10 Steps You Must Take Before You Hire Friends & Family

Written by: Wendy Dickinson, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

I can’t count the number of times a frustrated client has come to me with challenges around an employee. If this employee also happens to be a family member or a friend, well, the situation is exponentially more complicated. Predictive Index surveyed over 600 CEOs in 2020 and found that these CEOs spend 61% of their time on people problems. Wow! That is a lot of time navigating business relationships.

What’s the answer? Build a strategic plan for creating business relationships with friends & family that are not only meaningful but add value to your business. Relationships can ground a company during a period of transition and be the key to success. If you set those relationships up to work for you, and not against you!

I’ve worked with business owners who partner with family, friends, and those recommended by family & friends. When they work well, they are a wonderful source of support. But, difficult relationships can derail your efforts to grow your business. Put a strategic plan into place to set those relationships up to work for you, and for your business- even the difficult ones.

Years ago, my husband, JD, and I started a business, with another couple who are longtime friends. We all brought our experience to the business. JD and I come from families of business owners, mostly construction and service businesses.

At the time, I was a mental health and substance abuse therapist. I had worked with people who faced challenges, changed habits, and created meaning during disruption. Very similar to those who work to bring businesses to life, isn’t it?

Our friend, Preston, had this brilliant idea around document storage- and we called the company, Document Warehouse. His wife, Lorie, had the marketing expertise. JD brought in the finance and investment banking experience. I knew the psychology of ownership. From the very beginning, we set the intention to sell when the “time was right” to a particular buyer. Our target acquirer was Iron Mountain.

While our goal was to sell, an equally important goal for the four of us was to maintain our friendship. Each decision made, the client obtained, system, and process put into place, was designed to fit into Iron Mountain’s model for acquisition. And, we did it! We learned the importance of setting things up to work from Day 1.

We maintained our friendships while we worked through our differences & challenges within the business. We did it imperfectly and it took work. I’d like to share what we did to get to that place, The Ultimate Owner Experience O(B)x.

These are the 10 steps for hiring family & friends.

Start by expanding your awareness of your responsibilities as an owner and the potential pitfalls of hiring friends and family. If your friend or relative wants to come and work with you, don’t say yes until you’ve done your due diligence.

Step 1: Define the role with specific tasks, deliverables, attributes required. Consider the length of time that a person would be in that role and where he/she might go from there. If the two of you are to be partners, clearly define the amount of time each person will put in each week, the amount of money each person will invest, and what each of you hope to achieve.

Step 2: Make a thorough assessment of Who you are: values, vision, strengths, gifts, blind spots, knowledge gaps, and weaknesses.

Step 3: Bring that lens to the candidate for the role. Discover their values, vision, strengths, gifts, blind spots, knowledge gaps, and weaknesses.

Step 4: Answer these questions separately and then together:

• How do your values, mission/purpose, values, and vision align?

• Where do they disconnect?

• How do the two lists complement one another?

• How are each expressed in a work environment?

• What is the value the other person brings to the table?

• What would the person be expected to deliver?

• How would the person be expected to contribute to the company?

Step 5: Create a thumbnail sketch of each person on the team. Don’t forget that our brains look for confirmation of our beliefs. You need to make sure you are seeing the other people clearly. To do that, check for validity with the other person.

Step 6: Discuss what you’ve learned about one another. Next, evaluate the possible advantages and disadvantages of working together. Consider how this working relationship may impact your personal relationship.

Step 7: Compare your thumbnail sketches with the job description. Where might this person fall short? What are the attributes that will fit? Is this the right person for the right seat?

Step 8: How does this person learn best? How well are you suited to teaching, coaching, mentoring this person? What does this person need from you to succeed? How willing are you to deliver what this person needs to succeed?

Step 9: Decide how the two of you will navigate a difference of opinion. Outline the steps each of you would ideally like to happen to feel whole coming out of the differences.

Step 10: Discuss personal AND professional growth and development. This is the chance to share the vision that you have for the company, along with the roles that you and others who join the team will play in bringing that vision to life. Explore what success looks like to you and to the other person.

Difficult relationships are one of the biggest energy drains for any company. In a family business, they can be catastrophic for both the business and the family. This happens all of the time and is entirely preventable. Prevent that from happening by creating a strategic plan for all of your business relationships. You can learn more about how I help clients accomplish this in my new book, Work The Bugs Out: Practices to Work In, & On, Your Business.

Set your company up, and those who work alongside you, to successfully contribute to the psychological safety of the organization’s culture. This will allow you and your company to become consciously profitable and allow you to minimize the impact on your personal relationships.

Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, and visit my website for more info!

Wendy Dickinson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Wendy Dickinson is the founder of Ascend Coaching Solutions LLC, the expert among coaches and consultants, for thriving, viable businesses, who want to protect and cultivate their business legacy.

Growing up, Wendy saw the impact of creating a job, rather than an asset, from a privately held business. Wendy recognized the critical gaps in knowledge that become pitfalls for many company presidents. She offers high-impact resources that unlock the executive’s path to profitability and resiliency.

As an expert in organizational culture within government, and business settings - Wendy offers talent optimization tools, along with value-added, consciously profitable strategies to potential investors, future prospects, and strategic partners. Techniques include increasing an organization’s changeability, psychological safety, and resilience. Wendy co-founded 3 companies, one of which sold to a Fortune 1000.