Why Hoarding is About Emotional Pain Not Possessions – Interview with Lushea Taylor
- Jun 1
- 7 min read
In this interview, Lushea Taylor, a person-centred counsellor and founder of Lushea Counselling Care Therapy, shares both her professional insight and lived experience of growing up in a hoarded home. She discusses the emotional realities behind hoarding behaviours, the impact of shame and isolation, and how compassion and understanding play a vital role in recovery. The interview also explores the effects of emotional overwhelm, the impact of COVID lockdowns, and how creating emotionally safe spaces can support healing and personal growth.
Lushea Taylor, Person Centred Counsellor
What first made you realise that hoarding behaviours are deeply connected to emotional pain rather than possessions alone?
It was actually through my personal experience growing up with my parental figure in a hoarded environment. Before my lack of understanding, I focused on the clutter, the lack of space, where can I sit today, etc. Living through it gave me emotional distress. When attempting various ways to rearrange a room or get outside help, the dots connected and I could see the hoarding behaviours were connected to somewhat feeling safe and protected, memories, comfort for that person, and emotional survival.
Growing up, when I reflect, the experience was overwhelming and isolating. When things were at rock bottom in my late twenties, I came to understand that my parental figure's difficulties were deeply rooted in various past pains, struggles, and traumas. As for the possessions, 60% of them had nothing linked to the past. My training in person centred counselling deepened this understanding further. It wasn’t laziness as I once thought in my early teens. It was deeper than that.
How has your own experience growing up in a cluttered home shaped the way you support clients today?
Growing up in a cluttered and hoarded home has deeply shaped the way I support clients today. It has given me a personal understanding of the emotional impact for the person who is the hoarder, but also for family relationships, well being, and daily life. I found it very hard to bring friends home. I think I had two experiences of this, masking stories to inform them beforehand or doing a quick declutter a few hours before they arrived, just feeling embarrassed, not knowing what anxiety was but having it.
Through the painful difficulty of that long chapter in my life, the experience has made me a more compassionate and non judgemental counsellor. I can understand how difficult it is for someone to feel safe enough to talk and ultimately get support for their pain. I work at the client’s pace. Before any room can be decluttered, it’s the declutter of the real issues and understanding the individual first. You have unresolved needs, grief, pain, loss, you name it, before you can think to get rid of or rearrange anything. It is a sensitive area whilst trying to encourage self awareness and support them in reaching their potential true self.
What emotional patterns do you see most often beneath chronic clutter and hoarding behaviours?
The common pattern is various painful life experiences. It could be a breakdown in some type of relationship or a longing to reconnect, for example, an aunt and nephew. It could be being clean from drugs for some time and having a disconnect with family. A few times I have had clients who have experienced trauma from living beside a bad neighbour. Unemployment and employment struggles are common. Divorce or relationship breakdown is also common.
All these are linked to a type of depression, loneliness, fear, and grief. Through these life challenges, possessions can become a handbag of emotional security, comfort, and a sense of safety. Shame and low self worth are strong emotions which appear in sessions. Difficulty making decisions and fear of how others view them add to hoarding behaviours. However, for me to witness and support the client when levels of emotion arise, it is just amazing to see those mini breakthroughs, to be honest.
Why do you think hoarding is still widely misunderstood in conversations around mental health?
Well, for one, it’s a physical thing, isn’t it? People only see the physical clutter. Stereotypes and judgements combined with culture, and every community has its own attitudes on the matter versus society as a whole.
The psychological difficulties are being talked about here and there, but there needs to be more awareness and education on the matter, along with more organisations and funding to support people. Compared to conditions such as anxiety or depression, hoarding is less openly discussed and is often reduced to a problem of organisation or cleanliness.
As a result, people going through this hardship are seen as "lazy", "not recognised", or "irresponsible", which overlooks the complexity of the root issues. The silence behind this matter does increase misunderstandings and loneliness.
What impact did the COVID lockdown period have on people already struggling with clutter and emotional overwhelm?
The psychological distress across the UK population, particularly among people with pre existing mental health conditions, was very high. The impact was huge. People, including myself, were going through long periods of confinement. Those affected, as well as those who were hoarders, were facing further mental health challenges too, making it emotionally harder to even consider organising their issues.
Anxiety and depression skyrocketed. This naturally increased the attachment to possessions, food, papers, living objects, and clothing. The pressure and uncertainty surrounding the pandemic often led to avoidance, emotional exhaustion, and difficulty making decisions about possessions or daily routines. It also made me see how closely emotional wellbeing and living environments were, and still are, connected.
What helps clients feel emotionally safe enough to begin opening up about shame and isolation?
From me as a person centred counsellor, emotional safety comes when the client can feel comfortable enough to let down their guard and feel heard and respected, with no judgement. To feel and be reminded that you are valued as an individual rather than defined by your possessions or state of living is a big deal.
Of course, consistency, patience, and active listening can help clients gradually feel more comfortable expressing emotions they may have hidden for a long time. However, allowing clients to have control is best for me because every session brings a surprise through vulnerability. Again, it’s something beautiful for me to see and support the transformation of.
Creating a calm, compassionate, and confidential environment can encourage openness over time. You can feel the release and weight off their shoulders when it slowly comes out. When clients feel emotionally safe, they are more able to explore painful experiences with me, challenge feelings of shame, and begin developing self acceptance within the therapeutic relationship.
What is one small but meaningful step someone can take when they feel emotionally trapped by their environment?
I always say let’s focus on one area, not the entire situation. I had a Welsh client who stated in his first session with me, "I never expected to cry like this, don’t know what’s going on here, I thought we were gonna talk about the clutter, the clutter, but here I am like this."
I smiled. Why? Because his idea and focus of what he thought the session would be about was the complete opposite, and he surprised himself with what he disclosed in the moment compared to what he had planned to talk about.
Clearing a small work surface desk or organising one drawer could be a main focus rather than looking at two bedrooms. The place a person sits and resides in, I tend to find, is the best place to start because it is a place of comfort and sanctuary where an individual can think, so to speak.
Small steps can create a sense of control and help reduce feelings of being overwhelmed. However, I always state it is important that the individual approaches themselves with compassion rather than criticism. It’s about meaningful progress, not "chop chop, let’s get this done today, now, or yesterday."
People forget that meaningful progress does not always begin with major changes. Often, emotional healing starts with one small decision that helps a person feel safer, calmer, and more able to cope within their environment.
How do you personally define the idea that "compassion meets recovery"?
Recovery is not only about changing behaviours or even recuperating quickly, but I tend to see it as recognising emotional pain and unmet needs underneath the entire struggle within struggles. Compassion is a key feature and the foundation that allows the process to have a positive result.
Meeting the person with empathy, patience, and unconditional positive regard is a central tool in person centred counselling. It’s also linked to understanding and allowing the person to rediscover themselves and their self worth whilst moving at their pace.
When individuals are met with kindness and no judgement, they feel more willing to open up. Small steps that are achieved are not simply dismissed but celebrated and recognised. I believe healing becomes more possible when people feel emotionally supported rather than pressured.
Compassion does not remove difficulties, but it can give individuals the emotional safety and confidence needed to begin recovery and personal growth. No matter what you go through, whether you are a professional, famous, or just a member of society, compassion is always needed.
What would you most like people to understand about those living with hoarding behaviours?
From both my lived experience and my work as a person centred counsellor, I understand how much shame and isolation people can carry while struggling with hoarding behaviours. Judgement and criticism often make people withdraw further rather than seek support. What many individuals need most is compassion, patience, and understanding rather than pressure or blame.
I would also like people to understand that recovery is not simply about clearing a space. Emotional healing must happen alongside practical change, and this takes time, trust, and emotional safety. Every person’s journey is different.
At Lushea Counselling Care Therapy, my approach is centred around empathy, acceptance, and supporting individuals at their own pace without judgement.
"Empowering you, one step at a time"
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