How To Help Teenagers Heal Through Songwriting, Even If They Hate Talking About Their Feelings
- Brainz Magazine
- Aug 5
- 6 min read
Emma G is an award-winning singer/songwriter, 2x TEDx speaker, and empowerment coach specializing in trauma-aware voicework, mental health advocacy, and music-led healing. She is the author of "Mental Health Sounds Like This" and founder of Emma G Music LLC.
Teenagers are full of thoughts, emotions, and big questions, yet most of them don’t know how to express what they’re going through. Traditional talk therapy can feel intimidating or boring, and let’s be honest: how many teens want to sit down and talk about their feelings with a stranger? Especially in 2025: an era of TikTok, distractions, and information overload.
But give them a beat, a notebook, and a chance to turn that chaos into a chorus? That’s when the magic happens.
As a trauma-informed vocal- and songwriting-coach, singer-songwriter, and youth empowerment expert, I’ve spent over two decades helping teens [and adults feeding their inner-teen] move from "I don’t know how to talk about it" to "I just wrote a song that says everything I couldn’t."
So today, I want to show you how songwriting can help teens (and adults!) move from emotional shutdown to self-awareness and break down seven practical ways to get started, even if they’ve never written a song before.
1. Start with what hurts or what heals
Instead of asking, "How do you feel?" (cue eye roll), try this: "What’s been stuck in your head lately?" or "If your thoughts had a soundtrack, what would it sound like?" Even better: asking a simple “What’s up?” and giving them space to answer [even if the silence becomes really uncomfortable] can be incredibly powerful. These questions bypass defensiveness and open a door to what’s really going on. It’s imperative that we don’t rush to fill up the space or try to speak on their behalf, give them time to access their thoughts, feelings, and words independently.
How to dig deeper: Once your teenager has started opening up about their thoughts, struggles, and feelings, ask them to write one line about a moment in the past that felt similar, good or bad. Then ask, "If you were sitting across the table from the person you were back then: what would you say to yourself?" That simple question can open the floodgates for a new song.
2. Let them write as someone else at first
Sometimes it’s easier and safer for teens to open up when they’re not writing directly about themselves. I call this the alter-ego method. Instead of sharing their own perspective, invite them to explore the situation through another lens: maybe it’s the villain, the bystander, or even the version of themselves they wish they could be. This approach creates emotional distance while still building emotional awareness.
How to dig deeper: Try prompting them with, “If you were someone else in this situation, what advice would you give? What do you think that person might be feeling or experiencing?” This not only fuels their creativity, it also builds empathy, and often leads them back to their own truth without forcing it.
3. Turn the feeling into a person
A common phrase I hear, especially from teens, is: “I don’t know how to explain how I’m feeling.” That’s where personification becomes a powerful tool. By imagining an emotion as if it were a person, we make it easier to understand and express.
Feeling anxious? Picture your anxiety as a character sitting across from you. What do they look like? How do they act? Most importantly, what would you say to them? Grieving? Try writing a letter to your grief. Give it a name. Speak directly to it. This shift helps externalize and process big emotions that might otherwise feel overwhelming or intangible.
How to dig deeper: Start with a sentence like: “If [emotion] were a person, they would” Use metaphors or imagery (e.g., “My anxiety is like a shadow that never stops pacing”). Invite teens to write lyrics or dialogue directly to that emotion or from it.
4. Use repetition to reclaim power
One of my favorite concepts is this: the most powerful weapon we have is the six inches between our ears, our brain. And the brain loves rhythm and repetition. That’s why we learn the alphabet through song and remember jingles years after we’ve heard them. Repetition doesn’t just reinforce memory, it reinforces meaning.
So when it comes to pep talks, internal dialogue, or songwriting, we have to be intentional about the messages we repeat. Are we replaying self-doubt on loop, or are we choosing to amplify resilience? Think of anthemic lines like “I’m still standing” or “You don’t own me,” short, powerful phrases that turn pain into power. These kinds of lines make for strong choruses and unforgettable hooks because they speak directly to the subconscious.
How-to: Once your theme is clear, collaborate with your teen to create a simple, empowering phrase that captures the core message. Repeat it as a chorus or hook. Then ask: “What would make this line even stronger?” This encourages creative expansion while reinforcing a new, positive inner narrative.
5. Embrace imperfection and play
Whenever I start with a new client, I make it clear from day one: there’s no such thing as a mistake here. Not in my studio. Not in songwriting. Every stumble is a stepping stone. Just like life, songwriting is messy, unpredictable, and that’s the magic. Teens don’t need to write a Grammy-winning song. They just need to give themselves permission to be real. Sometimes that means the “wrong” word shows up, or the note cracks, and that’s okay. It’s all part of the jazz. Remind them that in songwriting, there are no wrong answers. It’s not about perfection, it’s about expression.
How-to: Invite them to write “bad” lines on purpose. Loosen the pressure. Play with words, sounds, even nonsense. Curiosity often cracks the door that perfectionism slammed shut.
6. Combine breathwork with singing
Singing isn’t just emotional, it’s physiological. When teens vocalize (through humming, whispering, or belting their lyrics), they engage their nervous system in a powerful way. That’s because different styles of breathing have different effects on the body. For example, shallow chest breathing, which is common in both stressed teens and adults, can increase anxiety and tension. But when we activate deep, diaphragmatic breathing, it signals the parasympathetic nervous system to calm down. Heart rate slows. Stress softens. Clarity returns.
How-to: Start with a simple breathing technique like box breathing (inhale 4 counts, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4). Then have them sing or chant one lyric during a long, slow exhale. Ask them to notice how their body and mind shift. This turns a thinking activity into a healing, embodied experience.
7. Celebrate the song, not just the story
Once a song is created, the healing deepens when it’s shared even in the smallest of ways. Whether a teen performs it for a parent, records it on their phone, or simply reads the lyrics out loud, the act of being heard can be profoundly validating. After all, many of us endured a long stretch of social isolation where feeling disconnected, silenced, or invisible became the norm. In that context, finding a voice and choosing to use it is a radical act of self-expression.
Sharing the song isn’t about performance or perfection, it’s about release. It’s about reclaiming the right to be seen, felt, and understood.
How-to: Gently ask, “Who would you like to share this with?” If they’re not ready, that’s okay. Acknowledge and celebrate the courage it took to write it. The creation itself is the breakthrough.
Final thoughts: Songwriting isn’t just art, it’s a mirror
Teenagers are in the messy, beautiful process of discovering who they are while navigating a world that often feels overwhelming and chaotic. Songwriting offers them a way to pause, reflect, and rewrite their story on their own terms.
And here’s the truth: you don’t have to be a musician to offer this tool. Whether you’re a parent, educator, or coach, your willingness to listen is the most powerful instrument you have.
If you're curious about how songwriting can support the teens in your life, or if you want to try it for yourself, visit here to learn more.
Let the healing begin, one lyric at a time.
Read more from Emma G
Emma G is an award-winning singer/songwriter, 2x TEDx speaker, and empowerment coach who helps teens and adults transform pain into power through trauma-informed voice work and songwriting. After surviving 10 brain surgeries due to hydrocephalus, she discovered the healing potential of music and self-expression.
Her book and album, Mental Health Sounds Like This, offer a neuroscience-backed, culturally grounded approach to emotional wellness. She’s the founder of Emma G Music LLC and has been featured by FOX, WUSA9, The Washington Post, CBS, CBC, and more. Her mission? To save the world, one song at a time.
