Why Creating Boundaries is an Essential Self-Care That is Not Easy
- Brainz Magazine
- Mar 18, 2021
- 3 min read
Written by: Jeanne Agius, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Ever think about the hard parts of self-care? The things that we don't openly talk about?
Let's move away from what we think of self-care and talk about setting boundaries as an essential self-care practice.
As a recovering workaholic and people pleaser, it wasn't easy to create boundaries with me and those around me, but I am working on it daily.
Setting boundaries means knowing when or what to say no to and communicating your wants and needs to those around you to make it happen.
The most significant shift for me was when I became a mom. I no longer had the luxury of time to do things on my own accord. I was responsible for tiny humans that need me around the clock, but I also know what I need to not only function but to feel good about myself.
As a result, it meant having to communicate to those around me (aka my hubby) what my limits are, and for me, as much as I wanted to do it all, I knew it would be hard to do it all at once without compromising something.
Although he is my biggest supporter, there are times where I needed to be crystal clear about what I wanted him to do and that his needs are just as important as mine.
This included giving me my "me time" to do what I love and to fill me with strength, so we can continue to be power partners in this marriage.
Remember, self-care includes creating these healthy boundaries so you can feel your best always!
Here are a few tips to help you get started establishing boundaries with your partner so you can continue to be your best self.
Be honest and communicate your thoughts and feelings with your partner. It's totally normal to gather your thoughts and feelings until you feel comfortable and ready. You can express your feelings respectfully without worrying about it coming off demanding. Focus on "I feel" statements vs. "you" statements.
Don't assume or guess your partner knows what you want. You may feel like he should know, but if you don't be clear and, I mean stupid clear, and ask for what you want, then you can avoid a lot of misunderstanding down the road.
Don't break your own boundaries. Following through on those boundaries helps to avoid letting the person think they have an excuse to overstep them. Follow through on things that aren't acceptable to you so that you are reinforcing your need to be taken seriously on your wants.
Let go of what you can't control. There are times where even if you put 100% into something and are clear with your desires, and it is not guaranteed that what you want will be reciprocated. Everyone has the right to be treated with respect, and only you can control it.
Setting and establishing healthy boundaries is not easy, but remind yourself you are deserving to be loved, respected, and supported, and as long as you're true to yourself, the relationship will only get stronger over time. This includes the relationship you have with yourself.
Jeanne Agius, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Jeanne Agius is a former Corporate Escapee turned founder of Self-Care Journey Coaching, every women's Self-Care Coach, wife, mother, healthy lifestyle expert, international speaker, and a certified Holistic Wellness Coach.
Since becoming a mom, she has been a frequent speaker on guiding women, especially moms, to prioritize themselves with holistic self-care practices without feeling guilt, despite the many hats they wear. She has been fortunate to help hundreds of women worldwide elevate their lifestyles and optimize their health by using self-care as their superpower to thrive so they can reclaim their time, energy, and confidence. She has built her Survive to Thrive program to help women feel strong and beautiful from the inside out, be confident in their skin, and create healthy lifestyles they love through her signature Self-care System.
Her mission is to re-define self-care for today's woman in her upcoming book because she knows self-care isn't always easy but essential.
