The Power of Perspective – How Being Seen by Others Can Anchor Us Through Our Hardest Seasons
Dr. Ariel McGrew is a distinguished business psychologist, licensed professional counselor, and founder of Tactful Disruption®. She leverages her extensive experience in psychological operations and her academic expertise to enhance organizational culture and leadership.
Long before I learned about trauma-informed practice, developmental repair, or how the brain handles emotions, I understood something much messier: what happens when ambition mixes with panic.
At 22, I had a degree in Speech Communication, a string of brand ambassador jobs that paid in free merchandise and good energy, and the pressure of student loans hanging over me. And yes, I was getting paid. I just didn’t understand the challenges of 1099 taxes, quarterly payments, or how the IRS always seems to show up when you’re least ready.
To make matters even more ironic, I was also:
an introvert
afraid of heights
generally allergic to being told what to do
and the closest understanding I had of military service came from binge-watching The Unit.
So naturally, I joined the Army Reserves. Not for patriotism. Not for structure. Not for a long-term career. No. I joined because I wanted a maroon beret.
Someone told me, “You have to be pretty smart and willing to jump out of airplanes. And if you want to be PSYOP, you’ll have to keep up with the standard.”
And to know me is to know: If you tell me something that requires intelligence and audacity, I’m already signing the paperwork, even if it contradicts every personality trait I possess (I’m a nice mix of shadow and light ego traits).
So, I did it. I became airborne.
This stands out because I’m an introvert who likes quiet spaces, someone who gets dizzy on step stools, and a person who never liked being told “because I said so.” Still, there I was, jumping out of an aircraft because, at 22, I thought a beret might fix everything.
I didn’t realize that this choice (driven by ambition, panic, and wanting to look good in a beret) would one day lead to $192.20 receipts for copies and express mail for 11 years of email/medical documentation I’d later send to the VA.
Ironically, I never broke a bone jumping out of airplanes. Not once. And then, in one 19-minute, 2-mile run in August 2022, I nearly broke my entire left leg off my body.
But the other injuries, the hamstring tendon tears, psoas strains, and piriformis sprains, came from the daily grind, the training, and the drive to prove I could do hard things long before I understood what resilience would really cost me.
Back then, it was exhilarating to discover that I could push my body, my mind, and my limits. Now, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do on purpose is something entirely different.
Healing beyond my own perspective.
When perspective becomes a lifeline
When I applied for my VA disability benefits, I expected bureaucracy. I expected paperwork. I expected to revisit pain I had neatly filed away under “things I survived.”
What I didn’t expect was how deeply I needed someone else’s perspective to anchor me.
I asked for letters of support, which was unusual for me (I’ve an uncanny knack for self-reliance), and one letter changed everything. It didn’t just list my injuries. It described me, my resilience, my discipline, my emotional strength, and my humanity.
It reflected a version of myself I couldn’t see clearly because I was too busy surviving the process.
And that’s when I realized: Healing is never truly solitary, even when it feels like it.
Why perspective matters when you think you’re healing alone
Many people think healing is something you do on your own, private, personal, and self-contained. But research shows the opposite: social support is one of the strongest factors in psychological recovery, even if it’s just from one person.
A 2022 scoping review found that social support plays a “substantial role in attaining and maintaining good mental health, in the prevention of and recovery from mental health problems”.[1] Emotional support, being seen, validated, and understood, is especially powerful.
Another study in Frontiers in Psychology found that social support lowers perceived stress, which then boosts positive feelings and reduces anxiety and depression.[2] In other words, support doesn’t just feel good, it changes how the nervous system handles stress.
A 2025 meta-analysis in Psychological Bulletin found that perceived social support is closely linked to better mental health (r = .35) and improved functioning (r = .37). This means that being seen, even by just one person, can change the course of your healing.[3]
These findings echo what I experienced firsthand, "When someone reflects your strength to you, it becomes easier to believe in your own capacity to keep going."
The paradox of “healing alone”
There’s a painful paradox many of us face: We believe we’re healing alone because people didn’t show up, or because we didn’t ask.
But healing is relational. Even when the relationship is small. Even when the support comes in the form of a letter written on a Tuesday afternoon by someone who saw you more clearly than you saw yourself.
Support doesn’t always look like a crowd. Sometimes it looks like one person telling the truth about who you are.
Perspective as a healing mechanism
Perspective is not passive. It is an active psychological process that reshapes:
how we interpret our experiences
how we evaluate our resilience
how we understand our suffering
how we locate ourselves in our own story
When someone offers a compassionate, accurate perspective on your journey, it can:
reduce shame
increase self-efficacy
strengthen emotional regulation
restore coherence
anchor identity during destabilizing transitions
This isn’t just poetic; it’s backed by evidence. Social support helps people reappraise stressors, making them feel more manageable.[2] It also contributes to human thriving rather than just survival.[3]
Perspective is a psychological intervention.
Closing reflection
I joined the Army Reserves for a maroon beret. I stayed because I discovered I could do hard things on purpose. I healed because someone else reminded me who I was when I couldn’t see it myself.
Sometimes, the most powerful thing someone can give you is their perspective. Not advice. Not solutions. Not platitudes. Just the truth of what they see in you when you can’t see it yourself.
Healing is not a solo sport. It is a communal act, even when the community is small.
And sometimes, one letter or one witness becomes the anchor that keeps you from drifting away from your own strength.
Read more from Dr. Ariel McGrew
Dr. Ariel McGrew, Business Psychologist, Chief Creative Officer
Dr. Ariel McGrew is a highly regarded business psychologist and founder of Tactful Disruption®. With over 15 years of experience in U.S. Army Psychological Operations, she has honed her expertise in leadership and organizational dynamics. Dr. McGrew holds a PhD in Business Psychology, is a licensed professional counselor, and has been featured in Forbes Coaches Council. Her work focuses on enhancing mental health and professional development within organizations.
References:
[1] Bjørlykhaug, K. I., Karlsson, B., Hesook, S. K., & Kleppe, L. C. (2022). Social support and recovery from mental health problems: A scoping review. Nordic Social Work Research, 12(5), 666–697.
[2] Acoba, E. F. (2024). Social support and mental health: The mediating role of perceived stress. Frontiers in Psychology, 15, Article 1330720.
[3] Yeo, G. H., Lansford, J. E., & Rudolph, K. D. (2025). How does perceived social support relate to human thriving? A systematic review with meta-analyses. Psychological Bulletin. Advance online publication.
