What a Baby Monkey Can Teach Us About Power, Privilege, and Possibility
- 10 hours ago
- 7 min read
Ken Breniman is a queer author, licensed clinical social worker, yoga therapist, and thanatologist guiding fellow mindful mortals at the threshold of life, death, devotion, and (r)evolution. His work blends neuroscience, primatology, Celtic wisdom, and psychedelic integration to invite braver ways of being human.
There is a disturbing term I heard about years ago, and it explained so much to my social worker mind: "Punch down society."
Let’s define that clearly.
A punch down society, or PDS*, is one in which power is held by a few and cruelty flows downward. It is a culture where those with status, money, influence, or majority identity take aim at those with less. Humor often humiliates. Policy often excludes. Media often amplifies dominance over dignity. Strength is confused with superiority. Vulnerability is treated as weakness.
Unspoken and unknown by many, the concept of PDS describes a social reward system favoring ridicule over repair, outrage over understanding, control over compassion, and materialism over maternalism.
And yet, while many humans struggle to stay afloat within the undertow of PDS, out of nowhere comes a tiny monkey named Punch.
This infant macaque is alive because humans provided essential medical care, but he was rejected by his mother when returned to the troop. What caught humanity’s attention was a vulnerable simian clinging to an orangutan plush toy as if holding on to the last steady branch in a storm. The image went viral not because it was shocking, but because it was tender. Primal attachment. No words. No pretense. Just one small primate reaching for safety in the arms of another.
The internet paused. Millions watched. And something softened.
Punch did not fight back. He could not protest. He was not able to pen an editorial. He instinctually reached. He only knew to find something or someone to cling to. He regulated his developing limbic system through proximity. He did what all of us primates are wired to do: seek connection in distress.
That moment tells us something profound about who we are and who we could become.
The biology beneath the viral moment
As a licensed clinical social worker, yoga therapist, and grief educator, I spend much of my time helping humans understand their brains, bodies, and bonds. We are not separate from the animal kingdom. We are animals. Highly verbal, technologically amplified animals, yes. But animals nonetheless.
Our stress responses are ancient. Our need for co-regulation is preciously predictable. When we are afraid, we look for eyes. For touch. For breath and heartbeat that regulates our own.
Punch’s clinging was never weakness. It is a heroic example of neurobiological wisdom. In a PDS, however, dependency is shamed. We are told to toughen up. To rise above. To handle it ourselves. We glorify self-sufficiency while quietly unraveling from loneliness.
What Punch demonstrates is that survival is relational.
And here is the paradox: the same social media ecosystem that can fuel punching down became the vehicle for spreading images of attachment and tenderness. Even in a distorted environment, our deeper wiring recognizes truth when it sees it.
Even if there are few tears, we are moved by care.
The orangutan plushy factor
There is something especially symbolic about Punch reaching toward an orangutan doll.
Real orangutans are not small, but their moms know how to cuddle with their babies. They seldom scamper on the ground as Punch and his macaque kin do. They are powerful, arboreal great apes whose populations have been devastated by habitat loss, palm oil expansion, and human encroachment. Many now live in sanctuaries and zoos because they cannot safely return to the wild.
In Punch’s viral embrace, we see a reenactment of cross-species connection: a smaller primate finding solace in a larger one. A vulnerable being leaning into strength without being crushed by it.
Share a breath with me and take this moment to imagine if human power operated like that. Imagine if strength meant holding space rather than exerting force. Imagine if privilege meant protection rather than domination.
That is the shift from punching down to lifting up.
Punch down society: A cultural diagnosis
To move forward, we must name the pathology. A punch down society is not simply about individual bullying. It is systemic. It shows up in:
Economic systems that widen inequality
Rhetoric that scapegoats minorities
Corporate cultures that exploit workers
Online platforms that monetize outrage
Healthcare systems that prioritize profit over care
Environmental policies that sacrifice ecosystems for convenience
Punching down is painfully efficient. It consolidates power quickly. It creates clear villains and easy applause lines.
But it is evolutionarily shortsighted, and Punch just gave humanity a chance to bring the unconscious to the surface and do what Sapiens can also do so well: contemplate and change.
Primatology offers a counter-narrative to PDS that is scientifically sound and continues to astound. Studies of bonobos, for example, reveal social structures built around cooperation, tension diffusion, and coalition building rather than constant dominance hierarchies. Chimpanzees show us the complexity of power struggles and reconciliation. Orangutans show us patience, intelligence, and deliberate learning.
We are descendants of this lineage. We humans contain both the capacity for violence and the capacity for profound care. Punch reminds us which side of that inheritance is worth cultivating.
Dr. Jane Goodall is still cheering us on
If there is a modern saint of primate compassion, it is Dr. Jane Goodall.
She dedicated her life to asking humanity to see chimpanzees not as caricatures but as individuals with personalities, emotions, and social bonds. She challenged the rigid scientific norms of her time by naming her subjects rather than numbering them. That simple act was radical. It was a refusal to punch down.
Dr. Goodall’s life work has been a sustained argument against domination as the primary human strategy. She repeatedly emphasized hope, especially in the face of environmental collapse. Her message has never been naïve optimism. It is grounded hope, hope rooted in witnessing resilience, in young people rising, in small groups making measurable change.
If she were watching Punch cling to his orangutan companion, I suspect she would not see sentimentality. She would see evidence. Evidence that attachment matters. Evidence that cross-species empathy is possible. Evidence that humans still respond to tenderness.
And she might say, as she has so often said, that what you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.
We always have a choice: punch down or lift up.
The privilege question
My upcoming documentary project, Primates, Privilege and Possibility, explores a simple but uncomfortable truth: humans are the only primates who can destroy the planet at scale, and we are also the only apes who can consciously choose not to.
Privilege is not merely socioeconomic. It is cognitive. We have what I often call a supercomputer between our ears: symbolic language, future planning, moral reasoning, and the capacity to imagine consequences decades ahead.
And yet, we frequently witness how that supercomputer can be utilized to justify harm rather than prevent it. A punch down society is a misuse of cognitive privilege.
Now, take this moment to conjure up some ideas around this: an APE-ier society would be different. Aware. Protective. Evolved.
Lessons from a little monkey
What can Punch teach us, practically?
Attachment is not a weakness: Reaching for support is adaptive. In therapy rooms, classrooms, and boardrooms, we must normalize co-regulation rather than glorify isolation.
Power can hold rather than harm: The orangutan did not reject the macaque. Strength did not require dominance. Leaders can embody this model.
Viral tenderness reveals collective hunger: The massive response to Punch’s story signals that people are starved for images of care. Media ecosystems could amplify more of it.
Interdependence is survival: Ecosystems collapse when one species overwhelms the others. Societies fracture when empathy erodes. Mutuality is not sentimental. It is strategic.
Small beings matter: In a punch down society, the smallest voices are easiest to ignore. Evolution favors systems that protect their most vulnerable members.
From outrage to reverence
The challenge is not that humans lack the capacity for empathy. The challenge is to keep our empathic responses honed. It is that outrage is addictive. It spikes adrenaline. It unites tribes quickly. It offers clarity in a complex world.
Reverence is slower. Reverence requires pausing long enough to feel the full weight of another being’s experience. It requires humility. It requires acknowledging that our species does not stand above nature but within it.
Punch’s clinging posture is reverence in action. He does not assume superiority. He assumes need. Perhaps that is what we most resist: admitting our need for one another.
The invitation
We can continue living in a punch down society. History shows that path clearly. It leads to environmental collapse, widening inequality, chronic stress disorders, and fractured communities. Or we can experiment.
We can ask: what would it mean to manifest policies, businesses, families, and digital spaces that lift up rather than push down? What would it mean to view privilege as responsibility? What would it mean to treat our fellow primates not as resources but as relatives?
Dr. Goodall spent her life answering those questions with action. Punch answered them with a hug. And millions of humans responded not with mockery, but with awe. That is not trivial. That is evidence of possibility.
We are mortal apes with extraordinary brains. We are capable of destruction, yes. But we are equally capable of restraint, creativity, and compassion. The viral moment of a baby macaque and an orangutan plushy is not just cute content. It is a mirror.
In that mirror, we see who we have been. And who we could become. Let us be the species that chooses to lift. Let us be APE-ier. More aware. More protective. More evolved. Punch has shown us how. And somewhere, I imagine Jane Goodall smiling gently, cheering us on.
The PDS referred to in this article is not a meteorological term forecasting storms in the sky. Instead, it names a cultural climate that can be difficult to shift, but awareness is the first and most powerful step toward change.
Read more from Kenneth J. Breniman
Kenneth J. Breniman, Grief Guide & Mindfully Mortal Therapist
Ken Breniman is a queer author, licensed clinical social worker, certified yoga therapist, and thanatologist whose work lives at the intersection of mortality, meaning, and transformation. Drawing from neuroscience, primatology, Celtic wisdom, and psychedelic integration, he challenges the myth of human exceptionalism while honoring the precious role each of us plays in the ongoing evolution of our species. Ken is the author of a three-body solution and subversive acts of humanity, and the creator of the See-Soul children’s grief literacy series. Through writing, teaching, and ritual-informed practice, he guides mindful mortals toward deeper humility, resilience, and collective becoming.
