Shaken Identity – What Happens When Work Becomes Who We Are
- Brainz Magazine
- 6 hours ago
- 5 min read
Anne-Sophie Gossan, founder of Inner Spark Coaching, supports individuals going through career transitions so they find meaningful direction, reignite their spark, and thrive. She brings calm, clarity, and deep empathy, and asks the questions that unlock their truths while holding space for both vulnerability and growth.
In my last article, “What career disruption really feels like and why it might be a gift,” I explored how losing a role can shake our confidence and force us to confront fear. But disruption doesn’t just take away a job. It unsettles something deeper: our sense of identity. Most of my clients don’t just grieve the career they once loved, they grieve the identity that came with it.
This article is about that shaken identity, what happens when work becomes who we are, and how we can begin to redefine ourselves on our own terms. Because when disruption hits (a redundancy, a restructure, a career pivot), it’s not only the salary or the daily routine that disappears. It’s the sense of who I am. And that loss can feel even heavier than the loss of the role itself.
I know this feeling. When I left corporate life, I didn’t just walk away from a job. I walked away from a label that had defined me for years. Suddenly, I wasn’t “Anne-Sophie, leading the team” or “Anne-Sophie, the trusted client service partner.” I was just me. And for a while, that felt terrifyingly empty.
What happens when identity is shaken
Self-doubt hits hard and fast. It demands, if I’m not in this job, then who am I?
Tony Robbins writes: “Identity is simply the beliefs that we use to define our own individuality, what makes us unique, good, bad, or indifferent, from other individuals.” (Awaken the Giant Within)
The problem is, many of us let our jobs define those beliefs. Kate Morgan, in her BBC article, points out that jobs are so ingrained in our identity that one of the first things we do when we meet new people is tell them our profession. It’s shorthand for who we are.
But what happens when that shorthand disappears?
Psychologists call it enmeshment, when boundaries blur and our work consumes our sense of self. Innovative Human Capital describes how this can lead to identity crises when the career you’ve dedicated your life to no longer exists. I see this often, clients who’ve poured themselves into their work to the point that they’ve forgotten who they are outside of it.
I’ve been there too. When I first stepped away from my corporate role, I felt stripped bare. My identity had been so tied to my title that without it, I wasn’t sure what was left.
The danger of defining ourselves too narrowly
We define ourselves in countless ways:
By our job titles: “I am a manager.”
By our income: “I am successful because I earn X.”
By our roles: “I am a mother, a partner.”
By our behaviours: “I am disciplined, I am reckless.”
By our feedback: “I am worthless, I am special.”
The risk is obvious. When one of those definitions disappears, we feel lost.
I used to say, “I could never go to the gym at 6 am.” That belief was part of my identity. And yet, now I go four or five times a week. I also used to say, “I would never be capable of launching my own business.” But here I am, running Inner Spark Coaching.
Identity isn’t fixed. It’s shaped by the stories we tell ourselves. Brené Brown reminds us: “What we know matters but who we are matters more.”
Identity as fluid and evolving
We rarely stay the same person at 20 and at 40. Life circumstances, relationships, successes, and failures all shift how we see ourselves.
Try this exercise:
Who were you at 20?
Who are you now?
What has changed and why?
What did you lose that you’d love to get back?
What do you have now that you want to let go of?
What did you never have but would love to claim?
Who would you love to become next?
When clients do this, they often realise how much their identity has already evolved, which means it can evolve again.
Zadie Smith wrote: “I am the sole author of the dictionary that defines me.” Aristotle said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
Both remind us that identity is alive, and because it shifts, we can reinvent ourselves.
For me, the shift from my corporate life to coaching wasn’t just a career change. It was an identity change. I had to let go of the labels that had defined me and write new ones: empathetic guide, thought partner, spark-igniter.
Reinventing yourself
Reinvention doesn’t happen overnight. It begins with noticing what shapes your identity, what empowers you, and what disempowers you.
It starts with small steps. Edison once said, “If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.”
I didn’t wake up one day and decide to launch a business. I started slowly, testing ideas, building confidence, redefining what I believed I was capable of. Just like the gym story, identity shifts are built one choice at a time.
Brené Brown offers this wisdom: “Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be, embrace who you are.”
That’s the heart of reinvention. It’s not about becoming someone else. It’s about reclaiming the parts of yourself that got buried under labels, expectations, and roles.
Protecting your identity
Boundaries matter. When work consumes us, we risk losing ourselves. Enmeshment is dangerous because it erodes autonomy.
Protecting your identity means remembering that you are more than your job title. You are more than your income. You are more than the feedback you’ve received.
Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”
Tony Robbins calls identity an invisible force, like gravity, that controls your life. But unlike gravity, identity can be reshaped.
Conclusion: Identity as renewal
When your identity feels shaken, it’s easy to believe you’ve lost yourself, and it can feel like failure. But what if that shake is not the end but the beginning of something new?
Identity isn’t a fixed label. It’s a living story you get to rewrite. The disruption that stripped away your old role is also the invitation to ask: Who do I want to be now?
I’ve learned that reinvention doesn’t happen in one dramatic leap. It happens in small, deliberate choices, like showing up at the gym when I once thought I couldn’t, or daring to launch a business I once believed was impossible. Each choice reshapes the story of who we are.
So if your identity feels uncertain, take it as proof that you’re in motion. You’re evolving. And you have the power to define yourself on your own terms.
Your spark isn’t gone. It’s waiting. And when you choose to see yourself beyond the labels, you’ll find that your identity isn’t shaken. It’s renewed.
That’s the work of Inner Spark Coaching. Helping people see that their spark isn’t gone, it’s just waiting to be reignited.
Because you are more than your job title, you are more than your past. And you are capable of astounding yourself.
Read more from Anne-Sophie Gossan
Anne-Sophie Gossan, Transformational Career Coach
Anne-Sophie Gossan spent 25+ years in the corporate world navigating high-stakes environments and career transitions. She spent years building a career and a home, juggling the demands of raising two boys while holding down a very demanding job.
When redundancy struck, it shook her confidence and identity in ways she hadn’t anticipated. She decided to qualify as a coach and to create Inner Spark Coaching: Reimagine Your Story, a safe space where her clients can reclaim the unstoppable version of themselves that’s always been there.
Through coaching, conversation, and deep transformation, she guides individuals into their next chapter with clarity, confidence, alignment, and renewed purpose.
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