Why Conversations About Grief Matter More Than Ever
- May 27
- 7 min read
Written by Heather Higgins, Counsellor & Grief Coach
With extensive experience supporting people through grief, and the professionals who work with them, Heather delivers practical, compassionate insights grounded in counselling, psychology, and emotional wellbeing. Her work focuses on helping individuals and organisations navigate grief with confidence and care.
Grief is one of the most universal human experiences, yet many people still struggle to talk about it openly. Despite growing awareness around mental health and wellbeing, grief often remains hidden behind silence, discomfort or an expectation to appear “fine”. Loss affects us all, but when conversations around grief are avoided, people often feel isolated and unsupported. Open and honest discussions around grief have the power to create connection, safety and compassion, allowing us to better understand what it really means to live alongside loss.
Why is grief still so difficult to talk about?
Although grief is something every person will go through at some point in life, many of us still find it deeply uncomfortable to talk about. We are often taught to suppress difficult emotions, avoid uncomfortable conversations or “stay strong” for others, leaving many without the emotional language or confidence to navigate bereavement.
As a result, grief can feel incredibly isolating, with people fearing they may say the wrong thing, burden others with their feelings, or appear unable to cope. In a society that often values productivity, positivity and fast recovery, grief unfortunately doesn’t always fit neatly into everyday life. Yet, avoiding these conversations does not remove grief. It simply leaves people carrying it alone.
The impact of silence on children, adults and families
Avoiding conversations around loss can have a significant impact on our mental health, wellbeing, relationships and behaviours. It can create feelings of emotional isolation, leading to negative self esteem and internalised feelings.
This can show up in different ways. In children, it might look like withdrawal, changes in mood or acting out. Adults may suppress emotions to protect others or to appear as if they are coping, while internally struggling with exhaustion, anxiety, anger, sadness or even emotional numbness. Within families, silence around loss can create misunderstandings, emotional distance, and the unspoken belief that grief should be hidden rather than shared.
Avoiding conversations about grief can leave people feeling isolated in their pain, disconnected from support and questioning if what they are experiencing is normal (spoiler alert, it is normal!). Honest conversations do not remove grief, but they reduce the loneliness that often accompanies it.
Why grief conversations matter in the workplace
Typically, people return to work or “normal life” quite quickly after a bereavement. This can be due to expectations from others or even ourselves. Some may want to return to work as a form of distraction from the heaviness that accompanies grief and for some, it comes down to finances. It is important that however and whenever people return to work after a loss that they are supported. Conversations and support at work can make a huge difference in a bereaved person's transition back into the workplace.
This is why grief education in an organisational context is so important. It teaches managers, business owners, and staff members how to support employees and colleagues returning to work, strategies and techniques to reduce stress and create psychologically safe spaces where employees feel listened to, heard and understood. When organisations are willing to openly acknowledge grief rather than avoid it, they foster trust, compassion and connection in the workplace. This can lead to reduced burnout and emotional overwhelm in staff, but also improve morale, strengthen employee retention and foster healthier workplace relationships which benefits everyone.
What do helpful grief conversations actually look like?
A common misconception is that people need to have “the perfect words” to support someone who is grieving. In reality, that pressure can make conversations feel even more difficult. Often, the most meaningful thing we can offer is simply our presence. Helpful grief conversations are not about trying to “fix” someone’s pain, but about listening without judgement, acknowledging their loss and allowing emotions to be expressed openly without fear of criticism.
When we create space for people to grieve in their own way, we give them permission to feel seen, heard and understood. Grieving people know their pain cannot be simply “taken away”, and it is not our job to remove it. But sometimes compassionate listening is the most powerful support we can offer.
Seven practical ways we can improve our conversations around grief
Improving conversations around grief does not require perfect words or professional training. It starts with us creating more openness, compassion and willingness to listen. Small changes in the way we respond to loss can make a significant difference to someone who is grieving. By normalising conversations and creating space for emotional expression, we can help people feel more supported and less alone.
Here are seven practical ways we can begin creating more grief informed conversations in everyday life:
1. Replace advice with listening and validation
It’s often our first instinct to want to “fix” someone's pain or make them feel better and that, at times, comes with well intentioned but sometimes unhelpful advice. During a time of emotional turmoil, an empathetic ear and just showing up for someone is sometimes the most helpful thing you can offer.
2. Stop rushing people to move on
People need to grieve in their own time. There is no timeline for grief and there is no “getting over” a loss. There is also no “right way” to grieve and everyone handles it differently, and that’s ok. Over time, we can learn to live alongside the loss as we navigate the stages of grief, but telling someone to “move on” or that they should “be over it by now” can create feelings of shame and guilt on top of an already complex and heavy emotion.
3. Check in with grieving people after the funeral period
After a funeral, life goes back to normal for everyone else. But for those suffering a loss, this is often when grief hits the hardest. They are adjusting to a new world without their person, but often this is when the check ins stop. This is commonly when people need it most, so check in on your grieving friends. Grief doesn’t end after a funeral. More often than not, it is just beginning.
4. Normalise talking about grief in schools and workplaces
Schools and workplaces play an important role in shaping how people understand and respond to grief. When conversations around bereavement are acknowledged openly rather than avoided, it helps create environments where people feel safer expressing emotions and accessing support. Normalising these conversations reduces stigma and helps people feel more understood.
5. Teach children emotional language early
While in their developmental stages, it is important that we encourage emotional language in children and young people. It helps them build confidence in emotional expression and validates their experience. If children learn early to suppress their emotions, this can cause grief to show up in other, often more harmful ways (changes in behaviour, isolation, anxiety).
6. Create workplace policies that acknowledge emotional wellbeing
Workplace policies should recognise that grief and emotional wellbeing can have a significant impact on employees both personally and professionally. Compassionate bereavement support, flexible communication and psychologically safe environments can help employees feel supported rather than pressured during difficult times. Grief doesn’t disappear for people when it is time to return to work, and it is important that organisations acknowledge this.
7. Encourage grief education and awareness training
Education and training around grief can help individuals, workplaces, schools and communities feel more confident in supporting people through loss. Many people avoid grief conversations through fear of saying the wrong thing, or lack of understanding around how grief can affect emotions, behaviour and wellbeing. By increasing awareness and guidance, we can create more compassionate, informed environments where grief is acknowledged openly and people feel less alone and more supported.
Creating a more grief informed society
Grief is part of being human, and at some point, every one of us will experience loss in some form. By improving emotional literacy and encouraging more open conversations around grief, we can begin to create a society where people feel safer expressing vulnerability rather than hiding their pain in silence. Compassion matters because feeling seen, heard and supported makes a huge difference during life’s most difficult moments. When we normalise conversations about grief in our homes, schools, workplaces and communities, we not only support those grieving today, but also help future generations develop healthier, more compassionate ways of understanding loss and supporting one another.
Creating change through conversation
Perhaps creating change begins with something much simpler than we realise, a conversation. When we allow grief to be spoken about openly, we help remove that fear, shame and isolation that so many of us carry after a loss. We may not be able to take someone’s pain away, but we can ensure that they don’t have to navigate it alone. Let’s encourage more open conversations around grief so that we can begin to build a more emotionally aware and compassionate society for future generations.
If you need 1:1 support through loss, grief or bereavement or would like more information on grief education workshops for organisations, workplaces and schools please reach out. You can find me through email, Instagram or my website.
You can also read more about processing loss in my memoir Guided by Grief. You don’t have to navigate this alone.
Read more from Heather Higgins
Heather Higgins, Counsellor & Grief Coach
Heather is a grief specialist, counsellor, author and facilitator with extensive experience supporting children, young people, adults and the professionals who care for them. After loosing both parents at a young age, she now uses her lived experience to support others through bereavement. Her work focuses on helping individuals and organisations better understand grief, loss, and emotional resilience through practical, compassionate approaches. Through her writing and teaching, she aims to make conversations around grief more informed, accessible, and human.
