The Normal Habits That Nearly Killed Me and Why so Many People Are Living Them
- Brainz Magazine
- Dec 25, 2025
- 4 min read
John Bygraves is a Master Energy Healer, Holistic Mentor, and Public Speaker. He guides people worldwide to dissolve trauma, recalibrate their nervous systems, and reclaim their power at the deepest soul level.
Chronic stress, emotional suppression, and survival mode living are often normalised, until the body collapses. In this reflective essay, John Bygraves explores how everyday habits quietly undermine health, why breakdown is often the body’s last act of intelligence, and what happens when we finally learn to listen.
When I was told I had Stage 4 cancer, it wasn’t just about my body. It was about the way I’d been living. Nothing about my life looked dangerous on the surface. I wasn’t reckless or careless. I was doing what most people do, working hard, staying busy, pushing through. That’s what made it so confronting. The habits that nearly killed me weren’t dramatic, they were normal. And that’s the real danger.
The illusion of “fine”
For years, I told myself I was fine. I functioned, I performed, I showed up. From the outside, my life looked disciplined, driven, successful. But inside my body, something very different was happening.
I had learned how to override signals instead of listening to them, how to suppress discomfort instead of responding to it, and how to treat exhaustion as weakness and stress as motivation. I didn’t fall apart overnight. I slowly disconnected, one “small” habit at a time.
1. Swallowing my emotions
I grew up believing that strength meant staying composed. So, I buried things, grief, anger, betrayal, shame, and told myself I’d deal with it later.
But emotions don’t disappear when you ignore them. Research has shown that unprocessed emotional stress can remain stored in the body, influencing physiology long after the original experience has passed. What I didn’t feel consciously, my body carried for me. And one day, it couldn’t carry it anymore.
2. Living in constant stress
I wore busyness like a badge of honour. Always on, always available, always pushing. I thought that was resilience. In reality, my nervous system had been locked in survival mode for years.
Stress wasn’t an occasional spike, it was my baseline. As Harvard Health explains, chronic stress can keep the nervous system activated and interfere with the body’s ability to rest, repair, and regulate properly. When the nervous system doesn’t feel safe, it prioritises survival over healing, not because the body is weak, but because it’s trying to keep you alive. Eventually, something had to give.
3. Staying in toxic environments
There were jobs, relationships, and spaces that drained me, and I knew it. But I stayed. I told myself leaving would be selfish, that loyalty mattered more than wellbeing, and that discomfort was something to endure, not respond to.
What I didn’t realise then is that staying somewhere your body doesn’t feel safe is a form of self-betrayal. Modern trauma and nervous system research shows that prolonged exposure to unsafe or overwhelming environments keeps the body stuck in survival mode. The body keeps track of that too.
4. Chasing performance over presence
On paper, I looked healthy. I trained hard, worked relentlessly, and kept moving. Gym, work, hustle, party, repeat. But presence was missing. I used discipline as a distraction, a way to avoid stillness, emotion, and the quiet signals my body was sending. I confused output with health and control with strength. My body wasn’t asking me to stop living, it was asking me to listen. I didn’t.
5. Believing I was invincible
I thought breakdowns happened to other people. So when warning signs appeared, skin issues, fatigue, low energy, I minimised them. I told myself I’d rest later, that I was just tired, that it wasn’t a big deal. By the time I listened, my body was no longer whispering. There was a tumour in my neck.
The danger of what we call “normal”
None of these habits felt dangerous in the moment. They were encouraged, rewarded, normalised. That’s the problem. We live in a culture that teaches people to override their bodies and then act surprised when the body eventually forces a stop. But the body isn’t punishing us. It’s protecting us, the only way it knows how.
Breakdown as intelligence
Cancer didn’t arrive out of nowhere. It arrived at the end of a long conversation I hadn’t been listening to. That reframe changed everything for me. My body wasn’t broken. It was exhausted from carrying what I refused to feel, release, and resolve. Healing didn’t begin when I tried harder. It began when I slowed down enough to hear what my system had been asking for all along. Safety. Rest. Truth. Presence.
Why I created Sit Feel Heal rEVOLution
That’s why I created Sit Feel Heal rEVOLution, a space designed to help people slow down, regulate their nervous systems, and reconnect with their bodies again. Not as self-care or optimisation, but as survival. It’s one hour each week to stop running, one hour to clear what you’ve been carrying, and one hour to give your nervous system proof that it’s safe to let go. Because when the body finally feels safe, it doesn’t need to scream.
If you’re ready to explore this in real time, join us at Sit Feel Heal rEVOLution, a free weekly healing circle where we practice acceptance, release, and nervous system repair together. You don’t have to carry this alone.
A quieter truth
If you’re living with anxiety, fatigue, or a sense of constant pressure, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means your body has been working overtime to protect you. And it may be asking, gently or urgently, for a different pace. Nothing about you is broken. But “normal” might not be sustainable anymore. And listening now is far kinder than being forced to later.
John Bygraves, Master Energy Healer & Holistic Mentor
John Bygraves is a Master Energy Healer, Holistic Mentor, and Public Speaker. After defying a Stage 4 cancer diagnosis and rewriting his own destiny, John created a multidimensional healing system that works across body, mind, and soul. He is also the creator of the Sit Feel Heal rEVOLution, a global, free healing movement restoring safety, balance, and truth to thousands each week. Known for his raw, soul-led voice, John dismantles outdated paradigms of healing and reminds people that nothing outside of them can heal them. He is currently writing his debut memoir, bringing his lived story and healing philosophy to a wider audience.
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