What Resists... Persists
- Brainz Magazine
- Feb 7, 2022
- 5 min read
Written by: Thomi Seche, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Are you curious about the benefits of mindfulness—and how it works? If you’re ready to discover this powerful method for well-being, keep reading. “What Resists…Persists” For many years, I’ve had this phrase, “What Resists…Persists” going through my mind. It’s been on my mind, in my heart, and on my lips.
I say it more times a day than I can believe. Why does it keep coming up? Because it is true. It’s a shorthand way for me to remember to stay present and practice mindfulness. Let me ask you a question… “How Are You Doing?” When someone asks you this question, what do you do? Do you give a stock answer? Something like, “Fine.” “O.K.” “Managing.” Do you take the time to notice what you’re feeling? Do you take a beat to feel if your answer is true, current, and real? If you’re shaking your head and beginning to worry that you answer on autopilot, and don’t even give it a second thought—don’t despair. It’s what we learned to do. Automatic answers are considered sufficient for many people. But, the thing is—it doesn’t work in the long run.
As busy professionals, we often resort to quick answers to questions like: “How are you doing?” “How are you feeling?” “How are you dealing with stress?” Our responses work for navigating a busy day, making small talk, interacting with a random stranger. But does it ignite a happy feeling, a sense of meaning, and an authentic connection? There is more to life than autopilot.
This is why I come to my mantra, “What resists…persists.”
There’s More To Explore There’s more. A whole lot more to explore. ‘Fine’ is often a placeholder. And you know it. When a dear friend gives you a single- syllable answer, you know something is up. It’s a bandaid. And you know in your gut there’s more underneath. The same holds for your answers. Only you know.
And, as you’re reading this, I’d venture to say, you already know there’s more beneath the surface of ‘fine’ or ‘OK’ as a complete answer.
This is a little example of how we can limit ourselves. We lock in mechanical answers. We don’t investigate our truth, experience, or potential. We don’t risk discovering. We don’t risk speaking up.
This is where the big topic of mindfulness comes in.
The Truth About Mindfulness
Mindfulness is one of the words that is getting a lot of press. It makes sense.
When things are going well…we’re just cruising along with external achievements. We’re happy with creature comforts, rewards, and joys of success. When things are upside down, in turbulence, we go further. We realize that there’s more at stake. And, we aren’t willing to settle. This is why challenging times invite looking beyond persistent habits like answering on autopilot. We look for ways to become alert, attentive, and aware. We actively develop skills for happiness. We take training to learn formal and informal mindfulness practices. We work with a lifestyle coach for unbiased feedback. We reach out to get the skills, techniques, and tools we need to be present in our own life. We learn more practical ways to be mindful at work and home. What is the difference? Motivation. We get into discovery because we know we must. It’s the way we dive into a health program when we know our life depends on it.
It’s easy to dismiss the importance of mindfulness practice. Why? Because it’s hard to see the benefits when you’re getting started. It’s kind of like practicing sit-ups while you still have rolls of fat around your middle. It doesn’t show results instantly. It works gradually. It makes you feel awake, alive, and free. Just like a sit-up, mindfulness has a positive effect, even before you can see the impact. It’s a way to be alive to the present moment. 3 Action Steps To Take Right Now Step 1: Notice Your Automatic Response Before you start changing anything, just notice what is going on. Are you answering on autopilot all the time? Do you feel safe and secure in saying more to some people, or in some situations? Check your own experience. There’s nothing wrong with an automatic response. It’s just that you want to know when you’re doing it, Ummm…without noticing. Step 2. Check-In With Your Body What are you experiencing in your body? Are you noticing changes in your breathing or heart rate? What’s your body saying to you when you listen closely? Step 3. Check-In With Your Feelings Do you notice that you are feeling something other than ‘fine’ or ‘O.K.’ at the moment? Are you feeling sad, lonely, stressed, or angry? This isn’t about changing the feelings, judging the feelings, or trying to feel something other than what’s going on. If you’re noticing that there are some crunchy bits in your experience, you’re on the right track. You’re not avoiding, denying, or minimizing. You’re not resisting feeling. You are on the right track to feeling what you’re feeling. What Resists…Persists What are you noticing in this simple exercise? My hunch is that you’re seeing some opportunities to turn the lights on. You’re noticing that you have more room to notice, sense, and feel. When a dear friend asks you, “how are you feeling?” you have a fresh opening. You can take a breath, notice your truth, and share your experience. Instead of giving an automatic response, you are likely to get curious and speak from your heart.
When you do this, you’re applying mindfulness and moving beyond “what resists — persists.”
Thank you for taking the time to read and put this into practice. I’d love to hear how it goes for you.
Thomi Seche, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Thomi Seche M.A., was born in a small town in Bavaria. Received a Masters's Degree in Fine Arts at the Academy in Munich. He was a monk for 8 years in India, practicing and studying meditation.
He practiced martial arts and received two black belts.
The biggest challenge from a small cell in India was coming to America and learning to live in the USA, from the ground up. From driving cabs to driving big rigs, he became a proud Long Haul Trucker. After 2 years, he started his own training and facilitation business based out of San Francisco. For over 18 years Thomi coached CEOs in transition, facilitated high-level team meetings, and was the trusted ear to executive clients.
Leaving the corporate environment, he started 2 start-ups. And yes, one tanked; and one he exited.
He is an accomplished writer, his first book "The Authentic Message" became the bible for many corporate communicators.
His new book "Being Brave," reveals the steps he took to overcome prejudice and live courageously.
In essence, his motto is: "Make it a life worth living."
To talk to him, ask him anything, visit this link https://www.seche.coach/contact
