Written by: Dr. Terence McIvor, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. In order to fully understand or grasp the technique of using hypnotic language patterns (HLP) in sales writing and direct person-to-person sales, we must first look into Neurolinguistic Patterns and how neurolinguistics is used in everyday life around us. What is Neurolinguistics? By definition, Neurolinguistics is the branch of linguistics dealing with the relationship between language and the structure and functioning of the brain. Neurolinguistic programming is used extensively in everyday life around us; in sales and marketing, conversationally, in retail, real estate, and even in our relationships. Developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in the 1970s, Neurolinguistic programming became a psychological method of teaching people techniques in better communication thus leading to successful interactions within their working or personal life. NLP teaches you techniques and methods not only in communication and linguistics but also ways in which to change a negative thinking pattern or bad habit into a positive path or healthy habit within your subconscious first, which then manifests through that person on a more conscious and aware level. How is Neurolinguistics and Hypnotic Language used in Sales? NLP is used frequently in sales and advertising. We come across it in supermarkets when we are buying a particular coffee brand over another or in retail when we buy our jeans from one store and not the one next door. For successful sales using NLP, there has to be certain steps followed for the most lucrative outcome as discussed in depth in The Sales Doctor’s eBook ‘The Power of Branding & Innovative Sales’. Firstly, Rapport must be established between the seller and the customer. Ways in which this rapport is established include techniques such as matching and mirroring the customers’ body and vocal language, making use and repetition of keywords, and even matching the customers’ tone of voice or breathing patterns. The idea of that may seem strange to some but by doing this you are forming a connection with the customer that not only makes them feel comfortable to be communicating with you but also makes them more receptive to what you are saying or selling to them as they are relaxed and not guarded. Once rapport is successfully established the seller will start with some questions. This is where the NLP truly shines through. Using the correct words and phrases and at the right time in the conversation will heavily impact on whether or not you will make a successful sale. For example, you have a product that you are presenting to a customer and you want to communicate with the customer via the product in a way that provokes positive emotions. To do this you will use words such as Refresh, Exciting, Happy, Believe, and Thrive. All these words have positive emotions attached to them and that is exactly what you are trying to tap into, the customers' positive emotions. Another example is if you want to create excitement through a product. You wouldn’t simply tell the customer that ‘this product is exciting, you should buy it.’ NO! You will make use of ‘magic words’ as shown above. You would create almost a story around it with words that evoke excitement such as imagine, upcoming, one of a kind, limited time, amazing, fantastic. All these words evoke a feeling of anticipation or excitement. Selling is not solely presenting the product but more so creating a story behind it that heeds the needs of the customer and shows them exactly why they need YOUR product in their life, why YOUR product is the one for them, and why they should buy from YOU and not your competitor. What is Hypnosis? By definition, Hypnosis is a human condition which alters attention levels, peripheral awareness, and human response capacity to make a person more suggestible and impressionable. It is a trance or sleep-like mental state in which the person experiencing the hypnosis will have increased concentration and attention. While in this mindset a lot of people have reported to have felt sleepy or zoned out which is not exactly the reality. The reality is that this person is in a state known as ‘Hyper-awareness’. There are multiple different ways in which hypnosis can be carried out and for many different reasons. Hypnosis can be carried out by a licensed physician, there are many online tools such as music or recorded voices which can be used and people have also taken up self-hypnosis in which a person self-induces a hypnotic state upon themselves. It has been known to be used in psychotherapy to treat patients with conditions such as anxiety, depression, and PTSD. It has also been used physiologically as a method for pain management. What are Hypnotic Language Patterns? A Hypnotic Language Pattern is used to guide a person into a trance-like state by using a set of linguistics patterns and phrases to achieve the desired results. What is an Example of HLP in Everyday Life? As a salesperson, your spoken language is an invaluable tool which has the potential to be very hypnotic when used effectively and in the correct manner to elicit a desired response or reaction from a customer. As a simple example of how language can be hypnotic, one which we have all experienced either as children or adults can be seen within a children’s bedtime storybook. When you think of a children’s storytime before bed the scene is serene. The book is read in a soft tone of voice, it is a gentle read to lure the child into the story and place them in a state of concentration to guide them toward a peaceful slumber. Repetition is frequently used in these stories, with words such as ‘relax’, ‘sleep’ ‘rest your eyes’, being used over and over, planting the seed in the child’s head that they should do the same. You will notice that a lot of stories in relation to children’s bedtime use animals as their main character and they tell stories of how they are going to sleep or getting ready for bed. This is a technique which allows the child to use abstract thinking and relate themselves to the story without explicitly being told it is their bedtime. By having the story of ‘The Sheep who went to sleep’ read to them with the use of the hypnotic language patterns laid out in front of you in a soft tone, the child has become highly suggestible in their concentrative state and related themselves to the Sheep who went to sleep, thus on most occasions, drifting off into a deep sleep themselves. How Hypnotic Language Patterns are used in Sales As mentioned above, building a rapport with a customer prior to even considering pitching or selling your product or services is key. Without this rapport, everything you suggest is going to be dismissed or not fully taken on board. Let us consider what a therapist does with their client. A therapist’s role, prior to engaging fully with their patient is to put them at ease, both on a conscious and subconscious level. By assisting the patient in reaching a fully relaxed state and building this rapport they can make the patient more receptive to suggestions, advice, or guidance and also make the patient more likely to open up themselves and share their thought, wants, or needs. This works the same way in sales. By using techniques such as matching and mirroring a client in their verbal and body language, repeating keywords or phrases and allowing them time to relax into the communication you have now opened the customer, making them more receptive to what you have it is you have to say and/or offer them. The Double Bind This technique is used very often in sales. The idea of a Double Bind is to provide the customer with what seems like a choice for them to make however either choice you have directed them to provide you with the outcome you are looking for. An example of a double bind would be something like this: ‘Would you like to complete the sale here or in my office?’ This gives the customer a feeling of choice and control in the situation, however, whether or not they chose the forecourt you are currently standing in or the office environment the sale is still being completed. By setting up what essentially is an illusion of choice you are increasing the cooperation of the customer. Embedded Commands As I mentioned above, an embedded command is a spoken sentence which has within its structure a hidden command. As you read through this section you will notice how you become really interested in learning more about techniques and using these methods in everyday life and sales. The above is an example of using an embedded command. Maybe you noticed it, maybe you didn’t, but within its structure, I gave you a command that your subconscious mind would recognise and react to. The embedded command came in the form of three words ‘become really interested’. By doing this and forming the sentence in this structure I have told your brain to become excited about reading and learning. This is a very common and very effective skill to use in sales and it is used quite frequently. You may even begin to notice these more now that you are aware of them. Storytelling Circling back to the concept of storytelling; it is important to know that stories are not solely for children. Storytelling is a very effective technique used in closing a sale and if used successfully you are more likely to close the sale with the client. What we mean when we talk about incorporating storytelling into your sale is not reciting a ‘once upon a time’ speech to your customer but instead taking their wants, needs, and desires and creating a story around your product that relates to these. It is not only about what you say to the client here but how you say it that makes it a powerful technique. This method allows you to create excitement or a stronger desire in relation to the product as you tell the amazing story of how this product will change their everyday life, thus increasing sales percentages, customer engagement, and even repeat custom. Both verbal and non-verbal language are the most powerful tools we all have at our disposal when it comes to sales. With many other companies fighting for the attention and retention of customers it is vital for the health and survival of your company that you do not exclusively rely on your product to sell itself. By investing in your own selling skills by incorporating the techniques discussed in this blog, you will become more advanced and customers will gravitate toward you and your company rather than your competitors. Invest in your skills, take the time to adapt and learn, and the results in your bottom line and customer retention will speak for themselves. Follow me on Facebook, and visit my website for more info! Dr. Terence McIvor, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Dr Terry McIvor is a thought leader in the areas of: Leadership, Sales Performance Neuro Linguistic psychology Critical Problem Solving and Research Transformative Coaching Successful Thinking Engineering Hypnosis Education He has set up the Sales Doctor Coaching and Hypnotherapy Clinic to help not only salespeople and entrepreneurs, but other professionals who have been underperforming within their chosen occupations. Examples of these are Teachers, Lawyers, Doctors, and other professionals. These professionals can avail of Neuro Linguistic psychological techniques to help them think more strategically so they can excel in their domain of practice. These techniques eradicate confidence and anxiety issues, negative thinking, phobias and much more. Clients can also avail of hypnosis to alleviate and eradicate these issues if they prefer. Dr Terry is currently researching (using the meta analysis approach) how quantum mechanics of biochemical systems affect neural processing within the brain. He has embarked on this research so as to better understand the complete functioning of the mind and to convey this understanding to others, through his clinical work. Dr Terry is a qualified e-coach and has a large international client base who wish to be coached online. He also travels to the client if they wish their sessions are face to face. He has a diverse set of skills which he employs daily to improve the lives of people who have lost their way and who need direction to be the best that they can be. Dr Terry is also the CEO and owner of the first accredited B-STEMM (Business, Science, Technology, Mathematics and Medical technical) Academy in Ireland where he educates students not only in Ireland but around the world. He set this up to address a worldwide shortage of business and STEMM graduates. Terry has a passion for helping people fulfil their potential so they can become a more confident and successful person. He was a leader of an international team of educational experts to set up an international public university in India, a 200 million dollar project. The university will have campuses both in India and around the world. It will open for classes this academic year and will provide scholarships for those students who do not have the financial means to pay for their education. Terry earned his primary degree in Biochemical Sciences with Business and a PhD in Chemistry Education, he has also earned a number of postgraduate qualifications including a Postgraduate Diploma in Further and Higher Education. Dr Terry is passionate about transformation and innovation, and he wants you to be successful, powerful and in control, so you can manifest your dreams and achieve your business goals, which will create a ripple effect in your personal life.

Written by: Oksana Irwin, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. If you have been putting yourself ‘out there’ in the modern dating marketplace and haven’t gotten much traction, you are not alone! Today’s technology creates a virtual world of millions of people actively dating online. The dating apps allow us to meet people that we would never connect with otherwise. However, even with this unlimited ‘sea of options’, there are still only a select few (less than 5%) who get to enjoy the desired outcomes and are happy with their dating life. It may sound unfair that there is such a low success rate and why does it works for a small group of people but not for the majority of us? The better question to ask is: What are the select few doing differently to get the results everyone wants and how can YOU benefit from understanding what’s working for them? The difference between those for whom it’s working is not the looks, clothes, money, lifestyle, or bling that they show off. It has everything to do with their dating and relationship skills, their emotional intelligence, and the energy they create in their dating lives. All these factors can be consciously developed and applied. You don’t have to be a special unicorn to have success in dating. But you need to learn the skills! The successful daters have invested the time and work to develop strong relationship skills. They know what to do and what not to do to create attraction and build an intimate connection on their dates. Intentionally. What do they do and not do to create this attraction and intimacy? Below is a list of the most common Does and Don’ts of Modern Dating : Don’t try too hard to ‘impress’ or ‘demonstrate’ your values to someone you are meeting for the first time or are just getting to know in the early stages of dating. Don’t spend a lot of effort to let them know how nice, smart, cool, sincere, helpful, serious, loyal, reliable, understanding, honest, and successful you are. Don’t be an ‘open book’ and imply that you are a ‘safe’ bet. Don’t tell them that you don’t like ‘playing games’ and that you have serious intentions such as a long-term relationship or marriage. Don’t treat the date as a ‘job interview’ and methodically gather data from them by asking direct questions about what they want, what their intentions are, and what they are looking for in a man/woman. Don’t try to figure where or not they like you or think too far ahead if they are ‘the one’. Don’t ask a million ‘pre-qualifying’ questions to determine whether or not they fit into your ‘list’ or ‘agenda.’ Everything on this list of Don’t’s are attraction killers . If you follow these behaviors on dates, your dating life will be an endless cycle of watching the quality people you are interested in disappear from your life and settling for spending time with clingy people to who you are not truly attracted to. Instead, Do truly enjoy your dating experience and be fun and engaging. Do simply lean back, listen, and observe your date. Listen to what they say, see what they do, and watch how they react. You will get a lot more of your questions answered (and much more honestly) by letting them talk and by reading their energy. Do act like you are detached from the outcome and are here to enjoy the moment. Do act like you are interested in them and are enjoying their company. This will allow them to feel safe and relaxed. That will prompt them to share their truth, values, and what is important to them with you. Do lean back, have fun and be fun to be around. Do act interested and be engaging. Let them talk, let them express themselves, and just gently steer the conversation. AND Most Importantly... Do remember that your only job is to be fun and engaging, enjoy yourself, and watch for green lights and of course those red flags! If you want to uplevel your dating game, activate your dating mojo, become a magnet to high-value matches, and be in charge of your dating game. If you want to have success, Every. Single. Time in your dating experience without relying on ‘luck’ or ‘chance’, connect with me at my L inkedIn , Facebook Profile and connect with me on Instagram or visit my websi te . I look forward to sharing my zone of genius with you! Read more from Oksana! Oksana Irwin, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Oksana Irwin is a Certified Mars – Venus Life and Relationship Coach, trained by the legendary John Gray. She is on a continuing mission to change the world one love story at a time! Oksana is a leader in the dating and relationship coaching field. She equips her clients with powerful behaviors, winning mindsets, and gender intelligence knowledge that empowers them to unleash their mental and emotional constraints and achieve their very best in love, life, and career. Within 3 years of sadly losing both her long-term marriage and role in a thriving family business, Oksana has created a new loving, passionate relationship and built a successful coaching business. She turned her pain into passion, passion into purpose, and purpose into profit by helping many women along the way. She impacts her clients by unlocking access to feminine power, lowering stress, and skyrocketing confidence. Her clients learn effective and powerful gender dynamics, sufficient hormonal balance, and potent attraction and polarity techniques that produce outstanding results in creating loving and lasting passionate relationships and thriving successful and fulfilling lives.

Written by: Marnix Pauwels, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Let me take away your mental disorder. ADHD and anxiety and all these other terms that are used for ‘mental illnesses’ are not real. They are not things. And they are most certainly not the bad things that cause the symptoms. These labels are invented so we can discuss specific human experiences. They are supposed to be helpful linguistic constructs or concepts. But they are not brain defaults, nor genetic fuck ups. Now let me get this straight right away: of course, I don’t deny or dismiss or make fun of the complexities of the human experience. We are most definitely capable of deep suffering and excruciating agony and feeling distracted and down and bothered and hopeless. There is anxiety and mourning and sadness and pretty confused thinking, and all of it can become a huge burden. Absolutely. But those things are byproducts of being alive. They derive from the incredible richness of the human experience, and our unique capacity to feel an amazing variety of stuff. They’re just not caused by ‘neurological deficiencies’. Now there’s a word for the basis of this big misunderstanding. This phenomenon, where a name for something eventually becomes a real thing, is called ‘reification’. We do it all the time, and it’s actually very useful. Let’s take ‘intelligence’, for example. It doesn’t really exist as a tangible form (something you can put in a wheel barrow like supercoach Michael Neill likes to say), but it can be helpful in conversations. Although ‘intelligence’ is not a real thing, it refers to something we can use in our daily lives. So: quite helpful. But when it comes to mental illnesses, reifications can become tremendously limiting and counter-productive. Here’s why. Over the past few years I have seen this process over and over and over again: People visit a therapist where they are generously treated to one or two or five psychiatric labels. At first, they are relieved because ‘they finally know what’s wrong with them’, but soon after that the whole idea of ‘The Thing Within’ starts to build up. Now they’re not just having a specific human experience that might feel very confusing or startling or disruptive: they experience the results of their Thing. The Mental Monster hiding in the dark. The collection of evil cells that fuck you up when you least expect it. All of a sudden they start to see life through the lens of a non-existing biological failure, which then cunningly creates false evidence for the existence of that Thing. Out of nowhere, they’re not just miserable or somber or distracted: it is CAUSED by the name that was given to a couple of randomly chosen symptoms. You get the confusion? Let me clarify this painful mistake for you: Just pretend you haven’t really taken care of your kitchen for a while. There’s dirty dishes and pans and forks and knives and food and empty bottles all over the place. You could say it’s ‘a mess’, and people would agree. But what is the cause of the state of your kitchen? Is the condition of the kitchen caused by the mess? Is the word you give to this specific situation, responsible for the chaos? Of course not. That’s a total and ridiculous reverse of what’s going on, yet we do it all the time in the case of mental diseases. ADHD and bipolarity and social anxiety and all of those words that many therapists hand out like candy, can be useful as terminology in case we’re discussing human wellbeing. But they can (and often DO) become a dangerous hindrance, a self-limiting trap, when it comes to healing. When ‘suffering from painful but normal human experiences’ becomes ‘a mental illness’ which then turns into ‘being the victim of a Thing inside of you’, there’s a big chance of losing your autonomy. You are suddenly fucked by something you can’t control, an outside, devilish an unreliable entity. You are helpless. Because instead of trusting yourself and weathering the mighty storms we can sail into as people, instead of relying on our tremendous innate resilience and capacity to get back up no matter how hard you fall, we suddenly hand over our power to the idea of a disorder. That is sad. Sad and very unhelpful, in many, many cases. Sad and unhelpful and totally unnecessary. And simply not true. Now let me bust another myth for you: The mental diseases we suffer from are not the result of ‘brain imbalances’ or ‘brain deficiencies’, because those are massively debunked hypotheses. To date, there are no biomarkers of any kind available to any of the psychiatric disorders, which basically means that our diseases are not caused by an improperly-working brain. There’s no simple, isolatable malfunction somewhere in our head that makes us feel the specific things we have translated into all these labels. Human beings are not just walking piles of chemical processes, robots that you can fix by implementing emotional spare parts. We are living, feeling, sensing creatures. Our distress deserves care, and love, and patience, and words of encouragement, and the immense nourishing that derives from exploring our true nature. Please, let’s be more than brains and labels. We owe it to ourselves. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, Youtube, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Marnix! Marnix Pauwels, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Marnix Pauwels is a Dutch transformative coach and author of eight books -mostly- about mental health, living in Amsterdam with two cats. He has worked in advertising as a copywriter and Creative Director for 30 years, is a singer/songwriter and has extensive knowledge of addiction/compulsive behavior, depression, and anxiety, deepened by personal experience. Marnix has always been fascinated by what drives people, and more in particular, what drives them crazy. He’s read over 5.000 books on self-development/improvement, life-hacks, and spirituality viewed thousands of videos on the topics and kept on exploring the depths of the human mind and how to navigate our psychological storms with grace and respect. As a transformative coach, Marnix has helped thousands of people find a more playful, exciting, creative, and liberated life, living from a clear mind and a deep trust in their personal resilience. Marnix is a curious world traveler who loves to meet new people, write, wonder, and keep fit and happy.

Written by: Daniel Mangena, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. If like me you’re in your 30s/40s, striving hard to make your mark on the world, raise a family, and really cement who you are: I bet your day looks pretty full! It’s easy to think, as we emerge from a locked-down world, that we’re all struggling to find enough to do. That’s no doubt true for a lot of folks, and God willing they’ll be back on their feet in no time. But for a great deal of us; life has never been busier! Whether this is because of some kind of sudden release of pent-up opportunity, that has been concertinaed together thanks to the pandemic: who knows? It could well be. In any event, becoming a new father has also shown me just how little time I have! Kids are the wild card that keeps on showing us just how futile our plans are. This is, of course, a good thing! They remind us what life is all about and encourage us to grow into a more resourceful version of ourselves. The danger though, is that we can easily slip into a mindset of scarcity when it comes to time for ourselves. If you run a business and/or have young kids, you know what I’m talking about here. Every available moment is dedicated to someone else. You simply do not have ten minutes for yourself, because there are others depending on you! Here’s the thing though: we have to be in service, to be of service. Spreading yourself so thin to the point of destruction is not helping anyone. Pretty soon you’ll be irascible towards those around you, with little patience for perceived time-wasting distractions. You won’t have the energy to give 100% to any one thing and therefore won’t be the best at anything. None of this is to judge you, or make you feel like a ‘bad person’ for winding up like this. Quite the contrary; you’ve taken the path of service to others. Totally commendable! The simple truth though is that in order to be of maximum service to others, you need to be the most powerful, well-resourced, and energetic version of yourself that you can be. Ten double espressos ain’t gonna cut it. You need to make time for yourself. It’s as important as making sure that you have a computer that works, a desk to sit at, and clients to work for. In order to encourage you to place greater value on taking time out for yourself, here are three very good reasons. Consider them a business case if that makes it easier for you, but please be sure to take them on board! 1. Alignment This perhaps sounds like a ‘woo woo’ term, but before you dismiss it as such; let me explain. We can talk about the alignment of your heart center, your chakras, the universe, etc… Those are all valid things to consider and I would certainly encourage you to keep those in mind, but for the more ‘down-to-Earth’ around you; we’ll save those for now. Alignment is really about remaining connected to your goals, both emotionally and operationally. It is so easy (especially with kids running round) to get side-tracked through the course of your day. If you think of how many interruptions you have on a daily basis, that sap your time and divert your attention; I’m sure you can imagine just how off-course you can be by the end of the day! Having the space to stop, check in with yourself and restore alignment is critical in executing your intentions. Even if every few hours you remember to just take a couple of minutes to sit, focus on your breathing, and bring your attention back to the present. The present moment is all that is real after all. The past is gone and the future is infinitely possible. The present is the only place from which we can create anything - so make sure you get back to it! 2. You Need Time For Self-Improvement I don’t care what anyone says: self-improvement is vital to our growth as humans. I invest significant amounts of money in mine, but you don’t have to! This is the beautiful thing: there are SO many resources out there full of free advice and useful content. Even if they just help you to get started with something, they are worth checking out. Thing is - you need to give these self-improvement courses/podcasts/techniques the time they require, in order to realize their benefits of them. Otherwise, what’s the point? Maybe you’ve invested in such things in the past, only to abandon them as ‘unworkable nonsense’ once life started getting in the way. The trouble is: you’ll never really know if that was the case or not. Without sparing the time for self-improvement, the value you offer the world will diminish. Think of it like inflation: simply stuffing your money under a mattress means that you slowly lose value. Your skillset and personal value are no different! Making time to level-up is just good business, so invest your time in it! 3. Self-Love Self-love is one of those sticky subjects, that people often grapple with. What does it even mean? Some people dismiss it as being akin to self-absorption or selfishness. That’s not what this is about. You need to be able to show yourself love, true love, before you can give it to others. You also won’t be able to receive it from others. Not that they won’t love you, but you’ll struggle to recognize it when they do. Love also carries with it a frequency. Again: lest you think I’m getting ‘woo woo’ again - this is actually backed by science. It is a coherent frequency, which consumes incoherent ones like negative feelings towards ourselves. Ok, don’t trust me, trust the amazing folks over at Heart Speak . Their research has uncovered incredible truths about how we heal ourselves. Some of you may have heard my podcast with the fantastically insightful Dr. Anne Jensen. If not, I encourage you to do so by clicking here . By sending yourself love, you are doing the work of shifting those disempowering, incoherent frequencies. But you need time to do it! this is why I make sure that at least once a month, I give myself a ‘VIP day’. As you can probably imagine; this involves taking a day, just for me, where I indulge in a pampering. Whether it’s getting spa treatment, eating my lunch somewhere fancy, taking a walk on the beach… it doesn’t matter. The point is that I am showing myself just how important I am to me. It’s a reminder that all of the hard work and sacrifice, isn’t just about everyone else. In summary, taking time for yourself is not just some self-help, affirming claptrap. There is a real business case to be made for it. When the pressure is mounting and things are coming at you from all directions, remember that you have absolute dominion over your life. It’s all yours! If people want your time/advice/resources then they need to get in line. Don’t fall on your sword thinking that it’s the right thing to do. It never is. Follow me on Facebo ok , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Daniel! Daniel Mangena, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Dan Mangena is a best-selling author, entrepreneur, philanthropist, and public speaker. Recently named in the Wall St Journal as a "Master of Success," he is completely self-made and has spent decades perfecting his world-class coaching methodology. His books, podcasts, events & retreats continue to help captains-of-industry and private individuals alike live an abundant, joyful, purpose-driven life. He offers many unique and effective free tools via his website.

Written by: Suzie Ayonna Suttles, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. The prison of psychological abuse is the same abuse a person experiences while being incarcerated or spending time in the military. It has a profound effect on how you view yourself, others, and you become fearful of being vulnerable and open with people due to the trauma and pain you experienced from psychological abuse. Releasing the thoughts and insecurities surrounding these experiences can be a long and hard journey, but the good news is, it doesn’t need to be. I’ve listed 5 tips to assist you along on your journey of releasing your heart and mind from the trauma and pain of psychological abuse. Affirm yourself daily - I know this can be tough for people who experienced psychological abuse because negative views about yourself were spoken over you daily. You were mentally programmed to believe things that were contradictory to what your soul knows to be true about you. Whenever a negative belief about yourself crosses your mind, spend some time in the mirror speaking something opposite of that belief. For instance, if you were led to believe that you weren’t good enough, contradict that thought with, “I AM deserving.” Releasing your mind from the prison of psychological abuse will require the same energy as the negative images that were programmed into your psyche. It requires you to form new and positive beliefs about yourself because you are MORE THAN ENOUGH! Learn to be alone - I know being alone is a hard pill to swallow and we all desire to connect with other people, but if the people in your surroundings are negative and unsupportive, it has a negative impact on your mental and emotional health. If you can’t find people who are positive, supportive, and uplifting, learn to be alone and cultivate that within yourself. Spending time alone is necessary for a healthy relationship because you’re no longer codependent on the validation, attention, or opinions of others. If you experienced psychological trauma and abuse in your childhood, you have unhealthy thoughts and opinions about yourself. Spending time alone with yourself and by yourself allows you to create a healthier version of yourself without placing that responsibility on another human. Entering a relationship with a healthy mindset and outlook about yourself creates a healthy foundation that fosters growth and genuine partnership. Accountability - You are not responsible for the emotional and mental abuse you experienced as a child, but you are 100% responsible for seeking out the tools and resources you need to heal the trauma and abuse you experienced in your childhood. Unhealthy personalities, traits, patterns, behaviors, mindsets, and beliefs were passed down to you through generations. The time has come for you to take 100% accountability for healing the wounds that were passed down to you through generational abuse. Talk about it - You don’t have to share your story or what you went through with the world, but seeking out therapy, counseling, or getting involved with a support group will assist you with releasing the unhealthy emotions attached to your childhood trauma and abuse. Depression often arises when you are attempting to mask or hide the emotions you feel toward the people of your past who hurt you, and speaking about these feelings will only benefit your growth, healing, and letting go of the past trauma and abuse. Create new habits - Insanity is doing the same thing expecting different results. You can’t heal successfully from the trauma and psychological abuse of your past by holding onto the same unhealthy patterns, behaviors, mindsets, and beliefs. To heal properly you need to attain new knowledge and implement healthy patterns, behaviors, mindsets, and beliefs. The psychological abuse you experienced is learned behavior, so now it’s time to learn something new. These are just a few tips and suggestions, but add your personality and your own creative ideas to fit your needs. With the right amount of assistance and determination, you can unlearn unhealthy patterns and behaviors and heal your mind from psychological abuse. Self-love is the key to inner happiness and success and is a skill that can be developed with the proper training and assistance. Without self-love, you face an obstacle with self-development. Join our FREE private mental health support community today by subscribing to our monthly self-care newsletter, and start cultivating healthy self-love. Follow me on Faceboo k , Instagram , Twitter , or visit my website for more info! Read more from Suzie! Suzie Ayonna Suttles, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Suzie is a Certified Intuitive Guide, Healer, and Reader, who is a survivor of childhood psychological abuse, and domestic violence abuse. She is a thriver of PTSD, bipolar disorder, ADHD, and an Intuitive Guidance Coach fostering the heart of men beyond the abuse of their past. Empowering men to move from the mindset of the victim to the mindset of the victor. She is a published author of 6 books, and her work was featured on HubPages, HealDove, and The GTCC Titan Review. Suzie is a proud member of the Phi Theta Kappa National Honors Society.

Written by: Kamini Wood, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Codependency as a behavior pattern usually stems from the previous experiences that caused issues with self-esteem and affected our ability to differentiate ourselves from others. The individuals most likely to become codependent on others or are sometimes codependent on external validations to feel whole. For example, codependency and people-pleasing can originate from taking care of a family member with substance abuse or chronic mental health issues. Or another example of codependency on external validation would be striving for straight A’s in school in order to be noticed and accepted by parents, friends, and other family members. Codependent individuals usually have a constant need for approval and need praise to feel worthy and confident. Moreover, they may struggle with low self-esteem and an intense fear of abandonment. Also, codependent people always put the needs of others ahead of their own and tend to feel responsible for other people’s feelings. While codependent partners may feel that they are needed and in control in a relationship, codependency usually creates problems such as feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, a lack of personal time and boundaries, anxiety, stress, and depression. If you suspect you may have codependency issues, don’t be afraid to ask for help in overcoming this unhealthy attachment style. The first step in recovery and change is getting support and guidance. Fusion and codependence are deeply-rooted habits that are difficult to recognize and change alone. A mental health professional can help you acknowledge your behavior patterns and work on your past experiences. Furthermore, counseling for codependency can help you make your own decision, establish healthy boundaries, start asserting yourself in a healthy way and discover your own interests outside the codependent relationship. Benefits of Asking for Help Acknowledging that you have codependency issues is a big step forward in overcoming this unhealthy attachment style. Counseling can help you become more independent, step by step. 1. Find out who you are. Counseling for codependency can help you get to know yourself and discover who you are outside of the codependent relationship. The best way to find out about your true feelings, thoughts, and needs is to practice journaling. Writing down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences can help you reflect on your behavior and notice the gap between your feelings and your words and your actions. 2. Practice assertiveness. Assertiveness is a great way to improve your self-esteem and become more autonomous. It can help you set healthy personal boundaries, express your feelings and needs clearly, and treat yourself and others with respect. This is a skill you can practice – assertiveness will teach you how to develop a healthy contact with yourself and other people. Moreover, it will empower you to stop suppressing your thoughts and feelings and pretend to be someone else. 3. Take care of your own needs. You are great at meeting other people’s needs. On the other hand, you usually ignore your own. Identify your emotional, spiritual, physical, and social needs and learn to find ways to meet them. Consider your personal hobbies and other things you enjoy doing outside the relationship. This will help you become more self-responsible and independent. Coaching can help you learn how to tend to your own needs, build boundaries, and become more autonomous. Because becoming independent is essential to emotional, social, spiritual, and physical fulfillment and life satisfaction. Follow me on Faceboo k , Instagra m , Linked In , or visit my website for more info! Read more from Kamini! Kamini Wood, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Kamini Wood is the founder and CEO of Live Joy Your Way and the AuthenticMe® RiseUp program. An international best-selling author Kamini is driven to support people of all ages to heal their relationship with themselves and to stop outsourcing their self-worth. As a result, her clients become their own confident, resilient self-leader with healthier relationships. Kamini is a certified life coach, board-certified by the American Association of Drugless Practitioners, holds specialty certifications in Calling in the One®, Conscious Uncoupling®, NewMoney Story®, and teen life coaching. Also trained in conscious parenting, Kamini aims to meet her clients where they are, supporting and guiding them on their journey to where they want to be, both personally and professionally. Her mission: create space for each person to see the unique gifts they bring to this world.

Written by: Katie Stoddart, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. High levels of performance in business can be achieved in many ways. Though there are various tools and strategies that can benefit most of us, such as the Pareto principle (80/20) or using the Eisenhower matrix (Important/urgent) for prioritizing; our personalities and personal preferences radically change how we might go about reaching this peak state of performance. In this article, I will highlight key aspects of our personality that modify our progress in daily circumstances: Saboteurs: Restless, Stickler, Pleaser; People or task orientation; Start to End and End to Start. 1. Saboteurs When we are growing up, we develop coping strategies and mechanisms to overcome challenging situations. This leads us to have great strengths. Yet these strengths can also become a hindrance. For instance, if you have learned to strive for achievement – this is great but can lead to becoming a hyper-achiever, which means that your self-esteem is directly correlated with your achievements. In positive psychology, there are nine saboteurs: Hyper-achiever, Restless, Avoider, Stickler, Controller, Victim, Rational, Judgemental, Pleaser. You can take the test for free on the positive psychology website. Let’s look at how three of these can affect your performance. Restless Saboteur If you are the type of person that cannot spend a minute in passive action, that always feels the need to be busy, that gets a buzz from always being on the go, then there is a high chance that you have a restless saboteur. Here is how this saboteur is directly affecting your performance. You achieve results quickly; you are a fast thinker, and you don’t often procrastinate. These are the strengths of this type. On the downside, you lack reflection time (which is essential for peak performance!), and you most likely rarely take any breaks. This can lead to burnout, and in the best-case scenario, diminished focus. To get the best out of your ‘restless tendency’, you can appreciate that you are an action taker, with high energy; and start to incorporate reflection time, and breaks (even just 5 minutes every hour is better than no breaks!) Stickler Saboteur Do you get lost in detail? Do you struggle with validating your work and always feel you could improve it? This is the inner world of perfectionism – linked to the stickler saboteur. Yes, it comes with high rigor, discipline, and excellent standards but at a high cost! The time and energy spent on constant improvement are not always worth it. Furthermore, perfectionism can be a source of ongoing procrastination: the feeling that the work is never good enough to be shipped. Use your perfectionism and don’t let it use you! Enjoy the high quality you strive for but start to notice when you are going into details that no longer serve you or your work. Finding that right balance of good enough to satisfy you, without over-spending all your time and energy is a constant development for sticklers. The more you practice this, the easier it will become for you to hit that sweet spot of greatness! Pleaser Saboteur It is such a great quality to have high levels of empathy, to be of service to others, and to contribute. For some of you, however, it can become your main source of motivation. When you are asked to deliver a report for your colleague, it is a no-brainer, but when you need to do something for yourself, what an effort it becomes! This pleaser tendency – correlated with the obliger in the four tendencies by Gretchen Rubin, is very common and it can also be worked on! Some of the main aspects that pleasers benefit from working on are being more assertive – understanding what is important for you and standing up to it; learning to say no – people will respect you all the more for it and having clear boundaries – linked with saying no. 2. People or task orientation Once you are aware of your main saboteurs and how they correlate with your performance; you can start to look at your preference for people or task activities. This is very well represented in the I and C types in DISC, and can also be seen in MBTI – when looking at extroversion/introversion types. People orientation If you enjoy working with others, your performance will improve with teamwork, direct contact with colleagues, talking things out loud. As a more extroverted person, you gain energy from these interactions. This means that your performance will suffer if your work is too solitary. A few methods to cope with this: add calls/ interactions throughout the day - maybe even a brief call or seeing a friend around lunchtime can help; work with music on; have a social evening to look forward to. Planning coping strategies to add more 'people' energy will change your energy throughout the day if you are extraverted. Having high levels of energy is an essential aspect of peak performance! If you notice you are lacking the interactions you need, start to implement some more calls/social moments in your day. Task orientation On the other hand, if you are on the more introverted side of the spectrum, you will thrive in quiet, calm environments with little interaction. Your work will no doubt suffer if your schedule is filled with calls and meetings. The most efficient way to proceed is to avoid having too many calls in a row; schedule some quality deep work time with no booked meetings, and take breaks after each long call/meeting. 3. Start to End or End to Start Planner Do you enjoy starting projects but run out of steam after a few weeks or months? Or on the contrary, do you spend forever planning how you will begin a project and struggle to get going? The two most common approaches to project management are: start to end and end to start planning. Start to End Planners The enthusiasm is high at the beginning of a project. You don’t struggle with getting going that is the fun & energizing aspect for you! Often, you take on too many projects and then notice that you are suddenly overwhelmed. Consistency and finishing projects are your weak point: continuing your projects after the dazzling start. A few techniques that can help are adding variety to your project, so it always has a ‘new’ aspect; teaming up with an ‘end to start’ planner; thoroughly reflecting before launching another new project; having an accountability partner who makes sure you honor your commitments. End to Start Planners You might envy the enthusiasm and ease that ‘start to end’ planners have because what a hurdle it is for you to get going! Procrastination, analysis paralysis seep in and you might take months (or years) to begin! Once you have started though, you have great preparation behind you and the quality of your work is fantastic! Continuing and persevering are easy once you have climbed that first hill! For ‘end to start’ planners, it can be useful to embrace a ‘done over perfect’ mindset; work with a ‘start to end’ planner; have a tight deadline; have an accountability partner (to get started!) Overview & self-awareness There are so many ways in which our personalities modify the way we work, and thus impact our overall performance. The most effective way to work on this is to start to notice, raise your awareness regarding your triggers, your thoughts patterns, how you deal with emotions, your preferences, your favorite working hours and circumstances, etc. It is only through in-depth self-awareness that you will be able to get to the core of what drives you, how you process information, and how you manage your workload. Once you know this, then you can start to build the strategy and habits to reach peak performance! For more info, follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter and visit my website! Read more from Katie! Katie Stoddart, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Katie Stoddart, founder of ‘The Focus Bee’ is an award-winning, international, high-performance coach, speaker and podcast host. Katie supports leaders and business owners to reach & sustain peak performance in their business. For her weekly podcast ‘The Focus Bee Show’, Katie interviews leading experts in high performance. Passionate about living intentionally; Katie challenges each and every person she works with to re-focus on what matters most. Katie works primarily with entrepreneurs & executives through 1-1 coaching & workshops on: Focus, Leadership & Performance.

Written by: Dr. Bonita Parker, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Poor money management has been the cause of more business failures than any other single issue. And it’s no wonder. We aren’t born knowing how to manage money. And the truth of the matter is that most of us aren’t taught how to handle it or develop a positive relationship with it either. We figure it out along the way, after costly mistakes and through much trial and error. Those same mindset issues and bad habits that wreak havoc in our personal finances can plague our business finances as well if we’re not careful. Trust me, I know firsthand! Catching Shiny Object Syndrome It’s no secret that we love new things! We like to partake in what’s trending and current. I get it— some things are just hard to resist —especially when your friends and colleagues are all jumping on board! New technology, conferences, group coaching programs, and even business models can all have a strong pull, and if you aren’t careful, these shiny objects can quickly distract you from your current goals. If you find yourself catching shiny object syndrome frequently, try this two-step plan instead: For “too good to refuse” offers, make a plan for achieving a positive ROI before you purchase. If you cannot find a (realistic) way to make the purchase pay for itself, don’t buy it. Get into the habit of assessing how to monetize the investments that you make and know that it’s okay to pause and think about its benefit. For exciting new business ideas , create a “someday” list. If you are anything like me, your mind stays turned on and ideas are always coming to you. Jot down your idea and create a basic outline, then get back to the task at hand. Now that great idea won’t be lost, but it also won’t join the ranks of half-finished business plans that litter the internet. Falling for the Sunk Costs Fallacy If you’ve ever said to yourself, “I’m not using this subscription, but I can’t give it up! I’m still paying the launch price and now it’s much more expensive!” Then you’ve fallen for the sunk costs fallacy. This common mistake is famous among economists, and we all fall victim to it from time to time. Simply put, the sunk costs fallacy is what makes us justify investing more money or time in something—even though we’re not seeing results—because we’ve already spent so much. It’s what encourages us to repair the car one more time (after all, you just put new tires on it), eat a meal we don’t enjoy (simply because you’ve paid for it), and yes, continue to pay for tools and resources you’re not using. Part of my entrepreneurial success strategy was to conduct quarterly dumps that saved me from wasting tons of money on things that no longer served me well in my business. And you should too! Take time to examine your current business expenses. What are you paying for month after month that you’re not using? What can you get rid of that is no longer assisting with conversion? Either make a plan to put them to work for you, or cancel them. Stop falling for the sunk costs fallacy. Too Much Penny Pinching You thought this was all going to be about overspending, didn’t you? Here’s the kicker: Spending too little is just as bad for business as spending too much. Shocked at all? When you’re constantly on the lookout for free and low-cost tools or working 16-hour days because you “can’t afford to outsource,” you’re not doing your business any favors. Sure, it looks like you’re bootstrapping and working really hard to make something from nothing, but what you’re really doing is digging yourself a hole that will be nearly impossible to climb out of. Not only that, but you’re reinforcing a scarcity mindset that will continue to plague you for years if you let it. Rather than pinching pennies, learn to spend money strategically. Buy what you need, when you need it. Invest in top-quality products and programs rather than settling for the low-ticket, half-baked plans. Just like quality clothes, cars, and furniture, quality services and software last longer and work better. And unlike that car, good quality business tools will pay for themselves. Need a mindset reset to rebuild your relationship with money, I can help! To know more about me and my work, please visit my website and follow me on Faceb ook , Instagram , and Link edIn ! Dr. Bonita Parker, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Dr. Bonita Parker is an experienced and certified Master Life Coach, CEO Success Coach, Publisher, and 3x international bestselling author who is the driving force behind the success of Bonita Parker Enterprises, a multifaceted corporation that strategizes with new and aspiring business leaders to identify their core strengths, build out their individual success blueprint and provide resources that get excellent and proven results in their business. Dr. Bonita knows firsthand the importance that authenticity and transparency can have when building a thriving business and has dedicated her time to helping women break through emotional barriers and mental blockages that hinder their success. Under the tutelage of her Dream Achievers University (DAU), a virtual certification academy that focuses on the study of life coaching. she has helped a multitude of clients across a wide range of personal development sectors step into the light of entrepreneurship and build successful brands using her personal Radical Success Brilliance Model. Using this interactive step-by-step methodology, clients are able to break free from invisible enemies, shift their mindset and align with their optimal success path.

Written by: Wendy Dickinson , Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. I can’t count the number of times a frustrated client has come to me with challenges around an employee. If this employee also happens to be a family member or a friend, well, the situation is exponentially more complicated. Predictive Index surveyed over 600 CEOs in 2020 and found that these CEOs spend 61% of their time on people problems. Wow! That is a lot of time navigating business relationships. What’s the answer? Build a strategic plan for creating business relationships with friends & family that are not only meaningful but add value to your business. Relationships can ground a company during a period of transition and be the key to success. If you set those relationships up to work for you, and not against you! I’ve worked with business owners who partner with family, friends, and those recommended by family & friends. When they work well, they are a wonderful source of support. But, difficult relationships can derail your efforts to grow your business. Put a strategic plan into place to set those relationships up to work for you, and for your business- even the difficult ones. Years ago, my husband, JD, and I started a business, with another couple who are longtime friends. We all brought our experience to the business. JD and I come from families of business owners, mostly construction and service businesses. At the time, I was a mental health and substance abuse therapist. I had worked with people who faced challenges, changed habits, and created meaning during disruption. Very similar to those who work to bring businesses to life, isn’t it? Our friend, Preston, had this brilliant idea around document storage- and we called the company, Document Warehouse. His wife, Lorie, had the marketing expertise. JD brought in the finance and investment banking experience. I knew the psychology of ownership. From the very beginning, we set the intention to sell when the “time was right” to a particular buyer. Our target acquirer was Iron Mountain. While our goal was to sell, an equally important goal for the four of us was to maintain our friendship. Each decision made, the client obtained, system, and process put into place, was designed to fit into Iron Mountain’s model for acquisition. And, we did it! We learned the importance of setting things up to work from Day 1. We maintained our friendships while we worked through our differences & challenges within the business. We did it imperfectly and it took work. I’d like to share what we did to get to that place, The Ultimate Owner Experience O(B)x. These are the 10 steps for hiring family & friends. Start by expanding your awareness of your responsibilities as an owner and the potential pitfalls of hiring friends and family. If your friend or relative wants to come and work with you, don’t say yes until you’ve done your due diligence. Step 1: Define the role with specific tasks, deliverables, attributes required. Consider the length of time that a person would be in that role and where he/she might go from there. If the two of you are to be partners, clearly define the amount of time each person will put in each week, the amount of money each person will invest, and what each of you hope to achieve. Step 2: Make a thorough assessment of Who you are: values, vision, strengths, gifts, blind spots, knowledge gaps, and weaknesses. Step 3: Bring that lens to the candidate for the role. Discover their values, vision, strengths, gifts, blind spots, knowledge gaps, and weaknesses. Step 4: Answer these questions separately and then together: How do your values, mission/purpose, values, and vision align? Where do they disconnect? How do the two lists complement one another? How are each expressed in a work environment? What is the value the other person brings to the table? What would the person be expected to deliver? How would the person be expected to contribute to the company? Step 5: Create a thumbnail sketch of each person on the team. Don’t forget that our brains look for confirmation of our beliefs. You need to make sure you are seeing the other people clearly. To do that, check for validity with the other person. Step 6: Discuss what you’ve learned about one another. Next, evaluate the possible advantages and disadvantages of working together. Consider how this working relationship may impact your personal relationship. Step 7: Compare your thumbnail sketches with the job description. Where might this person fall short? What are the attributes that will fit? Is this the right person for the right seat? Step 8: How does this person learn best? How well are you suited to teaching, coaching, mentoring this person? What does this person need from you to succeed? How willing are you to deliver what this person needs to succeed? Step 9: Decide how the two of you will navigate a difference of opinion. Outline the steps each of you would ideally like to happen to feel whole coming out of the differences. Step 10: Discuss personal AND professional growth and development. This is the chance to share the vision that you have for the company, along with the roles that you and others who join the team will play in bringing that vision to life. Explore what success looks like to you and to the other person. Difficult relationships are one of the biggest energy drains for any company. In a family business, they can be catastrophic for both the business and the family. This happens all of the time and is entirely preventable. Prevent that from happening by creating a strategic plan for all of your business relationships. You can learn more about how I help clients accomplish this in my new book, Work The Bugs Out: Practices to Work In, & On, Your Business . Set your company up, and those who work alongside you, to successfully contribute to the psychological safety of the organization’s culture. This will allow you and your company to become consciously profitable and allow you to minimize the impact on your personal relationships. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, and visit my website for more info! Wendy Dickinson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Wendy Dickinson is the founder of Ascend Coaching Solutions LLC, the expert among coaches and consultants, for thriving, viable businesses, who want to protect and cultivate their business legacy. Growing up, Wendy saw the impact of creating a job, rather than an asset, from a privately held business. Wendy recognized the critical gaps in knowledge that become pitfalls for many company presidents. She offers high-impact resources that unlock the executive’s path to profitability and resiliency. As an expert in organizational culture within government, and business settings - Wendy offers talent optimization tools, along with value-added, consciously profitable strategies to potential investors, future prospects, and strategic partners. Techniques include increasing an organization’s changeability, psychological safety, and resilience. Wendy co-founded 3 companies, one of which sold to a Fortune 1000.

Written by: Graham Wheatcroft, Guest Writer Brainz Magazine The simple steps to achieve this that takes as little as 30-minutes per week including time-efficient fitness, and meditation creating more resilience. In these challenging times, many people experience varying levels of anxiety, lower levels of fitness, and lack of connection with the self. Many people say to me that they do not have the time for themselves… I ask you this, "Have you thought that it’s about how you use the time to its greatest efficiency?" We cannot create more time as we have all have the same in a day: 1440 minutes. In this article, I will be introducing you to some strategies that take as little as 30 minutes to action collectively but will change your level of power and productivity for the day significantly. How To Have Less Anxiety When I was battling my own anxiety, I had been offered medication to help me through. I made the personal choice that I could work through this using the tools and tactics that I was already accustomed to without medication: I chose physical, mental and spiritual meditation. This helped me connect back to my mind and body. Taking simple actions in these three areas, achieving small hits and achievements became the game-changer. An outline of each stage is below: Physical Meditation: The Vertical Lift “Dragan’s” This is a simple, unconventional but highly effective lift, created by Dragan Radovic, involving just a pair of dumbbells and nothing else. Ideally weighing in at a minimum of 10% of your body weight, maximum 20-25% of your bodyweight. Firstly warm up with air squats until your body feels warm for two to five minutes or 100 repetitions. Stand comfortably with feet shoulder-width apart, slightly wider if necessary. Lower into a seated position, back straight, eyes forward. As you lower, your hands come in front of the face, not the chest. How To Dragan Lift And Have Greater Fitness: Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart and comfortable. Hold a dumbbell in each hand with the weight in front of your thigh. Start with one arm: bicep curl, then move into a shoulder press taking the arm vertical but not locking out the arm. Natural movement is key. Bring the arm back down and repeat on the other arm. You may find you naturally have a slight forward or sideways lean as you move the weight and engage the core. This is fine, but should not hurt the back in any way. As one weight goes above the head, the core muscles on the opposite side of your body will engage, helping you raise the dumbbell upwards. I would encourage deep controlled breathing on each rep. You will find your heart rate increase steadily as you lift, so you get the added benefit of strength, cardio, and an endurance workout simultaneously… saving you time. I would encourage you to start small and build up. Aim for one hundred without a break, but if necessary increase in increments of fifty or less depending on your own level of fitness. The lifts should take approximately ten to minutes to complete one hundred. With practice, you’ll be able to complete three hundred and more in one go. Synchronise your breathing and lifting rhythm. I recommend exhaling as you push the weight up, you will naturally inhale as you lower the weight. This is a great way to focus your mind and body allowing you to block out any outside distractions and be truly present. As I lift I like to imagine I am following a pathway that is taking me forward in all I do. It’s a useful visualisation. Staying calm and relaxed throughout your lifting session is highly recommended. It’s not about rushing them. Become present and focus on one lift at a time at a steady rhythm. The Dragan lifts will help you connect with yourself physically and mentally, for some people it can become a spiritual experience the longer you lift. My client shared this about the Dragan Lifts: “I wanted to say that Dragan Lifts are very meditative for me. The flow of the lift is very calming.” How To Create Connection With Yourself Rather than the word “meditation” I prefer to use the word connection. Connection is very much centred around breathing, being present and having an awareness of oneself. The traditional approach is to sit cross-legged with a straight back or lie down, close your eyes and then try to clear your mind. This does have its merits and gives you the opportunity to go deep within, however, I recommend also trying these alternatives: Take yourself for a walk in nature, barefoot if possible, become aware of your surroundings, touch the floor, the trees. Find a spot just for you. Go barefoot on the grass in your garden, feel the grass on the soles of your feet. Ground yourself. My favourite though is something I learned called Zen Swings: Stand with your feet just wider than shoulder-width apart and begin swinging your arms across yourself from left to right. You will naturally know what rhythm feels right for you. As you sway side to side go up lightly onto your tiptoes. You can also allow your neck to gently move side to side. The swings allow your body to loosen off, a bit like stretching (which also has its benefits, I stretch regularly) but also brings a sense of calm and fun, they have a childlike quality. Zen swings originate from Qi-Gong. I first discovered these through a guy called Troy Casey. Five minutes will make you feel great, but I encourage you to aim for 20 minutes to feel a deeper level of change, physically and mentally. By choosing to take action consistently you begin the process of growth and change, physically, mentally, and spiritually. By choosing change you will become resilient. It can seem daunting at first but it’s never too late to start. The time investment to achieve the actions above is small, but with a little commitment, not just motivation, you can get there. If you feel that I can help you reach out through my social media links. As you go into the day consider using this little mantra: “I choose to feel ease, to breathe, to flow and grow. I am resilient.” Book your Acceleration call to apply for my 12-Week Acceleration Program or to learn more. Follow Graham on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin and visit his Youtube Channel. You can also listen to his podcast here! Graham Wheatcroft, Guest Writer Brainz Magazine In 2016 I was overcoming the challenges of a relationship breakdown and, on reflection, a very unfulfilled life. I faced untold anxiety issues that led me to feel in a dark place and a very low point in my life. I was determined to break free from this downward spiral. My journey into the deep work of physical, mental and spiritual meditation began and would change the course of my life forever as I found my new life balance. The beauty of my journey was that I discovered how to do all this in a time-efficient way. It gave me the opportunity to professionally increase my levels of focus and productivity in a way that I never thought possible. I promote the use of simple tools such as your bodyweight and dumbbells. I also introduce other factors into the mix as I believe meditation, breathing and focus have a significant part in obtaining an overall feeling of accomplishment. Through this, I like to think that I bring something new and dynamic to the table. As a Remote Resilient and Fitness Coach, I am passionate about helping individuals and businesses globally to bring this method and mechanism of training to their lives and workforces.

Written by: Eleonor Amora Marklund, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. My life’s work is guiding people out of darkness. That work takes multiple shapes. I help people heal trauma and address the questions within through spiritual exploration. I show private clients how to achieve wealth, health, and sovereignty without depleting themselves or becoming a tasty snack for psychic predators. And I also teach and support budding authors to successfully use their voices and stories to build an inspiring legacy, while helping readers connect to the Universe and their consciousness on a deeper level. Because I believe that stories are lights that lead us toward our personal truths. When we share them, we become stronger and more fulfilled. I’ve shared my own stories in a string of bestselling books, including my recent title Arise: Stories of Fierce, Fearless & Unapologetic Women Being Their Own Guiding Stars. Like many of my books, this one is an inspiring compilation of diverse perspectives written by seventeen brave, bold, and unapologetic women. Women who refused to give up despite adversities and severe setbacks in life. Women who followed their own inner guiding stars, creating the reality of their dreams and fulfilling their soul purpose. Every single one of them dug deep, got vulnerable, and shared their stories of tragedy and triumph, hoping to help readers empathize and heal. And in doing so, they healed themselves, too. Stormborn Every multi-author book I assemble and edit through my publishing and media company, House of Sovereignty, is a rewarding collaboration among inspiring storytellers. And each one furthers my mission to help women live in tune with themselves and reach their full potential through various means. Now, my upcoming book Stormborn, set to release on September 24th, aims to raise the bar higher, inspire more lives, and help women overcome their personal trials and become powerful and successful. Stormborn tells the stories of various women who have battled through the storm and made it to the light while sharing the tools and techniques they used so other women can overcome their personal storms. Each story is a journey and one that thousands can relate to and will be the courage and motivation you will need to keep going! Become an Author and Change Lives The House of Sovereignty offers a unique opportunity for you to become a contributing author and start your authorship journey today. Our books help individuals become the best versions of themselves. Whether it is helping them overcome trials, gain confidence, or simply need encouragement to keep going. If you are ready to own your voice and are interested in contributing to my next multi-author book, please reach out and share your story with me. Let’s work together to help change the world! Want to learn more from Eleonor? Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin or visit her website. Read more from Eleonor! Eleonor Amora Marklund, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Eleonor Amora Marklund is esteemed internationally as the forefront coach for spiritual warriors known as Indigos. Renowned for her groundbreaking work in esotericism, Eleonor is an Amazon Best-Selling Author who has published over ten bestsellers such as Arise and others. Her entrepreneurial success and dedication to helping others earned a 2020 Brainz Global Award, among distinguished honorees Elon Musk, Kamala Harris, Greta Thunberg, and Jay Shetty.

Written by: Susan Salter, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. What is a Feeling? What is the difference between a feeling and a sensation? Sensations are involuntary and start in the body. Feelings, or emotions, start in the brain and are a vibration we experience in the body. Feelings are caused by what we think. When describing your feelings, a good practice is to tell them in one word. As you become more familiar with the Model, you'll realize that your thinking causes your feelings. This realization makes people want to change their thinking immediately. This is called thought swapping. "Oh, this thought is making me feel horrible! I need a better thought!" But it's not as simple as just trying on a new thought. That may work occasionally, but the first step is to increase your awareness for the most part. Pay attention to your thinking and noticing what you're feeling is not something most people do regularly. Also, from new houses and cars to relationships and good fortune for loved ones, we all have hopes and desires for ourselves and the people around us. But the truth is, what we really want are the feelings we believe we'll have once we get those things. Take a moment and think about what you want. Then go a layer deeper and ask yourself what you really, really want. Finally, ask yourself how you believe you'll feel when you get what you want. You'll find that in every case, it's the feeling you desire, and that's great news when you consider that all of your feelings come from your thought, which we get to choose. As humans, we typically don't like the way negative emotions feel, so much of our behavior is an attempt to change or avoid them. Most people are unaware of what they are feeling most of the time and can certainly label their feelings. If you want to change your life, you must become aware of what you're feeling in the present moment. Resisting, Reacting, Avoiding We're not taught to feel emotions. The feeling is the ability that most of us need to learn because the media and social conditioning teach us to escape emotions. We are even taught that positive emotions aren't enough by themselves; they need to be highlighted by purchasing something. There are three main things we do with uncomfortable emotions. First, we tend to resist them. This is confusing because so many of us think that resisting emotion is the same as feeling, but it creates no relief. It's the difference between opening the door of emotion or holding it shut. They both might seem productive, but resistance creates more tension and perpetuates the emotion. Reacting is another way that people like to describe the feeling. Yelling or screaming or crying is not the same as feeling. When we act out our emotions, we seem to be releasing something and feeling something, but we're often just acting them out and not processing or feeling them at all. The feeling doesn't look like "acting"- the feeling is something you can do sitting on a chair and experiencing a subtle vibration. Our culture has made avoiding emotion quite easy and acceptable. The two most common ways people avoid emotions are by overeating/overdrinking and working. What are the feelings you have? When you start to become more conscious of your feelings, you'll spend much more time observing yourself. This may be awkward and might not come easily. It is important to remind yourself that feelings are harmless. A feeling is simply vibration and nothing more. Feelings can be felt without taking any action or reacting at all. How To Allow Emotion? Allowing is a skill you have to learn and practice. It is not the same as reacting to emotion. It's not the same as pretending it's not there. Let's say you're feeling angry. When you allow the feeling of anger without resisting, reacting, or avoiding it, you will notice it by observing it with compassion. The easiest way to do this is to describe the emotion in detail. Write it down. Ask yourself, "what am I feeling? Where is it in my body? How do I know I am feeling it rather than another emotion? What Is specific about this one?" Then, instead of trying to get rid of it, breathe it in. Allow it by opening your heart up to it. Move toward it. Know that you can handle the emotion. It's just a vibration in your body. Often, you will feel your body wanting to tighten up against it. That's OK- release it. Let the emotion be heavy or buzz or vibrate or agitate. Whatever the emotion needs to do in your body, allow without suffering. As soon as you're observing and describing the emotion, feel yourself soften. Accept the emotion without judgment and notice. It's like the metaphor of carrying around a heavy purse of emotion for as long as it takes. This skill is one of the most important you will ever learn. Once you are good at it, it can completely change your relationship with yourself and all the people you contact because you won't be reactive but rather the compassionate observer. What Are The Feelings You Want To Create? Because everything we do is based on how we think it will feel, it becomes important to think about what we want to feel. We can't create any feeling we want to create regularly. Indulgent Emotions — The most common indulgent emotions are worry, confusion, and overwhelm. The Worst Feeling — When you begin to realize that the worst emotion you can feel is just a vibration, you start to be willing to feel anything- and there's nothing you won't be willing to do to get what you want. An Overview On Feelings: Negative and Positive Feelings are a part of the human experience. We have a contrast of positiv and negative feelings that makes all feel possible. If we experienced only positive emotion, we wouldn't even know it was positive. We couldn't be able to appreciate beauty without ugliness. Despite this, most of us assume that life should be better than it is. We desperately want there to be more good in the world than bad. Many of us feel that our true purpose in life is to conquer all the bad things so we can live in a paradise of good without any evil. We don't realize that this one belief has caused more pain and violence than has ever been necessary. It has also proven to be impossible. As we use violence, hate, and judgment to reduce violence, hate, and judgment, we inadvertently do the exact opposite. Some people talk about standing up for themselves and fighting for what they believe in. Most often, what they believe in is kindness and peace. They miss the fact that fighting is actually the opposite of that. I want to introduce you to a new way of looking at the world that will change the way you think and ultimately feel. Negative And Positive Consider for a moment that maybe our human experience is supposed to be a balance of positive and negative. If you accept this concept, you will be thrust into a world with much less negative about the negative. Think about it. If we could stop hating the hate, there would be less hate. But how can we overcome injustice if we don't get mad and fight for it? That is a great question, and your mind might quickly go to all the examples of times when fighting an injustice brought a win-but the win was the balance to the fight. This can apply to big social issues and smaller daily issues. If you understand the balance of emotion, your power in the world and your ability to change it increase tenfold. We Must Wrap Our Minds Around The Following Concepts And See How They All Work Together We create the thoughts that create our feelings. The human experience is a balance of positive and negative emotions. We have the ability to create and resist emotions. Evolved Language Has Increased Our Need For Emotional Awareness Our emotions have evolved as our brains have evolved. Our thinking causes our emotions, so our thinking has become more sophisticated with expanding language, so have our emotions. As our brains move into new territories of thought, we will move into new territories of emotion. This is exciting, but only if we develop our understanding of balance. If our language and thought patterns convince us that we should be happy all the time and that negative emotion is something to eradicate, we will get lost n thought loops and buffering. Buffering comes from our need to experience more pleasure than pain. When we accept that pain and discomfort are actually a healthy part of the human we can release the need for false pleasure. If our thoughts cause our feelings, think about how much pain these seemingly positive thoughts have brought to the world: Parents should be kind. Parents should provide a lovely upbringing for their children. People should live to old age. There shouldn't be hate. People shouldn't hurt each other. Weather events shouldn't damage lives. There should be no mental illness. Husbands and wives should always be faithful. There should be no abuse. These are just a sampling of thoughts that cause so much unnecessary and unhelpful suffering. The Example Of Abuse Let's take the last thought: There should be no abuse. But there is abuse. There has always been abuse. Most of us have committed some abuse in our lives. There will always be abuse as long as there are humans. Accepting this does not put us in a victim mentality-in fact, it does just the opposite. It gives the truth a voice. Instead of hiding it in shame, it becomes more easily discussed and understood. We're under the false impression that resisting abuse and attempting to eliminate it is somehow working to remove it from the human experience altogether. But that hasn't worked and will never work. Human abuse will always exist. So now what? Emotional abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse are actually more the norm than you would imagine. Many victims make this abuse mean something so terrible that they're unable to move forward. They're filled with hate toward their abusers and shame toward themselves. Resisting negative emotions perpetuates the negative instead of allowing for balance and healing. Accepting the negative is nothing like condoning it. What it does is bring the negative out in the light of day. Many clients have never spoken f abuse because it isn't supposed to be happening, but it is happening in so many families worldwide. What if we all knew abuse happens as part of the human experience and we all talked about it more openly? We would understand it more, and there would be no shame to compound the suffering. This applies to all things negative and all things human. Humans are a terrible mess half the time. Most of us know this is true in our lives, but we spend much time pretending it isn't. We hide and resist that part of us in the dark. This pulls us away from consciousness. Hiding it in shame, it becomes more easily discussed and understood. We're under the false impression that resisting abuse and attempting to eliminate it is somehow working to remove it from the human experience altogether. But that hasn't worked and will never work. Human abuse will always exist. So now what? Emotional abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse are actually more the norm than you would imagine. Many victims make this abuse mean something so terrible that they're unable to move forward. They're filled with hate toward their abusers and shame toward themselves. Resisting negative emotions perpetuates the negative instead of allowing for balance and healing. Accepting the negative is nothing like condoning it. What it does is bring the negative out in the light of day. Many clients have never spoken f abuse because it isn't supposed to be happening, but it is happening in so many families worldwide. What if we all knew abuse happens as part of the human experience, and we all talked about it more openly? We would understand it more, and there would be no shame to compound the suffering. This applies to all things negative and all things human. Humans are a terrible mess half the time. Most of us know this is true in our lives, but we spend much time pretending it isn't. We hide and resist that part of us in the dark. This pulls us away from consciousness. To feel disappointed, even though we know this feeling is optional. We want to feel horrified when the negative happens--not because it shouldn't be part of our experience but also because it is part. We are "given" (for lack of a better word) emotions to feel and experience as we journey on this planet. We want and need the negative ones. We don't want to feel joy all the time--we want to feel the range based on what's happening in the world and how we think about it. Once you accept this, you can live a more conscious life. What Are The Feelings You Choose? Positive: Love Abundance Motivation Focus Desire Negative: Sadness Pain Loss Disappointment Fear You can't choose to feel happy all the time, and you shouldn't want to. But you can decide what emotions serve. Discomfort Is The Price Of Growth To be happy all the time, we stay away from the discomfort that could help us evolve and inspire us to make our dreams come true. We would be willing to fail epically and try courageously if we accepted that emotional balance means 50% of the time, we'll be on the other side of happiness. That is the normal human experience. How do we reconcile living a life where we're responsible for what we think and feel while also embracing that half of our life will be hard and painful? Consciously and deliberately. We get to select our emotions on purpose by what we think. This does not mean we should always be selecting emotions that are happy and positive. Being happy 100% of the time is not the goal. This is a misunderstanding. The goal is humanness, to live the human experience as well as possible, knowing that it includes many contracts on purpose. Choose humanness over happiness to have more peace. When someone dies, and people will, we want to feel grief, even though we know death is part of the human experience. When someone abuses us, we want to feel angry, even though we know abuse is part of the human experience. When we lose, we want. The emotions we tend to avoid are the same emotions we need to work through to get the results we want. The Most Common Of These Are... Discomfort Deprivation Urge Overdesire Boredom Dissatisfaction Failure Insecurity Rage Anxiety This isn't a complete list, but you get the idea. The unwillingness to stay conscious when these emotions come up is a cause of suffering, addiction, overeating, overdrinking, and behavior disorders. The skill of allowing emotion is something I am passionate about teaching my clients. Discomfort of all kinds is the currency to your dreams. More on Indulgent Emotions Allowing emotions is different than indulging in emotions. Sometimes we indulge in emotions as a way of staying stuck you best in this balance between positivity and negativity. Imagine a silver platter filled with emotions. What are the ones you need and the ones you want to feel on purpose? What about those feelings we don't seem to choose, the ones that come upon us without our permission? As you go through this process of accepting the balance f emotion, you will feel less accosted by your unwanted emotions, but you will still experience them. The "thought error" and the brain mechanism will repeat for you. Again, this is another human normality. Unwanted Emotions You Choose To Experience Consider the unwanted emotions you're willing to experience as part of being human. Indulgent emotions are the emotions you would be willing to experience, but you might also tend to indulge in them without realizing it. It's an important distinction—allowing an emotion versus indulging in an emotion. For example, we sometimes need to allow emotions that we would normally resist or avoid. This is important because the negative effect of avoiding and resisting emotion is needless. The Most Common Indulgences We See Are: Confusion Doubt Worry Pity Self-loathing Anxiety Defensiveness Pleasure Overwhelm Victimization These feelings seem important, and it may seem justified to feel them on purpose. But these feelings are the ones that keep us from taking the action we most want to take. These emotions and the thoughts that cause them are the "dream excuses" that curtail our ability to amaze ourselves with the lives we could lead. The way to stop indulging is to go on a diet from these thoughts and feelings. You don't want to allow these emotions to pretend to be necessary for your life. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, and visit my website for more info! Susan Salter, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Susan Salter is a thought leader specializing in success coaching and personal styling. After a successful corporate career as an executive working for companies like Bank of America, PayPal, and Barclays, she decided to retire and start her own company, Life Styled By Susan. Through her coaching programs she helps women and men reach their next level of success, whether that's scaling the corporate ladder or becoming their own CEO. Susan believes that in order to be successful you must have a strong mindset and a confident physical presence. Her signature 1:1 and group coaching program, Elevate Your Success, starts with exploring your mind so that you can break free from the negative thought cycles, improve your communication, and build better relationships. Next, she focuses on the external by focusing on how you present yourself, your body language, and how how you dress. Susan is a sought after speaker, and has made it her life's mission to lift up and elevate your success, so that you can achieve your impossible goals.