Limerick, Ireland – 3 September 2026 – John Quaid, known as JQ, Founder of Believe in Wellness and Executive Contributor to Brainz Magazine, today announces the launch of his debut book, Keep Believing… The Best Is Yet to Come – A Practical Guide to Self-Belief, Mindfulness & Finding Inner Peace. Published by WIZER Books, the book is now available to pre-order on Amazon Kindle and launches officially on Thursday 10th September 2026 at 7 pm in Limerick, Ireland. Written for people who are outwardly successful and inwardly running on empty, the book offers a practical and deeply personal roadmap for inner transformation. About the book Keep Believing… The Best Is Yet to Come is the result of seven years of inner work and thirty-five years in corporate life, including leadership roles at Dell Technologies and O2 Ireland. It is written for anyone who senses that the most important work of their life has nothing to do with their job title. The book takes the reader on a journey through mind, body and spirit, offering practical tools, honest personal stories and a central conviction that has guided everything John Quaid has built and shared publicly. Structured across eleven chapters, the book explores themes including self-awareness, mindfulness, non-attachment, the observer, respect, happiness and humility, the three life-guiding principles at the heart of the author's philosophy and practice. It is a book that speaks directly to the pressures many people are carrying quietly in their professional and personal lives. "When the inner world shifts, the outer world changes." – John Quaid, Author of Keep Believing… The Best Is Yet to Come “It has been a privilege to work with John through the publishing process and to see the book move from manuscript to finished publication.” – Sarah Griffin, WIZER Books “The meaningfulness behind this book runs like water through sand, uncompromising in both its clarity and its goal. Written entirely from experience and expressed in a simple and clear manner there is no room left for misunderstanding. The impact of what you read in these pages may be warm and kind, challenging in its immediacy, frightening in its depth or a combination of all three.” – Nino Matassa, Early Reader Book details Title: Keep Believing… The Best Is Yet to Come Subtitle: A Practical Guide to Self-Belief, Mindfulness & Finding Inner Peace Author: John Quaid (JQ) Publisher: WIZER Books eBook price: £4.99 / €5.99 Paperback price: £12.99 (GBP) / €14.99 + VAT (euro price varies by country due to local VAT rates) ISBN: 9791399277005 eBook: Available now to pre-order on Amazon Kindle eBook: Available on Amazon globally. To purchase in your local currency, visit Amazon.com and select your country, or search Keep Believing… The Best Is Yet to Come by John Quaid on your local Amazon store. Launch event Date: Thursday 10 September 2026 Time: 7 pm Venue: Limerick, Ireland The book launch is open to invited guests. Media enquiries welcome. Please contact John Quaid directly. About the author John Quaid, known as JQ, is a Bespoke Wellness Consultant, Mindfulness Practitioner and Founder of Believe in Wellness, based in Limerick, Ireland. After thirty-five years in corporate life, including leadership roles at Dell Technologies and O2 Ireland, he left to do the work that had been quietly shaping everything for the previous seven years. He works with individuals and organisations across Ireland, Europe and the United States, virtually and in person. John is an Executive Contributor to Brainz Magazine, reaching over 300,000 readers across 65 countries and 6 continents. About Believe in Wellness Believe in Wellness is a bespoke wellness consultancy founded by John Quaid (JQ), guiding individuals and organisations to transform from within through mind, body and spirit. Drawing on thirty-five years of corporate experience and seven years of deep inner work, Believe in Wellness offers practical, lived and honest support for professionals seeking genuine and lasting change. Visit believein-wellness.com for more information. Media contact John Quaid Founder of Believe in Wellness Email +353 85 123 4682 LinkedIn Instagram

Written by Marianne Van Oyen, Psychologist | Author Marianne Van Oyen is a psychologist in private practice with over 30 years of experience. She is a published author with three books to offer those who wish to expand their knowledge and skills by implementing her tools and insights. Marianne brings a blend of intuition, creativity, and psychology to her work. While on a recent car ride, I was listening to the radio, 92.5 FM to be exact, when I heard an alarming piece of news stating that the Kids Help Line was being used in the wee hours of the morning, with a distressed call reaching the help line every 90 seconds. “Children don’t need parents who never make mistakes. They need parents who are willing to understand the feelings behind the behaviour.” That is disturbing, and I guess many parents have no clue. Not because they don’t care, but because they may be too exhausted, stressed, distracted, or disconnected, or may not understand their child’s emotional needs and landscape. Some kids don’t want to alarm their parents, so a confidential help line feels safer. Some kids may feel that their parents don’t understand them or, worse, may ridicule them for being stressed and sensitive. The main reasons cited for the calls were the news and the pressure of social media and its content. Peer pressure and social influence have always been sources of stress for young people. However, they now have a global platform, making the impact more powerful. Hence, there is a need to educate and restrict who has access to social media. Every child enters the world with feelings before they have words. Before children can explain what they need, they communicate through crying, smiling, laughing, reaching, protesting, withdrawing, and seeking comfort. Emotions are a child’s first language. They are not signs of weakness, manipulation, or poor behaviour. They are messages. As parents, we become the first interpreters of those messages. The way we respond to our children’s emotions will influence not only their behaviour today but also how they see themselves, build relationships, manage stress, and navigate life for years to come. Yet, despite the importance of emotional development, many of us were never taught how to respond to feelings in a productive way, whether our own or our children’s. Most parents deeply love their children. The challenge is that love alone does not automatically teach emotional intelligence. We parent largely based on what we experienced ourselves. If our feelings were ignored, criticized, or punished, we often repeat those patterns without realizing it. The good news is that emotional awareness can be learned at any stage in life. When parents learn, children benefit. Feelings are information, not inconveniences Imagine driving a car with disconnected dashboard warning lights. The engine may be overheating. The oil may be dangerously low. The problem doesn’t disappear just because the warning light is covered. Our emotions work much the same way. Feelings are our internal guiding system, along with our intuition and energetic messages from our bodies. They alert us to what is happening within and around us. Fear warns us of potential danger. Sadness tells us something valuable has been lost. Anger often signals that a boundary has been crossed. Joy reminds us of connection, meaning, and love. Children feel these emotions just as intensely, and maybe even more intensely, than adults do because they have little life experience to draw on and no embedded defence mechanisms. They also don’t have the brain development or emotional vocabulary to make sense of what they are feeling. They borrow our nervous systems until they develop their own. That is why parents matter so profoundly. Behaviour is the language, feelings are the message One of the greatest mistakes we make in parenting is believing that behaviour is the problem. Usually, behaviour is simply the visible expression of an invisible emotional experience. A child who screams is overwhelmed. A child who refuses to cooperate may feel powerless. A child who withdraws may be anxious. A child who hits may lack the words to express frustration. When we focus only on stopping a behaviour without understanding the feeling underneath, we may silence the symptom while leaving the real issue untouched. This is much like treating a fever without investigating the infection causing it. Children need guidance for their behaviour. But first, they need someone willing to understand what the behaviour is trying to communicate. When feelings are dismissed Many well meaning adults unknowingly send messages such as, “You’re fine.” “Stop crying.” “Don’t be so sensitive.” “Big boys don’t cry.” “There’s nothing to be upset about.” Although these statements are often intended to comfort, children may hear something different, “My feelings don’t matter.” “Something is wrong with me.” “I shouldn’t feel what I feel.” “If I express emotions, I lose connection.” Some of these thoughts become internalized negative cognitions that become embedded in the psyche and nervous system, only to misguide children on their journey through life and haunt them in adulthood. They may not even realize this is happening, yet they wonder why they feel bad and think negatively about themselves, often finding themselves repeating negative patterns that they can’t seem to break. Over time, children may begin suppressing rather than processing emotions. Unprocessed emotions rarely disappear. Instead, they can turn into negative thoughts about the self and be believed as true. These negative cognitions interfere with a healthy internal GPS. Often, these suppressed emotions and negative cognitions can reappear as anxiety, perfectionism, anger, depression, withdrawal, people pleasing, addictions, relationship difficulties, or physical symptoms. I know; I see this every day in my practice. The emotional pain changes form. It does not simply vanish. Parents are emotional leaders Children do not need perfect parents. They need emotionally available parents. When children become overwhelmed, they are not looking for someone to solve every problem. They are looking for someone who can remain calm enough to help them feel safe. Calm is contagious. So is anxiety. Children constantly study our emotional responses. If we react with panic, they learn panic. If we react with anger, they learn anger. If we remain calm while acknowledging difficult feelings, they gradually learn that emotions, even intense ones, can be experienced safely without becoming overwhelming. This is how emotional resilience develops. The difference between validation and permissiveness One of the greatest misconceptions in parenting is that validating a child’s feelings means agreeing with their behaviour. These are two very different things. A child may feel furious because they cannot have another cookie. Their anger is real. Their demand doesn't have to be granted, but it can be understood and processed. You might say, “I can see you're really disappointed. You wanted another cookie. It’s okay to feel angry. Let’s look at when you can have another cookie, or you can have something else. Would you like some cheese or watermelon? These are healthier options than a cookie if you're still hungry.” Notice what happens. The feeling isn't shut down; it's validated. The boundary remains firm, and two other options are presented. Children need validation and options. Positive parenting offers both compassion and leadership. Feelings need movement Emotions are meant to move through us. Children naturally cry, laugh, seek comfort, play, and reconnect. Healthy emotional expression allows feelings to complete their cycle. When children learn that emotions are safe, they recover more quickly from disappointment, frustration, and sadness. When emotions are repeatedly suppressed or mocked, they tend to accumulate. Eventually, they may emerge in unexpected ways, such as explosive anger, chronic worry, withdrawal, perfectionism, physical illness, or unhealthy coping behaviours later in life. Helping children express emotions is not encouraging weakness. It is teaching health. The CALM LEAD method Throughout my years as a psychologist, I have found that emotionally healthy parenting often follows four simple principles as part of my CALM LEAD process. L: Listen before you lead Seek to understand your child’s emotional experience before correcting behaviour. E: Empathize while setting limits Children need to feel understood while still learning healthy limits. A: Acknowledge and guide Name the feeling, offer calm support, and teach healthier ways to express it. D: Develop resilience Every emotional moment becomes an opportunity to strengthen confidence, learn emotional regulation, and develop trust. Children do not need us to eliminate difficult emotions. They need us to help them navigate those emotions with understanding and confidence. Five simple ways to build emotional health every day Identify your child’s feelings before solving the problem. Listen more than you speak. Stay calm, especially when your child cannot. Separate the child’s behaviour from who they are as a person and from their worth. Repair after difficult moments. Every parent loses patience sometimes. Repair teaches children that relationships can heal and that feelings come and go. A final thought One day, your child will become an adult. Long after they have forgotten the toys you bought or the vacations you took, they will remember something far more important. They and their nervous system will remember how they felt in your presence. Did they feel safe? Did they feel understood? Did they feel accepted? Did they feel that their voice and ideas mattered? These are questions that shape emotional health for a lifetime. Parenting is not about raising perfectly behaved children. It is about raising emotionally healthy human beings who know that all feelings are welcome, that difficult emotions can be managed, and that love remains present even during life’s hardest moments. When children feel understood, they learn to connect with and understand themselves. That may be one of the greatest gifts a parent can ever give! If you are struggling with your parenting journey, make it easier by reading my book, Calm Parenting: Effective Strategies to Improve Cooperation, Facilitate Clear Communication, Lessen Sibling Rivalry, Avoid Meltdowns, and Promote Positive Behaviour. This book is available on Amazon. You can also check out my four-night Reset UnYell course here. Please reach out if you have any questions or would like to book a session. Happy calm parenting. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Marianne Van Oyen Marianne Van Oyen, Psychologist | Author Marianne Van Oyen answered her call to serve others at the age of 21 and to help make the world a better place, one person at a time. She works primarily with adolescents, adults, and couples in person and virtually. Marianne has spent money, time, and energy in many professional development programs, learning many modalities of therapy to offer her clients the best service and results possible. She has also taken the same path to develop her skills as a writer, author, and publisher so that she can expand her reach.

Written by Cameron Tukapua, Heartfelt Living Coach & Chinese Medicine Practitioner Cameron Tukapua coaches people to heal and transform their lives and relationships through conscious Self-care. Her offerings are based on four decades of clinical acupuncture and teaching experience. Cameron is the author of 'Heartfelt Living – How to Navigate Change and Healing: Your Ancient Wisdom Guide'. Instinctively, we know our Heart rules our life, yet most of us don’t know how it rules. The sweet thing is that the Heart’s language is plain and simple. It requires listening to deeper parts of ourselves, and now is always the entry point. The wisdom traditions of Chinese medicine, Yoga and Indigenous peoples recognize the heart as the bridge between the worlds of body, mind and spirit. It is home to our higher mind and our pure awareness. It is our doorway to love and connection to others, and it reads how our body feels. The heart uplifts us, unites us with others, and grounds us. In this way, it connects our inner and outer worlds. When we listen to our heartfelt awareness, we find our best teacher living inside us. Deep down in our heart, we know what feels right and true for ourselves. Acting on that inner knowing helps us show up to life as the most whole version of ourselves, which is “healing as a way of being.” Seven steps to healing as a way of being 1. Be present Slowing down and being awake to the mystery of the moment opens the door to the heart. Our heartfelt awareness is engaged by living in the present. This inner knowing is naturally attuned to the oneness of life, the place where all is well and all is one. A healthy heart’s presence has an open, peaceful, happy quality of being, with an energy that is enlivening. Practices such as prayer and meditation help to anchor this peaceful state, which can generalise into everyday wellbeing. Singing, dancing, having fun and listening to music are other powerful ways to come directly to the energy of the moment. 2. Befriend your higher Self In Yoga traditions, the Self, with a capital S, refers to the highest consciousness. Our higher Self lives in our hearts and, like all good friends, it loves our attention. Our inner Self is divine, whole and beautiful. It wants the highest for us because it is the highest in us. “Meditate on your Self. Honour your Self. Worship your Self. Understand your own Self. God dwells within you as you.” – Baba Muktananda 3. Play and have fun A healthy heart’s energy is light, happy and carefree, like a child. Its sound is laughter. To keep the Heart strong, make time for dancing, singing and music. These are universal ways of powering up our heart energy. Having fun is essential for a happy, heartfelt life. As a healer who deals with the heavy stuff of life, including death, chronic painful illness, sadness and depression, I have to have fun to survive! When I stop laughing, I know I’m in trouble. For me, it’s time for some uplifting music, a dance, a swim in the ocean regardless of season, time with some wild, freedom-loving friends, a drink or a party. What do you do for fun? 4. Live in allowance The heart is our unifying organ. It helps us connect and find balance within ourselves, as well as with those around us. Studies show how opening up to others by focusing on positive emotions, such as gratitude and acceptance, can help harmonise all levels of being: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. HeartMath scientists refer to this as coherence, a high-performing state that brings out the very best in us. The Heart’s view is also like the sun in the sky, light and expansive. It is able to see all things as part of one energy. It knows how to live in allowance of different ways of being as a natural part of life. “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” – Rumi 5. Find your voice In Chinese medicine, each of the internal organs governs a sense, and speech belongs to the heart. As we give voice to what is true for us, we bring others into our picture. Speaking our truth can help open up more authentic communication. The heart knows what is appropriate. It discerns how to find the right words and say them at the right time. Truthful, timely communication helps build strong-hearted connections. In a training with anthropologist Dr. Angeles Arrien, the importance of speaking up by “saying what is so, when it’s so” was emphasized as a tool for healing old hurts. I learned from her teachings that aligning content, context, and timing is critical for effective communication. Misunderstandings can easily occur when these three are not aligned. Speaking up may make us feel vulnerable, especially if we are not practised at using our voice. At the same time, honest truth telling is essential for clearing conflict and forging real connections with ourselves and others. “I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality.” – Martin Luther King 6. Free yourself to be your Self If you want more for your life but don’t know what or how, that’s okay. Many of us have been conditioned to think we should always know where we are going, and when we don’t know, we judge ourselves. The deeper truth is that “life is a mystery” and full of surprise! “Not knowing” is part of living a Heartfelt life. This way of living is a step-by-step approach rather than a destination-focused approach. This process can give us the courage and confidence to stand up, speak up, and shine. 7. Love your Self Loving our Self is one of the greatest contributions we can make to our healing. It is a direct route to becoming the most whole version of our fragile, human self. Disciplines such as Yoga, Qigong, meditation and positive self-talk, when practised with Self-love, transform our lives. These self-care routines invoke high-vibration feelings like joy, bliss and happiness. They help us feel whole and at one with the world around us. This is healing as a way of being. “Close your eyes. Fall in love. Stay there.” – Rumi The ancient wisdom teachings are plain and simple. They offer us a language for connecting with deeper parts of ourselves and others. If you are searching for something more for your life, I invite you to come on a heartfelt journey with me. Learn more about my live, interactive masterclasses, “Heartfelt Living” and “Nourishing Roots.” For a deeper dive, individual wellbeing healing and professional development support, join me for one-to-one coaching. Free yourself to be your Self. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Cameron Tukapua Cameron Tukapua, Heartfelt Living Coach & Chinese Medicine Practitioner Cameron Tukapua is a wellbeing coach who shares ancient wisdom teachings from Chinese Medicine, along with Qigong, Yoga, and Meditation practices. She helps people align the head and heart. Cameron has written a book called ‘Heartfelt Living', and her work has been featured in Thrive Global. She offers Individual coaching, online study pathways, and face-to-face wellbeing retreats.

Written by Amy Read, Board-certified Nurse Practitioner Amy Read, NP, is the founder of Sunshine Functional Healing. With a passion for root-cause medicine, she combines advanced clinical expertise and holistic care to help clients reclaim energy, balance, and vibrant health, body, mind, and spirit. For years, weight loss has been presented as a simple equation: eat less, move more, and stay consistent. But what happens when you're doing all of those things and your body still isn't responding the way you expect? This is a question I hear frequently from patients who have tried diet after diet, increased their exercise, tracked their food, made significant lifestyle changes, and tried GLP-1 medications or other weight-loss prescriptions only to find themselves frustrated by minimal or short-lived results. The answer isn't always that you need more discipline. Sometimes, we need to look deeper. Your weight is influenced by more than calories Calories are certainly part of the weight-loss equation, but they aren't the only factor. Your body is constantly responding to blood sugar, insulin, hormones, thyroid function, nutrition, sleep, stress, appetite signals, and energy availability. When one or more of these systems aren't functioning optimally, losing weight can become more challenging. This doesn't mean that every person who struggles with weight has a hidden medical problem. It means that when traditional approaches aren't working, it's worth asking a different question: What could be getting in the way? Finding the roadblocks In my practice, I focus on understanding the individual rather than assuming the same weight-loss strategy will work for everyone. Potential metabolic roadblocks can include issues with blood sugar regulation, nutrient status, thyroid function, chronic stress, sleep, appetite regulation, and other factors. Sometimes several factors overlap. For example, poor sleep can affect energy and appetite. Chronic stress can influence eating patterns and recovery. Nutritional inadequacies can contribute to fatigue. Blood sugar dysregulation may influence hunger and cravings. When these factors are considered together, we can begin to develop a more complete picture. A different starting point This is the philosophy behind The Metabolic Blueprint at Sunshine Functional Healing. Rather than starting with another generic diet plan, the process begins with investigation. The goal is to combine relevant health information, laboratory data, and additional metabolic insights to identify potential barriers and create a personalized strategy. For patients who aren't sure where to begin, we've also created the Metabolic Reset, a comprehensive entry point designed to provide deeper insight into potential metabolic barriers. The Metabolic Reset includes comprehensive metabolic testing through DHA Labs, a 30-minute video results review, identification of potential metabolic barriers, and access to our Members Area. The current fall special is $299, regularly $400. If you continue into The Metabolic Blueprint, $200 of your Reset investment is credited toward the program. You don't have to keep guessing One of the most frustrating parts of weight loss is not knowing why something isn't working. If you've been told to "just eat less" or "exercise more," but you're still struggling, you may benefit from taking a closer look at the bigger picture. Weight loss isn't a test of how hard you can push yourself. It's an opportunity to understand your body and determine what it may need. Ready to take the first step? I've opened a limited number of FREE Weight Loss Consultations for individuals who want to discuss their weight-loss challenges and learn whether a personalized metabolic approach may be appropriate. During the consultation, we'll discuss your goals, concerns, and current challenges and determine what next steps may make sense for you. Use promo code STARTNOW when booking to receive your complimentary consultation. Book your free weight loss consultation here. You don't need another plan that tells you to simply try harder. You may need a better understanding of why your body isn't responding the way you want it to. Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Amy Read Amy Read, Board-certified Nurse Practitioner Amy Read, NP, is a board- certified Nurse Practitioner and the founder of Sunshine Functional Healing. With years of experience in integrative and functional medicine, Amy is passionate about uncovering the root causes of health concerns and empowering clients to achieve lasting wellness. She blends advanced clinical knowledge with a holistic, personalized approach, focusing on mind, body, and spirit. Amy is dedicated to patient education and believes in making complex health topics accessible and actionable. When she is not working with clients, she enjoys long walks, relaxing at the beach, spending time with friends and family, and inspiring others to take charge of their health journey. This article is for educational purposes only and does not replace individualized medical evaluation, diagnosis, or treatment.

Eric Elliott is a Legacy Architect and Purpose-to-Asset Strategist who helps accomplished professionals turn experience, expertise and relationships into greater freedom, purposeful income and lasting legacy through his Mindset, Tradeoff, Reset, Payoff framework. Eric Elliott, Purpose, Leverage & Legacy Strategist What led you to help accomplished professionals look beyond success and ask what their achievements can now create? For years, I thought success was about getting somewhere, get the education, get the job, get the promotion, make more money, take care of your family and build the résumé. Eventually, I had to ask a different question, “What is all of this achievement for?” That question changed everything. My parents gave me an unusual foundation for asking it. I was exposed to very different worlds growing up, different neighborhoods, socioeconomic environments, cultures and expectations. I learned early that circumstance doesn’t determine capacity. Today, I help accomplished professionals recognize that their careers, relationships, expertise, even their difficult seasons, may have been preparing them for something beyond the achievement itself. I’ve gone from crawl spaces to kingdom places, and I’ve learned not to despise the crawl spaces. Sometimes the place you desperately want to escape is developing the capacity you’ll need for the place you’re trying to reach. So I don’t simply ask, “What else can you accomplish?” I ask, “What can you create with what you’ve already accomplished?” That’s the move from achievement to assignment. How can someone recognize which parts of their experience, expertise, and relationships have the potential to become valuable assets? I tell people to stop looking at their résumé and start looking at their asset inventory. Your résumé tells you where you’ve been. Your asset inventory tells you what you’ve accumulated. Ask yourself, "What do people consistently come to me for? What problems have I learned to solve? What have I figured out that used to be difficult? Who trusts me because I’ve demonstrated something valuable? What have I learned through failure that could save someone else time, money or pain?" One of the biggest mistakes accomplished people make is undervaluing what has become easy for them. They say, “That’s just what I do.” Exactly. That’s why it’s valuable. I’ve learned to look at experience differently, "Experience to insight to framework to asset to legacy." A lesson learned can become a methodology. A methodology can become intellectual property. Intellectual property can become a book, workshop, coaching process, consulting offer or other asset. I also ask, “Who currently has the problem that your talent has already solved?” Sometimes the next asset isn’t something you need to acquire. It’s something you need to recognize. What does your Mindset, Tradeoff, Reset, Payoff framework reveal about why successful people sometimes remain stuck despite their achievements? Success can be deceptive because the behaviors that helped you succeed can eventually become the behaviors that keep you stuck. That’s why I developed Mindset, Tradeoff, Reset, Payoff. Mindset, "What am I believing about myself, money, work, time, success and what’s possible?" Tradeoff, "What am I giving up to maintain my current results?" That’s where the conversation gets interesting. The promotion may cost time. The salary may cost flexibility. Status may cost peace. Security may cost experimentation. Then comes the Reset, "What belief, behavior, decision or standard needs to change?" Finally, the Payoff, "What becomes possible when I operate from that new standard?" I often tell people, “Let’s examine time, money and income.” What are you earning? What is that income costing you? How much of your time actually belongs to you? Because you can be highly compensated and still be highly constrained. The goal isn’t to stop achieving. The goal is to stop allowing achievement to become a cage. Why can a strong salary and impressive career still leave someone with less freedom than they realize? Because income and freedom aren’t the same thing. I like to separate four things, "Money. Income. Time. Leverage." Money tells you what you’ve accumulated. Income tells you what your current activity produces. Time tells you what your life is actually costing. Leverage asks, “What can continue creating value without requiring the same amount of me?” I don’t tell people to hate their paycheck. I tell them to deploy it. Your paycheck can fund your payload. Your career can finance assets. Your expertise can become intellectual property. Your relationships can become strategic opportunities. Your knowledge can create value beyond the hour in which you deliver it. You don’t necessarily have to quit your job tomorrow. I tell people, “Create options before you create exits.” Because quitting your job because you discovered your purpose on Monday isn’t necessarily transformation. Sometimes that’s just unemployment with better branding. The objective isn’t simply to make more money. It’s to create enough options that your time can eventually belong to what matters most. What changes when someone starts viewing achievement as preparation for an assignment rather than the destination? Regret starts turning into resourcefulness. I’ve had people tell me, “I wasted ten years.” I challenge that. Maybe you didn’t waste ten years. Maybe you spent ten years becoming someone who can now do something you couldn’t have done ten years ago. I’ve learned that lesson personally through something as unlikely as crawling underneath houses. As a young man, I spent time in crawl spaces, dark, dusty places with ants, spiders and creatures I had absolutely no desire to meet. I remember thinking, “If this is what real estate is about, I’m out.” Years later, I understood the metaphor. The crawl space wasn’t punishment. It was preparation. The difficult season you’re desperate to escape may be developing capacity you’ll need for the next assignment. Your struggle can build strength. Your challenge can create capacity. Your frustration can become your future framework. So now I ask a different question, “What is this season preparing you to carry?” I’ve gone from crawl spaces to kingdom places. I've learned, "Don’t waste your crawl space." Where should a professional start if they want to create leverage from what they already know without immediately leaving their career? Start by solving a problem with what you already know. Don’t start by quitting. I learned that personally when I was laid off as a contractor. A layoff can make you question a lot very quickly. There’s the financial question, the identity question and the inevitable, “What’s next?” But I made a decision during that season. I was going to create something. I wrote a book. That experience taught me something foundational. A setback can interrupt your income without interrupting your assignment. The paycheck stopped. My experience didn’t. My knowledge didn’t. My capacity didn’t. My ability to create didn’t. That’s the principle behind paycheck to payload. Use the paycheck. Don’t worship the paycheck. Let today’s income help develop tomorrow’s assets. Start with one problem. Solve it for one person. Document what you learned. Package the process. Then ask whether the solution can become an asset. You don’t have to blow up your current life to begin building your next one. Create options before you create exits. How can someone tell when the standard they have been tolerating is limiting their income, time, or sense of purpose? Look for the things you’ve started calling normal that you once promised yourself were temporary. “I’ll deal with it later.” “Things will slow down.” “At least the money is good.” “This is just the season I’m in.” “I’ll have more time eventually.” Sometimes “eventually” is simply a very comfortable word for “not yet decided.” That’s why I tell people to examine time, money and income. How much time do you actually control? How much income are you producing, and from how many sources? What is that income costing you in energy, relationships, opportunity and peace? Then ask, “What standard have I accepted for myself that I would never recommend to someone I love?” We don’t always consciously choose our ceilings. We normalize them. Once we normalize something long enough, we stop questioning it. The reset begins when you ask, “This may have worked for who I was. But does it still serve who I’m becoming?” Sometimes the next level doesn’t require you to do more. It requires you to tolerate less of what is no longer worthy of your life. How have faith and your personal experiences shaped what legacy means to you beyond wealth or professional accomplishment? My faith has taught me that what I’ve been given isn’t simply mine to possess. It’s mine to steward. That changed my definition of legacy. I don’t believe legacy is simply the size of the estate you leave behind, the title you held or how many people knew your name. Legacy is what continues producing value through other people because you were willing to invest what was in your hands. That’s why I think about legacy like an endowment. An endowment isn’t designed simply to be consumed. It’s designed to keep producing. Your wisdom can produce. Your knowledge can produce. Your relationships can produce. Your methodology can produce. Your faith can produce. Your resources can produce. I’ve learned that what we build in people can outlive what we build for people. That’s why I don’t ultimately want my success measured by what people say about me. I want it measured by what continues because I was here. Not merely being remembered. Being perpetually useful. What is the most important question someone should ask when deciding what they want their success to ultimately accomplish? For me, it comes down to one question, “What do I want my success to make possible?” Because there’s always another mountain. Another title. Another dollar. Another credential. Another accomplishment. If success is the destination, you’ll never arrive. But if success is the vehicle, everything changes. Your income can create options. Your expertise can solve problems. Your relationships can open doors. Your experience can become intellectual property. Your influence can develop people. Your resources can create opportunities. Your faith can become an inheritance. Then achievement becomes preparation for somebody else’s possibility. So I don’t want people asking only, “How successful can I become?” I want them asking, “What could become possible because I became successful?” That question changes the operating system. Because maybe your success isn’t merely supposed to make your life better. Maybe it’s supposed to make somebody else’s life possible. That’s where achievement becomes assignment. Where experience becomes asset. Where paycheck becomes payload. Where success becomes stewardship. Where stewardship becomes legacy. I don’t believe we’re here merely to let life happen to us. We’re here to happen to life. When you understand that, the final question becomes, “What are you going to make possible?” Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Eric Elliott

Written by Nassim Ebrahimi, Developmental Psychologist, Mental Performance Coach, Author, and Speaker Coach Nassim Ebrahimi, PhD, is the founder of Becoming My Stronger Me, LLC. As a developmental psychologist, mental performance coach, podcaster, and author, she empowers athletes, coaches, and parents to unlock confidence, mental resilience, and peak performance through evidence-based strategies grounded in sport psychology and human development. We often talk about confidence, focus, emotional regulation, discipline, motivation, resilience, and the ability to perform under pressure as though they are separate skills. Someone struggles with confidence, so we work on confidence. Someone becomes overwhelmed by emotion, so we teach emotional regulation. Someone loses focus, so we introduce strategies for attention. Someone struggles to follow through consistently, so we address discipline or motivation. There is value in each of these approaches. Mental skills can be learned, practiced, and strengthened, and research on psychological skills training continues to support their role in performance and well-being. The problem is not that we are teaching the wrong skills. The problem is that we often teach them as though they operate independently. They do not. As a developmental psychologist and mental performance coach, I increasingly see mental performance as an interconnected system. Confidence influences how we interpret pressure. Emotion influences where attention goes. Identity influences how we experience mistakes. Belonging influences whether we feel safe enough to take risks. Discipline influences whether intentions become consistent behavior. The environments around us influence all of these processes. When we isolate one part of the system, we may help someone improve a skill without fully understanding what is affecting their ability to use it. Mental skills do not operate one at a time Consider an athlete preparing to take a penalty kick, a leader walking into an important presentation, or a student preparing for a difficult exam. Each might describe the problem the same way: “I need to be more confident.” But confidence rarely stands alone. Pressure, emotion, attention, identity, belonging, previous experience, expectations, and fear of judgment may all be operating at the same time. Trying to increase confidence without understanding those relationships can be like adjusting one part of a machine while ignoring everything connected to it. This is one reason mental performance can feel inconsistent. A strategy that works in one situation may feel inaccessible in another because the conditions surrounding the skill have changed. Confidence is connected to more than confidence In an earlier article, I explored why confidence often becomes unstable when it depends too heavily on outcomes. Albert Bandura’s research on self-efficacy helps explain why. Belief in our capability is shaped by mastery experiences, observation, feedback, and the way we interpret our physiological and emotional states. That means confidence is already connected to experience, interpretation, emotion, and environment. Consider a capable employee who has successfully led dozens of meetings. If the next meeting includes senior executives whose opinions could influence a promotion, the skill required to lead it has not changed. The meaning attached to the situation has. Attention may shift toward evaluation. Physical tension may become more noticeable. Internal dialogue may become more critical. The person may begin monitoring their own performance rather than engaging fully with the room. What looks like a confidence problem is actually the interaction of confidence, attention, emotion, identity, and pressure. Addressing only one piece may provide temporary relief. Understanding the interaction creates more possibilities for meaningful change. Emotion changes attention Emotion is another area we often treat as a separate category. We tell people to calm down, control their emotions, stay composed, or avoid becoming frustrated. Yet emotions are not simply interruptions to performance. They provide information about what matters, what feels threatening, what needs attention, and what the person believes is happening. Research on attentional control demonstrates that anxiety can influence how effectively attention is directed toward relevant information. Under pressure, people may become more distracted by threat-related cues, internal thoughts, physical sensations, or potential consequences. This means emotional regulation and attention cannot always be separated. A soccer player frustrated by a referee’s decision may technically know where attention should go next, but frustration keeps pulling attention backward. A leader who feels threatened during a difficult conversation may know the importance of listening, but their attention becomes occupied with defending their position. In each case, telling the person simply to “focus” misses what is competing for that focus. Sometimes improving attention requires understanding the emotion underneath it. Identity changes the meaning of pressure Identity adds another layer. When performance becomes closely connected to self-worth, pressure changes. A mistake is no longer simply a mistake. It can begin to feel like evidence that someone is not talented enough, intelligent enough, prepared enough, valuable enough, or deserving of the opportunity they have received. Research on stress appraisal helps explain why the same situation can be experienced very differently by different people. We continuously evaluate the demands in front of us and the resources we believe we have available to meet them. When the perceived consequences extend beyond the task itself and begin threatening identity, the demand becomes larger. This is why telling someone to “handle pressure better” may not be enough. We also need to understand what the pressure represents. If a leader believes every difficult decision is a referendum on whether they deserve their position, emotional regulation alone will not address the entire problem. The skill matters, but so does the meaning surrounding the skill. Belonging influences performance Belonging is sometimes treated as separate from performance altogether. It should not be. People are constantly receiving information about whether they are accepted, trusted, valued, and safe to participate fully in the environments around them. Self-determination theory identifies relatedness, alongside autonomy and competence, as a basic psychological need that supports higher-quality motivation. When belonging feels uncertain, attention and energy may shift toward social evaluation: Do I fit here? What happens if I make a mistake? Can I disagree? Do people trust me? These questions may never be spoken aloud, but they can influence behavior. An athlete who does not feel trusted may become hesitant. An employee who does not feel psychologically safe may stop contributing ideas. A leader who feels they must constantly prove their legitimacy may become overly controlling. Belonging is not simply about making people feel good. It influences what people are willing to attempt, reveal, risk, and learn. Discipline is easier to understand when we understand the system We also frequently interpret inconsistent behavior as a discipline problem. Sometimes it is, but sometimes what looks like a lack of discipline is the visible outcome of something happening elsewhere in the system. A person may avoid a difficult task because failure feels threatening to identity, procrastinate because uncertainty creates emotional discomfort, or disengage because they no longer experience connection or purpose in the environment. Simply demanding more discipline does not necessarily address any of those conditions. Discipline matters because development requires repeated action. Sustainable discipline is stronger when people understand what they are working toward, believe their actions matter, and develop the ability to continue through discomfort without interpreting every difficult experience as evidence that something is wrong. The problem with collecting strategies The mental performance field has given people an enormous number of useful tools. Breathing exercises, visualization, goal setting, self-talk, pre-performance routines, reflection, mindfulness, attention cues, and reset strategies can all be valuable. Research on psychological interventions in sport has found potential benefits from psychological skills training, mindfulness-based approaches, imagery, and other interventions, although the strength of the evidence varies across studies and methodologies. The challenge comes when mental performance becomes a collection of strategies rather than a process of development. Someone can know ten breathing techniques and still struggle to regulate when a mistake threatens their identity. Someone can create detailed goals and still struggle with motivation in an environment where they feel little ownership. Someone can repeat positive statements and still experience fragile confidence because there is little evidence underneath those statements. The goal should not simply be to accumulate more mental tools. The goal should be to understand what is happening, recognize which capacity the situation requires, and know how to respond intentionally. From mental skills to a mental performance operating system This shift has changed how I think about my own work. For years, I have taught many of the same evidence-based capacities that appear throughout sport psychology and human development: confidence, emotional regulation, motivation, attention, identity, discipline, resilience, and responding effectively under pressure. Over time, however, I became increasingly interested in the relationships between them. Why could someone demonstrate confidence in one environment and lose it in another? Why did stronger belonging sometimes change willingness to take risks? Why did some people know exactly what strategy to use but struggle to access it when they needed it most? Those questions led me toward a more integrated way of thinking about development and eventually toward what I call the BRIDGE™ Operating System. BRIDGE brings together six interconnected developmental capacities: Build belonging: People need environments and relationships that support connection, trust, and meaningful participation. Regulate emotions: People need the ability to recognize emotional information and respond intentionally rather than becoming controlled by the immediate state. Inspire identity: People benefit from understanding who they are beyond any single performance, role, result, or moment. Develop discipline: Growth requires the capacity to translate intentions and values into repeated action, particularly when motivation fluctuates. Grow under pressure: People need to learn how to direct attention, interpret stress, make decisions, and remain engaged when demands increase. Empower confidence: Confidence becomes more sustainable when it is built through evidence of skills, preparation, recovery, role clarity, and trust in one’s capacity to respond. These are not six boxes to complete. They interact. Belonging can influence confidence. Identity can influence pressure. Emotion can influence attention. Discipline can create evidence that strengthens confidence. Confidence can change how pressure is appraised. Pressure can test emotional regulation. The experience of moving through difficulty can reshape identity. The system is dynamic because people are dynamic. The same person can need something different tomorrow This is also why development is rarely linear. Someone may develop strong confidence and later encounter a new role that tests it. A leader may regulate emotions effectively in most professional situations and struggle when a conflict touches something personally meaningful. This does not mean the previous development disappeared. It means the system is responding to a new set of demands. In my previous article, I described development as more like a spiral than a straight line. We return to familiar challenges, but with new experiences and capacities. An integrated approach allows us to ask a better question when that happens. Instead of asking, “What is wrong with me?” or even “Which mental skill am I missing?” we can ask, “What is this situation requiring from me right now?” That question creates room for curiosity rather than judgment. What changes when we think in systems Thinking about mental performance as a system does not mean every challenge needs to become complicated. Often, the opposite is true. A systems perspective helps us become more precise. When someone struggles, we can look beyond the most obvious symptom: If confidence drops, what changed? If focus disappears, what is competing for attention? If motivation declines, what happened to ownership, competence, or connection? If emotion escalates, what information is that emotion providing? If discipline becomes inconsistent, what is making follow-through difficult? If pressure suddenly feels overwhelming, what does the situation now represent? These questions move us away from labeling people and toward understanding patterns. They also change the role of coaches, leaders, parents, educators, and anyone else responsible for helping another person develop. The goal is not to diagnose every struggle or solve every problem. It is to recognize that behavior rarely exists in isolation. Mental performance is human development Perhaps the most important shift is recognizing that mental performance is not only about performing better. It is about developing capacities that travel with us. Learning to regulate emotion matters during competition, but it also matters during conflict. Learning to direct attention matters during performance, but it also matters when listening to someone we care about. Developing confidence matters when pursuing an opportunity, but it also matters when recovering from disappointment. Separating identity from outcomes matters for athletes, but it also matters when careers change, relationships evolve, and roles eventually end. The contexts change, but the capacities remain relevant. This is why teaching mental skills in isolation can only take us so far. Human beings do not experience confidence on Monday, emotion on Tuesday, identity on Wednesday, and pressure on Thursday. These processes are continually interacting, and our approach to development should reflect that reality. Final thoughts Mental skills matter. Confidence matters. Emotional regulation matters. Identity matters. Discipline matters. Attention matters. Belonging matters. The ability to navigate pressure matters. But none of them operates alone. The next evolution in how we think about mental performance should not be finding another isolated strategy to add to the collection. It should be developing a better understanding of how the pieces interact. When someone struggles, the most useful question may not be, “Which skill do they lack?” It may be, “What is happening within the system?” That question changes how we understand performance. It changes how we coach, how we lead, and how we support development. Most importantly, it helps us see the person rather than only the problem we are trying to fix. Consider a challenge you are currently experiencing or helping someone else navigate. Instead of immediately identifying the skill that appears to be missing, look one layer deeper. What might confidence, emotion, identity, discipline, belonging, and pressure be communicating to one another? The answer may reveal that what appeared to be one isolated problem was never isolated at all. Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Nassim Ebrahimi Nassim Ebrahimi, Developmental Psychologist, Mental Performance Coach, Author, and Speaker Coach Nassim Ebrahimi, PhD, is the founder of Becoming My Stronger Me, LLC. As a developmental psychologist, mental performance coach, podcaster (Becoming My Stronger Me podcast), author (The Stronger Mind and Baller Goals), and speaker, she empowers athletes, coaches, and parents to unlock mental resilience and peak performance under pressure through evidence-based strategies grounded in sport psychology and human development. She holds a PhD in Developmental Psychology from The Pennsylvania State University. Through her work, she supports individuals and teams in developing the mental skills needed to thrive in sport and life. Her mission is to help people train their minds with the same intention they train their bodies. References: Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The exercise of control. W. H. Freeman. Bronfenbrenner, U. (1979). The ecology of human development: Experiments by nature and design. Harvard University Press. Deci, E. L., and Ryan, R. M. (2000). The “what” and “why” of goal pursuits: Human needs and the self-determination of behaviour. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227 to 268. Eysenck, M. W., Derakshan, N., Santos, R., and Calvo, M. G. (2007). Anxiety and cognitive performance: Attentional Control Theory. Emotion, 7(2), 336 to 353. Lazarus, R. S., and Folkman, S. (1984). Stress, appraisal, and coping. Springer Publishing Company. Birrer, D., and Morgan, G. (2010). Psychological skills training as a way to enhance an athlete’s performance in high-intensity sports. Scandinavian Journal of Medicine & Science in Sports, 20(Suppl. 2), 78 to 87. Röthlin, P., Horvath, S., Trösch, S., Holtforth, M. G., and Birrer, D. (2020). Differential and shared effects of psychological skills training and mindfulness training on performance-relevant psychological factors in sport: A randomized controlled trial. BMC Psychology, 8, 80. Wang, W., Schweickle, M. J., Arnold, E. R., and Vella, S. A. (2025). Psychological interventions to improve elite athlete mental wellbeing: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Sports Medicine, 55(4), 877 to 897.

Written by Adam Markel, Author & Wellness Expert Bestselling author, keynote speaker, workplace expert, and resilience researcher Adam Markel inspires leaders to master the challenges of massive disruption. His new book explores how leaders can adapt, build resilience, and thrive through times of change. Your values are on the wall. Your mission statement is framed in the lobby. Everyone sat through the town hall about the new culture initiative. So why does nothing feel different? Most organizations think culture changes when people hear a new message. But people don’t trust messaging anymore. They trust patterns. They trust repeated behavior. They trust what leaders consistently do when the pressure is on. That’s where most culture efforts fall apart. I’ve watched organizations pour massive amounts of energy into culture programs: workshops, retreats, posters, and carefully crafted communication plans. Then everyone goes back to work and realizes the gap between what was promised and what’s actually happening feels wider than before. People notice that gap immediately. They feel it in meetings. In decision-making. In who gets rewarded. In whether leaders actually listen or just perform listening. Here’s what I’ve learned: culture doesn’t change because you announce it. Culture changes because of what leaders repeatedly do in moments when nobody’s paying attention. The dissonance problem Words without behavior create something worse than no culture initiative at all. They create cynicism. I had a conversation with someone who joined an organization where leadership had rolled out five very clear values just a couple of years earlier. On paper, the values sounded solid. But when I asked employees what they actually experienced day to day, the story was completely different. The values didn’t match leadership behavior, and people always believe behavior over messaging. The daily decisions, the small reactions, the micro-moments where leaders reveal what actually matters that’s the real culture. Not the poster in the hallway. What damages trust isn’t the absence of values. It’s the contradiction. When there’s a gap between stated values and lived behavior, people eventually stop believing anything leadership says. Why inspiration doesn’t stick You can inspire people in a room. You can get them energized about a new direction. You can make them believe, for a moment, that things are going to change. Then Tuesday morning arrives. The systems are still the same. Decisions still happen the same way. The same behaviors still get rewarded. Whatever momentum existed starts evaporating almost immediately because real transformation doesn’t come from a speech. It comes from leaders showing up differently in ordinary moments. It’s how you respond when someone makes a mistake. It’s whether you actually listen when someone disagrees with you or whether you’re just waiting for your turn to talk. It’s whether accountability applies equally when the pressure rises. That’s the part people remember. Culture is built through repetition Culture is built through behavior repeated consistently enough that it becomes normal. It becomes, “This is how we do things here.” One vulnerable moment in a meeting won’t shift culture. But when a leader consistently shows vulnerability, admits uncertainty, shares mistakes, and creates room for others to do the same, something starts changing. People stop managing impressions quite so much. They start showing up more honestly. The same thing happens with collaboration. One decision that includes team input doesn’t prove collaboration matters. But when people repeatedly see their input shape outcomes, when ideas move across departments, and when credit gets shared consistently instead of hoarded, trust starts building. Trust changes behavior. The rituals matter more than most leaders realize. The daily huddles where someone actually asks how people are doing and waits for a real answer. The one-on-ones where the phone stays face down. The moments a leader admits they got something wrong. The times someone gets protected instead of blamed when things go sideways. Those moments feel small, but repeated over time, they become culture. Honestly, this is some of the hardest work leadership requires. Turning culture into practice If you want culture to actually shift, stop thinking about messaging first and start thinking about systems. What behaviors do you actually want to see? Get specific. Not “collaboration.” What does collaboration look like in practice? Does it mean teams proactively share information? Does it mean people solve problems together instead of protecting territory? Does it mean recognition gets shared instead of centralized around one person? Once you define the behaviors, look at your systems honestly. Do they reinforce those behaviors or work against them? If you say you value collaboration but your incentives reward internal competition, your system wins every time. If you say you value learning but punish mistakes, people stop taking risks. The real work is aligning three things: What you say matters. What you reward. What you tolerate. When those three align, culture starts shifting naturally. When they don’t, people see through it almost immediately. What leaders actually need to do The work starts with self-awareness. Not judgment. Data. Where are you modeling the behaviors you’re asking others to adopt? Where are you unintentionally reinforcing the opposite? Then comes consistency. Not perfection. Consistency. Showing up Tuesday the same way you showed up Monday. Following through. Owning mistakes when you miss the mark. Leaders also have to create real feedback loops. Not annual surveys everyone forgets about a week later, but real conversations where people can safely say what they’re actually experiencing. You have to protect these behaviors when it becomes inconvenient, especially then. That’s when people decide whether the culture is real or performative. The organizations where trust genuinely exists, where collaboration actually happens, and where people feel like they belong didn’t get there because leadership talked about culture well. They got there because leaders lived it consistently, one conversation at a time, one decision at a time, and one ordinary moment at a time. That’s how culture changes. "People don’t believe your culture because you describe it. They believe it because they experience it." Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Adam Markel Adam Markel, Author & Wellness Expert Bestselling author, keynote speaker, workplace expert, and resilience researcher Adam Markel inspires leaders to master the challenges of massive disruption in his new book, “Change Proof – Leveraging the Power of Uncertainty to Build Long-Term Resilience” (McGraw-Hill, Feb. 22, 2022). Adam is the author of the No. 1 Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Los Angeles Times, and Publishers Weekly bestseller, “Pivot: The Art & Science of Reinventing Your Career and Life.”

Written by Lilyan Fowler, M.S., LPC-Associate, NCC, Mental Health Counselor & Founder of Fowler Counseling Lilyan Fowler, M.S., LPC-Associate, NCC, is the founder of Fowler Counseling and offers accessible virtual therapy for marginalized communities across Texas. They are an affirming, trauma-informed therapist who supports and empowers clients through an attachment-based approach. Some losses are easy for the world to recognize. Others happen quietly: a friendship ends, a relationship changes, or someone who once felt at home becomes a stranger. We’re often encouraged to move on, forgive, or simply “be the bigger person,” but what happens to the grief and anger left behind? Sometimes the emotions we’re quickest to push away are the ones that help us understand what matters, what hurts, and what needs to change. The losses we’re expected to get over Not every loss comes with flowers, condolences, or permission to fall apart. Sometimes loss comes with the expectation to keep going and pretend as if nothing important has changed. Psychologist Pauline Boss introduced the concept of “ambiguous loss” to describe losses marked by uncertainty and a lack of clear resolution.[1] Some losses also fall within what grief researcher Kenneth Doka describes as disenfranchised grief, grief that is not openly acknowledged, socially validated, or publicly supported.[2] These losses can leave us without a clear ending or path forward. Grief is not confined by death, it can be the mourning of a lost opportunity, the life you thought you would have, divorce, or the end of a friendship. There is often no recognized grieving ritual or bereavement leave for these losses. More often than not, the expectation is to simply push through and act as if nothing has changed because “well, no one died, so the grief isn’t valid.” However, that could not be further from the truth. The pain doesn’t dissipate just because society doesn’t recognize the loss, and being expected to bury those feelings can deepen the isolation. Few losses make that lack of recognition clearer than losing someone who was once one of the first people you called. When friendship ends without a funeral There’s no formal farewell for a friendship that has quietly slipped into the background, and no time off to mourn the loss of a confidant who has become a stranger. We rarely have rituals to help us say goodbye to someone who is still living, yet whose presence in our lives has diminished. Many of us cling to the idea that friendships are meant to last a lifetime, believing that the connections we form in our youth will stand the test of time. However, it’s easy to forget that not all relationships are designed to endure, some are intended to enrich us for just a season. From an attachment perspective, meaningful relationships can become important sources of emotional safety and connection, which helps explain why disrupting or losing those bonds can evoke such powerful emotional responses.[3] Over time, the friend who once felt like family, someone we shared laughter, secrets, and experiences with, can slowly drift away until they feel like a distant memory. The transition is often subtle, marked by missed texts, unreturned calls, and a gradual shift in priorities. Before we realize it, that closeness has been replaced by an uncomfortable silence, leaving us wondering how someone who once knew so much about our lives became someone we barely know anymore. Friendship, like other relationships, can change over time, leaving us to navigate the emotions of loss without much acknowledgment of what has changed. Sometimes, we even allow friendships or relationships to continue long after we recognize they are no longer what they once were. Not necessarily because we cannot see that something has changed, but because we know letting go means grieving it. When someone has been woven into our routines, memories, milestones, and even the future we imagined, it can be difficult to picture what life looks like without them. So, we hold on. We may keep reaching for the relationship we remember, hoping we can somehow find our way back to the closeness we once shared. Sometimes, the familiar discomfort of staying feels easier to tolerate than the unfamiliar grief waiting on the other side of letting go. "It isn’t always that we don’t know the grass has died, sometimes we simply aren’t ready to grieve the ground we thought we would keep growing on." Whether the relationship ends slowly or all at once, there is rarely a roadmap for what comes next. Instead, we’re often handed something else: “Just be the bigger person.” “Just be the bigger person” Be understanding and cut them some slack. Don’t stoop to their level. Just forgive and let go. While we often offer guidance on behavior after being hurt, we rarely make space for the genuine feelings of that hurt. What would happen if we made space for those emotions instead? Often, we are expected to simply “get over” past hurts, but forgiveness can be part of finding peace and moving forward without requiring the relationship to remain the same. It also isn't something another person is automatically entitled to. Even when forgiveness is given, it doesn't guarantee the same level of access, trust, or closeness that existed before. Forgiveness does not necessarily require reconciliation or restoring a relationship to its previous level of closeness.[4] Healthy, sustainable relationships rely on good boundaries, and we must maintain those expectations for ourselves and for others. Being thoughtful about how we respond doesn't require minimizing what happened or rushing ourselves toward forgiveness. We can understand another person's perspective and still acknowledge: That hurt me, too. But feelings don’t disappear simply because we’ve behaved maturely, and sometimes what rises underneath all that understanding isn’t acceptance, it’s anger. When grief gets angry Anger can feel like an unwelcome guest in grief, especially when we’ve been taught that healing should eventually make us peaceful, forgiving, and unbothered. Grief doesn’t always look like sadness. Sometimes it looks like frustration, jealousy, or resentment, anger about what happened and what didn’t happen. Anger can be part of the grieving process, and although it may feel “wrong,” it is one rest stop on the road to healing. Emotion-focused approaches recognize that anger is not inherently maladaptive. In some circumstances, adaptive anger can help people identify violations, protect boundaries, and mobilize action.[5] Functional anger isn’t about lashing out, it’s anger that helps us recognize what hurts, what matters, and what needs to change. This often-taboo but powerful emotion can help us recognize crossed boundaries, unmet needs, or something we've tolerated for too long. Anger can create energy for change. Instead of asking, “How can I eliminate my anger?” consider, “What does my anger mean?” When “this hurts” evolves into “I don't want to keep living like this,” anger has done more than identify the pain. It has created movement toward healing. Making room for both Healing rarely asks us to choose between two perfectly clean truths. We can miss someone and not want them back. We can understand someone and still be hurt by them. We can forgive someone and still need a boundary. "A friendship can be beautiful and still need to end." Someone can have had reasons for their behavior, and their behavior can have hurt us. We can grieve what we lost and recognize that we don't want it back as it was. We can feel anger and eventually find acceptance. "Acceptance doesn't have to erase the emotions that helped us get there." Sometimes anger provides enough energy to have the conversation we've avoided, establish a boundary, ask for help, advocate for ourselves, change an old pattern, or finally acknowledge that we want something different. It isn't necessarily about running away from something difficult. Sometimes it's recognizing: This isn't working anymore. Allowing ourselves to wonder what might have been and what still could be. Moving toward something greener, however, doesn’t require pretending the old ground never mattered or deciding that everything that happened there was bad. We can honor what a relationship offered in one phase while acknowledging it might not fit in a new phase. We don't have to pretend nothing ever grew there to recognize when it's time to find new ground. Maybe moving forward isn’t about finally reaching the point where none of it bothers us anymore. Maybe it’s learning that grief, anger, understanding, and acceptance can all sit at the same table. Therapist insider As a therapist, I think we sometimes rush toward emotions that look like healing and overlook the ones that may actually be helping us get there. Peace. Acceptance. Forgiveness. Understanding. Those can all be meaningful parts of healing, but they aren't the only ones. Sometimes grief asks us to acknowledge that something mattered. Sometimes anger asks us to acknowledge that something hurt. Sometimes healing asks us to hold both without forcing ourselves to decide which feeling we're “supposed” to have. Perhaps healing isn’t measured by how unaffected we become, but by whether we can make room for what we feel and use that information to decide what comes next. Some losses won't receive the recognition they deserve. Some friendships will end without the goodbye or explanation we needed. Sometimes after being the bigger person for far too long, anger will finally make us realize that we matter in the story, too. Healing doesn't have to mean becoming unbothered by what happened. Sometimes it means grieving what mattered, acknowledging what hurt, and choosing something different. If some of these emotions feel familiar, you don’t have to sort through them alone. At Fowler Counseling, I offer a space to explore grief, relationships, anger, and the complicated emotions that don’t always fit neatly into “moving on.” Sometimes healing begins simply by giving ourselves permission to understand what we’re carrying. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Lilyan Fowler, M.S., LPC-Associate, NCC Lilyan Fowler, M.S., LPC-Associate, NCC, Mental Health Counselor & Founder of Fowler Counseling Lilyan Fowler, M.S., LPC-Associate, NCC, is the founder of Fowler Counseling, offering accessible virtual therapy across Texas. As a queer, neurodivergent, and disabled therapist, they bring lived experience, empathy, and cultural humility to their work with marginalized communities. Grounded in trauma-informed care and attachment science, Lilyan helps clients build resilience, reconnect with their authentic selves, and define their own vision of personal success. They are dedicated to supporting clients in fostering and maintaining healthy relationships with themselves and others. Through their work, Lilyan strives to make mental health more approachable and inclusive for all. References: [1] Boss, P. (1999). Ambiguous loss: Learning to live with unresolved grief. Harvard University Press. [2] Doka, K. J. (Ed.). (1989). Disenfranchised grief: Recognizing hidden sorrow. Lexington Books. [3] Johnson, S. M. (2019). Attachment theory in practice: Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) with individuals, couples, and families. The Guilford Press. [4] Enright, R. D., & Fitzgibbons, R. P. (2015). Forgiveness therapy: An empirical guide for resolving anger and restoring hope. American Psychological Association. [5] Greenberg, L. S. (2015). Emotion-focused therapy: Coaching clients to work through their feelings (2nd ed.). American Psychological Association.

Written by Paula Andrade, Founder & Marketing Director of El Brand Paula Andrade is the founder of El Brand, a cross-border marketing agency in Singapore. A marketing strategist and storyteller, she is known for connecting brands, building meaningful collaborations, and starting The Curious Circle, a curated event series for founders, creatives, curious minds, and decision-makers. There is a certain look spreading across restaurant and café marketing. Glossy food. Golden lighting. Floating ingredients. Suspiciously perfect people. Brush script fonts. Artificial Intelligence (AI) helps restaurants produce marketing faster and with smaller budgets. The problem starts when every restaurant gives AI similar instructions and ends up looking strangely similar. Why do AI restaurant ads all look the same? You have seen them. An impossibly glossy burger. Pasta surrounded by herbs floating in mid-air. Coffee beans dramatically scattered around a latte. Then there are the people. Perfectly symmetrical faces. Glossy, almost wood-like skin. Eyes that seem fine until you look at them for a few seconds longer. Somewhere, there is often a brush script font saying: “Indulge.” “Cravings.” “Made with love.” This is no longer limited to social media. I see the same style on menus, posters, table displays, and full-sized standees outside restaurants. My issue is not AI. My issue is what happens when AI’s defaults become your brand. The problem is not AI, it is the prompt I understand why restaurants use AI. Owners are dealing with staff, suppliers, rent, food costs, reservations, deliveries, and customers. Then someone remembers the lunch promotion starts tomorrow. Not every business has the budget for a photographer, designer, and copywriter for every campaign. So yes, use AI. But do not type: “Create a promotional poster for our restaurant.” and accept the first result. AI knows almost nothing about your business from that instruction. So it fills the gaps with familiar patterns. Glossy food. Dramatic lighting. Generic copy. Perfect faces. Brush fonts. The less context you provide, the more AI’s defaults shape the work. Give AI your brand before giving it a task Instead of: “Create an ad for our new pasta.” Try: “We are a casual neighbourhood Italian restaurant. Our brand feels warm, contemporary, and unpretentious. We are promoting our handmade truffle mushroom tagliatelle. Focus on comfort and craftsmanship, not luxury.” Then tell AI what to avoid: “Avoid brush script fonts, floating ingredients, dramatic golden lighting, overly symmetrical faces, plastic-looking skin, and generic restaurant imagery.” Do the same with copy: “Avoid words such as ‘indulge’, ‘irresistible’, ‘mouthwatering’, and ‘culinary journey’. Keep the language simple and conversational.” AI needs a brief. Think of it like a new person joining your marketing team. You would not say “make a poster” and expect them to understand your entire brand. Ask for ideas before asking for a poster This is one of the easiest ways to get better AI content. Do not start with: “Make the poster.” Ask: “Give me five campaign ideas for this dish. Each should have a different concept, not simply a different headline.” Perhaps one focuses on handmade pasta. Another on rainy-day comfort food. Another on date night. Another on the chef. Another on an after-work dinner ritual. Pick the idea first. Then develop the visual. AI should help you explore options. It should not make every decision for you. Use your real food whenever possible Your slightly uneven croissant matters. So does the old wooden table beside the window, the plate your chef chose, and the condensation running down an iced coffee. The way your restaurant looks when dinner service starts is also part of your brand. Instead of generating an entirely fictional dish, start with real photography where possible. Use AI to explore campaign directions, layouts, backgrounds, headlines, or ways to extend existing content. A slightly imperfect photo of something real often says more about a brand than a flawless image of something that never existed. Make AI critique its own work Once you have something decent, do not stop there. Ask: “Review this as a Food and Beverage (F&B) brand strategist. What feels generic, clichéd, or inconsistent with our brand? What makes this look like typical AI-generated restaurant advertising?” Then try: “You are a customer walking past this poster. You have three seconds. What do you notice first? What do you think we are selling? What feels believable, and what feels generic?” AI does not only need to generate. It is also useful for critique. Create one AI brand brief for your team If you use AI regularly, create a reusable brand brief. Include: Who you are. Who your customers are. How your brand sounds. Words you use and avoid. Your visual style. Visual clichés you do not want. What makes your products different. Examples of content that feels like your brand. Use this as context before asking AI to create marketing material. Your team now starts from the same brand direction instead of prompting from scratch every time. Before you print it, remove the logo Here is my favourite test. Remove your logo from the ad. Then ask: “Would someone who knows our restaurant still recognise this as ours?” Look at the photography, the typography, the words, the mood, and the idea. If the only recognisable part was the logo in the corner, you do not have a strong brand ad yet. You have a generic AI ad with your logo on it. AI gives smaller businesses access to creative resources they might not have had before. That is useful. But access to the same tools does not mean we all need to produce the same work. AI brings speed. Your team still needs to bring context, judgment, personality, and taste. So yes, use AI. But please. We have enough brush script fonts. Is your brand starting to look like everyone else? At El Brand, we help businesses turn what makes them distinct into clearer branding, content, and marketing, including practical ways to work with AI without losing the human character of the brand. If your marketing is starting to feel generic, look beyond the tool. Look at the direction you are giving it. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Paula Andrade Paula Andrade, Founder & Marketing Director of El Brand Paula Andrade is a marketing strategist, storyteller, and founder of El Brand, a cross-border marketing agency in Singapore. She writes about brand stories, marketing trends, cross-border marketing experiences, collaboration, and the people behind brands. Through her work, she explores how businesses grow with clearer narratives, stronger market understanding, and more meaningful connections. She is also the founder of The Curious Circle, a curated event series gathering founders, creatives, curious minds, and decision-makers.

Written by Christopher A. Smith, Author & Digital Safety Advocate Christopher Smith is an award-winning author and entrepreneur dedicated to protecting people from cybercrime. After being the target of a major cyberattack, he founded DFend, a digital safety platform, and wrote Privacy Pandemic, inspired by his real-life story. Every major era of computing has changed what machines help us do. The internet helped us find information, while mobile let us reach services from anywhere. Now artificial intelligence is beginning to help us make decisions. But Artificial Intelligence (AI) cannot make trustworthy decisions on its own. It needs something underneath it. For most of the digital era, infrastructure has been built to answer three questions: Who are you? Can you pay? Can the transaction be completed? Identity systems, payment rails, and checkout flows exist to resolve those three questions, and for a long time, they were enough. They are no longer enough. As AI begins to act rather than assist, as fraud grows more sophisticated, and as commerce becomes autonomous, a fourth question is surfacing: should this decision happen at all? Answering it requires something we don't yet have in one place. Not another app or another identity check, but a new layer where identity, behavior, permissions, trust, and intelligence work together. I believe we are watching that layer emerge, and I've come to call it decision infrastructure. What is decision infrastructure? Decision infrastructure is the trust layer that lets people and AI make secure, context-aware decisions, the connective tissue binding identity, behavior, permissions, commerce, and intelligence into trusted action. Infrastructure transitions are often named for their first visible product rather than the underlying change. Electricity wasn't about light bulbs. The internet wasn't about websites. The cloud wasn't about servers. Decision infrastructure is similar. It is not another application. It is the fabric beneath digital decisions: who you are, what you intend, what you are permitted to do, and whether an action can be trusted. Why now? Three independent shifts are converging. Identity is becoming continuous rather than static. AI is beginning to act rather than merely assist. Commerce is becoming contextual rather than transactional. The ground underneath fraud is shifting in the same direction. Visa's Spring 2026 threat research found that as payment networks harden at the technical level, criminals are shifting their efforts away from breaking systems and toward exploiting human trust, using AI to manufacture urgency and manipulate people into authorizing payments themselves. Visa identified nearly $1 billion in scam activity in just the second half of 2025, making scams the single largest category of consumer payment fraud. When the attack surface moves from technology to trust, the defense has to move there too. Any one of these trends would matter on its own. Together, they are beginning to break the old model. Continuous identity, autonomous action, contextual commerce, and trust-based fraud cannot be served by separate systems that don't talk to each other. They require a common layer where it all resolves at once. That is why the idea appears to be arriving now. Wallets are where it first becomes visible If decision infrastructure is the invention, the digital wallet is its first proof of concept, not because wallets are the destination, but because they are the first place these once separate systems naturally converge. Identity, payments, credentials, memberships, behavioral signals, and increasingly AI assistants are all beginning to sit inside one authenticated environment. That convergence is why the wallet stops behaving like a container for cards and tickets and starts behaving like context. Working with a company building digital wallet infrastructure changed my perspective. I assumed the opportunity was how brands reach people inside wallets. The more interesting question became why identity, commerce, behavior, AI, and permissions were converging there at all. The wallet wasn't the opportunity. The emerging infrastructure beneath it was. The same convergence is already appearing across banking, government, healthcare, and enterprise systems. Visa's BioCatch deal is validation, not just fraud news The clearest recent signal came from payments. On August 3, 2026, Visa agreed to acquire the behavioral intelligence firm BioCatch for $2.4 billion in cash, a deal independently reported as part of a broader race among payment companies to expand beyond transaction processing into behavioral fraud defense. Read narrowly, it is another fraud acquisition. Read structurally, it validates where the digital trust signal appears to be heading. BioCatch continuously analyzes thousands of behavioral and device signals, including how someone types, holds a phone, or moves a mouse, to assess intent and detect signs of coercion before a payment is submitted. Visa's stated aim is to stop fraud upstream, before the transaction occurs. That is the shift in miniature. For decades, the decisive question was, who are you? This was a matter of identity. Increasingly, the decisive question is, is this consistent with legitimate intent? This is a matter of behavior. Identity confirms a name. Behavior explains an action. Together, they produce trust, and trust is the raw material of every decision. There is a larger implication worth naming. Visa historically existed to move money. What it is increasingly building is the capacity to judge whether money should move at all. That is a different kind of business, closer to an intelligence network than a payment network, and it is what a decision infrastructure layer looks like when a major incumbent begins assembling one. Why AI agents make this unavoidable Agentic AI makes this framework more urgent. Autonomous systems must understand identity, permissions, payment authority, trust, and context before acting. Anthropic has called agents a new frontier for governance, noting that with less oversight, they can misread user intent and take unintended actions. The implication is that trust depends less on the model itself than on the environment built around it. Over the past two decades, we've built separate systems for identity, payments, fraud, permissions, AI, and commerce, connected manually by humans. AI agents cannot do that. An agent needs those layers to behave as one coordinated environment rather than as disconnected products. Decision infrastructure becomes the layer that connects them. This is why, in describing the BioCatch deal, Visa framed AI, authentication, identity, and fraud prevention as increasingly interconnected, and why BioCatch already counts AI agent activity among the signals it monitors. Where this goes next The internet organized information. Search organized knowledge. Social organized attention. Mobile organized access. Cloud organized computation. AI will organize intelligence. Decision infrastructure may organize trust. Decision infrastructure won't replace identity, payments, or AI. It will connect them. Whether it emerges through digital wallets, banking platforms, government services, healthcare, or AI operating systems, it may become one of the defining infrastructure layers of the AI era. The wallet is simply where we can see it first. The leaders who start asking now where their customers' trusted decisions will happen, and who is accountable for securing them, will be better prepared as the market comes to see that the question may never have been about wallets at all. Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Christopher A. Smith Christopher A. Smith, Author & Digital Safety Advocate Christopher Smith is the award-winning author of Privacy Pandemic and the founder of DFend, a digital safety platform built to protect people from cybercrime. After being the target of a major cyberattack, he transformed his story of loss into one of purpose, turning a personal crisis into a global mission. His experience inspired him to develop technology that helps individuals safeguard their identity and privacy in the age of AI. Through his work and writing, Chris advocates for greater awareness, protection, and resilience online. He believes the future of digital safety is personal, because the threat already is. References: Visa Investor Relations, Visa to Acquire BioCatch CNBC, Visa Buys BioCatch for $2.4 Billion to Fight AI-Powered Fraud Visa Investor Relations, Spring 2026 Biannual Threats Report Anthropic, Trustworthy Agents in Practice

Written by Fanny Elizaga, Certified Trauma-Centered Neuro-Coach and SD Transformational Coach Fanny Elizaga is an occupational therapist, mindfulness practitioner and trainer, Reiki Master Practitioner, and certified Qi-Gong instructor. Over the years, she has embraced her passion for learning, applying, and teaching holistic approaches to mind-body healing in both her personal and professional life. Have you ever agreed to something you really didn’t have the time or energy to do? Maybe someone asked you for a favor, invited you to an event, or needed your help with a project. Before you had time to think, you heard yourself say, “Of course.” You wanted to help. You didn’t want to disappoint anyone or seem unkind, difficult, or selfish. So you said yes, even though every part of you was quietly whispering, “I need a break.” At first, saying yes may have felt like the caring thing to do. But later, you may have noticed the cost. Perhaps you felt tired, overwhelmed, or irritated. Maybe you found yourself rushing through something you didn’t have the energy to do. Or perhaps you felt frustrated with the other person, even though you were the one who agreed. Many of us were taught that being a good person means being available, helpful, and accommodating. We may have learned to notice what everyone else needs before asking what we need. Over time, saying yes can become automatic. We respond before we have checked in with ourselves. Many of us also think of boundaries as walls that push people away. We imagine that setting a boundary means being cold, rigid, or uncaring. In reality, healthy boundaries do something very different. They protect our energy, time, well-being, and nervous system. They help us stay connected to others without losing our connection to ourselves. A healthy boundary might sound like: “I’d like to help, but I don’t have the time today.” “I need a little time to think about that.” “I’m not available, but I hope you find the support you need.” “I can help for 30 minutes, but I can’t take on the whole project.” These responses are not unkind. They are clear, honest, and respectful. They let the other person know what you can genuinely offer without asking you to abandon your own needs. Every time we ignore our limits to meet someone else’s expectations, our body notices. Stress begins to build. Our muscles may tighten. Our breathing may become shallow. We may feel pressure in our chest, discomfort in our stomach, or a sense of heaviness and exhaustion. Our thoughts may race as we try to figure out how we will fit one more responsibility into an already full day. When this happens repeatedly, resentment can grow. We may begin to feel unappreciated or taken for granted. We might blame others for asking too much, even though we haven’t clearly communicated our limits. This doesn’t mean we should blame ourselves. It means we can begin to notice the pattern with curiosity and compassion. Boundaries are a form of communication. Other people cannot always know when we are tired, overwhelmed, or stretched too thin. When we communicate our limits clearly, we give them the opportunity to understand us and respond. The truth is, boundaries aren’t selfish. They are one of the ways we take care of ourselves. When we take care of ourselves, we often have more patience, warmth, and energy to share with others. When we honor our limits, we send our nervous system an important message: “I matter, too.” That message can be especially powerful if you have spent years putting yourself last. At first, setting a boundary may feel uncomfortable. You may feel guilty, anxious, or worried about how someone will respond. That discomfort doesn’t necessarily mean you are doing something wrong. It may simply mean you are doing something new. Your brain often prefers familiar patterns, even when those patterns are stressful. If you are accustomed to saying yes immediately, pausing may feel awkward. If you are used to keeping everyone happy, someone else’s disappointment may feel like danger. But disappointment is not the same as harm. Someone can be disappointed by your answer and still respect you. You can care about their feelings without making yourself responsible for changing those feelings. You can be warm, compassionate, and firm at the same time. A boundary does not have to be harsh. It can be gentle. It can be a pause. It can be a request for more time. It can be a smaller yes instead of an automatic yes to everything. It can be saying, “I care about you, and I’m not able to do that right now.” Boundaries are not about saying no to everything. They are about becoming more intentional with your yes. When you say yes from a place of genuine willingness, that yes feels different. You can show up with more energy and less resentment. You are helping because you choose to, not because you feel pressured, guilty, or afraid. Learning to set boundaries begins with awareness. Before you can communicate a limit, you need to notice it. Your body may recognize the need for a boundary before your thinking mind does. You may feel tension, hesitation, fatigue, or a quiet inner “no.” These signals are not inconveniences to push aside. They are useful information. Try asking yourself: “Do I have the time and energy for this?” “Am I agreeing because I want to, or because I’m afraid to disappoint someone?” “What would I need in order for this to feel manageable?” “What can I honestly offer?” You don’t have to answer immediately. A simple sentence such as, “Let me check my schedule and get back to you,” creates space between the request and your response. That small pause can help you move out of an automatic pattern and make a more thoughtful choice. NeuroTip: The next time someone asks something of you, pause before answering. Take one slow breath. Notice what is happening in your body. Are you relaxed and open? Or do you feel tight, heavy, pressured, or tired? Instead of asking: “Will they be disappointed?” Ask yourself: “What choice will allow me to care for both of us?” Perhaps the answer will be yes. Perhaps it will be no. Or perhaps it will be a smaller, more realistic offer. Healthy boundaries aren’t about choosing yourself instead of others. They are about including yourself in the equation. When you remember that your energy, time, and well-being matter too, boundaries become more than limits. They become a way to create greater honesty, trust, and respect, both for yourself and for the people you care about. If this article resonated with you, you’ll find more brain-based insights and practical strategies for living with greater calm, clarity, and self-understanding in my new ebook, Living Mindfully with Neurodiversity: Brain-Based Strategies to Reduce Stress, Build Confidence, and Practice Self-Care. Click here to download my free ebook. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Fanny Elizaga Fanny Elizaga, Certified Trauma-Centered Neuro-Coach and SD Transformational Coach Fanny Elizaga is an occupational therapist, certified Neuro-Coach, and trauma-informed mindfulness trainer. Over the years, she has embraced her passion for learning and applying holistic modalities for mind-body healing in her personal and professional life. Fanny is also a Reiki master practitioner and certified instructor in the art of Qi-Gong. Fanny inspires, empowers, and educates her clients by teaching brain-enhancing tools for self-improvement, expanding out of their comfort zone, and thriving. Fanny is an occupational therapist, mindfulness practitioner and trainer, and the founder of Neuro-Wellness Academy. She is passionate about transforming lives by teaching practical brain science for greater wellness, resilience, and personal transformation. Sources: Khalsa, S. S., et al. (2018). Interoception and mental health: A roadmap. Biological Psychiatry: Cognitive Neuroscience and Neuroimaging, 3(6), 501-513.

Written by Bradley Abbott, Personal Coach Bradley Abbott is known for his holistic approach to personal coaching, merging fitness training with nutritional therapeutics. Author of the e-books A How-to Guide in Developing Functional Strength, Power and Adaptability, and The Cussing Coach, both published in 2024. This article explores how the convenience and addictive appeal of pastries and other processed foods can quietly affect our health and wellbeing. It also offers practical ways to break unhealthy food habits, regain control, and make more conscious choices for yourself and your family. Pulmonary pastries The food industry has been around for many, many years. With McDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC), and Greggs continuing to grow their respective vast empires, they have created mass convenience globally. We don’t have to worry about breakfast because they cook it, prepare it, and serve it to us faster than we can at home. Indeed, we have a seemingly endless supply of pastries, sausage rolls, pizza slices, muffins, and doughnuts at our disposal. Yet these conveniently prepared, cheap pastries are damaging our health at an increasing rate because the dopamine rush from their taste keeps us coming back for more! It takes a lot of self-awareness and even more willpower to say ‘NO’ and never go back. It also takes a little education. No time? No problem! Convenience has “calmed our nerves” because we don’t have to worry about the timer in the cooker. We don’t have to worry about how we’re going to “fit it all in” and somehow get the kids ready for school. Greggs and Cooplands have already prepped hundreds of pastries for our busy morning, so all we need to do is ‘Pay ‘n’ Go’. How great is this?! Infinitely finite All this convenience has left us with time on our hands. Time to scroll on our phones, time to get the kids ready for school, time to check our emails, and time to get our own important errands completed. However, this convenience comes at a cost. The cost is our health! With the seemingly infinite number of pastries produced by factory workers and robots alike, the finite cap they place on our health and wellbeing becomes devastating. It is known to one degree or another that puff pastries have a very negative effect on people’s breathing and lung capacity. They limit your ability to take in and utilise oxygen, which is necessary to produce energy for work and exercise. Consuming large amounts of pastries over a few months affects your circulatory system because your respiratory, cardiovascular, and circulatory systems are intricately linked. In layman’s terms, your blood, heart, and lungs are all connected, and what affects one inevitably affects the other. The damage happens inside your body before you see it on the outside. When the damage from these foods manifests, it shows up in the form of asthma, bronchitis, cardiovascular disease, obesity, arrhythmia, and other self-inflicted diseases. Ask yourself, is it really worth the dopamine rush? Dangerous doughnuts Just like other pastries that are “dangerously delicious”, doughnuts are one of those that I used to indulge in. For me, it was the caramel doughnuts with the gooey centre that was glazed with chocolate. As satisfying as it was in the moment, it was causing me problems beneath the surface. Doughnuts have an extra “layer” of harmful substances that cause issues. This “layer” is the amount of sugar within them and the syrup that goes into some of these doughnuts. If consumed regularly enough, the amount of sugar in one of these doughnuts alone is enough to increase your risk of type 2 diabetes! Three ways to de-flake your attachment 1. Reflect on why you feel the need to indulge in this type of behaviour in the first place. Ask yourself: Am I happy when I look in the mirror? Does this behaviour align with the idea I have of myself? Am I setting a good example for my kids? Does this damage my self-esteem and confidence? If I were to stop this behaviour, could I ask for support? Who would I ask? 2. Think about all the money you would save in a year if you stopped purchasing these harmful products. What’s your dream holiday? What could you buy instead? Could you treat yourself or a family member to a day out with that kind of money? How much could you really save? 3. Replace the food in your cupboard. Usually, people who indulge in pastries, or buy them once a week, will have similar foods in their cupboards. The dopamine rush they can’t seem to get rid of. So, replace the food in your cupboards and take control! Are you really going to let foods control your behaviour, or are you going to flip the script? Final thoughts Do not let the food industry take control of your life, of who you are, or who you want to be. You have support around you. Use that support and build up the courage to ask, even if you’re not used to it, even if you’re independent and like to do things yourself. We all need the support sometimes. Take control of your life! Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Bradley Abbott Bradley Abbott, Personal Coach Bradley Abbott is a personal coach and author. Known for his holistic approach to training, merging naturopathic principles with fitness training, he has managed to reverse his clients' symptoms almost completely and raise their energy to heights they never thought possible. He is the founder of Phoenix Phorm Online and uses these platforms to educate and inspire a larger audience.