Written by: Ailsa Keppie, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We humans are odd beings with many paradoxical attributes. In the past few hundred years, with the rise of Rational Thinking “, I think therefore I am” as Descartes said, we have tended to push aside our other aspects.
Things like emotions as a motivating factor or our social nature have been pushed aside in favour of rationality. However, it seems that we have not managed to purge these other motivations too far from us. One has only to look around at the current geopolitical climate and we notice how irrational the whole thing seems.
So what is this? How are we still telling ourselves we are rational beings controlled by thought and logic? Well, when we begin to realize that we depend on each other to keep our shared delusions sacred, we begin to see the full spectrum of our insanity. In some ways, we need to have other people support our beliefs and ideology. We feel lost without this shared delusion.
Some of us have begun to see how breaking free of the socially acceptable narratives throws us into chaos and the challenging role of trying to build a new reality for ourselves. Often this ‘change of heart’, we could say or even ‘change of mind’ comes at a high personal cost. Our ability to fit in to our society and participate with others comes into question if we no longer support the shared delusions of the current narrative.
So is it possible to even survive outside these shared delusions? Can an individual make a stand for something new or different?
Well, this depends on the person and on whether they can convince even a few others to join them in a new set of values or agreements. Their narrative may be just as delusional as the one they have left behind. Perhaps all narratives have some ‘truth’ and some ‘false’, perhaps we will never know a complete truth as a Social norm.
So why am I writing about this as a Relationship coach?
I often deal with couples who have reached a rocky part of their journey together. They come to see me because they realize they are no longer on the same page as their spouse. The shared narrative they may have had when they first got together no longer rings true for them both. They no longer want to commit to the shared delusions, be it the ‘happy family’ or the ‘successful career couple’ or whatever it was. They are seeing the cracks in the story and they want to change it up.
Sometimes one partner begins the journey alone and their partner then has to choose to shift with them or go in a different direction. Renegotiating agreements and re-telling the narratives of our life ARE the basis of good relationships. As social animals, we depend on our partners, family and friends to share in our reality, even our very existence.
So what are the delusions you find yourself sharing now? Do you choose these delusions and are you content with them, or do you crave a change or a shift to align with something different?
It is not wrong to choose to share in someone’s delusion, even our own, but it is helpful to know that we have them. Our delusions may seem ‘true’ to us but ‘false’ to others. Can we all accept that we are mostly creating our own delusional reality and hoping to meet a few other like-minded souls who will share this reality with us? Can we allow others to have their own narratives?
These are all huge questions on the current global scale that we see them playing out. However, working within our own relationships is a much more manageable way to begin to look at how our reality does begin with these agreements about shared narratives. As we become more conscious of our personal delusions, perhaps we can understand how to work together on a larger scale.
This is how I believe great relationships are formed and relationships will always be a key part of being human.
Interested in learning about agreements, relationships, shaping our own reality and things of this nature?
Book a consult with me
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In shared delusions of peace and harmony,
Ailsa
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Ailsa Keppie, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Ailsa is a trained intimacy Educator and Somatic Therapist and has been working in hands-on bodywork, somatic coaching, and healing for over a decade. Ailsa Keppie brings aspects from her background in circus arts, physical theatre, music, dance, myofascial release, bioenergetic processes, archetypes, and spirituality to her work with clients. She is a published author of her compelling memoir entitled "By the Light of the Crescent Moon," which describes her incredible journey into Islam and polygamy and how it lead to her awakening and reclamation of her own Eros and power. Ailsa works with individuals, couples, and groups both online and in-person at her retreat center, Our Celtic Hearth, in Nova Scotia, Canada, where she resides with her current life partner.
