When Connection Becomes Clarity and The Emotional Mirrors in Our Lives
- Brainz Magazine
- 20 hours ago
- 4 min read
Dr. Leslie Davis is a survivor of toxic relationships and a healing agent of broken hearts. As a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and Relationship Expert near St. Louis, MO, Dr. D is on a mission to empower others to improve their relationships.
For high-achieving women, identity often begins with what we do. But who are we when we’re not performing?
If you had never encountered another person, how would you know who you are?
It’s a question most high-achieving women don’t have the time or emotional space to sit with. We’re often too busy being everything to everyone and sometimes feeling like nothing to ourselves. We excel at work. We make time to show up in relationships. Regardless of how we feel, we hold emotional space for our families. We check the boxes and surpass our goals. Beneath all the doing, there is a woman who simply wants to be seen and understood. She secretly seeks validation and belonging in her reflection.
That’s the power of connection. That’s the power of the mirror.
Who’s in your mirror?
I want to invite you to pause and look at the people in your circle. Who helps you see who you truly are at the core? Who reflects your strength, your softness, and your blind spots?
I am a therapist, a women’s jiu jitsu coach, a mother, daughter, sister, and a friend. Each of those roles allows me to show up differently, and each one offers a reflection of parts of myself. Sometimes I see myself clearly. Sometimes I see parts of myself I’d rather avoid or hide from the world. But always, I’m provided the opportunity to know myself a little deeper through the eyes of those ones who are close to my heart.
In therapy sessions, I often tell my clients: “I’m here to be your mirror, to simply reflect back what you need to see in yourself so you can make different choices.” The reflection in sessions is powerful. It gives permission. It awakens truth. It shows them the parts of self behind the roles they play.
This same mirror exists in our everyday relationships. Whether it’s a colleague who admires your intellect, a partner who encourages you to slow down and enjoy the moment, or even a competitor who stirs up insecurity, each person holds a mirror. The reflections aren’t always easy to face. Sometimes they reveal your strength, and other times they reveal your scars and unhealed wounds.
Look into my mirror
Years ago, I was in relentless “go mode” as a single mom and a young woman striving to make this world a better place, a state many high-achieving women know all too well. I was helping everyone, giving away parts of my heart that I couldn’t ever get back. I barely paused to breathe, let alone reflect. People would say, “You’re so driven,” or “You make it look easy.” At first, I brushed it off. It didn’t match the way I felt inside, exhausted, broken, yet hopeful.
Eventually, I started to sit with those words. It took some time to allow myself to consider that maybe they were seeing something I refused to allow myself to recognize.
Their words became a mirror that helped me reclaim parts of myself I had minimized or ignored.
Is your mirror broken?
Just as individuals reflect the sacred parts of our hearts, there are also people who reflect our darkness. You know, the ones who trigger and challenge us in ways that become uncomfortable and gritty. These are the ones who amplify toxic patterns we’d rather not admit to. But even these mirrors are valuable. They show us where we still hurt. Where we tend to armor up and protect ourselves with rigid boundaries, these are the ones who remind us where we’ve internalized the idea that we must always be in control.
Take a closer look
If you’re ready to look at yourself in the mirror, here’s the emotional truth: You don’t have to carry the weight of your identity alone.
You don’t have to figure it all out in isolation.
The relationships you choose, especially as a high-achieving woman, are not distractions from your success, although sometimes it can feel that way. Relationships you choose to engage in are invitations into emotional connections and reflections of the deepest parts of yourself.
Here are three journal prompts to consider
Who reflects your light, even when you’ve dimmed it to survive?
Who helps you hold space for your complex nature, your ambition, your tenderness, your exhaustion?
Who ignites parts of you that you need to meet with more honesty?
Emotional mirrors don’t just shape how others see you; they shape how you see yourself. To the high-achieving woman reading this today, be encouraged. You’re not just what you achieve. You are also who you connect with. Allow the connections to bring your truest self into focus. If you are struggling to see yourself in a positive light, let’s connect.
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Dr. Leslie Davis, Clinical Counselor and Relationship Expert
Dr. Leslie Davis is a survivor of toxic relationships turned healer of broken hearts. As a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and award winning Relationship Therapist, Dr. D is dedicated to guiding women around the world—especially single moms—toward healthier, more fulfilling connections.
On her YouTube channel, The Real Dr. Leslie, she offers heartfelt insights, real talk, and practical tools for healing, growth, and transformation. Whether you're navigating heartbreak or learning to love yourself again, Dr. D creates a space where you're seen, supported, and inspired.
When she’s not helping clients or creating content, you’ll likely find her at a local coffee shop or empowering women through jiu jitsu where she practices the gentle art with fierce dedication.
