Why You Are Struggling To Stick To A Diet? And How To Stop Dieting Forever

Written by: Shayla Lam, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

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If you are constantly dieting, find yourself saying ‘I am on a diet’, or feel like you have spent your whole life dieting and haven’t ever gotten sustainable results, it’s time to lean into a new perspective. I will share why the diets you’ve been on just haven't worked and alternative solutions you may not have even considered.

A little bit about me

I spent a lot of my life dieting, I grew up around seeing a lot of people dieting. It never worked. I also came from a history of 17 years eating disorder and overcame it. I spent 17 years in cycles of dieting, binging, restricting and never really enjoyed food, but rather saw it as ‘good’ or ‘bad’, and felt a lot of guilt and shame around food. Years of healing my relationship with food, exercise and the relationship with myself, saw me overcoming one of my greatest battles, but also saw me accomplishing one of my goals of competing in a body-building competition, winning but most importantly in the best mindset possible. Here’s the crazy (and not so crazy) thing is that I have eaten and enjoyed more of my favorite foods, enjoying food freedom and in the best shape of my life now than I ever was when I was ‘dieting’. As part of my coaching, I’ve helped many clients ditch their ‘dieting’ perceptions and instead design a lifestyle they love and can sustain that yields long-term results. Some of the reasons you might find yourself struggling to stick to a diet are:

• You want to drop weight quickly and if it isn’t dropping, you believe it isn’t working.

• You’re solely focused on the ‘weight’, the number on the scale.

• Your approach is an ‘all in or nothing’ approach, so you give up everything you love.

• You see it as a short-term journey to only go back to your old routine.

• You call it a ‘diet’ and it feels as if you have to suffer to get any results. If this sounds anything like what you are experiencing, then read on.
  

1. Weight loss is not linear, so you shouldn’t expect it to be

We have this funny thing with expecting results to happen overnight, with one day, a few days or a few weeks to expect results and then expect results to continue at a linear rate. This is far from the truth. It hasn’t taken just a few days to gain the weight you have – rather it has been a result of daily choices, habits and behaviours you’ve repeated over a period of time, often years. So it will take a repetition of new habits, behaviours and choices over a period of time to get the results you desire. Patience is key. Along with consistency.

2. Relinquish focusing on the ‘weight’ you need to get to. Focus on your new habits, behaviors and ultimately design your lifestyle

This is where I coach my clients to ‘surrender the outcome’. Sounds contradictory but hear me out, when you set out to achieve weight loss, the primary focus should then move to your new habits and behaviours – this comes down to food choices, portions, daily movement, resistance training, rest, sleep and managing stress. Before that, it comes down to letting go/undoing some habits and behaviours that are not serving you, or your health and fitness journey. And then incorporating habits and behaviours that will support you. The results will come as a by-product of your habits, actions and behaviours done on a consistent basis.

3. If your ‘diet’ consists of ‘extreme practices that you cannot sustain for a long period of time, you need to ditch it and design your new lifestyle that support you, your health and well-being

I used to run 2 hours a day on the treadmill every day, eating as little as possible, thinking that would give me results. It would feel like torture and of course I never got the results I desired. Before my clients came on board with me, they share with me their previous protocols that worked for them temporarily before realising they needed support and a more sustainable way. Some had been over-training, hours in the gym every day, some had been undereating, some had a really distorted view of themselves, food, nutrition, and exercise. Extreme practices don’t work, not for long-term success or good health.

Of course in certain goals, like bodybuilding, as myself have had this experience of dieting for a long period to get into a physique that isn’t sustainable requires protocols that are more ‘dialled in’. If you are looking to lose weight, body fat, get strong, build some muscle mass (and no you will not look like Hulk), you can do this with a sustainable approach, one that you enjoy and with food freedom incorporating the foods you love – yes, including chocolate!

4. If what you are currently doing is only a short-term fix, a band-aid approach to only revert back to old ways, it’s time to assess

If you set out to go on a ‘diet’ to only go back to old ways when you get to your goal, it really is time to assess. This one is a big one. If you revert to old ways that got you here (where you don’t want to be) then guess what happens? You will get back to where you started and in some cases, may gain more weight (another topic for another day). The reason why you are where you are is most probably because you have in some way or another neglected your health, your fitness, your nutrition and have picked up habits and behaviours that haven’t served you, so this is an opportunity to analyse your lifestyle, your choices, your habits – are they serving you or are they the contributing factors to your current circumstance;

• Is spending the evenings scrolling on the phone, binging on Netflix and having that glass of wine or two daily to ‘wind down’ really ‘winding down’ or is it a form of coping mechanism that really isn’t serving you for the long term?

• Or the takeaway 3x a week because you’re rushed from work and didn’t ‘have time’ to cook or is it because you hadn’t dedicated time to prepare healthy nutritious meals knowing you will have limited time to cook during the week?

• Mindlessly eating, eating whilst you’re on your phone, skipping the gym, because you’re too tired, you don’t have time or is it because you’ve found yourself in ‘survival mode’ rather than choosing a bit of discomfort and doing the things that propel your forward for your health, well-being and yourself.
  

5. If losing weight feels like you have to suffer, it won’t last

There will be discomfort if you want to lose weight. That’s inevitable. There are going to be moments where you are hungry. There are going to be days where you would rather hit the snooze button. It’s too cold, too wet to get to the gym, go for a walk. There are going to be occasions where you turn down the extra snacks, treats at events and choose other alternatives. There is going to be planning ahead, food shopping, and preparing your meals that may take up a couple or so hours. There will be moments of discomfort, but this is part of the process. Habits and behaviours that propel you towards your fat loss goals, your physique & lifestyle transformation. This doesn’t mean you have to suffer. If your current protocols are causing you more ‘suffering’ and it feels a lot like torture, then you should realise real quick the journey won’t last. And in some cases, it may have negative effects in your health. But for real changes, a level of discomfort is required, and necessary for long-term sustainable results. A new lifestyle change that supports you, your goals and your weight loss journey.

OK, so what do I do?

1. Assess your current habits and behaviours. Are they serving you? Or are they the cause of what’s brought you here?

Really critique your current situation, lifestyle choices – this will raise self-awareness. Before you add more ‘things’ it is first crucial to eliminate the things that doesn’t serve you.

2. Visualise, write down what an ideal lifestyle would look like for you?

I was speaking to a woman who was trying to lose weight and had success but she said she had been walking 20,000 plus steps a day. She said she wouldn’t be able to keep this up but she had to do this for now to lose the weight. When I challenged her what her ideal lifestyle looked like, she said training 3x a week, and being active everyday.

Do you see it? So consider your commitments, social, family, work, personal – what would an ideal health and fitness routine look like where it is your foundation rather than the first things that goes out the window when the other demands increase.

Instead of being ‘hyper focused ‘ – ‘on a diet’, look at it long term, a lifestyle change, in order for you to sustain long-term results, you just have a sustainable lifestyle. In order for you to make some changes to your physique, you’ll want to understand the fundamentals, and see this as a journey for life. How I work with my clients when they desire to lose weight, is that we ‘design ‘ a lifestyle that uniquely supports them. Instead of ‘this is the plan to lose X kgs’ to ‘let’s design a lifestyle plan that incorporates aligned habits and behaviors that will serve you, your health, well-being and you’ll get results as a by-product”. And this ultimately improves any client’s quality of life, let alone clients losing weight. You’d be surprise, that actually becomes the easy part.

3. Learn about Nutrition if you really don’t understand it

So many people I speak to don’t understand the basics of nutrition. Simply because we don’t get taught this at school. And we’ve been conditioned by the commercialisation of products ‘diet’, ‘ fat-free’, ‘sugar-free’, ‘protein packed’, ‘healthy’ – labels to persuade you with buying decisions that you are ‘eating well’. Understanding how to read the nutrition label is something you won’t regret. You will eat all your life, so it makes sense if you really don’t understand nutrition, it’s time to invest some time to learn it. Saving you to succumb to commercialisation of ‘dieting foods’ that sometimes don’t crack up to be what they say they are. Fat-free doesn’t mean it’s sugar-free and vice versa. Labelled ‘protein-packed’ and you’re paying more for a small amount of protein feels illegal to me. What I often say to my clients who come onboard and don’t have a solid understanding of nutrition, is to be open to ‘being a beginner’ and embrace learning. Learning the foundations of nutrition will give you so much freedom, and empower you to make food choices without the guilt, anxiety and feel in control. Trust me when I say, it is a life skill. Doesn’t it make sense given it’s something we do (eat) 3-4 times to have a solid understanding of nutrition, not only for your general health and well-being? Then you can imagine how vital and extremely useful it is when it comes to making physical changes. You will be in control and feel empowered with making, preparing food choices and your buying decisions.

4. Lastly and most importantly, invest in your learning, this one is going to save you time and money!

How many times have you tried to ‘diet’ with no avail. Most likely more time spent thinking about, occupying mental space, and getting no to little results. If I could do the one thing that I didn’t do at the beginning of my journey is invest in myself. You can bet it’s something I very much do now for any area of life I desire to improve exponentially.

If you are trying to achieve fat loss, physique changes, create a healthy lifestyle then I suggest invest in yourself. You are your greatest return of investment. Imagine being guided by someone who has the knowledge and expertise and experience working with numerous clients helping them achieve what you desire to achieve faster than doing it alone?

Don’t get caught up in the ‘it’s cheaper I’ll do it on my own, I’ll figure it out’ – if it has taken you this long and you still don’t have a solid understanding of nutrition, or you are still jumping between one diet to another, or going all in or nothing and still find yourself with the same problem that needs solving, the thing that will save you time and money is hiring a Coach.

If you are interested to understand my methodology for designing a lifestyle that supports you, not only help you achieve fat loss results and keep it off but curate a health and fitness routine that supports you and your life, I invite you to reach out to me on Instagram or you’re more than welcome to joining my FREE Facebook community with plenty of resources available across training, nutrition and mindset.

Reach out to me here on Instagram at Mind You Performance Join my free Facebook Community at Mind You Performance FB.

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Shayla Lam, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Shay Lam, Health & Transformational Coach is the Co-founder of Mind You Performance (MYP). Since what she calls the ‘re-birth’ moment, a pivotal moment that became the catalyst for transforming her whole life through freeing her mind, and unshackling herself from mental constructs and old paradigms, she discovered the ultimate freedom and unlocking the potential of human performance across what is now MYP’s methodology of Brain, Body and Balance. She runs MYP with her partner devoting her life to harnessing the potential in others so that each individual truly believes they are possible and fully live their life in their best Brain, Body and Balance.