Is Anxiety Holding You Back?
- Brainz Magazine
- 3 days ago
- 6 min read
Dr. Deborah Brown is a psychotherapist and behavioral health entrepreneur. She developed Brownstone Mental Health Services and can be heard on the My Session with Dr. Deborah Brown podcast.
Anxiety is defined as persistent worry and fear, a state that, when prolonged, becomes problematic. Most experience anxiety in the form of fleeting nervousness, but persistent anxiety can transform into perpetual discontent, impacting daily life and holding people back from new experiences and opportunities. Normal anxiety typically manifests as a moment of escalated worry or fear that passes, our nervousness spikes, then we return to our healthy baseline functioning. For example, being nervous before public speaking is typical, the feeling peaks, then subsides once the situation is over. This temporary feeling is a reminder to pay attention to significant moments and should dissipate naturally. For many, however, anxiety does not return to baseline but remains elevated, often leading to stress and pervasive fear.
Pervasive fear
Constant fear is unhealthy and draining. Using the metaphor of a rabbit, humans often find themselves acting like prey, hypervigilant, jumpy, and fearful, like a rabbit who always must be alert for nearby predators. When we are anxious, sometimes we strive through our thought processes to avoid threats, real, imagined, or exaggerated. Most of us may encounter threats that are very real or based in reality, but it is the level of how they affect us that becomes problematic. For example, we can be nervous about taking a test and experience anxiety for weeks ahead of time. This extended anxiety is not helpful in reaching the goal of passing the test and can lead to procrastination, perhaps even resulting in such fear that we do not study at all. Worry is often thinking that, by thinking, we are somehow preparing ourselves for something bad or frightening. What happens with chronic anxiety is that we worry more than necessary, and may even sabotage ourselves or inflate our concerns. This persistent state is not a desirable way to live, as it affects our daily functioning, impacts and changes our nervous system, is generally quite uncomfortable, and can be debilitating.
How did we get here?
Several factors can spike anxiety. Environmental stressors are the most common, and everyone faces them to varying degrees. Trauma, especially unresolved, increases vulnerability to chronic anxiety and emotional dysregulation. Dysfunctional relationships and unmet needs can also contribute to excessive and regular overthinking. Other contributing factors include gender dysphoria, untreated ADHD, recovery from illness, hormonal changes, and even medication side effects. Many pitfalls can elevate or sustain anxiety throughout the course of normal life. Some are able to redirect and not hold the anxiety, while others get stuck in anxious thinking processes. We all have worries and triggers, but it is in the management of these day-to-day events and the resulting emotional dysregulation that we see problems arise.
Some are lucky to have relatively low-stress lives, and those folks experience only the rises and decreases of typical anxiety. In my experience as a therapist, these are not the norm. We face inherent challenges in our lifestyles and economic conditions, political environments, and with the rise of technology, increasing unhealthy habits, and dependencies. Our self-esteem issues continue to rise, as do the rates of anxiety. Younger children and older adults are seeing higher rates of anxiety. We normalize hustle culture and idealize wealthy lifestyles and unreal beauty standards. We simply cannot keep up with all the “shoulds” related to what we should do, have, and be. It is no small wonder that more of us are feeling anxious at higher levels than ever before.
Anxiety’s impact
Anxiety unchecked can grow into negative patterns of thinking, which can rapidly duplicate, become obsessive, and make us feel as if we are drowning in our thoughts. These thoughts can even develop into pervasive fears and negative beliefs. Our thoughts drive our actions, our perspective, and our performance. It is very important to feel as if we are in control of our thinking, and anxiety can make us feel out of control.
Anxiety affects relationships, health, performance at work and in social situations, sleep, and overall well-being. At some point, when anxiety becomes too much, it can develop into a full-fledged mental health disorder and require treatment. Poor mental health can even reduce life expectancy and significantly diminish our quality of life. Unaddressed anxiety can lead to lost opportunities and create limits to the extent of our well-being. Untreated anxiety can manifest as agoraphobia, social anxiety, separation anxiety, hypervigilance, obsessive and compulsive behaviors, and even eating disorders. Hypervigilance is common among those who have experienced trauma, which is described as excessive alertness and over-examination of daily life.
How do I know if my anxiety is too high?
There are certain indicators that our anxiety is more than a healthy and appropriate flow of thoughts and feelings. There are indicators that patterns have formed from anxious thinking, including intrusive thoughts, rumination, and catastrophizing. Everyone experiences intrusive thoughts—brief, strange ideas that rarely translate to action but cause distress. When such thoughts become frequent and persistent, they are symptomatic of chronic anxiety. Rumination is the repetitive thinking of a problem or event, often progressing into racing thoughts that disrupt sleep and peace of mind. Individuals may obsess over past conversations or actions, seeking answers that often lie beyond reach. Catastrophizing involves exaggerating problems into disasters. Failing a quiz, for example, may seem like the end of the world, but anxiety amplifies the threat far beyond its true consequences. Evaluating the real impact of worst-case scenarios can help put anxiety in perspective. Perspective, however, can feel far out of reach when our anxiety has persisted for too long.
Why fix it?
Unresolved anxiety leads to missed life experiences, lost opportunities, and regrets. For example, fear of flying in an airplane can prevent travel dreams from becoming reality. Overcoming these barriers later in life is possible, but years may be lost to hesitation and fear. Understanding the appropriate level of fear for any stressor can be hard to assess accurately, but for the anxious mind, it is especially hard to determine.
A trip to the grocery store can feel like going to war. A first date can feel like a minefield. The truth is, these are normal experiences that should feel relatively routine and maybe even interesting or exciting. They only feel hard because our anxious patterns of thinking turn these into battlefields where really bad things can happen. If we fear going on a first date, we miss the excitement of meeting someone new. If we fear the discomfort of completing the grocery store outing, we miss the sensory experience of the outdoors, the fruits and vegetables, and the satisfaction of taking care of our own needs.
Anxiety can go from butterflies in the stomach to locking ourselves down to prevent feeling something that we fear. Fearing our own emotions is the result of anxiety that is out of control. Embarrassment, shame, frustration, and rejection are some of the most feared emotions, and few of us get through life without experiencing them at some point. Anxiety tells us that if we prepare by overthinking and worrying, we can somehow avoid feeling these emotions. Instead, we must convince ourselves that we will, at some point, feel these emotions, but that we will survive it, it will be temporary, and that we will be okay.
Taking the next step
If any part of this discussion resonates, consider whether it’s time to act. Everyone deserves a happy, fulfilling life. Although anxiety is one of the most painful mental health issues to experience, it can be healed, and you can experience real, life-improving change. Start by talking about what you fear. Getting out of your head and into a conversation with someone you trust can really help gain perspective, sorting out what is anxious thinking and what is true. Talking to a therapist can help you understand how these patterns developed and why you hold on to them when they do not benefit you. Everyone deserves a peaceful life, filled with experiences and connections. Letting go of your anxious mind’s grip on you is a great start to leading the life you want and deserve.
For a deeper exploration of anxiety, refer to the podcast episode “My Session with Dr. Deborah Brown | Episode 5: Understanding Anxiety,” which offers additional perspectives and insights.
Read more from Deborah Brown
Deborah Brown, Psychotherapist and Behavioral Health Entrepreneur
Dr. Deborah Brown is a psychotherapist and behavioral health entrepreneur. She is a thought leader in the field of mental health, working to fight mental health stigma and increase public awareness about mental health-related issues. Dr. Brown developed Brownstone Mental Health Services, a large group practice that is revolutionizing the way that mental health therapy is provided. She can be heard on the My Session with Dr. Deborah Brown podcast.
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