The Year We Step Into Our Whole Self
- Brainz Magazine
- 6 days ago
- 6 min read
Anne-Catherine Bédard is a PhD chemist, abstract artist, and the founder of Labcoat and Leggings. Author of numerous scientific papers and an empowering coloring book series, she bridges science and creativity to inspire confidence, authenticity, and self-expression.
Many professionals move through their careers carrying a subtle but persistent tension. Not burnout exactly, but a continuous effort to manage perception, regulate expression, and remain within acceptable bounds. It shows up as muted communication, delayed decisions, chronic overperformance, or the feeling of being perpetually edited.
This pattern has a name, self concealment.
Self concealment is not a lack of confidence or capability. It is a learned survival response. The brain prioritizes belonging because, historically, belonging meant safety. When visibility feels risky, the nervous system adapts by reducing it. Over time, this adaptation becomes automatic. Language softens. Complexity is hidden. Competence is performed while authenticity is constrained.
The cost is cumulative. Self concealment quietly erodes clarity, creativity, and leadership effectiveness. It increases internal friction and decision fatigue while reducing long term resilience.
Here, we explore what it looks like to step out of self concealment gradually, month by month. Each installment examines a specific phase of awareness, regulation, and identity integration, grounded in applied neuroscience and lived experience. This is not a prescriptive framework. It is an observational one. The goal is not optimization, but alignment, reducing internal compression so leadership requires less effort and less self editing.
What follows is a year long exploration of what that process actually looks like in lived experience.
January – Awareness
The year begins with recognition. Self concealment rarely announces itself. It emerges in small, repeatable moments, softened language in meetings, delayed responses, internal editing before speaking. January is about noticing these patterns without attempting to change them. At this stage, visibility is observational. Nothing shifts yet, but nothing remains unconscious.
February – Permission
Permission appears before behavior changes. It looks like noticing you have an opinion and allowing it to exist internally without rehearsing how it will be received. It is the moment you stop preemptively editing your thoughts in your own mind. Externally, the shift may be subtle, letting a preference stand without justification, declining a meeting without a detailed explanation, allowing silence after you speak instead of rushing to soften your point. No one else may comment on this change yet, but internally, something has shifted. Fewer negotiations are required, and decision making begins to feel lighter.
March – Expression
Expression is where internal permission begins to translate into visible behavior. It looks like saying what you think closer to the moment you think it, rather than revisiting it later. Offering an opinion without waiting for complete certainty. Sharing a draft earlier than feels comfortable instead of refining it endlessly in private. Externally, the changes are small but noticeable, fewer qualifiers, clearer statements, less post conversation replay. Expression at this stage is not about being bold or disruptive. It is about reducing the delay between internal clarity and external communication.
April – Identity
As expression increases, identity often lags behind. April focuses on recognizing when internal narratives no longer match lived behavior. This phase frequently brings both clarity and disorientation. It looks like realizing the role or label you have been operating under no longer fits as cleanly as it once did. You may notice discomfort when introducing yourself, hesitation when describing your work, or a sense that your current responsibilities no longer capture your contribution. Nothing needs to be resolved yet. April is about allowing identity to feel unfinished while it catches up to who you are becoming.
May – Belonging
Belonging becomes visible through contrast. In May, you begin to notice which rooms require you to shrink and which allow you to expand. Certain conversations leave you unusually tired, while others feel stabilizing even when they are challenging. You may find yourself choosing proximity based on alignment rather than history, or tolerating the discomfort of disappointing someone in order to remain internally steady. Belonging at this stage is not about withdrawal. It is about recognizing where authenticity is supported and where it carries a cost. Choosing alignment over familiarity often introduces discomfort before relief.
June – Body
Self concealment often disconnects us from bodily awareness. June restores attention to sensation as a regulatory resource. By now, self concealment reveals itself less through thoughts and more through physical cues. It looks like noticing tension in your jaw before speaking, shallow breathing as a decision approaches, or fatigue that follows certain interactions rather than workloads. You begin to treat physical cues as information instead of obstacles. Pausing before responding becomes less about politeness and more about regulation. The body becomes a signal system that supports clearer choices and more sustainable visibility.
July – Joy
Joy is frequently minimized in professional contexts to maintain control or credibility. July reframes joy as a stabilizing, regulatory state rather than an indulgence. When joy is permitted, nervous system flexibility increases. Decision making improves. Creativity rebounds. Joy enters not as celebration, but as stabilization. It looks like allowing satisfaction without immediately minimizing it, enjoying restorative moments without turning them into rewards for productivity, and letting positive outcomes land instead of rushing ahead. Joy here signals that the system has enough capacity to expand without vigilance.
August – Courage
As visibility becomes consistent, risk becomes clearer. August addresses courage in its practical form, reputational exposure, leadership accountability, and decision ownership. Courage shows up when outcomes matter and approval is uncertain. It looks like taking ownership of a decision that may be questioned, naming a direction before consensus fully forms, or allowing your name to be associated with an outcome rather than remaining safely in the background. The nervous system is activated, but no longer overridden. Courage here is not urgency or force. It is the capacity to stay regulated while acting in alignment, even when reputational risk is present.
September – Boundaries
Boundaries reduce the need for self concealment by clarifying expectations. By September, many realize that self concealment was often doing the work that boundaries never did. Boundaries begin to look less like protection and more like clarity. Responding rather than reacting. Saying no without over explaining. Allowing others to manage their own disappointment. As expectations become clearer, fewer situations require self editing, creating space for expression without constant vigilance.
October – Integration
By October, effort gives way to alignment. Internal negotiation decreases. Decisions arrive faster. Follow through requires less energy. It looks like words, values, and actions lining up without constant adjustment. Complexity still exists, but it no longer fragments you internally. What once required conscious correction now happens automatically, because the system has stabilized around who you are.
November – Reflection
Reflection consolidates change before familiar holiday dynamics return. Progress is recognized not through achievement, but through reduced friction. November looks less like an assessment and more like recognition. Stressors that once drained you now feel neutral. Situations that required careful self monitoring no longer do. What stands out is not what you achieved, but what no longer costs you energy.
December – Consolidation
The year closes with coherence rather than performance. Public and private selves align more consistently. December looks like stability rather than celebration. Fewer moments of self editing. Less internal commentary about how you are being perceived. You respond more than react. You speak without rehearsing. You rest without explaining. Consolidation is not arrival. It is the recognition that moving through the world now requires less effort because less of you is being held back.
Putting the framework in action this year
Exiting self concealment is not a single decision. It is a process of repeated, regulated visibility supported by awareness, nervous system alignment, and reflection over time.
Beginning in January, I will be publishing a monthly newsletter and hosting a corresponding community discussion aligned with each theme in this series. Each month expands on the topic with applied neuroscience, lived examples, and space for shared reflection. This work is designed to be gradual, practical, and sustainable.
To continue this work throughout the year, join the monthly newsletter and community discussion here.
Read more from Anne-Catherine Bédard
Anne-Catherine Bédard, Research Scientist at Dow & Founder of Labcoat & Leggings
Anne-Catherine Bédard is a PhD chemist, artist, and founder of Labcoat and Leggings, where science meets creativity. Trained to explore molecules, she now uses color to explore emotion, transforming her journey of healing into a mission to help others embrace authenticity and self-expression. Her work celebrates the beauty of being bold, kind, and unapologetically whole. Each piece she creates invites viewers to feel empowered, confident, and free to shine in their own light.
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