walk, but you love Zumba, why aren’t you doing Zumba? Don't do things that you don't like - you're setting yourself up not to do well. Goals are hard, but you can still make them fun. There's no failure, only feedback. This is one of my favorite sayings. We’re really, really hard on ourselves. Remember - there's no failure, only feedback. When you miss something or take a couple of days off, or you're struggling, if you think about it as feedback , instead of saying, “I messed up, I failed,” you can instead become curious about why, what it means, decide if you need to pivot and move forward. There are so many more suggestions than 8 tips on how to stay motivated with your goal. Let me know how you stay focused on your goals! I can’t wait to hear from you. For more info, follow Jenn on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn and visit her website ! Read more from Jenn ! Jenn Taylor, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Jenn Taylor is Mom Of 18 (yes, 18 kids!), a Transformational Coach for Christian Women, and the host of At A Crossroads with The Naked Podcaster - a 4-year podcast to uplift others in their struggles. Her goal is to help others get through life’s struggles faster, easier, and with more support (and joy!). Jenn is also a motivational speaker, has written the blog "Mom’s Running It" for over 9 years, and is a published author of a self-help memoir "Hello, My Name Is... Warrior Princess" - which she will email to you as a pdf for free. She is also married to an amazing man in Reno, NV, is a runner, minimalist, and healthy lifestyle enthusiast. If you’ve attended events or heard speakers in the past and gotten excited about making changes only to return home and have felt frustrated at not knowing how to implement the information, you’ll love working with Jenn!

Written by: Jody Dotson, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. The importance of health and well-being is at the forefront of many conversations on social media and in the news. In fact, in recent years, reducing sugar-sweetened products has become a focus of public health efforts because consuming these products have been linked to type 2 diabetes, obesity, and cardiovascular disease. Today, Americans consume around 152 pounds of sugar each year. That's roughly 3 pounds of sugar every week. Having too much added sugar might put American's at risk. Experts agree that added sugar causes tooth decay and contributes to weight issues. These weight issues lead to diseases like obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, osteoporosis, and cancer. It's no wonder that conditions such as diabetes and obesity are widespread. Reasons To Should Cut Back on Sugar While the average American eats about 17 teaspoons of sugar a day, the American Heart Association (AHA) recommends cutting back to 9 teaspoons for men and 6 teaspoons for women and children over 2. Avoid empty calories. Americans started getting heavier when eating increased amounts of processed foods, refined sugars, and high-fructose corn syrup. It's challenging to maintain a healthy weight if soft drinks and candy are crowding out vegetables and whole grains. Nearly 8 out of 10 adults are attempting to cut back on sugar in their diets. Reducing sweets can help individuals lose weight and protect them from severe health conditions. Even if Americans have a sweet tooth, following these tips will make it easy to eat healthier. 10 ways to reduce sugar consumption 1. Avoid soda Soft drinks are the worst beverages to drink. A typical 12-ounce soda contains at least 9 teaspoons of added sugar, which is more than the daily recommendation for women and children. Instead, drink more water and sugar-free options. 2. Limit processed foods Cakes, cookies, and candy account for a significant amount of our sugar intake, but so do some foods one may not be aware of. Sugar is added to everything from sauces and whole wheat bread to peanut butter. 3. Read food labels Knowing what food is made with is essential. Suppose the first few ingredients listed are sweeteners like sugar and high-fructose corn syrup. Then, find something more nutritious to eat. Always check the total grams of sugar, but keep in mind that it will include added sugars and naturally occurring sugars. The new food labels will have the word "includes" before added sugars on the label, indicating that added sugars are included in the number of grams of total sugars in the product. 4. Make healthy substitutions Americans can still eat delicious meals by choosing better alternatives. Choose a breakfast cereal that's unsweetened or lightly sweetened. Add a pinch of vanilla extract to plain yogurt and skip the fake fruit-flavored yogurts. 5. Make more foods from scratch Using fresh ingredients gives Americans more control over hidden sugars. For example, making a salad dressing with vinegar, garlic, and olive oil. Not only does a homemade dressing taste better, but it will cost less than the sweetened supermarket salad dressings. 6. Cut back gradually It's easy to get conditioned to sugar. Wean off slowly. Use half the amount of sugar in coffee, or switch to a natural product like stevia with no calories. 7. Prioritize Decide how to use your recommended teaspoons of sugar a day. The sugar eliminated from coffee will help. 8. Reduce portion sizes The key is to eat in moderation. If you are a cookie or candy craver, you can still enjoy your favorite desserts. Eat them in small amounts and only a couple of times a week. 9. Address emotional eating It's not unusual to reach for sweets when you're feeling anxious or stressed. These foods improve your mood by boosting serotonin production. If you're an emotional eater, find other ways to relax, like reading, meditating, or listening to music. 10. Exercise more Consistent physical activity stimulates "feel-better" endorphins, which can help improve your mood. Mild exercise triggers metabolic processes that make more blood sugar available to the brain, reducing the craving for sugary foods. Cravings among emotional eaters are also decreased. Aim for 30 minutes of moderate exercise at least 3 days a week. Additional tip Replace the empty calories from sugar with healthier treats and a more nutritious diet. Americans may be pleasantly surprised at how easy it becomes to reduce sugar. For more information about her unique approach to health coaching, schedule an exploratory coaching session today. Follow Jody on Facebook, Instagram, or visit her website for more info! Jody Dotson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Jody Dotson is a national board-certified health and wellness coach (NBC-HWC) and author of "A Healthy You! Guided Journal for Food Tracking, Mindfulness, and Self-Care." Jody helps busy women navigate various health concerns, from managing weight to reducing stress through lifestyle changes. Jody creates a custom action plan that empowers women to move toward living their best life. She also guides people to discover the “why” behind their desired health change. Women complete their coaching program with the knowledge and expertise to set and achieve health goals and build new habits. Jody became a health and wellness coach to deliver transformational change to people. Jody’s philosophy is our body can heal itself, and using lifestyle medicine can help improve the healing process. Jody offers a wide range of coaching programs and services.

Written by: Lelia Ceausu, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. When accomplished wisely, your aspirations can become a great reason for celebration and contentment. On the other hand, when those aspirations are surrounded by confusion, rush, or pressure, they can feel like intense sprints, where you can barely catch a break to breathe. Before you know it, you’ll be already running again to accomplish the next big goal on the list, hoping to find the satisfaction level you desire deep down. I am not here to tell you that you can’t have it all or that you’re dreaming too big. I’m here to tell you it’s all possible: you can actually enjoy “having more” and reach that satisfaction feeling that you’re craving to experience through your achievements. In this article, I give you a step-by-step practical guide so you can create a sense of satisfaction for your overachieving mind. Step 1. Set clear goals and desires Start by writing down all your goals- even the “impossible ones.” Bring up all your ideas, thoughts, goals, desires. What do you want to create the most in the coming period? Put all those goals on a piece of paper or a white dashboard. This step brings you three wins: it gives you clarity by bringing everything in front of your eyes, it creates space in your mind and it helps you to release the fear of missing out on something important. Step 2.Choose smart working over hard working The next step for you is to use your energy smartly. The key here is to focus your mind on three priorities at a time. From the goals list you’ve just created, choose three main goals you want to achieve for each week. Make those goals your main priorities. I know that you might feel good about creating a busy, endless “To-Do list,” but in that case, I might see you burning out from all the hard work or never finishing the endless tasks. Focusing your energy on clear, specific priorities makes it easier for you to decide what is aligned with those priority goals and what isn’t aligned with your desires. This step is important because when your actions are aligned with your goals, you’re getting a sense of progress each day. You’re getting a sense that your work is meaningful. It has a specific purpose. Progress and meaningful work are what will lift your overachieving mind. Step 3. Change your standards around time and speed If you have a feeling that you’re running out of time, check all the activities to which you said “yes.” What have you committed to do, from a sense of fear or “missing out”? If those activities aren’t aligned with your goals, nor do they bring you joy, start removing those activities and say “no” to what creates a distraction. You might believe that doing more things will bring you faster results and that this is the key to the satisfaction you’re craving deep down. Here’s the truth: the speed at which you move towards your goals doesn’t really matter. What matters is the impact of what you create, the impact you have in the time you work, when you do an activity, when you show up in your business—the impact of all your actions and results. When you act intending to create an impact, the quantity of accomplished goals and the speed at which they are accomplished doesn’t matter anymore. Backing your actions with the intention to create impact will change your perspective about time because those types of actions create satisfaction far beyond your deadlines. Step 4. Empower yourself with the right motivation In the process of accomplishing your goals, there are two paths you can take: motivating yourself through the energy of push, pressure, stress, busyness OR motivating yourself through the energy of desire, excitement, trust, and ease. Both types of energy are equally powerful, although we might have been conditioned to value only the first type of energy when working. If you’ve been motivating yourself through the first path, you might also try to see the results you can achieve when you work from the second energy. Have you ever wondered why you feel the need to achieve more? Most likely, it’s because the things you achieve aren’t bringing the amount of contentment you desire to experience. We aren’t achieving enough things that bring us contentment because we don’t value joy in the same way we value other emotions when we take action. For example: how many times have you trusted the feeling of progress when taking an action that brings you joy and excitement, compared to when you felt busy while moving towards your goals? If you want to feel a greater excitement about your achievements, start to acknowledge and implement more actions that light you up that bring you joy. Try this other type of motivation and be surprised by what you can create with it. Step 5. Celebrate each day as you’ve just made a quantum move forward Your mind needs evidence that the small achievements matter. This feeling of contentment becomes bigger when you add up the small wins. Immerse yourself in five minutes of bliss each day by taking the time to acknowledge the already achieved things. What are you celebrating today- from small to big achievements? Now, take it a step further and feel gratitude for all the accomplishments you’ve had in the past month, past year, past 5 years. Write it down, or reflect in your mind’s eye. Can you acknowledge how each move brought you where you are right now? In the same way, each big or small move you’ll make every day, with intention and alignment, will inevitably bring you exactly where you desire to be. How much relief does it bring you to know this? Train your mind to celebrate the small steps because they all are disguised quantum moves. Celebration keeps you excited for what’s coming next and creates the feeling that what you’ve done today is enough, and it matters. We are all in the process of growth over our lifetimes. We can achieve all we desire and more than we can envision from the present moment. The most important aspect in this journey of achieving our ambitious goals is to observe the energy behind the actions and decisions that are taking us where we want to be. We have the power to create an energy of celebration, satisfaction, excitement, all aligned with the ultimate impact we want our goals to have. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, or visit my website for more info! Lelia Ceausu, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Lelia Ceausu is an Intuitive Spiritual Leader and Certified Mindset Expert for women in business. She helps women awake the conscious leader within themselves and activates quantum leaps in their energetic codes so they can smash their income ceilings, magnetize in the right clients, and fully claim their space into this world. She believes that the next leadership level is all about community, and there’s enough space for each brilliant woman to rise and lead through her unique presence. Trained in NLP, EFT, and energy work, Lelia leads powerful signature programs, where she awakes the feminine magnetism within business women so they can fully stand into their sovereign power and give voice to their inner fire.

Written by: Lily Woi, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Yes - to a certain extent, but it’s only one half to the equation. So what is mindset? In its simplest form, it is a way of thinking or your frame of mind. Having the right mindset could make or break you because your way of thinking shapes your attitudes, shaping your behaviors and habits. So yes. Mindset is important. But it’s not the end of the world if your mindset isn’t the “right” one. And what is the right mindset anyway? There are so many different mindset terms being used in the workplace. Growth/Fixed Mindset Optimistic/Pessimistic Mindset Positive/Negative Mindset Sales Mindset Digital Mindset And the list goes on and on… It seems like everyone is trying to weave a mindset into everything. Don’t get caught up with all the hype about “mindset is everything .” Mindset plays an important part, but it is not everything. You don’t need the right mindset to get started. It develops along the way. Shifting, evolving, and nurturing your mindset and perspective is a never-ending journey. Sorry to burst your bubble . There is no end-state with mindset work. There are good days, and there are bad days. The work doesn’t stop, so stop using mindset as an excuse not to do something. Many have fallen into this trap without realizing it. What’s equally important is to start doing something . This is the second half of the equation. You know “the something” that you have been procrastinating and conveniently find an excuse each time to not do it. Stop that! Go and quit your job to start your own business. Go and change your career expertise into something completely different. Go and get up on the stage to share your story. Go and publish that book that you’ve been thinking about. Do it, now. It’s not going to be perfect, and it will never be. Just like me here writing an article for you. Don’t let your need for perfection hold you back. Doing it will feed your mindset too. The key is to do it immediately. Don’t wait. Don’t say, “let me think about it.” That is what’s stopping you from achieving your goals. The next time when someone offers you the opportunity to do something of interest, say yes immediately. You’ll figure out a way to accomplish it. Trust yourself. You are more resourceful than you give yourself credit for. It sounds simple, and it really is. It’s just not easy. But isn’t achieving your dreams worth it? Follow me on LinkedIn , or visit my website for more info! Lily Woi, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Lily Woi is a professionally trained coach and an expert in helping individuals to accelerate their career progression and develop authentic leadership capabilities. She has spent years working in corporate consultancy training and advising clients to deliver multimillion transformation programs before starting her career coaching business (Lily Woi Coaching). She develops current and future leaders to be self-directed, resilient to change, grow their presence and build authentic leadership styles that motivate and inspire others. She is known for her personalized approach, tailoring content to individuals' learning preferences and work experiences to instill real practical change in an enjoyable way.

LaTrenda George is an author, podcaster, and a transformational coach specializing in spiritual coaching and mentoring. She is also a certified mind, body, and soul practitioner and facilitator. LaTrenda brings eleven years of experience to the table, un-programming her clients from past challenges, and teaching them how to live from within. She inspires and empowers others to act on their deepest desires. Who is LaTrenda George? Tell us a little bit about yourself, and what it was like for you growing up. I am a Queen Messenger of Love and Light. I grew up in Detroit, Michigan. My father was an entrepreneur, and my mother was a social worker. There were 3 other siblings in the household with me and I was the middle child. I was introvert and very intuitive. I always dreamed a lot and received divine messages. I held back a lot to just fit in. In your book, you talk about living from within. What do you mean by that? Living from within means living your truth and letting your authenticity shine. You can live from within by: Spending time with yourself Taking time to truly get to know yourself Listening to your body—it is your loyal partner Learning and experiencing new things Paying attention to how your body responds to different experiences We have internal compasses that will lead to our greatest path, but we must take the time to partner with our inner knowing. In your book, you also talk about downloading your truth. Can you explain what that means and how a person can do that? Downloading your truth is doing the work to heal from within. We all have inner wounds that need to be healed, no matter what, because we have all interacted with someone we have been hurt by. As you know, hurt people hurt people. With that said, these are some ways a person can download their truth: Take inventory of your past experiences and outcomes Figure out what in you allowed certain outcomes to manifest Read books Work with counselors, coaches, or church organizations that can give you tools to assist in your healing Downloading your truth is basically a shift in a healed mindset. It is like taking an onion and peeling back the layers of conditioning until you get to the core. The core is the rare jewel of the truth of your soul. Tell us about your business. I work as a spiritual teacher and coach. I provide contract services as a community liaison to two community organizations. I perform business consulting services. I owned a recruiting agency. No matter what hat I wear, I am a Queen Messenger of Light and Love. I help individuals to become unstuck and live a more aligned life to their heart’s desires. In your business, you un-program people from their past challenges, what does that mean, and how does it work? Give some examples of how others can un-program themselves. To un-program is to help them determine what is the truth, fear, or pure outdated conditioning. I listen to their concerns, and we peel them back to the core, and create positive action plans and thought patterns that lead to a more fulfilling life. Others can get un-programmed by exposing themselves to different mindsets, reading new material, and trying new experiences. Most importantly, take the time to know yourself. Being a woman who empowers others, what have you learned about yourself in the process? I love this question, thank you for asking. I learned that we are all connected in a powerful way. I learned as I honor other paths, I honor my own path. I embrace my power to create my desired life and to be vulnerable to grow and change. Get Her Book – Click Link Follow LaTrenda on Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn!

Written by: Dilys Brighty-Schmidt, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. After a year of dealing with a worldwide Pandemic, I am sure many individuals have either been unable to work because they are in contact service-type jobs or have worked remotely, rather than working in a “bricks and mortar” setting and interacting with colleagues all day. Whatever is true for you, and whether you continue to work remotely or are now getting back to work as before, career and fulfillment are still fundamentally very important aspects of your life. So, this might be a great time to ask yourself whether you are considering options in your career, or maybe you enjoy what you do. Still, there are areas where you feel change is needed, or you may be feeling a sense of being stuck, and need new and fresh challenges to create the motivation of doing your best work? Fulfillment is important. We spend many hours of our life at work, so ask yourself, are you truly happy and motivated in the career you already have, or are you contemplating the next move you want to go forward to, are important questions? The questions below are some suggestions to ask yourself and think about how you are feeling and the areas holding you back. Fulfillment: Does the work you do challenge you and utilize your talents? Are you able to stretch yourself to an even greater version of yourself? Or are you finding the work draining, dull, and simply a paycheck to meet life’s demands? If it were not for the paycheck, would you still want to spend your time and energy there? Engagement: Are you actively engaged with your work, co-workers, and environment, or are you physically present but scrolling through Facebook and other social media platforms? Thinking, perhaps, about other challenges in your life rather than your work challenges? Energy: Are you finding enough energy to meet each day’s demands while still having reserves at the end of the day to feel fulfilled in your personal life? Are you generating healthy amounts of energy through daily actions, or do you have to get energy from external sources, such as coffee and energy drinks? Authenticity: Do you feel a sense of alignment with who you are and how you show up in and outside of work? Are you working congruently with your values, and what those values stand for? Ambition: Are you striving for more in your career, or are you content with your current position and salary? If so, what lets you know you feel comfortable, and what might be at risk if you were to have a different level of ambition? Communication: How is your overall communication with your colleagues, boss/manager? Are you able to clearly and fully express thoughts, ideas, and challenges? Does your work environment feel safe and inviting enough to bring up uncomfortable topics that can be discussed? Or do you feel that you have to keep to the status quo and not express anything which might be construed as awkward about something that may have happened in the workplace? These are just some questions you can ask yourself, and writing down the pros and cons in each section, it can really help you organize your thoughts about where you are right now and where you would like to be in the long term. Making inroads with your true feelings also helps you understand confidence levels, motivation, and fulfillment in your career path toward ambition and success. I hope the above helps to implement some fundamental truths in your career and also increases your own awareness of what it is you want. Change is never easy, but taking the first step to realize your goals can give you better choices and create a better and more successful career. Remember: Transformation begins with you. As a Health and Life Coach, I am happy to extend working with individuals who feel they need to expand their workplace experience and to open up about what they would like to change to create a more successful career path for themselves. Your very best health Dilys/Transformational Health and Life Coach. Follow me on Instagram , Linkedin , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Dil ys ! Dilys Brighty-Schmidt, Executive Contributor, Brainz Magazine Dilys Brighty-Schmidt is a Transformational Health and Life Coach who is dedicated to helping women 50+ and beyond achieve success in their health, fitness, and life situations that need change, more commitment, and nourishment. Her coaching also includes Type 2 Diabetes and Heart Health programs, two major health problems that increase with age. Through her previous work as a diet consultant for over six years with a brand diet company in the USA, she realized how difficult it was for many clients to sustain their weight loss or reach their goals. Health and Life Coaching have given her that much-needed knowledge to help her clients understand that lifestyle changes and habits and behavior changes are instrumental in their success. Her mantra is “Transformation Begins With You.”

Written by: Roxanne Deurloo, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. In the last few years, a lot more organizations embraced technology for their daily operations. They have implemented management software, automated their processes, and started to use Artificial Intelligence, Machine Learning, and Deep Learning. In this Digital Age we are in, having access to digital information is becoming obvious. The fast pace of the development of these new advancements is not slowing down any time soon. It will only generate more and more information in the years to come. However, it is very important to understand that having access to a lot of information does not guarantee success for a business. Information overload can even be catastrophic. The digital world is developing tremendously quickly. Especially in 2020, organizations were somewhat forced to embrace technology for their daily operations if they had not done so already. But even before 2020, organizations were implementing management software and focusing on digital transformation—all intending to operate more effectively and efficiently. Management software can generate data automatically, which can be used for decision-making. Additionally, automated processes will mostly do the job less time with fewer errors and eventually lower costs. That sounds promising, of course. The dangers of information However, all of these software, systems, and automated processes generate new information and huge data. Suddenly, organizations will spend more time processing and analyzing all this data than they used to. For example, almost every software system can send automated emails to employees to remind them of pending tasks, resulting in jammed inboxes and employees losing their productivity because of it. Or, it is not clear what to do with all that new information. Hence, every bit of new information needs to be discussed in a meeting, resulting in employees attending more meetings than actually doing the work. Or, due to the huge amount of information, they analyze the wrong data and make the wrong decisions based on those analyses. In the end, this will only cost money. It can be very easy to fall into the trap of using all that information and to get lost in numbers. Incorrectly using the information or lacking control can harm personal well-being, productivity, innovation, and decision-making. How to use the information correctly. It is no doubt that organizations need to incorporate the digital world into their businesses to stay competitive. It is a beautiful and promising development that can be of great use to businesses, but only embracing and implementing it will not achieve success. To be successful and create an even bigger value for their businesses, it is crucial to understand the context of the information and what is needed to increase the performance of their businesses. When data is used correctly, it can be incredibly valuable to ensure the growth of businesses. The Digital Age has made it easier for organizations to connect with their audience and customers. Since (potential) customers also have access to a lot of information about a variety of services or products online and have the power to choose whatever suits them best, businesses need to understand the needs of their customers. Customer experience is the main focus area for many organizations. Going online and having digital processes helps immensely by enhancing the customer journey. This will speed up the workflows and make them more accessible for the customer. Even gathering feedback from customers has become very easy in the Digital Age. Gathering data is not the end goal, though. The end goal is to utilize this data and turn it into information that can be used to make improvements and adjustments to processes and systems within a business. Eventually, businesses will be able to do more of the right things in less time and generate more profits. To achieve this, a few key elements need to be clear. Organizations need to have a vision and mission statement, preferably agile, and translate these into measurable business objectives. The current state of a business has to be analyzed to have a clear view of the current performance of a business. The desired or future state of a business has to be analyzed and formulated as well. This will allow organizations to find the gaps that need closing. What needs to happen to get from the current state to the desired state? Organizations need to know which systems and processes are primary and secondary. What is the core business? Which systems and processes have a direct impact on revenue? Key Performance Indicators (KPI) and Performance Indicators have to be known. What makes the business perform? Which numbers are critical to making sure the targets are achieved? What is classified as performing well or poorly? Key Results have to be formulated to be able to keep track of the progress. These are the milestones to ensure the business objectives are achieved. If applicable, business objectives need to be aligned throughout the entire organization. Everything and everyone should be working towards the same end goals. Every department, every job role has a specific task to ensure achieving the mission of the business. Based on all the above, data can be generated accordingly, and this varies per business. Having a plan to use the information correctly will increase focus and give a formula for data-driven decision making, which results in a higher-performing business and higher revenue. There are no distractions, and this helps to avoid an information overload. Honestly, all other data is only distracting from achieving the business objectives. For example, knowing exactly how much the number of followers on a social media platform has increased is useless information if the goal is to generate all the leads through the website. Businesses who know exactly what makes their business run great, have their eyes on the prize, and use the information to adjust and improve their processes if needed, will grow faster than businesses who use information incorrectly or not at all. Use the correct data and turn it into information necessary for enhancing your business. Skip the rest. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, or visit my website for more info! Roxanne Deurloo, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Roxanne Deurloo is a Business Performance Consultant and Performance Coach who helps and guides entrepreneurs, small business owners, and professionals to turn their potential into performance. She focuses on performance management and making data-driven decisions. In 13 years working as a Human Resources and management professional, she set up departments within a Health Care Organization after a merge and within an Energy Industry Company after the commissioning phase. She took them to the next level of performance by implementing automation and management systems. She also set up a Recruitment Agency before turning to entrepreneurship to help others increase their personal or business performance. She believes there is always room for improvement, and you should always strive to create a more effective and efficient process. Do more of the right things in less time.

Written by: Monica Pelaez, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. I want to learn. I want to learn to live differently. I want to learn to die. I want to live and die differently from how I have lived and how I have learned to live death. I want to learn. The Christian belief is that there is a heaven and a hell. You go to heaven or hell, depending on how good you have been. I was raised in that faith, very loosely, by the way. Religious ritual was more of social practice in my family. My parents believed more in rationality. My father’s practice partner was Jewish. In his late years, David, my father’s medical practice partner, grew a beard and looked more and more like a Rabi than a physician. Our house was a place of free-thinking as in the tradition of the Enlightenment. I was 12 or 13 when I first read Voltaire. Seneca was right in front of my bed, on the shelf across from my bed. Lucio Anneo Seneca or Emile Zola or Simone de Beauvoir, all in beautiful leather-bound editions in earthy green or bright red with golden letters lining the walls of my room, which also housed my father’s library. I grew up literally surrounded by books; it was their air and scent that I breathed every night. Free thinking went beyond the Enlightenment. It included of course, Aristotle, Socrates, Plato. The tragedies by Aeschylus, Sophocles, and Euripides. Spanish literature by the very rowdy Gabriel Garcia Lorca, medieval Calderon de la Barca, or a beautiful edition of “Don Quixote de la Mancha.” There was the Red Book by Mao. “Mein Kampf” by Hitler. And one of my favorite books from my teenage years, “La Tia Julia y el Escribidor” by Vargas Llosa. Thinking is my thing. I think. I can’t help it. I wish I could not think. And I doubt. I doubt everything. And I read. My first husband once pointed out how I would read back-to-back a flyer! Of course, I write! I collect little half-page, ring-bound notebooks written in pencil. They contain grocery lists, errands, thoughts, projects, financial projections, bills to pay, recipes, a lot of my life. As privileged as my early life was, it never prepared me for what I had to face as an adult. My earliest “death” was that of my favorite uncle, Jairo, in 1982. (/haeero/) A six-foot-tall man, blond, blue eyes, and temperament, and character honored the legacy of his last name, Pelaez. There is a saying in Medellin that Pelaez is not the last name. It is an illness. Often said with sarcasm, pride, and a smirk, my ancestors were all peculiar, irreverent, and unapologetic. My uncle was grand with a wicked, funny mind. He would claim to bring for us his nieces and nephews from his travels, gas-powered roller skates, which unfortunately were perpetually detained at customs. Or he would ask the maid to get him for breakfast “huevos de avioneta” (plane eggs-plane in Spanish is feminine). The maid would look confused as he played his prank and repeated himself with a straight face. My great-great-grandfather did not work, lived off his properties and investments, read poetry, and played the violin. Don Abel Pelaez. He supported a staunch liberal politician, Rafael Uribe Uribe, famous in Colombia for his rhetoric and liberal views, who was assassinated in October of 1914. My grandfather was shot by his neighbor in 1949 while drinking and discussing politics. He was handsome, was sent to Cleveland to attend college but went back to Medellin in the 1930s to marry his sweetheart, my grandmother. He wrote her love letter, sometimes signing them as his “enchanted prince”; this after 5 children and 10 years of marriage. Then another uncle died. His name was Alvaro. He was a tortured soul who drank in the family tradition in truckloads and was run over by a car leaving his favorite restaurant. Next died my sweet grandmother, my father’s mother, and the recipient of the “enchanted prince” letters; Doña Gabriela Echeverri Botero de Pelaez. She passed away of old age in 1983. In 5 years, I witnessed the deaths and funerals of 3 members of my close family. My uncles were part of my daily life. We all gathered every weekend either at El Retiro or Santafe de Antioquia. These are towns in the vicinity of Medellin. El Retiro about 45 minutes away, Santafe de Antioquia about 2 hours away. El Retiro in a small valley, at 7,000 feet in the Andes mountains. Cold, very cold, especially back then before climate change and before massive development as a quasi-suburb of Medellin. Santafe de Antioquia, in a large, dry valley at 1,800 feet, hot, very hot at the confluence of the Magdalena river, the largest river in Colombia, and the Tonusco. This town is a colonial remnant of the Spanish Inquisition and the dominance of the Catholic Church, with huge stone houses, one church per block, cobbled stone streets. The family-owned homes in both places, and we alternated weekends between one or the other. In El Retiro, it was all about horses, singing, and eating. In Antioquia, it was all about the pool, the sun, and eating. Yes, in the best tradition of Latin American families who lived by European traditions. We had three main meals at the table, served and eaten all together from the eldest to the youngest—snacks between meals and lots, lots of alcohol all the time. Death, food, and spirits were the norm. After my two uncles and my grandmother, death paused. But not a tragedy. Kidnapping set in. The first kidnapping my family went through was in the 1970s when my father's uncle, Arturo Pelaez Vallejo, was captured and killed by the guerrillas in Monteria, Cordova. This is a beautiful, voluptuous area of about the size of Georgia, frozen in time where cattle farms the size of twice Manhattan still exist. In 1988 my cousin, the eldest of all the cousins, was kidnapped by “The Extraditables.” The ringleader of this group was Pablo Escobar. They were fighting extradition to the U.S. As part of their strategy, they kidnapped and asked for ransom while liberating the kidnappees with “press statements.” My cousin was held for three weeks. I still remember sitting on the steps of the condo where he lived with his parents until the wee hours of the morning, wondering where he could be. Next, my uncle Juan David. Younger than my father, he was kidnapped at his country house in El Retiro on Saturday early evening in 1994. I was with friends at a dinner party, about 30 minutes away. My family’s old house had been demolished (no architectural loss here), and the development of much smaller weekend homes was built. My father had a home, two homes away from his brother. They were sitting in the living room just before dinner when a group of men stormed the house. They gagged and bound my aunt, my three cousins, and my father and took my uncle. He was held for a year. And then my brother-in-law in 2001. He was kidnapped by urban delinquents and sold to the guerrilla. Yes, sold. He was held for a year. My father died while my brother-in-law was being held captive. When we buried my father, we did not know if my brother-in-law was alive. I was broken in 2001. The 20 years that were to come after that were not easy. Many successes, many failures; divorce, heartbreak, loss, travel, conquer, discoveries. I lived intensely in those 20 years, never afraid to thrive and explore. And here I am, 2021. I am five months away from turning 50. And I want to learn to live and learn to die differently. I am not dying, but someone I deeply love is, and I want to live that death differently. I want to support that death in a way that is not tragical, broken, dark. We all will die. I want to learn how to die peacefully, acceptingly. To feel that when we die, we don’t die. We transition and let go of the need for control, for the need to know what is in the afterlife, and just let go. But not only do I want to learn to die differently, but I am also more than ever determined to learn to live differently. I want to be part of my community. I want to care about my neighbors. I want to care about the environment. I want to understand how I can improve those who come in contact with me. I want to be an agent of better, not of my selfish needs, ambition, and trauma. I want banks to know their customers, care about them individually, support them in their needs. Yes, banks. Money and finances are like the blood that circulates through our bodies. Money needs to flow, and many times it doesn’t because banks blindside us. They are big, impersonal corporations, hard to individualize to get simple help and guidance as a mere mortal customer. I want call centers to listen to the customer, not repeat a script robotically, and speak to 7 different people before you are actually listened to. I want traffic to be safe. I want drivers to slow down, be courteous and use manners. I want them not to honk right when the light turns green. I want drivers to focus only on driving and not to text. I want driving to be like a 1950’s advertisement, joyous, elegant, splendid driving. (I would also like flying to go back to what it was, but that for another day) I want to learn to slow down. I want to take time to prepare my meals. I want to see what I don’t see. Many opportunities escape me just because I don’t “see” them. I want predatory lending to be banned. I want everyone to make money and be prosperous, but I don’t want the prosperity of one at the expense of the other. I want everyone to be as different as they are yet coexisting peacefully. And by the way, we have, not just in the 21st century, but in all centuries in different parts of the world; we seem to forget. What is and what we have built, the world we have built is broken. Excess here, lack there—opulence here, misery there. I am not a communist or a socialist. I don’t believe in that rhetoric. If I work hard, prosper, that which I attained through my dedication, brilliance, and resourcefulness is mine. If I receive from my parents, it is theirs to give and mine to receive. But we know some are less advantaged to no fault of their own. They need help. And there may be an abuse of the help, but the help that has been given has changed lives to improve them and improve our society collectively. I respect and wonder at the beautiful mind human beings have. And as much as I love philosophizing, some things are simple and need to be simple and must stay simple. Like predatory lending, it’s inhuman. Not having access to health services, it’s inhuman. Forced to cover yourself by law, it's inhuman. Human trafficking, it’s inhuman. The mind is powerful and can come up with dangerous rationalizations. Yet, when something is wrong, we see it and know it. We may not be able to explain, but we know it. I want to learn. For a very long time, I believed my main goal should be getting credentials by way of degrees. These would give me validity, approval, acceptance. I could then walk into the world with the degrees under my arm and finally do and be who I always wanted. Then life brought into my life a mentor who plainly said to me in our first meeting, “My dear, you have been looking for validation. Here is your validation”, while extending his hand and smiling as if he was bestowing or passing the “thing.” Now I had been initiated and approved. That meeting, moment, event stayed with me for a year. My education had been so deeply ingrained in me that I could not reconcile my mentor’s words that day with my education, which prescribed and demanded degrees to be someone in life. How could I be “someone” if I had meager degrees; I didn’t have a Ph.D.! I am not proposing that college is not worthwhile and valuable. Not at all. I am sharing my journey, which has been my journey. And in walking my journey, I want to learn. I want to learn what my calling is, my path. Each has different journeys and lessons—each to their own, each to their own. I face and embrace my journey with gusto. But I want to learn. I want to live differently. I don’t have to live the life I have up to this point. I can learn new ways of thinking, new ways of “seeing,” new ways of working, eating, establishing relationships, of enjoying my existence. I can change. I can. My path is not a blueprint for my present or future, and I declare that I am open to learning to be humble and change. Change is the only constant in my life. I want to learn. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram and visit my website for more info! Read more from Monica! Monica Pelaez, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Monica Pelaez is a thinker, writer, coach, and instructor. With a background in international law and business, involved in educational projects across continents, she has built a coaching/tutoring private practice to help the ones who are like her, "outliers." Those who do not fit the mold have a hard time with the system but are smart, curious, and intrepid. She combines the spheres of emotions, behavior, and academics in her practice. She views the individual as a complex being with unique talents, challenges, and needs and works to succeed in academics. She writes about any and all topics that interest her, without any claim to expertise, under the liberal principles of freedom of thought.