10 Essential Traits of a Healthy, Happy Couple, and How to Become One
- Brainz Magazine
- Jul 31
- 6 min read
Versandra J. Kennebrew is a dynamic motivational speaker, healing artist, and holistic health educator with more than two decades of transformative experience. As the founder of Optimal Living Retreats LP, she empowers couples, communities, and wellness professionals to embrace touch as a sacred tool for healing and connection. Her innovative work in relationship wellness earned her the prestigious 2025 CREA Global Award from Brainz Magazine, honoring her contributions to holistic healing and emotional intimacy.
In an age of overstimulation and emotional fragmentation, healthy relationships are radical acts. The most joyful couples aren’t just lucky, they’re intentional. They understand that love is built in quiet moments, conscious rituals, and mutual growth. Drawing inspiration from the real-life journey of Egypt Sherrod and Mike Jackson (hosts of Married to Real Estate and the Marriage and Money Podcast), here are ten science-supported traits of thriving partnerships and how to embody them.
1. Emotional safety
Emotional safety is the bedrock of every thriving relationship. It’s more than knowing your partner won’t betray your trust; it’s the certainty that your emotions, fears, and dreams will be met with empathy and care. In emotionally safe relationships, partners can express anger, sadness, or vulnerability without fear of judgment or retaliation. This trait has been validated by the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which concluded that deep emotional safety in close relationships contributes more to longevity and happiness than money or fame. Healthy couples create this safety intentionally through reflective listening, compassion in conflict, and consistent affirmations of love.
“We heal more deeply when we create safe spaces to be seen, heard, and held without words.” Touch Me With Love
2. Intentional touch
Touch, when given mindfully, is one of the most profound forms of nonverbal communication. Intentional touch has the power to calm the nervous system, build emotional intimacy, and even repair relational ruptures. Couples who engage in regular affectionate touch, like holding hands, sharing a massage, or partner yoga, benefit from increased levels of oxytocin, the hormone often called the "bonding hormone." Research published in Psychosomatic Medicine reveals that even brief warm contact lowers blood pressure and heart rate, particularly during stressful moments.
“To touch with love is to say, ‘I see you, I feel you, I choose you.” Touch Me With Love
3. Rituals of connection
Rituals offer couples more than routine; they provide rhythm and intimacy. In healthy relationships, recurring rituals serve as emotional scaffolding that strengthens the bond. Whether it’s saying “I love you” before bed, cooking meals together every Sunday, or dedicating weekly time to share gratitude, these moments become sacred touchpoints. According to the Gottman Institute, couples who engage in meaningful rituals demonstrate higher trust, smoother conflict resolution, and deeper emotional attunement. Over time, these shared practices build a relational heartbeat that keeps couples emotionally aligned.
“Love is amplified when we create rituals that honor our union.” Touch Me With Love
4. Growth mindset
Relationships require change, but conscious couples embrace it as a gift, not a threat. A growth mindset means seeing your partner not just as they are today, but as who they’re becoming. It’s about holding space for each other’s evolution while choosing to grow together. Couples with a growth orientation respond better to challenges and are more likely to rebound from conflict, according to studies in Positive Psychology. Egypt and Mike’s journey illustrates this beautifully—they sought therapy not to “fix” each other, but to understand and uplift one another as evolving individuals.
“Intimacy deepens when we slow down and listen with our hands, our breath, and our hearts.” Touch Me With Love
5. Compassionate communication
Compassionate communication involves more than speaking, it’s about creating space to hear your partner’s truth without defensiveness. Healthy couples avoid blame and use “I feel” statements to express emotions clearly and kindly. Research in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) reveals that emotional responsiveness, the ability to attune and respond to your partner’s feelings, is more powerful than simply resolving conflict. Egypt and Mike shifted from reactive exchanges to conversations rooted in empathy, proving that connection begins where compassion meets clarity.
“Touch teaches us to communicate beyond words through presence, breath, and intention.” Touch Me With Love
6. Shared purpose
A shared purpose turns a partnership into a movement. Couples who co-create impact, through advocacy, entrepreneurship, or service, forge a bond beyond romance. Purpose provides meaning and resilience. Research from the University of California shows that shared long-term goals increase relationship fulfillment. Egypt and Mike transformed grief into public activism, using their platform to speak out on maternal health disparities. When love and legacy intertwine, relationships become platforms for healing the world.
“When we stand together in purpose, healing becomes a collective act of honor.” Touch Me With Love
7. Emotional resilience
Emotional resilience allows couples to withstand life’s stressors while remaining connected. Whether facing postpartum depression, job loss, or mental health challenges, resilient couples support one another with grace and compassion. The National Institutes of Health note that emotional co-regulation, comforting, validating, and attuning, reduces cortisol and boosts security. Egypt and Mike modeled this by choosing therapy and open dialogue rather than suppression. Resilience isn’t about avoiding the storm; it’s about choosing love during it.
“To be still together is to speak volumes in silence.” Touch Me With Love
8. Playfulness & joy
Playfulness invites spontaneity, creativity, and laughter into the relationship. Whether you’re dancing while cooking, making up silly nicknames, or celebrating small wins, joy becomes a tool for connection. Neuroscience shows that humor activates the brain's reward system, releasing dopamine and reinforcing relational bonds. Dr. Barbara Fredrickson’s broaden-and-build theory links joy to increased resilience and trust. In Egypt and Mike’s story, simple acts like Mike’s handwritten birthday note became touchstones of emotional reset. Joy heals what logic cannot.
“Joy is a sacred touch, light, spontaneous, and deeply connecting.” Touch Me With Love
9. Respect for autonomy
Autonomy means honoring each other’s freedom while choosing togetherness. Healthy couples encourage personal growth, creative pursuits, and solitude, not as threats to intimacy but as nutrients. Self-determination theory reveals that relationships thrive when partners support one another’s independence and authenticity. Egypt rediscovered her goals after realizing she had sacrificed too much for harmony. Their recovery shows that autonomy is not disconnection, it’s empowerment.
“Love thrives when we honor both union and individuality.” Touch Me With Love
10. Sacred leadership
Sacred leadership is relational integrity in action. It’s initiating hard conversations, modeling emotional intelligence, and uplifting your partner privately and publicly. Couples who practice this inspire healing in others' families, communities, and clients alike. According to the Journal of Positive Psychology, relational leadership builds trust, resilience, and influence. Egypt and Mike demonstrate this by sharing transparently across media platforms and parenting with intention. Leadership in love is not loud, it’s luminous.
“Leadership in healing begins when we live our truth out loud with grace, courage, and compassion.” Touch Me With Love
Drama vs. devotion: Fictional couples vs. conscious partnership
The media often teaches us to confuse chaos with chemistry. Consider Andi and Gary from Tyler Perry’s Sistas a couple engulfed in manipulation, possessiveness, and emotional instability. Gary’s hidden marriage and attempts to control Andi’s career dramatize unhealthy dynamics that blur the line between romance and abuse. These portrayals normalize dysfunction and suggest that volatility equals passion.
Now, meet three real-life couples who model connection over chaos:
Egypt Sherrod & Mike Jackson: Champions of healing, advocacy, and emotional transparency through their show and podcast Marriage and Money.
Montell & Kristin Jordan: A couple who rebuilt from infidelity and financial loss through faith, vulnerability, and alignment.
Trina Braxton & Von Scales: Publicly committed to joy, respect, and self-work, proof that second chances in love are possible.
Final words
Healthy love is intentional, rhythmic, and nourishing. It is built on trust, touch, truth, and the courage to heal together. Whether you're cultivating a new relationship or rebuilding from the inside out, these ten traits offer a roadmap to love that sustains, uplifts, and transforms. And with partners like Egypt and Mike lighting the way, it’s clear that conscious love isn’t just possible, it’s powerful.
Explore Comprehensive Relationship Practices here. Delve into the Touch Me With Love: Fall Awakening Retreat. This immersive experience invites couples to rekindle their commitment to one another, awakening the love and compassion that initially brought them together. Just as nature transforms into a beautiful canvas of colors, so too can relationships be transformed.
Read more from Versandra J. Kennebrew
Versandra J. Kennebrew, Speaker, Author & Healing Artist
A certified yoga teacher and graduate of Irene’s Myomassology Institute and the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, Versandra blends science, spirit, and storytelling to create immersive wellness experiences. Her book Touch Me With Love: Intimate Alignment for Couples Through Touch and Yoga is a cornerstone of her mission to restore trust and deepen love through intentional touch. Whether speaking on international stages or mentoring future wellness leaders, Versandra’s message is clear: love is the force that binds us, and touch is its language.
