How to Be an Ally for the LGBTQIA+ Community During Pride Month and Beyond
- Brainz Magazine
- 4 days ago
- 10 min read
Sandtrice D. Russell is a seasoned mental health professional with nearly 20 years of experience in the helping industry. She is the founder of Unique Destiny Counseling, a virtual counseling practice, the author of the Minding my Own Mental Health Journal, published in 2024, and the host of the Self-Aware & F**ked Up Podcast™.
Being queer has always come with its challenges, like being misunderstood, navigating the fear of coming out due to safety reasons, and being looked at as perverse or demonic. While we have made some progress over the last five decades, the political climate in the United States currently leaves us at great risk of losing all the rights we fought for over so many years. As we celebrate Pride Month, it's important to recognize how advocacy and allyship are more important now than ever.
In this article, we will explore the unique challenges that members of the LGBTQIA+ community are experiencing and how you can help us in our continued fight for our rights as a community.
Pride month
This month marks 10 years since the Supreme Court decision in Obergefell v. Hodges resulted in the Defense of Marriage Act being overturned, legalizing same-sex marriages nationwide. I can remember this day very vividly because of a very amusing phone call I received from the person I was dating at the time. In the community, it was a day of great celebration, and it sparked the Love Wins movement. I honestly never thought that, as a queer Black woman from Georgia, I’d ever see the day marriage would be legalized and I’d have the opportunity to connect with a partner in this way.
Although this month should be a great celebration, given the current political climate, there have been threats to dismantle our protections and rights, and several bills have been introduced in conservative states that limit gender-affirming care. This has also led to restrictions on things like drag performances and any type of education that promotes LGBTQIA+ inclusivity. One of the scariest aspects of this is that many people who have exercised their civil right to marry are now facing the possibility of having limited protections or even not having their marriages recognized in some conservative states.
It is completely disheartening how the Trump administration has targeted members of the trans community, specifically those who identify as non-binary. Within the military, trans people have been discharged as a result of new executive orders that have impacted their livelihoods. In addition, within federal government systems, there has been a targeted erasure of the use of preferred pronouns.
While this may not seem like a big deal to some, erasing someone's identity and causing them to feel like they cannot show up as their authentic selves in any space is detrimental to their mental health. This year, Pride is more important than ever, and here's how we need our allies to show up for us.
What can allies do during Pride month?
We've come a long way since the Stonewall riots, which occurred on June 28, 1969. Stonewall is known as the catalyst of the Pride and gay rights movement. It involved an unplanned rebellion of LGBTQIA+ people against a police raid at the infamous Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in Greenwich Village. While Marsha P. Johnson, a Black trans activist and drag performer, is often credited with throwing the first brick during the riot, the uprising was a collective event. A year later, on June 28, 1970, the first Pride parade took place. It's important for us to remember that Pride is about more than partying and wearing rainbows; it is about fighting for our right to exist as ourselves.
As allies, the most important thing you can do is educate yourself on the challenges we are facing as a community. Knowledge is power, and it’s important that, as allies, you understand what's at stake. Be sure to stay informed on proposed anti-LGBTQIA+ legislation and learn about specific cases going through the court system that may threaten Obergefell or Title IX protections.
Use your voice to speak up and show up for us. You can do this by contacting local representatives and demanding they vote against any discriminatory practices or policies. Show up to our Pride marches, trans rights rallies, and any type of community event that supports the LGBTQIA+ community. Create safe spaces, whether within the workplace, schools, or even churches, where LGBTQIA+ people can feel welcomed without fear of discrimination or judgment.
I cannot stress enough how important it is for us to protect our LGBTQ+ youth. In many states, there has been a removal of education about queerness. While I understand concerns around the age appropriateness of some topics, when we fail to educate our kids, it leaves our LGBTQ+ youth subjected to things like bullying in the school system and within the community. If you have a youth or a teenager who is struggling with exploring their identity, it's important to affirm their identity and advocate for inclusive school policies. For a child to be forced to use the restroom of a gender that does not align with their gender identity is extremely traumatic.
It's also important to support providing mental health resources for LGBTQIA+ youth, especially trans youth, who are at higher risk of suicide. Consider donating to organizations like the Trevor Project, which has a hotline specifically for LGBTQIA+ youth to contact when they're experiencing challenges.
If you know the roots of the first gay pride, then you know that while Pride is a celebration, it is also a protest. During Pride and throughout the year, support LGBTQIA+ artists, creatives, and small businesses. Create space for queer joy in your homes and your communities. Educate your friends and loved ones on how much LGBTQIA+ people contribute to the world.
Don't be silenced by the current political climate and aspects of Trump's 2.0 administration's stance on things like “religious liberty.” This entire administration is anti-DEI and has been on a mission since inauguration day to intimidate and erase our existence. Your silence signifies that you are complicit, so choose to be loud, affirming, and unwavering in your support.
This Pride Month, don't just wear rainbow colors. Don't just show up with a sign at the parade. Be the reason that our community feels safe in this world where there is so much injustice, racism, and trans-erasure. When any community's rights are threatened, it is a problem for all communities. Your allyship should not be optional or a matter of convenience; it is absolutely essential for the protection of the queer community.
Understanding the alphabet soup
Over the past 20 years, public conversations about the queer community and LGBTQ+ rights have become more mainstream. While our visibility has increased, we still face unique challenges because of systemic beliefs that are often rooted in antiquated biblical practices and misogyny. While some members of the LGBTQ+ community work in spaces where they are accepted, and their organization may still promote Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) and inclusivity against the recommendations of the Trump administration, many are currently living in fear of losing their jobs. In fact, with the return of Trump in January 2025, the rights and recognition of trans and nonbinary people have been under direct attack.
To fully understand what's at stake, let's explore the acronym LGBTQIA+ and some of the specific struggles that each member or each community may face.
The "L" in LGBTQIA+ stands for lesbian. A lesbian is a woman who is attracted to other women exclusively and typically partners with, dates, or engages in sexual activity with exclusively women. The "G" stands for a person, typically a male, who is attracted to people of the same gender. Sometimes, lesbians prefer to use the G or gay versus the lesbian term. The "B" stands for bisexual, which is a person who is attracted to more than one gender. Typically, bisexual people date both males and females.
The "T" stands for transgender, previously identified as transsexual or transvestite; the latter term is no longer acceptable and is considered to be derogatory. A trans person is a person whose gender identity does not align with the biological sex they were assigned at birth. The "Q" stands for queer or questioning, and it is an umbrella term for people who do not identify as heterosexual or people who are exploring their sexual orientation and/or gender identity. "I" signifies intersex, which is a person who was born with sexual characteristics that can include chromosomes or genitals that do not fit a typical definition of the binary model of male or female. "A" stands for asexual or aromantic, and this is a person who does not experience sexual and/or romantic attraction.
Plus encompasses all marginalized sexual orientation and gender identity groups and anyone whose gender expression or identity is not explicitly listed. I also want to highlight pansexual, which is a part of the plus in LGBTQIA+. Pansexual people are attracted to people regardless of their gender identity. This means that they may be attracted to people of the same sex or different sex, or people of the trans and nonbinary community.
Now that we've explored what the alphabet soup stands for, let's explore some of the unique challenges that each group faces within the workplace and mainstream society.
Unique challenges within the workplace and society
Lesbians often risk being passed over for leadership roles, and many fear disclosing their identity due to the possibility of bias and microaggressions. As a lesbian, I hid my sexual orientation for many years within the workplace, mostly because I didn't want to be judged by others. For some reason, some straight women tend to think that just because someone is a lesbian, they may be interested in every woman they come in contact with.
I had an encounter in 2007, when I was in my mid-20s, that made me feel very unsafe to come out in the workplace. In fact, after this incident, where a coworker made remarks about being in a room alone with me without knowing my sexual orientation, I made it a point to never come out at a job until I felt completely comfortable that I wouldn't be terminated because of my orientation or treated unfairly. This is a challenge that many people within the queer community face, and while there have been some changes over the years, it is still something that we actively have to think about.
Trans and nonbinary people often face challenges within the workplace and society, including being misgendered and lacking access to gender-affirming facilities like restrooms. As a result, people within the trans community typically face higher rates of unemployment and underemployment due to the stigma around their gender identity. In addition, many trans people also experience the denial of health care coverage to receive gender-affirming care, such as Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). They may also experience microaggressions related to resistance within their departments or jobs to use their correct pronouns or legal names. This has been a huge issue within the federal government since Trump was reelected.
Intersex people are usually erased from DEI efforts. There is such a lack of education or awareness about them that it often leads to assumptions or discrimination. Things like body autonomy often go unacknowledged in workplace conversations. Intersex people often struggle with being able to control their bodies, as the medical system often sees their differences as pathological and focuses on the prioritization of normalizing them versus their overall well-being. Intersex identities are often invisible in mainstream conversations, and many healthcare providers lack training on navigating the treatment of intersex people. Intersex people often experience secrecy, shame, and overall confusion about their identity.
Asexual/aromantic individuals are often misunderstood and subjected to heteronormative office culture. This also results in the inappropriate exploration of their relationships or dating. In addition to challenges within the workplace, people within the LGBTQIA+ community also face challenges around legal insecurity. Within the Trump administration, there is so much uncertainty about the safety of trans people, as well as people of different communities within the community itself. Health care discrimination has also been a big issue recently, with the changes related to the legal treatment of affirming care, especially for trans, intersex, and HIV-positive people.
Many LGBTQ+ people, especially Black and Black and Brown trans women, face a disproportionately high rate of violence and hate crimes. Additionally, numerous people face rejection from their families, and LGBTQ+ youth experience homelessness at astronomical levels due to being kicked out by unsupportive parents. It's also worth noting that mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, and suicidality are extremely high within this community. This seems to be linked to societal stigma and not being included.
Trans erasure
One of the most devastating aspects of Trump's second term is the ongoing attempt to erase the existence and rights of trans people from public life. During his first administration, Trump attempted to define gender as strictly male or female, basing it solely on biology and discrediting gender identity. He also banned transgender people from serving openly in the military and rolled back Title IX protections for trans students. Additionally, his legislation empowered health care providers to refuse treatment to trans patients under religious freedom rules.
Since his return to office, he has made a renewed push to restrict trans rights, including legislation targeting gender-affirming care and banning providers from giving treatment. He is targeting efforts to remove DEI programs from federal agencies that include gender identity and has initiated restrictions on trans participation in sports and public places. Trump is also enforcing policies that misgender or refer to individuals by their dead name in federal records. This is what we call trans erasure, and it is a deliberate political and social movement to strip trans people of visibility, legal rights, and their identity.
When one part of the LGBTQ+ community is under attack, the whole community is under attack. Trans and nonbinary people are not a Barbie doll collection of people; they are people with real lives, real families, and real values. Silencing trans voices is a dangerous precedent to set, as it also puts all communities at risk of losing rights. While it may be gender identity today, tomorrow it could be marriage equality or the removal of workplace protections for all minority groups.
Next steps
As allies, you must speak up and correct any misinformation about LGBTQ+ identities, especially trans and intersex people. Advocate for inclusive policies at work, school, and in your local government. Vote and support candidates who protect not only LGBTQIA+ rights but human rights, and resist legislation that is rooted in discriminatory practices. Donate and support grassroots trans-led organizations like the Transgender Law Center, For the Gworls, and the Marsha P. Johnson Institute. Educate and learn beyond Pride Month. Read LGBTQIA+ literature to learn about our history and our lived experience.
Our community is not monolithic; each letter represents real people with unique challenges, stories, families, and voices. Be mindful that these distinctions are the first step to being a genuine ally in spirit, especially in this political climate that is committed to dividing, silencing, and erasing people. Pride is more than a party; it is rooted in our history of fighting for what's important. In the face of trans erasure and rising hate against our community at large, it's important to stay active and use your voice. Happy Pride!
Read more from Sandtrice D. Russell
Sandtrice D. Russell, Unique Destiny Counseling
Sandtrice D. Russell is a fierce mental health advocate whose life's mission is empowering others through education. Her childhood upbringing led her into the helping profession and she is committed to helping remove the stigma associated with pursuing mental health services. Sandtrice is a Licensed Professional Therapist in Georgia and Texas. She is also the founder of Unique Destiny Counseling, the author of the Minding my Own Mental Health Journal, published in 2024, and the host of the Self-Aware & F**ked Up Podcast™.
