Written by Halima Seemba, Fashion Design Consultant Halima Seemba is a multifaceted professional, serving as a Fashion Design Consultant & Textile Digital Surface Printing Expert, Brand & Visual Communication Consultant, and Certified Global Trainer. Additionally, she excels as the Co-Founder and Marketing Manager of PURPLE BUBBLES Cosmetics and Perfumes. With the passing of Valentino Garavani, the fashion industry does not lose only a world-renowned designer. It loses one of the last true founders of the classical school of elegance that shaped global fashion for decades. Photo Source: Alberto Pizzoli/AFP/Getty Images Valentino was never just a name in haute couture. He was a design authority, built on a clear philosophy. Elegance is not noise. Femininity is not performance. Beauty is not seasonal. From the founding of the Valentino House, he established an independent aesthetic school based on: Precise architectural construction of the design Balanced, refined silhouettes Strong visual identity Sophisticated detailing without excess Deep respect for the human form in fashion He transformed color into identity, turning red into a global signature, not merely a stylistic choice. Valentino Red became a registered visual language, a symbol of power, refinement, quiet confidence, and timeless femininity. Valentino as a design school What distinguished Valentino from many of his contemporaries was that he did not build his legacy on trends. He built a long-term aesthetic system. He did not treat fashion as fast consumption, but as visual culture and human identity. In the same way Armani established the language of refined minimalism and quiet authority, Valentino constructed the language of refined romance and classical modern elegance, a style not bound to age, season, or category. His impact on the industry Valentino’s influence extended far beyond garments into: Brand identity building in luxury fashion Redefining couture as cultural art, not product Establishing the concept of the designer’s visual signature Creating a cultural relationship between design and identity His presence was not driven by media noise, but by consistency, clarity, and long-term vision. What his passing means for the industry Valentino’s passing does not mark the end of a brand. It does not mark the end of a fashion house. It does not mark the end of a commercial name. It marks a transition from active influence to historical reference. His work now moves from seasonal collections into the realm of global cultural archives, studied, analyzed, and referenced in fashion education and industry theory. Like all true pioneers, he moves from market presence to cultural legacy. Conclusion The passing of Valentino Garavani is not simply a fashion headline. It is a cultural moment in the history of global design. Because he belonged to a generation that: Built identities Created schools Formed philosophies Shaped aesthetics Not trends. Valentino does not leave fashion today. He enters the space of professional immortality, where the name becomes a school, the work becomes a reference, and the legacy becomes history. In an industry driven by speed and change, only values endure. And Valentino will always remain one of the timeless symbols of those values. Follow me on Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website  for more info! Read more from Halima Seemba Halima Seemba, Fashion Design Consultant Halima Seemba, a young Emirati woman, excels as a Fashion Design Consultant Certified Global Trainer. As a pioneer, she co-founded Purple Bubbles Cosmetics, showcasing her entrepreneurial spirit and dedication to her heritage. Her diverse skills and visionary leadership at Jaffair Art Company inspire others, reflecting the limitless potential of Emirati women globally.

Written by Mark Mathia, Chief Catalyst Officer & Business Strategist Mark Mathia, Chief Catalyst Officer & Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach, leverages 30+ years in the C-suite to accelerate profitable growth for founders and executives worldwide. Creator of CatalX(tm), a proven framework fusing profit strategies, elite communication, and energy mastery-he helps leaders dominate rooms, scale faster, and avoid burnout. Over 70% of senior leaders are burned out, quietly running on empty while the boardroom demands more "resilience." But what if grit is the problem, not the solution? In this piece, business strategist and executive coach Mark Mathia shares why traditional bounce-back advice fails high performers and reveals a better path, Sustainable Capacity, a neuroscience-backed system that recharges your brain, body, and business while you work. Drawing from his own burnout recovery and client breakthroughs (like a tech founder doubling output without extra hours), Mark introduces the CatalyX PSE™ Framework (Psychology × Strategy × Energy) and five practical micro-habits that shift leaders from grinding to graceful, long-term thriving. If you're tired of surviving quarters and ready to build a legacy that compounds over decades, this reframes everything. Read now to discover: Why resilience without renewal is a slower burnout The "Catalyst Zone" that unlocks intuitive decisions Habits that rewire your nervous system in minutes You weren't built to endure. You were built to lead, fully alive, for the long haul. Here's the uncomfortable truth nobody in the boardroom wants to say out loud, over 70% of senior leaders are burned out. Not "a little tired." Not "needing a vacation." Burned out, running on fumes, white-knuckling through quarters, and quietly wondering how much longer they can keep this pace. And what's the advice they keep hearing? Be more resilient. Bounce back. Toughen up. Push through. I've spent the last decade coaching high-capacity executives, from large-enterprise CEOs to startup founders, and I can tell you, resilience isn't the answer anymore. In fact, that relentless focus on "bouncing back" might be the very thing trapping leaders in a cycle of depletion. Early in my career, I bought into the grit myth myself. After burning out as a young executive, I tried every resilience hack, meditation apps, power naps, and even weekend retreats, but I kept crashing. What we need isn't another motivational poster about toughness. We need a fundamentally different operating system, one built for renewal, not just recovery. Welcome to the neuro-strategy of Sustainable Capacity. What exactly is Sustainable Capacity? Let's get clear on terms because words matter in leadership. Resilience is about surviving disruption, absorbing a hit, and returning to baseline. Think of a rubber band, stretch it, release it, and it snaps back to its original shape. That works until you realize most leaders' "baseline" is already exhausted. Sustainable Capacity is different. It's about constant renewal, building a system where your brain, body, and business recharge while you work, not just after you collapse. It's shifting from "How do I survive this quarter?" to "How do I thrive for the next decade?" The neuroscience backs this up. Research on Sustainable Decision-Making (SDM) shows our brains have specific neural pathways for planning, self-control, and ethical reasoning. When we design leadership habits around these pathways, rather than against them, we unlock what I call the "Catalyst Zone" or flow state. We stop fighting our biology and start leveraging it. This isn't soft science, it's a strategic advantage. I saw this firsthand with a client, a tech startup founder named Clint, who was grinding 80-hour weeks. By realigning his habits with his brain's wiring, he doubled his team's output without adding hours, proof that biology isn't a barrier, it's a booster. Why resilience messaging fails high-performing leaders Here's what I've seen time and again, a leader hits a wall. They're depleted, disengaged, maybe even questioning their purpose. And the well-meaning advice from books, podcasts, and consultants? Just be more resilient. (Yes, I've said that in the past as well.) The problem? That advice assumes the leader has reserves left to draw from and that their "baseline" is healthy. For most executives I coach, that's dead wrong. One of my clients, a sales leader in her forties, shared how "resilience training" at her company left her feeling more broken. "It was like being told to run a marathon on a sprained ankle." Resilience without renewal is just a slower path to burnout. Think about it like this, if you're driving cross-country and your car is running on empty, "resilience" is coasting downhill to save gas. It might buy you a few miles, but eventually, you're stuck on the side of the road. Sustainable Capacity means creating systems that renew themselves, like a smart hybrid engine that recharges as you cruise. After my own burnout, I realized efficiency isn't brute force, it's elegant planning. The shift isn't about working less, it's about working differently. It's designing your leadership life so energy flows back into you, rather than constantly draining out. The CatalyX PSE™ framework: A system for renewal So, how do we actually build Sustainable Capacity? This is where my CatalyX PSE™ Framework comes in. It's built on three interconnected pillars which includes Psychology, Strategy, and Energy. When all three align, you stop grinding and start flowing. I developed this after years of trial and error in my own life and with clients, refining it through real-world wins, like helping a nonprofit director scale her impact without sacrificing her health. Psychology: Rewire your mindset Sustainable Capacity starts between your ears. The dorsomedial prefrontal cortex, the brain region for self-awareness and moral reasoning, activates when we make decisions aligned with our values. When there's a gap between what we believe and how we behave, that dissonance drains us. The fix? Radical clarity on your identity as a leader. What do you actually believe and why? What's your "Catalyst Zone", the intersection of your strengths and purpose? When you operate from there, decision-making becomes intuitive, not exhausting. This is why I'm obsessed with tools like CliftonStrengths. It's not just a fun personality test, your talents are maps to your cognitive sweet spot. I discovered my own Catalyst Zone this way, realizing my strength as a "Relator" after years of forcing myself into aggressive sales roles. When you know your wiring, you stop wasting energy pretending to be someone you're not. Strategy: Align your systems Here’s a question I ask every executive I coach, "Where is your hidden revenue sitting?" Nine times out of ten, it’s buried under misaligned systems. The leader is working hard, but their habits, team structure, and vision are not pointing in the same direction. That misalignment creates friction, and friction creates fatigue. Sustainable Capacity requires strategic alignment. Your daily habits need to serve your quarterly goals, which serve your five year vision. When everything points the same way, momentum builds naturally. You are not pushing a boulder uphill. You are rolling downhill with intention. I learned this the hard way when my first business stalled, until I aligned my client intake with my long term vision, turning chaos into consistent growth. Yes, there are clients you should walk away from. Energy: Optimize your biology This is where the neuroscience gets practical. Your brain’s capacity for high-level thinking, what researchers call executive function, depends entirely on your physiological state. Sleep, movement, breathwork, and nutrition are not nice to haves. They are the foundation of leadership performance. I tell my clients this, your biology is your most undervalued business asset. A leader running on four hours of sleep and three cups of coffee is not resilient. They are impaired. And impaired leaders make impaired decisions. After my burnout, I rebuilt my energy from the ground up, starting with non-negotiable sleep, and it transformed how I show up, not just at work, but in life. Five neuroscience-backed micro habits for Sustainable Capacity Let’s get tactical. Here are five practices I teach that rewire your nervous system for renewal rather than depletion, habits I have tested on myself and hundreds of clients. The 90-second reset, breathwork When stress hits, your amygdala hijacks your prefrontal cortex. I call this the dark and twisties. The fastest way to reclaim control is physiological sighing, a double inhale through the nose, followed by a long exhale through the mouth. Do this for 90 seconds to downregulate your stress response in real time. I use it before every high-stakes conversation, including the time it helped me navigate a tough client negotiation without losing my cool. Sleep as a strategy This is not negotiable. Seven to eight hours of quality sleep is when your brain consolidates learning, processes emotions, and clears metabolic waste. Treat your sleep like a board meeting, non-negotiable and protected. Start with a consistent wind-down routine 60 minutes before bed. Skipping this cost me a major opportunity early on. Now it is my secret weapon. The ultradian sprint Your brain works in 90-minute cycles. Instead of pushing through eight-hour marathons, structure your day around focused 90-minute sprints followed by 15 to 20-minute recovery breaks. This aligns with your natural neurological rhythm and prevents cognitive fatigue. Implementing this turned my scattered days into a productive flow. Morning priming How you start your morning sets the neurochemical tone for your day. Before checking email, spend 10 minutes in intentional priming through movement, prayer, and visualization. This activates your prefrontal cortex before reactive tasks hijack your attention. It is how I reclaimed my mornings after years of reactive chaos. The weekly energy audit Every Sunday, review where your energy went that week. What activities filled you? What drained you? Over time, patterns emerge. The goal is to systematically eliminate or delegate draining tasks and double down on what energizes you. This is how you design a life that recharges as you live it. My audits revealed I was wasting energy on admin, so I delegated and freed up creative space. The legacy question Here’s what I want you to sit with, "What kind of leader do you want to be in ten years?" Not just the results you achieve, but who you become. Sustainable Capacity is not just about avoiding burnout. It is about building a leadership life that compounds over decades. It is about leaving a legacy that matters. The leaders who thrive long term are not the ones who white-knuckle through challenges. They are the ones who build systems for renewal. They invest in their Psychology, align their Strategy, and optimize their Energy, not occasionally, but habitually. This is the shift from grinding to grace. Your next step If the idea of moving beyond “just be more resilient” resonates, if you are a high-capacity leader ready to rethink how you sustain peak performance over the long haul, let’s keep the conversation going. Start by tuning into my podcast, Triple Margin Freedom, where I dive deeper into these exact themes, protecting your mental, emotional, and performance margins so you can lead with freedom instead of force. Each episode brings real stories from executives I have coached, practical neuroscience hacks, and no fluff strategies to build a life and legacy that compounds. You can find Triple Margin Freedom on your favorite platform, search for it on YouTube , Apple Podcasts , or head straight to Podbean for the latest episodes and show notes. Listen to one on your next walk or commute, and if it hits home, drop me a note or connect. Because you weren't built to just survive the grind. You were built to lead, fully alive, fully present, and thriving for decades. Follow me on LinkedIn or visit here to explore the CatalyX PSE™ Framework and discover more ways neuroscience-backed insights can transform your business and leadership journey. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram for more info! Read more from Mark Mathia Mark Mathia, Chief Catalyst Officer & Business Strategist Mark Mathia is a former C-suite executive turned Chief Catalyst Officer and Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach with over 30 years of leading and advising national organizations. He created the CatalX™ framework to help founders and senior leaders master high-stakes communication, accelerate profitable growth, and sustain peak performance without burnout. His clients, CEOs, founders, and executive teams, consistently scale faster, win bigger deals, and lead with greater clarity and energy. When he’s not coaching one-on-one or speaking to leadership teams, Mark distills battle-tested insights on influence, profit acceleration, and human performance.

Written by Jonathan Rozenblit, Leadership Development Coach Jonathan Rozenblit is a Professional Certified Coach (ICF-PCC), author, and podcast host who specializes in helping corporate professionals discover and develop their unique practice of leadership. His focus is on the inner work of leadership, creating conditions for people to be, bring, and do their best. Creating conditions for others to thrive requires more than good intentions or generic support. It requires genuinely understanding who they are, what they need, and how they work best. Intentional connection, the practice of deliberately building deeper understanding and relationships with others, gives you the insight needed to truly help people grow. This article explores why creating conditions for others starts with connection, how common mistakes like offering help without understanding can actually hinder growth, and what becomes possible when you practice showing up for others with genuine intention and patience. Why creating conditions requires connection first Two colleagues notice their teammate struggling with a complex project. The first jumps in immediately with solutions, shares what worked for them last time, and offers to take over the difficult parts. They mean well, but their help falls flat. The teammate feels misunderstood, maybe even diminished. The second colleague takes a different approach. They've been practicing intentional connection, paying attention to how this person works, what overwhelms them, and what energizes them. So instead of offering generic help, they ask a specific question that unlocks the teammate's own thinking. They create space for the person to find their own solution, offering support that actually supports. If you recognize yourself in the first colleague, you're not alone. Most of us default to this approach, especially when we care deeply about helping others succeed. It's natural to offer what has worked for us and want to remove obstacles for others. This impulse comes from genuine care. The issue isn't your intention, it's that without connection, even the best intentions can miss the mark. This difference illustrates a fundamental truth about practicing leadership: you cannot create conditions for others to be their best, bring their best, and do their best without first understanding who they are and what they actually need. Without connection, you're guessing who they are and what they need. Instead, you project your own understanding of them and their needs. You offer what would help you, not what would help them. Your good intentions translate into actions that miss the mark, sometimes making things worse. The person you're trying to help feels unseen, their actual challenges unaddressed. But when you practice intentional connection, deliberately building understanding of how others think, work, and thrive, everything changes. You stop imposing solutions and start creating genuine conditions in which the other person can thrive. You move from helpful to actually helping. You gain the insight necessary to support others in ways that truly serve them. The common mistakes of helping without connection When you want to help someone succeed but haven't invested in understanding them first, certain patterns emerge. You see them struggling and immediately think, "I know exactly what they need." You share the solution that worked brilliantly for you. You offer to handle the complex parts so they can focus on the basics. You give advice based on how you would want to be supported. These approaches feel helpful. They come from genuine care and good intentions. Yet they often leave the other person feeling smaller rather than stronger. Consider what happens when you solve problems for someone instead of with them. You might fix the immediate issue, but you've also sent a message: "I don't trust you to figure this out." When you offer generic solutions without understanding their specific context, you communicate: "I haven't really been paying attention to your unique situation." When you assume what they need based on your own preferences, you say: "I see you as an extension of me, not as your own person." The impact runs deeper than hurt feelings. Without understanding gained through connection, your help might actually create new problems. The generally extroverted team member you're trying to support by including them in more meetings might actually need quiet alone time to think strategically. The detail-oriented colleague you're protecting from big-picture discussions might be craving the bigger-picture details of those discussions. The person you think needs clearer direction might actually need more autonomy. Real support requires real understanding. And real understanding only comes through intentional connection through watching, listening, and learning who this person actually is, rather than who you assume them to be. Building your practice of intentional connection Building intentional connection starts with a shift in focus. Instead of rushing to help, you pause to understand. Instead of assuming you know what someone needs, you become genuinely curious about their reality. This practice begins with observation. You notice patterns in how your colleague approaches problems. You pay attention to when they seem energized versus depleted. You observe what types of support they accept readily and what they resist. Each observation adds to your understanding of who they are and what conditions help them thrive. From this foundation of observation, you can extend meaningful invitations. Not "Let me know if you need anything," that puts all the burden on them. Instead, specific invitations based on what you've noticed: "I saw you light up when discussing the strategic aspects yesterday. Would you like to lead that portion of next week's planning session?" Or "I noticed the afternoon meetings seem to drain your energy. What if we moved our one-on-ones to the morning?" These specific invitations do more than offer help. They show you've been paying attention. They demonstrate that you see the person, not just the role. They make it safe for someone to accept support because you've removed the guesswork and the vulnerability of having to ask. Each interaction deepens your understanding. When they accept an invitation, you learn what kind of support resonates. When they decline, you learn about boundaries or preferences you hadn't seen. Even their way of declining tells you something rushed rejection might mean overwhelm, while a thoughtful explanation might mean they trust you enough to be honest. This is a practice that builds slowly. You won't understand someone deeply after a week of paying attention. But over time, through consistent intentional connection, you develop the insight needed to create conditions where they can genuinely thrive. Meeting resistance with patient invitation Not everyone will welcome your attempts at connection immediately. Some people have been burned by "help" that came with strings attached. Others protect their privacy. Still others might not yet trust that your interest is genuine. When you encounter resistance, the practice of intentional connection becomes even more important. A declined invitation or a deflected question doesn't mean "never." It means "not now" or "not in this way." This is valuable information, not rejection. The person who turns down your offer to collaborate might be overwhelmed this week, but receptive next month. The colleague who keeps conversations surface-level might need to see consistency in your actions before opening up. When you meet resistance, return to connection. Continue observing without intrusion. Notice what they do accept, perhaps they decline meetings but engage in casual hallway conversations. Maybe they won't discuss challenges, but will share successes. These patterns teach you how to adjust your approach. Your next invitation might be smaller, less threatening. Instead of offering to review their entire project, you might share a relevant article with a simple "thought you might find this interesting." Instead of asking directly about their struggles, you might share your own challenge first, creating space for reciprocal vulnerability. The key is patient consistency. You keep showing up with genuine intention to understand and support, without pushing when they're not ready. You demonstrate through actions over time that your interest in their success is authentic and without agenda. You prove that "no" is safe with you, that declining doesn't damage the relationship or stop future invitations. This patience often transforms resistance into partnership. But even when it doesn't, even when someone maintains their boundaries, your practice of intentional connection ensures you're creating whatever conditions you can for them to succeed, respecting their limits while remaining available should those limits shift. When connection becomes partnership Sometimes, through consistent practice of intentional connection, relationships evolve into something remarkable. You develop such a deep understanding of how someone thinks and works that you can anticipate their needs before they voice them. You become the person who remembers they have a critical presentation next week and blocks time on their calendar for preparation. You notice when they're heading toward burnout and create space for them to reset before they crash. This depth of connection enables you to become what you might feel as a "second brain," someone who catches what they miss, remembers what matters to them, and asks the question that unlocks their thinking. You help them go places they couldn't reach alone, not by pushing or pulling, but by creating exactly the conditions they need to exceed their own expectations. When this happens, something unexpected often emerges: reciprocity. The person you've been creating conditions for starts doing the same for you. They begin noticing your patterns, anticipating your needs, and offering support that actually supports. Not because you asked or expected it, but because experiencing someone truly showing up for them inspires them to show up for others. This mutual elevation, where both people actively create conditions for the other to thrive, transforms what's possible. Problems get solved before they become crises because someone noticed the early warning signs. Innovation happens naturally because people feel safe bringing incomplete thoughts. Work becomes generative rather than draining because everyone is operating with support that matches their actual needs. But here's what matters: you don't practice intentional connection to get this reciprocity. You practice it because creating conditions for others to be their best is what it means to practice leadership. The mutual partnership, when it emerges, is a beautiful byproduct, not the goal. Your focus remains on understanding and supporting others, regardless of what comes back to you. Your practice begins with seeing The difference between helping and truly helping, between support and genuine support, lies in how well you see the people around you. Not just their roles or their output, but who they are as whole humans with unique needs, pressures, and potential. Take a moment to reflect on your current relationships at work. How many people do you truly see? Not just their job performance or their personality at meetings, but their patterns of thinking, their sources of energy and depletion, their unspoken struggles and unnamed aspirations. How often do you offer help based on assumptions versus understanding? The practice of intentional connection begins with choosing one relationship and committing to seeing that person more clearly. This week, instead of jumping to help, pause to observe. Notice when they seem most engaged. Pay attention to what types of tasks they embrace versus avoid. Listen not just to what they say but how they say it. From this observation, extend one specific invitation that shows you've been paying attention. Make it small, concrete, and easy to accept or decline. Remember that this is a practice, you're not trying to transform the relationship overnight. You're beginning the slow, patient work of building a connection that enables you to create real conditions for their success. Some relationships will deepen quickly. Others will take months of consistent presence. Some may never move beyond cordial professionalism, and that's okay too. What matters is that you're choosing to practice seeing others, understanding them, and using that understanding to show up in ways that serve their growth. This is how you practice leadership, not through position or authority, but through the daily choice to create conditions for others to be their best, bring their best, and do their best. Want to continue this conversation? If this article resonated with you and you'd like to continue the conversation, or if you'd like to get regular insights on practicing leadership like this, consider joining the   Leadership Practitioner  community on Substack. There, I challenge the traditional notions of leadership as a title or position and instead redefine it as a practice, a way of showing up, of choosing to lead with purpose and vulnerability. As such, I don’t prescribe a single way forward. Instead, I endeavour to share reflections and gentle invitations to help you navigate the ever-evolving landscape of leadership, no matter your experience level. Follow me on Substack , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Jonathan Rozenblit Jonathan Rozenblit, Leadership Development Coach Jonathan Rozenblit guides corporate professionals through their journey of discovering and developing their unique practice of leadership so that they can create conditions for themselves and others to be, bring, and do their best at work. Jonathan holds Professional Certified Coach credentials from the International Coaching Federation, is the co-creator of the Leadership Practitioner program, a program that equips individuals with practical tools to inspire trust and cultivate collaborative cultures where people can bring their best selves to work every day, co-host of the Leadership Practitioner podcast, and co-author of 'The Essential Leadership Practitioner: A Framework for Building a Meaningful Practice of Leadership'.

Written by Monica Kovacs, Sacred Sexuality and Embodiment Coach Monica is a Sacred Sexuality and Embodiment Coach whose keen interest is exploring the intersections of the mystical and the erotic. With over 10 years of experience in Somatic Sex Education, Tantra, and BDSM, she offers clients embodied tools and practices for healing sexual trauma, reclaiming their erotic wisdom, and integrating sex and spirit. Sex is often considered a way to unwind and reconnect, but for many, it can unintentionally trigger stress or anxiety. Learn how to turn intimacy into a calming, nourishing experience by incorporating tantric practices that regulate the nervous system. These simple techniques, such as mindful breathing and slowing down before touch, can deepen connection, reduce anxiety, and increase pleasure over time. Why sex often dysregulates instead of nourishes We’ve all heard intimacy experts say that sex is supposed to be healing and relaxing, good for your body and mind. Therefore, the reasoning follows that you should engage in it more frequently. And if you simply schedule the time and commit to it, you’ll reap all the benefits sex has to offer. Right? Not quite.   Many people discover, often through lived experience, that sex can’t be treated like another item on a to-do list, with pleasure and satisfaction guaranteed at the end. When we engage in sex from a place of obligation or pressure, we often create a state of nervous system dysregulation. This can show up as anxiety, performance pressure, overstimulation, or dissociation. If this sounds familiar, it’s important to know that this isn’t a personal failure or a sign of incompatibility. More often, it has to do with how we are entering intimacy, specifically, the nervous system state we’re in when sex begins. Depending on the state, sex can either stress the nervous system or help regulate it. The teachings of Tantra offer us a unique and valuable approach. Rather than prioritizing performance or outcomes, Tantra emphasizes presence, pacing, and safety, conditions that allow the nervous system to soften into regulation and flow, often alongside increased pleasure. The practices outlined here are simple, subtle, and powerful, and they don’t require advanced techniques, complicated positions, or any prior experience with Tantra. If you’re curious, try these practices at your own pace and notice how they begin to shift your experience of intimacy.   What is nervous-system regulating sex? Before diving into the practices, it helps to understand what nervous system regulation actually feels like in the body. A regulated nervous system is characterized by a sense of groundedness and presence. You feel connected to your body, aware of sensation, and able to respond to your environment in ways that feel flexible, playful, and alive. In contrast, nervous system dysregulation often shows up as racing thoughts, performance anxiety, bracing, numbing, or dissociation. One of Tantra’s defining principles is that it values how the body feels over what the body produces. The journey is prioritized over the outcome. This orientation alone can create a powerful sense of safety. When the nervous system feels safe, pleasure and connection emerge more organically, at a pace that supports their natural unfolding. Instead of being forced, arousal becomes a response to presence.   Practice 1: Slow down before you touch Most nervous system dysregulation begins before sex even starts. It often arises at the level of anticipation, through stories about how we’re supposed to show up, fears of disappointing a partner, or pressure to perform. On top of that, many people move directly from the demands of daily life into intimacy without giving their nervous system time to transition. Taking just a few minutes to pause before any sexual contact can have a surprisingly powerful impact. Set aside 2-5 minutes to be still together, sitting or lying down, facing one another. Begin to notice what’s happening in your body: the pace of your breath, the temperature of your skin, areas of tension or ease, and any other sensations that arise. This practice is similar to mindfulness in that your only task is to notice and acknowledge your experience without judgment. There is no need to chase arousal. Simply welcome your body exactly as it is. This pause signals safety to the nervous system, helping shift you out of fight-or-flight and into a state of presence. When practiced with a partner, it also builds relational attunement and the capacity to hold space for one another’s experience. It may feel subtle at first, but conscious stillness is a powerful way of offering undivided attention, both to yourself and to each other.   Practice 2: Breath synchronization for co-regulation Once you’ve established presence, breath becomes a powerful ally. Because breathing can be both conscious and unconscious, it offers a direct pathway to nervous system regulation. Many people don’t realize how often they hold or restrict their breath during sex. Breath synchronization involves extending your awareness beyond your own body and tuning into your partner’s breathing. Notice the pace and rhythm of their breath while staying aware of your own. Allow your breathing to gradually synchronize in whatever way feels natural. You may inhale and exhale together, or one of you may inhale while the other exhales. The key here is not to try to synchronize, but to let it emerge organically. If synchronization doesn’t happen, that’s perfectly fine, simply notice without judgment. As you practice, observe whether your body begins to soften and whether a sense of connection deepens. This practice activates the parasympathetic nervous system and supports co-regulation, reducing performance pressure and helping both partners feel supported in arriving just as they are. Avoid getting caught up in doing this “correctly.” If you notice yourself controlling your breath or building tension through effort, gently let that go and return to acceptance.   Practice 3: Track sensation instead of chasing arousal One of the most common sources of sexual stress is the expectation that arousal should look a certain way or progress on a specific timeline. Under time pressure, many people rush toward peak arousal, bypassing the felt experience of their body along the way. A powerful reorientation is to shift attention away from outcome and toward sensation. Rather than asking, Am I aroused enough?, begin tracking pleasant or neutral sensations like warmth, pressure, texture, movement. Unless something feels actively unpleasant, see if you can stay with the sensation and deepen into it. Often, arousal follows naturally when attention is given to sensation, but this isn’t guaranteed, and that’s okay. The practice is to remain present regardless of outcome. Notice any impulse to escalate or intensify sensation in order to reach a different result. Escalation isn’t inherently wrong, but pause to sense whether it’s arising from genuine desire or from impatience and pressure. If it’s the latter, take a breath and return to your body. Over time, this practice reduces anxiety, anchors attention in sensation, and builds erotic capacity.   Practice 4: Staying present at the edge of intensity A core tantric teaching is the ability to stay present with intensity without collapsing. In sex, this might include desire, vulnerability, love, or even more challenging emotions such as shame or grief. When there is trust, being witnessed in these states can be deeply healing. However, moving beyond your edge too quickly can activate fight-or-flight or shutdown. Staying present at the edge means noticing intensity before dysregulation occurs. This is easiest when you move slowly and track your moment-to-moment experience. When intensity rises through muscle tension, held breath, or emotional charge, pause and become curious rather than pushing forward. Rushing is a form of bypassing that pulls you out of presence. This practice is not about enduring discomfort. If something feels overwhelming, ask what would support grounding and pleasure. The priority is always choice and agency. Each time you stay present at the edge without pushing past it, you expand your nervous system’s capacity to hold depth and intensity.   Practice 5: Closing rituals for integration How a sexual experience ends is just as important as how it begins. Many encounters end abruptly, either from discomfort with aftercare or the urge to return quickly to everyday roles. Without closure, the nervous system may remain unsettled. Whether or not orgasm occurs, allow time to linger together. Gentle touch, eye contact, and shared stillness help integrate the experience and reinforce safety. Words aren’t necessary unless they feel natural. Spend a few minutes savoring the sensations still present in your body. This simple ritual helps sex shift from something that feels depleting to something that nourishes connection and trust.   Why these tantric practices change sex over time While these practices seem subtle on the surface, their impact grows over time the more they become habit in the body. Each time you choose presence over chasing an outcome, feeling over performance, your nervous system learns that intimacy can be safe and supportive. With consistency, many people notice less anxiety, less urgency, and more trust, both in themselves and in their partner. Pleasure becomes more accessible because the body no longer feels compelled to defend itself. It’s important to remember that progress isn’t linear, and there is no way to do this perfectly. A huge part of the nervous system's work is relational, meaning the dynamics will shift and change each day depending on how we each show up. But even small moments of regulation can create meaningful reference points for positive and lasting change.   From performance to presence Meaningful and transcendent sex does not need to look wild and flashy (though it can, if you like). Often, the deepest intimacy arises when the nervous system feels safe enough to stay present, and that should be the foundational goal of any erotic experience. When sex becomes regulating rather than demanding, it shifts from something we do into something we experience. As you reflect on these practices, consider a new question: How does my body feel during and after intimacy? Practice letting go of external actions and appearances, and simply notice what makes you feel settled, open, and alive. If these ideas resonate and you’d like support integrating them into your own body or relationship, working with a guide can make the process safer and more embodied. I work one-on-one with individuals and couples to support nervous system regulation, erotic capacity, and deeper connection through somatic and tantric practices. To learn more about working with me, visit here . Follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Monica Kovacs Monica Kovacs, Sacred Sexuality and Embodiment Coach Monica is a Sacred Sexuality and Embodiment Coach who brings a holistic lens to the understanding of human eroticism. Coming from a deeply religious and dogmatic background, she spent her early adulthood breaking taboos and exploring ways to integrate the mystical and the erotic. Now with over a decade of experience in Tantra, BDSM, Somatic Sex Education, Breathwork, and Depth Psychology, she devotes herself to guiding others along the path back to sexual wholeness. Using practices that are grounded in modern neuroscience while also drawing on ancient wisdom traditions, she aims to equip clients with body-based tools for accessing healing, growth, and insight on their sexual journey. References: [1] Basson, R. (2000). The female sexual response: A different model. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy , 26(1), 51-65.

Written by Josh Kerpan, Success Coach Josh Kerpan is a business owner and coach who empowers people to pursue their God-given potential in business, family, and life through mentorship, modeling, and practical systems that create clarity, freedom, and sustainable growth. There is no shortage of advice about success. Discipline, mindset, consistency, and health, none of it is secret, and none of it is wrong. But information doesn’t create transformation. Real success requires a skill most people never consider. What success actually means We are created for two reasons. The first is growth. Everything alive is subject to it. When growth stops, decay begins immediately. This isn’t philosophy, it’s observable reality. Growth may manifest differently across systems, but the Law of Growth remains inescapable. The second reason is purpose. Growth without direction is meaningless. Purpose is not automatic like aging or breathing. Purpose is chosen. It is consciously created, and in that act, we give meaning to life. The progressive realization is the commitment to constant growth. The worthy ideal is the destination that gives that growth direction. Together, they create a life of purpose lived on purpose. Some people pursue this path incrementally, stacking logical steps over time. Others push past logic entirely and take quantum leaps. If you choose the latter, you need to understand something most people never figure out. You will not arrive at your destination or pursue your worthy ideal as the person you are now.   Becoming you, version 1.1 This does not mean becoming someone else. You are not broken. You are not lacking. You have been given more talent and abilities than you will ever be able to fully express. You are already capable of far more than you can imagine. But capability requires potential to be realized. If your worthy ideal sits beyond your current results, you will need to become an updated version of yourself. Not a different person. The same core, running on an upgraded programming. That upgrade requires a skill rarely discussed in conversations about success.   The secret skill There is one skill that determines whether growth stays incremental or becomes exponential. Without it, every insight into success remains theoretical. That skill is the ability to act. Not perform. Not pretend. Act by fully assuming the role of the person capable of producing the outcome you want. Anyone willing to tolerate discomfort can step onto a stage and play a role. A CEO. A head of state. A scientist on the edge of discovery. A philosopher searching for first principles. To be convincing, you cannot mold the character to fit your comfort zone. You must give yourself over to the character. If you were cast as Sherlock Holmes, you wouldn’t just wear a hat and carry a magnifying glass. You would study the environment, the era, the psychology, and the pressures. You would learn how he thinks, what he notices, and how he moves through the world. Anyone can consciously pretend to be Sherlock Holmes for a moment. To be great, you must subconsciously become him. Legendary acting teacher Stella Adler  taught that great performance comes not from pretending, but from fully understanding the world, context, and standards of the character. An approach that applies just as directly to becoming the next version of yourself.   Living the role The next version of you, the one capable of achieving your desired outcomes, will feel just as foreign as Sherlock Holmes at first. That version operates with assumptions you do not yet hold and standards you have not yet embodied. This is where imagination stops being abstract and becomes practical. Through deliberate research, preparation, and repetition, you define the role. Not just what it looks like, but what it feels like to be that person. How they decide? What they tolerate. What they refuse. Once the role is defined, the work shifts. You act as if. Not in a mystical sense, but in a mechanical one. When you move through your day as Version 1.1 instead of Version 1.0, your behavior changes. Your perception sharpens. Invisible opportunities become obvious. When action aligns with identity, reality reorganizes itself around that alignment.   This is not magic This process can sound mystical because it isn’t easily explained from the outside. But it is as reliable as gravity. Einstein said there are only two ways to live your life: "as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is." Miracles look like magic when the mechanism isn’t understood. You can attribute transformation to luck, timing, or divine intervention if you want. Or you can recognize that creation operates through you. When imagination, belief, and action align, outcomes follow. The desire to break out of the box is not accidental. The urge toward fuller expression exists because it is meant to be acted on. You are not limited by circumstances. You are limited by imagination and by whether you are willing to live as the person you already know you’re capable of becoming. Stop hesitating. Start acting.   Stop thinking, start acting If this resonated, it’s because you already know the gap isn’t knowledge, it’s embodiment, it’s action, it’s acting as if. The next step isn’t learning more. It’s deciding who you’re willing to become and committing to act from that identity. If you’re ready to do that work and want to learn how I can help, please visit my website  to learn more. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Josh Kerpan Josh Kerpan, Success Coach Josh Kerpan is a business owner and coach who helps people step out of the operator trap and pursue their God-given potential in business, family, and life. Through mentorship and modeling, he teaches practical systems for clarity, delegation, and intentional leadership. His work is grounded in real-world ownership, disciplined thinking, and the belief that businesses should support a well-lived life, not replace it.

Written by Dr. Stacey Lamar, Nurse Practitioner & Healer Dr. Stacey Lamar is a seasoned nurse practitioner and healer. Author of Starseed, published in 2021, she developed The Forgiveness Factor, steps to complete self-healing and return to one's authentic self, mission, and purpose. 2026 brings the Year of the Fire Horse as we shed 2025, the Year of the Snake. As one year transitions into the next, it is a time to let go and welcome new beginnings. During my end-of-year reflection, I saw a sign from the universe while driving down a local highway, something I'd never witnessed here before. This experience renewed my spirit and stirred a genuine, childlike excitement. The vision assured me: "You are okay. All is okay." Then, a grand bald eagle soared over my car, majestic and strong. The moment took my breath away. That morning, I had asked for a sign, and here it was: the great eagle, a meaningful messenger between worlds. Across many Native American nations, the eagle is revered. As the bird of flight that travels closest to the sun, it is believed to carry our dreams to the Great Creator, returning to earth with our answered prayers and guidance from above.[1] The eagle also demonstrates clarity through its keen vision and strength, soaring to great heights.   As a spiritual messenger, the great eagle represents the following: Vision. Its keen sight reminds us to look beyond the surface and see deeper within, beyond what is presented. Strength. Amid strong winds, the eagle uses their power to soar higher, teaching us inner resolve and determination. Rebirth. As the eagle sheds feathers and molts, it reminds us to release old patterns without fear, trusting we will grow anew. Balance. As a mediator between earth and sky, the eagle embodies poise and duality between the seen and unseen.   In trauma healing, connecting with the great eagle’s message can be therapeutic. Trauma often silences survivors or fractures their trust in their own truth. The Lakota saw the eagle as a totem of strength in speaking truth. The eagle brings sacred energy, dissolving rebellion or shame. Survival deserves honor. This corrects trauma-based self-blame. Walking with the eagle totem is empowering.   In Ojibwe teachings, the eagle (Migizi) symbolizes vision, leadership, and responsibility. Edward Benton-Banai writes that Migizi flies nearest the Creator and perceives the clearest truth. In addition, eagle medicine represents clear thinking, justice, and acting with integrity for the people.[2]   Merging spiritual beliefs with trauma healing gives survivors a chance to reframe threats and return to clarity. Self-worth, safety, and choices realign, metaphorically implied by mastering the great eagle. The eagle’s vision models trauma integration: seeing the whole story without being consumed by it.   Sharing the eagle as a symbol of healing is done with great humility. As noted above, the eagle embodies grandeur and has a wide body of interpretation. It is a sacred symbol adopted in ritual, law, and culture. To witness an eagle in flight is a reminder of the oneness of all.   Healing from trauma can be challenging, but support can make the process feel less overwhelming. If you find self-care difficult right now, please consider reaching out to a trusted professional. For information or support in your healing journey, Dr. Stacey Lamar is available via her studio or thesourceny8@gmail.com . Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Dr. Stacey Lamar Dr. Stacey Lamar, Nurse Practitioner & Healer Dr. Stacey Lamar is an experienced women's health provider who has risen from the ashes of childhood trauma and abuse in many forms to become a leader in assisting others to heal and return to their personal power. She is an author and successful business entrepreneur. Her healing strategy assists in the realignment of oneself to the origins of one's mission and purpose and the strengthening of body-mind-spirit to the collective consciousness. Reference: [1] Brown, J. E. (1953). The Sacred Pipe: Black Elk’s Account of the Seven Rites of the Oglala Sioux (Lakota). University of Oklahoma Press. [2] Benton-Banai, E. (Ojibwe). (1988). The Mishomis Book: The Voice of the Ojibway. Indian Country Communications.

Written by Jenny Nechvatal, Early Childhood Consultant and Author Jenny Nechvatal is widely recognised for her expertise in early childhood education and disability advocacy. She is the founder of Innovative Disability Solutions, author of the 2024 publication Embracing Disability in Early Childhood, and a consultant helping early childhood services incorporate inclusive practices into their programs. In an age where understanding and inclusivity are paramount, some individuals emerge as true pioneers, not just through their professional expertise but also through the profound lessons learned from their personal lives. Jenny Nechvatal is one such visionary. As an accomplished early childhood educator with over three decades of experience, and crucially, as a parent of neurodivergent children, Jenny offers a unique and invaluable perspective to the complex landscape of disability support. Her journey, steeped in both academic rigour and deeply personal experience, forms the bedrock of her mission to empower families and educators alike. Jenny’s story begins in country NSW, Australia, where a lifelong passion for teaching young children took root. After completing her teacher training at Macquarie University in Sydney, she embarked on a highly successful career in early childhood education. Life took a beautiful turn when she married, and with the arrival of their first daughter, Jenny and her husband embraced the quieter rhythms of country life. Their family grew to include three adult children and a grandchild, building a rich tapestry of experiences that would later shape her profound advocacy work. Beyond her professional life, Jenny is an avid reader. This passion led her to author a book sharing the raw, honest reality of receiving a disability diagnosis for one's children. This book serves as a guiding light for families navigating similar paths, offering early childhood educators a vital perspective for more compassionate and effective support. What truly distinguishes Jenny’s work, particularly with her organisation, Innovative Disability Solutions, is this powerful "dual perspective." The diagnosis of her twin boys irrevocably altered her life's trajectory, transforming her not only as a parent but also as an educator. She articulates this profound shift: "I have dual perspectives that influence my work. The perspective of being a parent who receives a disability diagnosis for their children and the perspective of an early childhood teacher who has the hard conversations when I held concerns about a child's development or behaviour." This lived experience of parenting two children on the Autism Spectrum, who also have an intellectual delay and are non-verbal, provided an unparalleled learning journey. It redefined how she trained educators and supported families, fostering an empathetic understanding of the fears and concerns that often overwhelm parents. Her decades of teaching experience, combined with the intimate insights of parenthood, create a robust framework for her unique approach. In her work, Jenny consistently identifies several common challenges that parents face when navigating diagnosis and support systems. These include a pervasive lack of knowledge about specific disabilities and available services, a distressing absence of understanding and compassion from some medical professionals, and the sheer difficulty of accessing appropriate therapies. A significant hurdle, she notes, is the "one-size-fits-all approach" often applied to disabilities, particularly for children on the Autism Spectrum, where the child is frequently seen as a diagnosis rather than a unique individual. The painful experience of parents not being listened to, coupled with a lack of advocacy skills, compounds these difficulties. Innovative Disability Solutions directly addresses these gaps through workshops designed to transform early childhood educators into champions of inclusivity. These sessions are crafted to cultivate a deeper understanding of the emotional reality of receiving a disability diagnosis and to build comprehensive knowledge about neurodiversity and the most effective strategies for supporting children. Educators delve into topics such as sensory processing disorder, learning how to create truly inclusive environments within their services, and demonstrating to all children what a genuinely inclusive community looks like. By fostering this understanding, Jenny empowers educators to become more effective, empathetic, and ultimately, more inclusive professionals. Beyond professional training, Jenny recognised the critical need for a supportive community where shared experience reigns supreme. This led to the creation of the “Neuro Spicy Parent Hub.” What sets this Hub apart from other support groups is its foundation in lived experience, offering "tiny hacks that can support families, experience of tried and true methods." It’s a dedicated space where parents can openly share what works (and what doesn't), fostering a sense of camaraderie and mutual support. Jenny highlights the immense relief of "talking to people who ‘get it’ because they have experienced the same or have experienced the new experience you are currently going through." The Hub provides a sanctuary against judgment, allowing parents to celebrate the unique triumphs that often go unnoticed by those outside the neurodivergent community. Jenny illustrates this beautifully: "For example, a child on the Autism Spectrum sniffing a piece of food they have previously refused to touch is a huge breakthrough. Telling a parent of children not on the Autism Spectrum, this story will elicit strange looks and confusion as they can't see what a huge step forward this is for that child." In the Neuro Spicy Parent Hub, such a milestone is not only understood but celebrated with genuine joy and validation. It’s a place to share both good and bad days, to feel truly understood, and to contribute to the well-being of others by sharing knowledge and insights. Jenny Nechvatal's journey is a powerful testament to how personal challenges can ignite a passionate commitment to creating a more understanding and inclusive world. Her unique blend of professional expertise and deeply personal experience provides a beacon of hope and practical guidance, ensuring that both families and educators are better equipped to support neurodivergent children and celebrate their invaluable contributions to society. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Jenny Nechvatal Jenny Nechvatal, Early Childhood Consultant and Author Jenny brings a unique dual perspective on disability and inclusion, combining insights from her 30-year career in Early Childhood and parenting two children living with a disability, with a special focus on autism. She is dedicated to upskilling teams and transforming attitudes to create more inclusive, understanding environments. Through her book and workshops, Jenny helps educators see disability in a new light, fostering positive change in early childhood settings and schools.

Written by   Sam Mishra, The Medical Massage Lady Sam Mishra (The Medical Massage Lady) is a multi-award-winning massage therapist, aromatherapist, accredited course tutor, oncology and lymphatic practitioner, trauma practitioner, breathwork facilitator, reiki and intuitive energy healer, transformational and spiritual coach, and hypnotherapist. Professional jealousy is one of those experiences we rarely admit to but almost universally feel. That sharp pang when a colleague receives recognition we coveted, the bitter taste when someone else's success seems to diminish our own, the compulsive comparison that leaves us feeling inadequate, these aren't merely character flaws or signs of insufficient gratitude. Increasingly, psychological research suggests that intense professional jealousy often has roots that extend far deeper than the workplace itself, reaching back into unresolved trauma and the fundamental wounds that shape how we perceive ourselves and our worth. Understanding professional jealousy through a trauma-informed lens doesn't excuse the behavior or make it less problematic when it manifests destructively. Rather, it offers a pathway toward healing and transformation. When we recognize that our disproportionate reactions to others' successes may be echoes of earlier pain, we can begin to address the real source of our suffering rather than simply trying to suppress uncomfortable feelings or, worse, acting on them in ways that damage our relationships and careers. The architecture of early wounds Trauma, in its psychological definition, extends beyond the dramatic events we typically associate with the word. While major traumas, abuse, neglect, significant loss, certainly play a role in shaping our adult responses, developmental psychologists increasingly recognize that more subtle but persistent experiences in childhood create lasting imprints on how we relate to achievement, recognition, and competition. Children who grew up in environments where love and approval were conditional on performance often develop what's known as an anxious attachment to achievement. If a parent's warmth was noticeably greater when you brought home good grades or won competitions, your young mind learned a dangerous equation: my worth equals my accomplishments. This isn't conscious learning but deep, neurological patterning. The brain's reward systems become wired to seek validation through external markers of success, and any threat to that success, including someone else's superior performance, triggers the same fear response as the original threat of losing parental love. Similarly, children who experienced scarcity, whether material or emotional, often develop what psychologists call a "scarcity mindset" that persists into adulthood. If resources in your family were limited, whether that meant money, attention, praise, or opportunity, you learned to compete for what was available. Success became a zero-sum game. In this framework, someone else's win necessarily means less for you because the pie was always too small in your formative years. Professional jealousy, then, becomes a reactivation of that childhood survival strategy, even when, objectively, your colleague's promotion doesn't actually take anything away from your own potential. Shame as the hidden engine Beneath most intense professional jealousy lies a deep reservoir of shame. This is perhaps the most crucial connection between trauma and workplace envy. Shame, as researcher Brené Brown has extensively documented, is the intensely painful feeling that we are fundamentally flawed and unworthy of love and belonging. Unlike guilt, which says "I did something bad," shame says "I am bad." Traumatic experiences, particularly in childhood, are the primary source of internalized shame. A child who was criticized harshly, compared unfavorably to siblings, emotionally neglected, or made to feel they were too much or not enough absorbs these messages into their core sense of self. The shame becomes part of their internal narrative, often operating below conscious awareness. When we carry unhealed shame, other people's success becomes intolerable because it seems to confirm our worst fears about ourselves. If you fundamentally believe you're not good enough, then someone else being good becomes evidence of your inadequacy. The jealousy isn't really about them, it's about the shame they inadvertently activate in you. Their light seems to make your darkness more visible. Their achievement appears to validate the critical voice that has always told you that you don't measure up. This shame-based jealousy often comes with a particular cognitive distortion: the belief that recognition and worth are finite resources. If someone else is receiving praise, there must be less available for you. If someone else is talented, it somehow diminishes your own gifts. This zero-sum thinking is characteristic of a shame-based worldview where there isn't enough goodness to go around, and you're perpetually at risk of being left without. The trauma of comparison Many people who struggle with professional jealousy grew up in environments where comparison was a constant feature of life. Perhaps they had siblings who were held up as examples, or parents who explicitly compared them to other children. Maybe their school environment was intensely competitive, or their cultural context placed enormous emphasis on relative achievement rather than individual growth. When comparison becomes the primary lens through which your worth is evaluated during your formative years, it creates a kind of relational trauma. You learn that you don't have inherent value, your value is always relative and conditional. This sets up a lifelong pattern where you can't simply enjoy your own accomplishments or exist in your own lane. Everything becomes about where you stand in relation to others. This comparison trauma often manifests in professional settings with particular intensity because workplaces naturally involve evaluation, ranking, and competition for limited resources like promotions, raises, and high-profile assignments. For someone whose early experiences taught them that comparison equals threat, these everyday workplace realities can feel like constant retraumatization. Each time a colleague is recognized or advances, it doesn't just feel like missing out on an opportunity, it feels like a fundamental threat to their sense of self. Attachment wounds and professional relationships Attachment theory, which describes the patterns of bonding formed in early childhood, provides another crucial lens for understanding professional jealousy rooted in trauma. People who developed insecure attachment patterns, particularly anxious attachment, often bring those patterns into their professional relationships. Anxious attachment typically develops when caregiving is inconsistent. Sometimes the parent is available and responsive, sometimes not, creating uncertainty about whether needs will be met. Children in these situations become hypervigilant to signs of rejection or abandonment and often develop people-pleasing behaviors to secure the love they need. In professional contexts, people with unresolved anxious attachment wounds may develop intense relationships with mentors, supervisors, or even peers, investing these relationships with more emotional weight than they can healthily bear. When someone else appears to be gaining favor with an important figure in the professional context, it can trigger the same panic that the anxiously attached child felt when they feared losing their caregiver's attention. The jealousy that emerges isn't really about the promotion or the project assignment, it's about the activation of that primal fear of being left, abandoned, or replaced. Avoidant attachment, which typically develops when emotional needs are consistently dismissed or minimized, can also contribute to professional jealousy, though it often looks different. People with avoidant patterns may outwardly dismiss recognition and claim not to care about external validation, while internally struggling with intense feelings of inadequacy. When they experience jealousy, they may intellectualize it, deny it, or withdraw rather than addressing the underlying wound, the early experience of learning that vulnerability and need are dangerous and won't be met with care. The perfectionism connection Many individuals who experience intense professional jealousy also struggle with perfectionism, and both often trace back to similar traumatic roots. Perfectionism isn't really about high standards or attention to detail, at its core, it's a defense mechanism against shame and a strategy for securing love, belonging, or safety that felt conditional or uncertain. Children who grew up in environments where mistakes were harshly criticized, where they felt they had to be perfect to be loved, or where they sensed that their achievements were their main source of value often develop perfectionist patterns. The underlying belief is: if I can just be perfect enough, I'll be safe, loved, and worthy. But perfectionism is an impossible standard, and the perfectionist is always vulnerable to feeling like a failure. When someone else succeeds or is recognized, it can trigger the perfectionistic person's deepest fear, that they're not good enough, that they've failed at being perfect, that their worth is now in question. The jealousy becomes intense because the other person's success represents not just missed opportunity but a failure at the very thing (being the best) that was supposed to keep them safe from the pain of unworthiness. This creates a particularly vicious cycle. The jealousy itself becomes another source of shame (because feeling jealous conflicts with the perfectionistic person's self-image as generous, evolved, or above such petty emotions), which intensifies the underlying wound, making future triggers even more painful. Trauma and the inner critic Most people who struggle with professional jealousy have a particularly harsh inner critic, that voice that constantly judges, compares, and finds them wanting. This inner critic often develops as an internalization of early critical voices: parents, teachers, peers, or cultural messages that communicated "you're not good enough." From a trauma perspective, the inner critic actually begins as a protective mechanism. If you can criticize yourself first and harshly enough, maybe you can avoid the pain of external criticism. If you constantly monitor your performance against others and identify your shortcomings, maybe you can fix them before others notice. The inner critic is trying to keep you safe from the shame and pain of not measuring up. But this strategy backfires. The inner critic becomes so strong that it colors everything, making neutral events feel like judgments and other people's successes feel like indictments of your own inadequacy. When a colleague succeeds, your inner critic immediately launches into a comparison: "See, they're better than you. You should have achieved that. What's wrong with you that you didn't?" This internalized critical voice is essentially a trauma response, a continuation of early wounding that now operates on autopilot. The professional jealousy that emerges isn't really about the external situation; it's about the internal torture of the critic that other people's success activates. Unmet needs and professional envy Another trauma-based root of professional jealousy involves unmet developmental needs. Every child needs to feel seen, valued, celebrated, and special in some way. When these needs go chronically unmet, perhaps due to parental preoccupation, emotional unavailability, or a family system where one child's needs were consistently prioritized over others, the adult continues to carry a deep hunger for recognition. This hunger for recognition can become desperate and consuming. When recognition goes to someone else, it doesn't just feel disappointing, it feels like being passed over and invisible all over again, reactivating that childhood wound of not being seen or valued. The intensity of the jealousy often reflects the intensity of the unmet need. People with this particular wound may find themselves constantly tracking who gets recognized, who gets praise, who gets the spotlight. They're not being petty or narcissistic, they're hungry for something essential that they never received enough of. Their professional jealousy is a symptom of developmental hunger, not character deficiency. The imposter syndrome link Professional jealousy and imposter syndrome, the persistent belief that you're a fraud who doesn't deserve your success, frequently coexist, and both often stem from traumatic experiences that created a fractured sense of self-worth. When you believe deep down that you're an imposter, other people's success becomes threatening in a particular way. Their achievements seem to prove that they're "real" in ways you're not. They appear to possess some essential quality or legitimacy that you lack. When they're recognized or rewarded, it seems to confirm your worst fear: that eventually, everyone will discover you don't really belong. This imposter feeling often originates in experiences where a child's authentic self wasn't welcomed or accepted. Perhaps they had to develop a "false self" to gain approval, performing a version of themselves that met family or cultural expectations while their true self remained hidden and unvalidated. The adult then continues this pattern, achieving professionally but never feeling genuine or deserving because they're still operating from that false self, waiting for exposure. When jealousy arises from this place, it's mixed with fear. The other person's success not only triggers envy but also anxiety that you'll be revealed as less capable, less genuine, less deserving. The jealousy is actually a symptom of the deeper trauma of having learned that your authentic self wasn't acceptable enough. Healing: From understanding to transformation Recognizing the traumatic roots of professional jealousy is the first step toward healing, but it's only the beginning. The actual work of transformation requires acknowledging these patterns with compassion rather than judgment, then slowly rebuilding the core sense of self-worth that was damaged. This healing often involves grieving, acknowledging what you didn't receive in childhood or early life, the security and unconditional acceptance that would have allowed you to develop a stable sense of worth independent of achievement or comparison. It means recognizing that your jealousy, while painful and sometimes destructive, makes sense given what you experienced and learned. The path forward involves gradually developing what psychologists call "secure attachment" to yourself, learning to be your own source of validation and worth rather than depending entirely on external recognition. It means challenging the cognitive distortions that make you see others' success as your failure, and recognizing that worth and opportunity are not finite resources. It also requires practicing vulnerability, sharing your struggles with trusted others, including the uncomfortable truth that you sometimes feel jealous. Bringing these feelings into the light reduces their power and their shame. When we hide our jealousy, it grows stronger. When we acknowledge it with self-compassion and in safe relationships, it begins to lose its grip. For many people, professional work with a therapist trained in trauma-informed approaches can be transformative. Modalities like EMDR, internal family systems, somatic experiencing, or psychodynamic therapy can help process the underlying wounds that fuel the jealousy. The goal isn't to eliminate all feelings of envy, that's a normal human emotion, but to reduce the intensity and reactivity so that these feelings become manageable rather than overwhelming. Professional jealousy rooted in trauma is ultimately a call to healing. It's an invitation to turn inward and address the old wounds that continue to shape your present experience. When you do this work, something remarkable often happens: not only does the jealousy diminish, but your capacity for genuine celebration of others expands. You become more generous, more secure, and more connected, both to yourself and to the people around you. The energy that was consumed by envy and comparison becomes available for creativity, growth, and meaningful contribution. This is the promise of trauma-informed understanding: that our deepest struggles can become gateways to profound healing and transformation. Follow me on  Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website  for more info! Read more from Sam Mishra Sam Mishra, The Medical Massage Lady Sam Mishra (The Medical Massage Lady), is a multi-award winning massage therapist, aromatherapist, accredited course tutor, oncology and lymphatic practitioner, trauma practitioner, breathwork facilitator, reiki and intuitive energy healer, transformational and spiritual coach and hypnotherapist. Her medical background as a nurse and a midwife, combined with her own experiences of childhood disability and abuse, have resulted in a diverse and specialised service, but she is mostly known for her trauma work. She is motivated by the adversity she has faced, using it as a driving force in her charity work and in offering the vulnerable a means of support. Her aim is to educate about medical conditions using easily understood language, to avoid inappropriate treatments being carried out, and for health promotion purposes in the general public. She is also becoming known for challenging the stigmas in our society and pushing through the boundaries that have been set by such stigmas within the massage industry.

Written by Elizabeth Huang, Life Coach & Death Doula Elizabeth Huang is a certified life coach, grief educator, and death doula. Her work emphasizes enhancing emotional literacy, fostering social and emotional learning, and supporting affective development in a world that is becoming increasingly reliant on technology. Grief doesn’t wait until after work to show up. It comes up in the middle of meetings, during deadlines, and in the quiet moments in between. For many people, returning to work after a loss can feel disorienting, like you’re expected to perform as if nothing has changed, even though everything has. Conflict and tension may arise more frequently. If this is your reality right now, here are five practical tips for navigating grief in the workplace: 1. Do not use work to repress, suppress, or avoid Grief is complex; it touches every part of us, from our emotions and thoughts to how we feel in our bodies. It’s absolutely normal to want to dive into work as a way to distract or distance yourself from the pain. But when we try to bury grief, it often resurfaces in other ways: through exhaustion, irritability, trouble sleeping, intrusive thoughts, or withdrawing from others. Rather than pushing through, consider honoring what you’re carrying by asking for support at work or taking time off when possible. If you find yourself avoiding work because of grief, that’s normal, too. Focus on small, manageable steps, like breaking tasks into bite-sized pieces or jotting down a simple to-do list. And if that feels like too much, ask for help. If going into work feels especially heavy, try adding something gentle to your day, a lunch with a supportive coworker, a short walk, or anything that offers a bit of ease or grounding in the middle of it all. 2. Communicate with your team or manager(s) Grief can feel isolating, but letting your team or manager(s) know what you’re going through can be a powerful step toward support. You don’t need to share every detail or open up emotionally if that feels like too much. Simply informing them about your loss allows others to meet you with more understanding, and gives you space to acknowledge your grief out loud, which can be healing in itself. 3. Set boundaries at work Boundaries are essential when you're grieving, and even more so in a work environment. Here are two key types of boundaries to consider: Boundaries that protect your energy: For example, “I won’t be available to take on extra shifts this week.” Boundaries that guide communication: For example, “I’d like to keep you updated, but I may not be ready to talk in detail yet.” Both will help protect your emotional well-being while maintaining healthy, respectful dynamics with coworkers. 4. Create a plan for support Grief doesn’t follow a schedule, but work usually does. It can help to think ahead: Could carrying a small object of remembrance help you feel more grounded or connected during the day? If grief shows up suddenly (like a wave of emotion or a panic response), how will you care for yourself in the moment? Is there someone you trust at work you can go to or text if needed? Even having one supportive person and a few simple grounding tools can make a big difference. 5. Compartmentalize when needed, and circle back Sometimes, putting grief on pause during work hours is necessary. It’s okay to “shelve” emotions temporarily in order to get through meetings or complete tasks. Just be sure to circle back later, in a safe space and at a pace that feels manageable. Grief doesn’t disappear when ignored; it simply waits. Give yourself time and permission to feel once you’re out of performance mode. For managers and coworkers: How to offer support Grief doesn’t follow deadlines, even if work does. Supporting a grieving coworker means balancing compassion with accountability. You don’t need to absorb their workload or have all the answers; just stay open, curious (without prying), and willing to co-create a plan that supports both their healing and the team’s needs. If you are not in a position to offer support, for any reason, the most respectful thing you can do is let the person know with care and honesty. Bonus tip: Consider workplace culture before you need it As all of this depends on the culture of your workplace, it’s important to ask about how a company supports employees' mental health, bereavement, and flexibility before accepting a job. The way a workplace treats grief is often a reflection of how they value humanity. When to seek additional support Grief is rattling. It often stirs up past pain, heightens existing struggles with anxiety or depression, and can lead to burnout. You might feel lost, emotionally flooded, or disconnected from your sense of purpose. Relationships may feel harder to navigate, and the coping tools that once helped might no longer feel effective. These are all signs that you may benefit from additional support. Seeking help doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re tending to something tender and important. Support can take many forms: A therapist or coach who specializes in grief or trauma A grief support group Creative outlets like writing, movement, or art Wherever you are in your grief, you don’t have to carry it alone. Connect with me for a free 1:1 session to see how I can support you. Follow me on Instagram , LinkedIn and visit my website  for more info! Read more from Elizabeth Huang Elizabeth Huang, Life Coach & Death Doula Elizabeth Huang is a certified life coach, grief educator, and death doula dedicated to helping individuals navigate life’s transitions with greater emotional awareness and resilience. Born and raised in California, she was deeply influenced by the American culture’s discomfort with grief and avoidance of death. This inspired her to explore a more intentional and holistic approach to life, loss, and the emotions that shape our experiences. Through her work, Elizabeth guides individuals in processing grief - whether it stems from death, identity shifts, career changes, or other major life transitions.

Written by AnneMarie Smellie, Neurodevelopmental Practitioner, Kinesiologist, and Hypnotherapist AnneMarie Smellie is a UK-based neurodevelopmental practitioner, kinesiologist, and hypnotherapist with over 20 years’ experience helping children and adults build resilience, regulate anxiety, and strengthen brain–body foundations for learning and life. There is a conversation happening beneath your conscious awareness, one that quietly influences your decisions, your reactions, your relationships, and the way you see yourself. Most people never realize it’s there. Yet, it shapes everything. That unseen dialogue is what my new book Hidden Thoughts explores. We are often taught to focus on behavior: what we do, what we say, how we perform. But behavior is the final chapter of a much longer story. Long before action, there is perception. Before perception, there is emotion. And beneath emotion, there are thoughts, not the obvious ones we can easily name, but the subtle, automatic beliefs formed through experience, survival, and repetition. These hidden thoughts are not loud. They don’t announce themselves. They whisper. And because they whisper, they are rarely questioned. The stories we live by, without realizing it Many of the struggles people carry, anxiety, shame, self-sabotage, emotional overwhelm, a persistent sense of “not enough”, are not random or irrational. They are logical responses to internal narratives that were formed long ago. A child who learned that love was conditional may grow into an adult who constantly over-functions to earn approval. Someone who experienced unpredictability may live in a state of hyper-vigilance, mistaking anxiety for responsibility. Another may carry anger or withdrawal, not because they are difficult, but because their nervous system learned that it was safer not to feel. These patterns are not character flaws. They are adaptations. Hidden Thoughts does not ask readers to suppress emotions, think positively, or bypass discomfort. In fact, it does the opposite. It invites an honest reckoning with the emotional and neurological foundations that shape who we are, and why we respond the way we do. Why awareness changes everything You cannot change what you are not aware of. And awareness is not the same as insight. Many people intellectually understand why they struggle, yet still feel stuck. That is because true change does not happen at the level of explanation, it happens when the body, the nervous system, and the emotional brain are brought into the conversation. This book bridges that gap. Through reflection, real-world examples, and practical exercises, Hidden Thoughts helps readers recognize the internal patterns running in the background of their lives, the ones driving fear, people-pleasing, anger, avoidance, or emotional shutdown. Once those patterns are seen clearly, they lose their grip. What was once automatic becomes optional. And that is where real resilience begins. This is not self-help, it is self-understanding There is no quick fix in these pages. No ten-step formula for happiness. No promise that life will suddenly become easy. What Hidden Thoughts offers instead is something far more powerful: the ability to meet yourself honestly, without judgment. When people understand the "why" behind their reactions, they stop fighting themselves. They stop seeing their emotions as weaknesses. They begin to respond rather than react. And from that place, change becomes sustainable. A quieter, deeper kind of strength In a world that encourages constant optimization and surface-level solutions, this book asks readers to slow down and listen, to the thoughts beneath the thoughts, and the emotions beneath the emotions. Because when those whispers are finally heard, they no longer control the narrative. And that is where clarity, agency, and resilience truly begin. Follow me on Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from AnneMarie Smellie AnneMarie Smellie, Neurodevelopmental Practitioner, Kinesiologist, and Hypnotherapist AnneMarie Smellie is a UK-based neurodevelopmental practitioner, kinesiologist, and hypnotherapist with over 20 years of clinical experience. She specialises in anxiety, neurodiversity and learning differences, working at the intersection of brain development, nervous-system regulation and emotional resilience. Through her work at Quester Therapies, AnneMarie helps children and adults uncover and address the root causes behind behavioural, emotional, and cognitive challenges. Her writing focuses on practical, compassionate insights that make complex brain-body concepts accessible and empowering.

In a world that often rushes past pain and silences emotion, Elizabeth is creating space for something deeper. As a life coach, grief educator, and death doula, she walks alongside people as they navigate life’s rougher terrains, feeling stuck, overwhelmed, dissociated, etc, and continues that support all the way through end-of-life. Having supported over a thousand individuals through their grief, major life transitions, and emotional stress, Elizabeth has cultivated a unique ability to hold space for deep endings while nurturing new beginnings with presence and care. Today, we dive into her journey, her mission, and the powerful ways she’s helping others live a life they love. Elizabeth Huang, Life Coach & Death Doula For those who may not be familiar, what is a death doula, and what personally drew you to this work? Death doulas are non-medical professionals who support individuals and their loved ones through the dying process and beyond, providing emotional, practical, and spiritual care. I started out as a life coach when my mental health took a major dip while working over 120 hours every week for about 2 years. During that time, I worked with a coach whose approach resonated with me in a way I hadn’t experienced before. That connection reignited a long-standing desire to support others in their emotional and mental well-being. In the midst of going through my first certification in coaching, I began thinking about the relationship our world has with death and dying. We often hear about the importance of living fully and showing up for others, but when death approaches, many people find themselves unsure, uncomfortable, or absent. The irony is striking: we celebrate life, yet struggle to stay present at its end. It made me realize how much we lose by avoiding conversations around death, dying, and difficult emotions. Our discomfort with these topics doesn’t protect us; it disconnects us. How can we truly live well if we’re not prepared to die well? And how can we die well without ever talking about it? When approached with care, these conversations can actually deepen intimacy with the people we love. Coaching offers a supportive space to navigate them and build that kind of meaningful connection. People spend most of their waking hours at work. Can emotions be a strength in the workplace? Absolutely, emotions are our body’s information and motivation system. When we suppress, ignore, or bypass them, we don’t just create inner tension; we ripple that conflict  into our relationships, teams, and work environments. Emotional suppression can lead to miscommunication, chronic stress, and burnout. It also affects decision-making and collaboration, eroding trust over time. Recent reports  confirm that emotional disconnection in the workplace is not only harmful to individual well-being but costly as well. Of course, managers and business owners everywhere would benefit from doing their own introspection work, but it would also help them to learn how to navigate emotions within their teams. Putting our emotions to the side in favor of corporate numbers and rapid tech growth has made our world less connected, more alexithymic  (especially in men ), and ultimately, less human. What inspired your work in emotional intelligence? Before working with my own coach, I was living life on autopilot. Raised in Silicon Valley by Asian immigrant parents, I grew up in a culture where academic achievement was everything. The pressure was intense, and in places like Palo Alto, it has tragically contributed to cycles  of youth suicide over the years. That environment shaped my understanding of stress, emotional suppression, and the urgent need for safe spaces to feel and heal. I soon realized that being a life coach and death doula allowed me to use my skills and experience from one role to support clients in the other. And recognizing how much of the difficulty people experience in grief is contributed by our discomfort and growing unfamiliarity with emotions made me realize that grief isn’t just one emotion; it is a collection and journey of emotions. Now more than ever, as AI advances and attempts to replicate human connection, it’s crucial that we address the emotional skills and lived experiences we risk losing in the process. Speaking of AI & tech, what are your thoughts around their involvement in the mental health space? As with anything, there are benefits and challenges. While AI & tech can provide accessibility to mental health with more affordable options, flexible scheduling, and fewer errors, much of the work in therapy or coaching is relational. AI may be able to work with CBT, IFS, Somatic Experiencing, EMDR, ACT, and psychedelics in any given session, but without a genuine connection, you aren’t healing on a human level. You’re missing out on the opportunity to repair and grow with a human when there are scheduling mistakes, miscommunication leading to misunderstandings, or simply one of you having a bad day. How can people know if you are a good fit for them? I typically offer complimentary 30-minute consultations , but as a special thank you to Brainz Magazine readers, I'm extending that to a full 60-minute session. Just reach out through my website , mention that you found me through Brainz, and we’ll set up a time to connect. Follow me on Instagram , and LinkedIn  for more info! Read more from Elizabeth Huang

Colorado – Unbound today announced the launch of its virtual coaching platform, designed to help individuals and teams resolve emotional friction, limiting beliefs, and internal barriers much faster than traditional methods. Created for people who feel like they’ve tried everything without experiencing lasting change, Unbound offers an alternative focused on resolution rather than ongoing management. Most clients notice significant shifts after their first session, and many achieve breakthroughs within one to three sessions. Unbound™ matches clients seeking emotional breakthroughs with independently certified Rapid Rewire Method™ practitioners. Structured, experiential sessions provide subconscious and emotional support to create sustainable internal change. Unbound practitioners are trained in the Rapid Rewire Method™, which helps individuals dissolve emotional charge, transform limiting beliefs, shift identity patterns, and process unresolved experiences that affect confidence, performance, and well-being. “Unbound was created for people who are done managing the same internal challenges and are ready for real resolution,” said Stephanie Kwong, co-founder of Unbound. “Our work focuses on addressing the root cause of emotional and behavioural patterns, not coping with them indefinitely. When that internal friction dissolves, people naturally regain clarity, confidence, and forward momentum.” Different from traditional talk-based approaches, Rapid Rewire Method™ sessions are not centred on revisiting problems week after week. Instead, clients are guided through real-time processes that address the root of an issue at the nervous-system level. The work is conducted virtually and privately, with a clear emphasis on progress. Unbound addresses challenges affecting personal and professional life, such as anxiety, chronic stress, confidence and self-worth issues, relationship and communication patterns, career transitions, leadership pressure, performance blocks, unprocessed grief, and limiting beliefs. The platform focuses on resolving these challenges rather than teaching coping strategies. Unbound also supports organisations and leadership teams navigating high-pressure environments. Corporate clients use the platform to enhance psychological well-being and nervous system regulation, thereby improving resilience, focus, decision-making, and workplace effectiveness. By resolving internal friction, organisations benefit from clearer communication, stronger emotional intelligence, improved performance, and higher engagement, with disengagement costing the U.S. economy over $450 billion annually. Unbound positions inner alignment as essential for performance and retention. All practitioners on the Unbound platform have completed a rigorous certification process in the Rapid Rewire Method™ and are trained to deliver consistent, results-oriented experiences. Through personalised matching and virtual accessibility, Unbound makes rapid, lasting transformation available to clients worldwide. For more information or to get started, visit this website . About Unbound Unbound is a pioneering coaching platform powered by the Rapid Rewire Method™, a neuroscience-based approach developed to resolve emotional friction, limiting beliefs, and internal barriers in as few as one to three sessions. With intelligent client–practitioner matching, virtual access, and rigorously certified practitioners, Unbound delivers targeted, results-driven support that surpasses traditional coaching models. The platform focuses on resolving root causes rather than managing challenges over time. Unbound serves individuals seeking personal breakthroughs, as well as organizations and leadership teams facing performance pressure and professional challenges. By removing internal obstacles, Unbound enables measurable improvements in emotional intelligence, clarity, communication, fulfillment, and performance, with positive effects across personal and professional life. Contact information Email: support@unbound-now.com Phone: +1 (310) 990-5387