The Invisible Identity Crisis of Motherhood
Updated: Sep 20
Written by Isabel Theissen, Founder of &BEYOND
Isabel Theissen is the founder of &BEYOND, the maternity transition consultancy. She supports organizations in creating more structured and sustainable maternity transitions, while guiding women through the personal and professional shifts that accompany motherhood.
Motherhood is one of the most life-changing transformations a woman can experience. It reshapes not only daily life, but also how you see yourself and the world around you. At its core, it is an invitation to rediscover who you truly are and to let go of what no longer aligns.
In many ways, this mirrors the collective energy we are currently moving through, a transition from the Year of the Snake, symbolic of shedding old skins, identities, and patterns, into the Year of the Horse, an energy of momentum, courage, and new beginnings. Just as the snake sheds what no longer fits, motherhood asks you to release outdated versions of yourself. And like the horse, it propels you forward into a new chapter with renewed drive and purpose.
This transition is powerful yet often challenging. What many women don’t realize is that the discomfort they feel is not a sign they are doing something wrong, it is a sign of coming closer to themselves.
Motherhood shifts everything: Your priorities, your lifestyle, your sense of self
During motherhood, especially when returning to work or standing at a professional crossroads, many women experience a quiet but profound inner conflict.
Your responsibilities as a leader or professional may remain unchanged, yet your inner world has shifted. You now carry additional responsibilities at home, alongside deeper emotional awareness and evolving priorities. You’ve always been ambitious and independent. Now, you are also a loving and present mother. Somewhere in between, it can feel unclear what truly matters to you and how you now define yourself.
One of my clients experienced this tension between leadership and motherhood firsthand. “I always felt like I was missing something, both in my career and as a mother. When I quit my job, I felt guilty. And when spending more time with my children didn’t bring the fulfillment I expected, I felt even more confused.”
Through exploring her new identity as a mother and acknowledging that leadership is an essential part of who she is, she felt deeply reconnected with herself. When she later stepped into a new corporate role, she confidently negotiated conditions that allowed her to be both an ambitious leader and a present mother, without guilt.
“Now, I make decisions with confidence because they align with my true self. Isabel created a safe space for this self-discovery, and I’m incredibly grateful for her guidance.”
If you’ve felt lost in motherhood, know that you are not alone. As Osho said:
“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother never. A mother is something absolutely new.”
Discovering this new version of yourself takes time. It can feel confusing and even unsettling, as though reconnecting with who you are now means leaving parts of your old self behind. But this phase of motherhood is not a breakdown, it is a shedding that makes space for who you are becoming.
Through this process, many women uncover strengths they didn’t know they had and reconnect with dreams once placed on hold. Motherhood brings you face-to-face with your deepest power: your resilience, your intuition, and your ability to consciously create a life aligned with who you are today.
Becoming who you are now
Motherhood is a powerful reminder that you deserve a life filled with happiness, love, and fulfillment, not only as a mother but as a human being.
It invites you to pause and reflect on how you truly want to live and lead your life. This is about intentional choice, deciding what you want to carry forward and what needs to be released.
Ask yourself:
What no longer fits the woman I am today?
What lights me up, even if it feels unfamiliar or new?
When you let go of what no longer aligns and consciously step into this new version of yourself, something shifts. You feel more connected to your authentic self. You begin prioritizing what truly matters. Your relationships deepen as you show up more present and whole. And professionally, you gain clarity and confidence, leading to more sustainable and aligned success.
This is how motherhood becomes a path back home to yourself and the beginning of your most fulfilling chapter yet.
A gentle check-in: Where do you stand right now?
If you’re feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, or uncertain about your next step, awareness is a powerful place to begin. Because awareness creates choice and choice creates change.
Checking in with your (well-)being can reveal where you may be out of balance and where small, intentional shifts can help you feel like yourself again.
Your (well-)being is multidimensional. It’s not only shaped by your physical well-being, but also by your mental, emotional, and spiritual state. You may long to feel more energized, less mentally burdened, more emotionally connected, or more fulfilled in your work.
This holistic (well-)being assessment can help you identify where you might need support. Based on your results, you’ll also receive a complimentary Refill Your Cup guide, designed to help you release what drains you and reconnect with what truly nourishes you.
When you’re in a phase of transition
If you’re returning to work, have recently left a role, or are considering a more aligned professional path, this transition doesn’t have to be navigated alone.
I support women at this exact intersection, where motherhood meets leadership, ambition meets new priorities, and identity is being redefined. As an accredited motherhood and leadership coach, I help women restore their (well-)being holistically so they can feel like their best selves again, both personally and professionally.
If you feel called to explore what this next chapter could look like for you, I invite you to connect. Sometimes, one intentional conversation is all it takes to move forward with clarity.
Motherhood doesn’t ask you to become someone else, it invites you to become more of who you truly are. If you’re ready to explore that transformation with intention, support, and clarity, I invite you to begin the conversation.
Read more from Isabel Theissen
Isabel Theissen, Founder of &BEYOND
Isabel Theissen is the founder of &BEYOND, the maternity transition consultancy. She supports organizations in creating more structured and sustainable maternity transitions, while guiding women through the personal and professional shifts that accompany motherhood. Her approach combines professional expertise, research, and lived experience of navigating motherhood alongside a corporate career, giving her a grounded understanding of the realities of this transition. Isabel challenges the idea of a simple “bounce back” after maternity leave, instead defining the return as a leadership transition that requires structured processes and intentional support. Through &BEYOND, she helps organizations move from well-intentioned policy to meaningful implementation, supporting talent retention, strengthening leadership pipelines, and creating more inclusive, sustainable ways of working..
