Laura Jackson RN, BScN, MN is an award-winning healthcare leader and holistic wellness facilitator. She is the Founder of Paradigm Joy Inc, a holistic mental health and wellness service that helps people to relieve stress, recover from trauma, transform limiting beliefs and cultivate self-compassion.
Caregivers embody compassion. Many bare witnesses to the suffering in life, as well as the abundance of joy. Caregivers provide support in times of celebration and through challenging times. Some live with anticipatory grief and others put on a brave face for the care recipient in times of setbacks, terminal illness or disease progression.
For many, the reality of caregiving includes continuing to work while trying to carve out time for self-care. Many caregivers lose their sense of self when caregiving consumes all their time outside of work.
If you are finding it hard to balance work with caregiving and find time for yourself, you are not alone. Balancing work, caregiving and self-care can be extremely challenging. This article will identify 5 essential strategies that caregivers can use to cultivate balance.
Are you a caregiver?
A caregiver is an individual who regularly looks after a person who is dependent or has an illness, disease, or a disability. Although many caregivers are family members, a caregiver may be a friend or a member of one’s community. The care recipient is often a family member, friend, or neighbor. For the purposes of this article, I will focus on informal caregivers vs paid caregivers such as a doctor or nurse. To distinguish between roles the terms caregiver and care recipient will be used, although care partner is a more contemporary and less stigmatizing term.
A caregiver ensures the care recipient's needs are met and provides a broad range of assistance. A caregiver often finds themselves collaborating with the care recipient, doing with, to achieve an unmet need. Caregivers also help to foster the development of the care recipient so they can meet their own needs including; mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, financial, and social.
If you provide someone help with; transportation to medical appointments, medication management, monitoring their medical condition, emotional support, communicating with health care providers, advocacy, getting dressed, bathing or showering, grocery or other shopping, housework, preparing meals or managing finances—then you are a caregiver.
The ripple effect
Caregiving is associated with many positive outcomes. Research and popular culture tends to focus on the negative aspects of caregiving, this contributes to the stigma and perceived stress associated with the role. There is emerging evidence that highlights the positive aspects of caregiving. Some family caregivers report a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment from caring for a loved one. Others report that it has improved their relationship with the care recipient. Caregiving has been correlated with stronger family relationships and as a result of taking on more responsibility, it increases knowledge, and fosters self-esteem and confidence. Caregivers have reported that caregiving has taught them about resilience, adaptability, flexibility and facilitated perspective. Caregiver support has been shown to contribute to better health outcomes and improved quality of care for the care recipient.
However, caregiving can be an incredibly challenging experience, especially if there are no other support systems in place, or if support is limited or inadequate. Caregivers often give up everything to support the care recipient or sacrifice their own well-being and goals to provide care. As a result, the risk of burnout and the rates of stress, anxiety and depression is high among caregivers.
Balancing caregiving and work
Caregivers that are in the workforce often feel overwhelmed. Caregiving responsibilities may impact your ability to focus on work and may put a strain on your financial health and professional development over the long term. Many caregivers find that while they are at work their mind is on the care recipient. They may be interrupted by calls from the care recipient or from service providers. Caregivers periodically take time away from work or use their time off to manage care, whether it be on a lunch break, on a vacation day or on unpaid time. Frequently requesting time off to provide care can lead to anxiety, and may impact job productivity and your relationships with colleagues and your employer. Time off is seldom used for self-care which overtime contributes to stress and burnout. Unpaid time off may cause financial stress for some caregivers and it is one factor that is associated with the financial burden of caregiving.
5 strategies to cultivate balance with work, caregiving and self-care
Establish your allies
Take the time to list who supports you in your caregiving role. Care recipients often have more than one person supporting their care needs, whether it be a sibling, friend or professional. Distinguishing who these individuals are and what support they provide will allow you to clarify who you can count on and reach out to when support is needed. To foster inclusion and increase the chances of success, ensure that you include the care recipient in this process as much as possible.
Next, reflect on trusted individuals in your community that may be able to provide support that are not currently. Choose your allies wisely, screen them, and ensure that they are the right fit and have the skills to support an identified task.
It may be hard to ask for help and admit that you need help. However, receiving help may provide you with the break that you need to prevent burnout or empathic strain.
Depending on the needs of the care recipient, you may not be able to do it all on your own and this is ok. Coming to terms with this can be a source of distress for some caregivers. Caregivers often put unrealistic expectations on themselves or perceive it as a weakness or failure if they cannot provide care as they had hoped. Offering yourself compassion is imperative instead of being critical towards yourself. Your ability to effectively care for another is dependent on your ability to care for yourself and set healthy boundaries.
Once you have identified your trusted allies, think of yourself as the director. Is there anyone that you can delegate a task to when you cannot do it yourself, or need a break? It may take some coordination on your part, however, your list of trusted allies will become a key resource that will help you to cultivate balance in your life.
If you are caring for a parent and have identified a sibling who may be able to provide support but is not, consider holding a family meeting to discuss the need for support. Go to the meeting prepared to discuss the need and the desired outcome. There is often an imbalance between the levels of care siblings provide to a care recipient (if it is a parent), for many reasons. It may take some negotiating and compromise before there is an agreement on what everyone can help with.
When delegating care to an ally, it is important to be specific, to provide an overview of the task and to share pertinent information that they may need to effectively provide support.
Identify vulnerable areas
It is not until caregivers list all the things that they do that they realize how much time they devote to caregiving. Many tasks are assumed and done on autopilot, this exercise will help to clarify what you do, how you spend your time and where you may need to seek additional support.
Take the time to do a fulsome inventory of what support you currently provide for the care recipient. Your list must be as detailed as possible. Create your inventory using the key pillars of support that you provide, such as; personal care (e.g., haircuts, showering), banking (e.g., navigating online banking), housework (e.g., laundry, cleaning, vacuuming, dishes), transportation (e.g., to podiatrist, physician, specialist appointments, day program, school), appointments (e.g., dentist, physiotherapy), grocery shopping, mental health support (e.g., coaching), social support (e.g., visit with friends, outings), meal preparation or care coordination.
Under each pillar write down what you do, how much time you spend doing it and when you do it. Highlight tasks that you feel you could use help with and note beside the task the name of an identified ally that you will ask for support.
Locate care services
If you cannot identify personal allies that can help to support care, research what is available in your community. Some community services are offered for free, or they may be covered by the care recipient’s insurance or the government, while others are available for a fee. If you have access to a care coordinator or social worker, they may be able to help you to identify options.
Homecare may be available to support the care recipient with care in the home including but not limited to; personal care, meal preparation, light housekeeping, therapeutic activation, medication management, emotional support and companionship.
Respite services may be available in your area and some respite services may be provided at home. These services are available on a short or long-term basis. The services are provided at a designated location and comprehensive care and monitoring would be provided around the clock.
Community programs may be an option. The care recipient would attend the program during the day for a set amount of time. Day programs often provide educational programming, therapeutic activation, physical activity and serve as an opportunity for the care recipient to form social connections.
It would be helpful to check if subsidized transportation services are available in your area. If there are no transportation services available, consider asking one of your trusted allies for help.
Review employer policies
Many employers have policies related to caregiver support. These options may include but are not limited to; flexible working arrangements, paid and unpaid leave benefits, special programs, services, and resources. If you have questions, consult your manager, human resources department or union, they will be able to provide clarification and discuss options that may not be found in policy.
Your employer may be able to accommodate a flexible working arrangement so you can continue to work while you provide care. Some options may include working remotely or hybrid, flexible scheduling, or job sharing.
Review your benefits package to see what types of leave you are entitled to if it is needed. Employment legislation in your geographic area may outline unpaid leave and job protection rights if this is a concern.
You may also be entitled to government-funded caregiver assistance, such as compassionate care funding, caregiving leave assistance, and employment insurance, consult your human resources department to find out what your options are.
Identify resources just for you
There are many caregiver organizations and associations that exist to support caregivers. These resources offer a wide range of services, from education about caregiving, self-care, and burnout. Some organizations for caregivers offer education and resources on how to care for someone at a particular developmental stage, or if they are living with an illness, disease, or disability. These organizations may offer coaching as well as peer support programs for caregivers.
Resources are often available for caregivers from the organizations that support the care recipient. Resources may include consultation, wellness programs as well as education on how to provide care.
Your employer may offer an employee assistance program that includes sponsored coaching and mental health counseling. Some employee assistance services include access to nutritional counseling, career coaching, and legal assistance, these services may be extended to your family members, depending on your employer’s plan.
There are many technology apps designed to support caregivers, some are tailored to help with monitoring, medication management, and communication, while others are designed for specific populations. Wellness apps provide resources for caregivers to reduce stress and foster well-being.
Need more help?
Being a caregiver can be equally rewarding and challenging. Despite your efforts to do your best, it can be extremely difficult to balance caregiving with work and find time for self-care. If you are a caregiver and struggling with your mental health, having difficulty coping, or need assistance navigating resources, you do not have to do it on your own. There are coaches and counselors available to guide you along the way. Get in touch today to schedule a consultation, let’s work together to create a personalized roadmap tailored to your needs.
Read more from Laura Jackson
Laura Jackson, Healthcare Leader & Holistic Wellness Facilitator
Laura Jackson RN, BScN, MN, is certified in psychiatric and mental health nursing with the Canadian Nurses Association and is a Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach with the National Board for Health and Wellness Coaching. She is the Founder of Paradigm Joy, a holistic mental health and wellness service where she provides counselling, coaching, education, and retreats. Her approach to wellness is holistic and integrative. With an emphasis on somatic (body-based) interventions, she uses her skills in nervous system co-regulation, therapeutic yoga, meditation, and self-compassion to create an environment of safety and to support people to relieve stress, recover from trauma, transform limiting beliefs, and reach their full potential.
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